Thomas wants to welcome back his fans. Saucy picture for my fans enclosed.

[FONT="Courier New"]OK. This is my welcome back thread/blog thingy.lol

Since my departure from TiBB I have had many sleepless nights, not helped by Marge who is now sleeping on the floor at the end of my bed. Not wanting to cause any drama I will cut it short and say she got attacked in Primark. She now fears her safety and sleeps in my room. I wake up in the middle of the night to see her staring at me from the end of my bed with the look of the devil on copious amounts of speed. She has really lost the plot, bless her, and claims to see human sized jelly babies wondering about the garden. I tell people she doing well, but the reality is that she is really going kuku.

I have turned to religion to get me through this very sad time. My room is now laid out with several pray mats, a well of water and ornamental figures of Buddha. I have a priest, Mr Fanny Kidler, who comes to my house every week for bible sessions and weekly baptisms using the water from my well to wash away all evils. With the last couple of months being very difficult, my faith was restored as I saw the Holy Father visit the UK and sit upon his thrown wearing all of white with a doily on his head.

Having, also, swallowed a dictionary and taking elocution lessons, my world has changed for the better.

Furthermore, Doreen, the owner of the lady's dog I use to take out, has dementia and is in its late stages. Having gone over there we ended up talking about daffodils to having sex over her sofa. Much to my sadness I can't keep contact as the envisage of shagging her haunts me, not to mention the fact she is a withered OAP who pisses herself at several points throughout the day. I also feel deadly guilty as she called me “Fred” on several occasions. Fred being her lately departed husband who died from the holy sins of smoking; no he didn't die of lung cancer, he choked to death on a menthol filter tip. Much to the thought of shagging who she thought was her dead husband, being called by 10 different names really freaked me out. I asked her if she missed her dog, Ted, and she started waffling on about a cat.

Yes, so I just want to point out that I've changed. As much as my life is filled with tragedy and epic goings-ons, I will limit the threads I do and post more in my blog. Arguments are also against my newly formed religion so expect the usual response of, “Awwww babes. I still love you nay matter what you say xxxxxxxxx :/hug:” No, but on a serious note to the above quote - I won't be arguing with people or baiting them, (no) reporting them and will less down on my threads.

I now take this quote from my bible: “Dye sin of lord and all of wealth, that I of camel shall be blessed and behave whilst servicing thy of community(BOB: 15:46)”.

You will see a new and reformed Thomas lead by our holy lord who has nothing, but 'love bubbling away in his belly'.

Sandy is another announcement, but I want to put that to the back of my mind for another time. Battling her loss caused me to change my ways and I will be sure to tell you all, but not at this moment in time. The situation is still at a raw nerve that if tweaked to a certain degree could cause a series of mentally related issues that at this time would be a burden on the storm that is being weathered to make Marge better, as well as myself. My priest is helping with all these issues as well as the lately departed Jade, who is still gaping a big hole in my heart.

I know how much some of you have missed me so as a treat here is a picture of me in all my gloried man flesh: [spoiler][IMG]http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/479/mesoooodeaddropsexyxxsm.jpg[/IMG][/spoiler] (I did tell you all, when I first joined, that I had big man boobs. )

I love showing a bit of cleavage. The bit of bum fluff on my chest looks awesomely hot too. I can't wait until I lose the weight and have a well pruned set of pecks and flat chest that swarms men from all nations as well as a few delectable ladies that are on a rare occasion, a fantasy to my sordid mind............... Yes, Vicky, you my dear! :p.....I'd ALSO be happy to serve a bit of forum milk <snip> (correction MILF) on the side who would be surrendered on all four knees whilst I shouted various commands such as “one to the left, one to the right”............................... Even the Taliban will be surrendering on sight of my body.

My dear dog Bazil would also like to welcome himself back or for a better word 'to' the TiBB community with a bated breath of last night's tripe: [spoiler][IMG]http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/5035/bazil.jpg [/IMG][/spoiler] ....And yes it is my dog. Check out backgrounding then check it with pictures I've posted of my kitchen before.

I've since lost a stone and the battle continues, but as I follow the light guided by Virgin Mary (Mother), her son (Jesus) and father (God), I feel better in myself as I can walk down the road without ascertaining whether I've put on an extra stone because I'd have been munching on several double deckers and holding a hip flask full of floater.

Even though Marge is suppose to look after me, it is the other way round now as our god guides us willingly through all things bleak and gloom.

Please see me wither a carnation and turn into a blossoming rose as the new Thomas brings love and soul to the community. I for one have changed and you will soon see that. :)

P.S – More pictures of me in MTM as a special present to my fans (give me 10 minutes they'll appear).

On a final note I would like to thanks Iceman and Vicky for reasons they'll know about. XX[/FONT]