Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 10754732)

im not having a go but the sun and the moon dont have a love affair

they are 150 million kilometres away for a kick off and one is a star and the other a planet:shrug:

Originally Posted by Marsh. (Post 10754741)

Inter-species love and give each other space. :love: Perfect.

Originally Posted by Marsh. (Post 10754729)

Ugh,
Excuse me ladeh,
You're supposed to be on the bloody till

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 10754732)

im not having a go but the sun and the moon dont have a love affair

they are 150 million kilometres away for a kick off and one is a star and the other a planet:shrug:

Originally Posted by MTVN (Post 11403027)

Very nice sheriff, your own words?

Originally Posted by Sticks (Post 11403446)

A blank can still kill at close enough range - The covered this on a CSI New York

Originally Posted by Jesus. (Post 6421489)

The ballad of Lee & Dave

Of all forum members that use Tea Eye Bee Bee
There are none with a mouth as foul as she
With a tongue sharp enough to kill or to hunt
Never misses an opportunity to call me a ******.

Her days of toilet 3somes will soon disappear
And STI’s dripping down her thighs like tears
to only one man she will make humanist pledges
No more sucking off strangers for Benson & Hedges

With more jimmies than LK could ever be rustlin’
Shouting at her kids “did you take a sh**e? That’s ******ing disgustin’”
Although everyman in Scotland has ridden this bike
It’s now time for them to all take a hike.

An Englishman is better – don’t let Dave settle for this
A Scottish scag head that’s always on the piss
Now I don’t want to raise an alarm
But the reason she’s shy to get out her arms
Is nothing to do with those bingo wings
It’s the giveaway needle marks – those little black rings
But all those dealers needed to be serviced
This is why she’s got more of a guesthouse than a cervix

So now we get to the crux of the matter
She needs someone as she gets older and fatter
Someone to wheel her between the kettle and the fridge
And change that monthly towel in her ungroomed ridge

There’s only one item that’s still outstanding
jus primae noctis – that wedding night pounding
I suggest a TIBB raffle – we could all buy a ticket
The prize? A sloppy, disease-laden wicket.

Although this poem, is dodgy in theme
I’m sure she’ll appreciate it when she moves to the scheme
If she’s ever single, and finds herself love-starvin’
She can pop next door, and snuggle with Marvin

But to them both, I wish only love and laughter
Not just in this life, but eternal hereafter
She really is a hell of a catch
If you don’t mind a girl with a cavernous snatch

Originally Posted by MTVN (Post 11403030)

O dreams! Where has your sweetness vanished?
And where has youth (glib rhyme) been banished?
Can it be true, it's bloom has passed,
Has withered, withered now at last?
Can it be true my heyday's ended-
All elegiac play aside-
That now indeed my spring has died
(As I in jest so oft pretended)?
And is there no return of youth?
Shall I be thirty soon, in truth?

And so life's afternoon has started,
As I must now admit, I see.
But let us then as friends be parted,
My sparkling youth, before you flee!
I thank you for your host of treasures,
For pain and grief as well as pleasures,
For storms and feasts and worldly noise,
For all your gifts and all your joys;
My thanks to you. With you I've tasted,
Amid the tumult and the still,
Life's essence...and enjoyed my fill.
Enough! Clear-souled and far from wasted,
I start upon an untrod way
To take my rest from yesterday
__

That's my favourite section from Eugene Onegin which I read this year, it's so good I immediately finished it then went back and read it all again. I had just turned 30 when I read it so this felt very apt :pipe2: