- TwoSugars
- Andybigbro
- Glenn
- Matthew
- Barry
- Amy Jade
- Tony Montana
- Epic.
- Mitchell
- Calderyon
- Underscore

- Laquisha
- Chad Johnson
- Lindsay Lohan
- Alan Carr
- Gemma Collins
- Pete Burns
- Piers Morgan
- Jonty Stern
- Pudsey the Bear
- Stephanie Davis?
- Zak Dingle from Emmerdale
- John Partridge?
- Phyllis
- Judge Judy Sheindlin
- Denise Welch
- Eminem
- Jackie Stallone
- Sylvester Stallone
- Casey Batchelor
- Steven
- Jason (beloved Tibb member)
- London Tipton
- Zack and Cody
- Davina McCall
- Camilla Parker Bowles
- Peter Andre
- Emily
- Barry from Eastenders
- Georgia Steel
- Kim Woodburn
- Nicola McLean
- Nicole Scherzinger
- BB6 housemates
- Brian Dowling
- Emma Willis
- TwoSugars
- SherzyK (Legend)
- Tulisa
- Sharon Osbourne
- Mitchell (Rebel)
- James Cosmo
- Janet Street-Porter
- Roxanne Pallett
- Hardeep Singh Kohli
- Benjamin Jardine
- Kerry Katona
- India Willoughby
- Amanda Barrie
- Grant and Phil
- Lisa Appleton
- Shannon Elizabeth

There was a girlie named Laquisha who sat on Chad Johnson's big pot of hummus. This made Chad fart uncontrollably for five hours straight. Laquisha ate Chad's jumbo sausage roll and Chad got extremely angry at his growing erection. Suddenly Chad died of laughter at Laquishas very big heart and she collapsed sexually unfulfilled.

Meanwhile Lindsay Lohan wiped her wet wipe on Alan Carr’s crusty, hairy arsehole. Gemma Collins decided to do a pirouette, while Pete Burns eyed Alan's arsehole and Piers Morgan licked it while Alan leaked anally on Jonty Stern’s teddies. After doing this, Jonty ate spuds and shat himself in front of Pudsey the Bear. This surprised Pudsey so much he thanked Jonty for having no morals.

Lindsay Lohan searched for a dripping wet rag to fly away on. Instead she found Steph’s dirty knickers, dripping with piss. Lohan felt thristy, so she decided drink bitty from Zak from Emmerdale’s big, hairy left nostril. Lindsay cried because it tasted like Sarsons vinegar and was also as bitter as Zak's stale cum. Along came John to save the bitter twisted cow, who had a rope wrapped around her left leg and attached to Laquisha’s left breast. She screamed "OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gemma heard the neighbour Phyllis having an unusual orgasm, sounding very painful. Judge Judy screamed at a radiator for burning her. Happy thanksgiving pilgrims, a coconut hit Denise Welch's vagina, it was wet and caked with spotted dick and squirty cream. Denise unlocked her box of her emergency big dildos and used the biggest dildo to stop Phyllis using hers. "Fook me" cried a sweating Eminem. “Phyllis!” shouted Denise "sit on him!"

Phyllis then proceeded to sit on a chaise lounge and phoned 999, no one answered. This made Phyllis angry but horny or so thought Judge Judy who repeatedly spanked her juicy fat ass. Meanwhile, Jackie Stallone ate a fresh booger from her rotting silicone nose and shouted at Sylvester for not asking Phyllis to wipe her ass. Jackie farted angrily. "Shiver me timbers," screeched Casey Batchelor as she opened it for Steven Hawking who whizzed up Phyllis’s grand mystery machine.

Lindsay, the neighbour’s little Scottish sex slave had just finished preparing some shiny swords for battle. Her noble steed started licking her back at the battle of the gnomes. Lindsay fought back growing arousal thinking about Jason eating her growler. “Yum” said Lindsay. Without hesitation, Lindsay used her sword. Belinda Belinda Belinda, chanted the witch. Mariah Carey suddenly unsheathed her microphone, and jizzed herself. Simon Cowell disapproved and started masturbating. Sinitta filmed him, but nobody noticed her recording with her Nokia 3310. She felt naughty, so she flung a big juicy pile of sh*t.

London Tipton saw Zack and Cody playing with their new games console. She approached them suggesting a threesome which the twins gladly accepted. They approached London, giggling and they went down on her. She grabbed a spear and threw away her knickers, they exploded midair which shocked her into craping herself. Meanwhile, Davina McCall lost her inhaler, she panicked and died breathless.

Camilla Parker Bowles decided to eat fish and chips with chop sticks. She felt brave and opened her mouth to the GC's designer vagina, which made GC piss in it until she choked. Suddenly, the earth shuddered under GC's feet as she hiccuped ferociously loud which caused a classic Indonesian tsunami, making Gemma cum. Camilla's protruding tongue wagged around furiously like a dog.

Peter Andre moonwalked in his socks while mysterious girl played. Naked, Peter approached Emily with an impressive erection. Emily bludgeoned Peter with her strap-on mace and continuously tugged his manhood. Peter filed for aggravated assault and Judge Judy sentenced him to death. Peter broke down as Phyllis reappeared to duel with Barry from Eastenders

Barry emerged from the depths of hell, looking for Georgia Steels loyalty. He searched everywhere and found nothing. Suddenly, Georgia appeared screaming her catchphrase to everyone in the villa. Laura and Marco were slain by the Dick the Ripper, who gutted them and ate their remains. Police came and handcuffed Georgia. “I’m loyal babes!” she protested, but Kim Woodburn knew she was a dishonest little bitch. “Don’t start luvvie” she said as the police threw apples at her. A gun shot blew Kim's brains to blowjob level. Bloodied cops jerked Kim’s lifeless body into a van, but Kim laughed as she rose. ‘I’m Jesus luvvies’ and demanded Nicola to eat her pussy.

Nicola punched Kim, but Kim unleashed her giant battle sword. “ADULTERERS BOW DOWN!” She swiftly decapitated Nicola's feminity by driving Prince Phillip’s crusty old cock. The cock clucked and spewed jizz over Kim Woodburns feet. Sweet little bunnies hopped towards Kim, causing Nicola to pull some flowers, offer Kim but piss off ''Nicole'. The next day, Nicole Scherzinger flew in her dildo; "There's one Nicole!" she said pouting. McLean twatted her over the head, then grabbed her, unleashing a headbutt, making Kim cackle!

Kim gouged Nicola’s eyes until they popped and oozed gunge. Nicole slapped Kim for not having any testicles. “I have bigger cock, balls, minge!" Confused, Nicole banished Kim from the big, sweaty, boiling, cock, balls, minge! “Whatever, MINGER!” cried Roberto. Makosi laughed at Maxwell and Saskia after drinking her own piss, making Roberto dehydrated. The end of a sausage exploded shattering Saskia's spine. Mary giggled uncontrollably at Derek. "My sausage!" he cried and died. Davina evicted everyone, before dying so twats were homeless

Davina McCall cried wolf. No-one listened and the wolf lunged at her purse which was full of feces. Brian Dowling chuckled at ****ty wolf feces. Suddenly, wolves grabbed him and infracted him for having a penis. It was out. Twosugars grabbed Brians bulge and said sorry and left. However, he returned to inspect Emma’s unbelievably large breasts then left forever. Emma grabbed him and kidnapped him. Blindfolded and gagged, SherzyK decided to hold him hostage in Georgia Steel's dungeon. Georgia and Sherzyk poked at jelly for fun, while talking about Tulisa’s gender mutilation.

Tulisa was skeptic. Her minge was eaten by ants. Sharon Osbourne sniggered but secretly wet her appetite with pastry. Sharon slapped Mitchell silly until he stopped being a fat ****. Cher laughed at Madonna and her cat, named Bonnie Langford, who has fur, so overgrown that it covers her Duran Duran collection. Mitchell kept messing around sexually with Jackiey Budden, playing with Rylan's BOTS-mobile. Jackiey Budden felt betrayed and horny after she discovered Rylan's FAREWELL FANGS in Bonnie’s hairy starfish. Sherzy salivated at the naked Tom Jones Impersonator and started masturbating rapidly.

This caused him to think about his sins in his past, present and future, when he nutted Coleen Nolans huge coconuts and papaya. He was joined by James Cosmo naked and drunk; "Bite yer ****ing bollocks” he said. Kim took offence, but was busy yelling ''adulterer'' at her own pussy cat which was loved by pussies and cockrels too. James started stripping Sherzy's clothes off but he twatted his "****ing nose”. Janet Street-Porter licked her fingers at the spectacle. She also stripped off her blouse releasing her breasts to let James motorboat them relentlessly.

Janet was exhausted from the motorboating, grabbed her broomstick and fled the conflict. Roxanne Pallett cried out for Ryan Thomas after not being abused. “Owwwww woman beater” she squealed loudly after Ryan repeatedly cried like a child. “He’s a liar!” she cried hysterically as Hardeep laughed and stabbed her with a joke. "You hurt me", she proclaimed but Hardeep impersonated her; "I love a good punch I do!" Ben Jardine wept and wanked simultanously, jealous he couldn't punch her. She walked around looking for victims to shag. She took her boobs for a walk to the garden and let them smoke homemade cigarettes while her fanny was loose with superherpes. "Yummy ciggies!" the boobs croaked with delight as she playfully fought with herself, feeling desperate.

Poor Roxy thought she must find an apology from Grant and Phil. Kerry Katona sniffed too much coke, snorting at India Willoughby's sweat. India slapped Amanda with manly hands for being nasty about Ann Widdecombe; "I'M A REAL WOMUNNN!" she said in baritone. Her breasts swayed, her hips don't lie, Amanda was moist! Lisa Appleton appeared. "My burgers are nice" she purred seductively and slapped Mario’s ass; "Health and Safety!" he giggled with his soggy slippers and trousers. Lisa told Mario he's the new David Brent. Jale suddenly entered and lunged at TiBB's 'Get Jale Out' thread. Chuff me dizzy sat back aghast at Shilpa Shetty, who slayed the CBB5 bullying gang. Chuff was stubborn upon Jade’s eviction, believing every lie Raven Walton told.

Kaitlyn Herman cried, as per usual she queefed loudly, cleansing the spirit that lurked inside of Dina Lohan and Lolo Jones. Surprisingly, it also cleansed their vaginas until they were mentally and physically sick. They puked a green substance which corroded the toilet bowl and gave birth to Miss Tina Malone! “No man will ever shag me” she shouted. Coolio cried himself to sleep, jealous. Ainsley Harriot kicked Coolio to another gangster’s paradise instead. The Xenomorph egg, which was really big and sticky, hatched to reveal a big angry gremlin. It spewed blood at everyone; Two Second Steven cried as he opened it slowly. It sprayed a “lemony” fragrance, which blinded Steven, and prevented him shaving his head

Save the rhinos”, protested Shannon Lizzie feeling the horn. Poachers approached her brandishing big weapons, with huge knives ready to attack the rhino. But who else but Roxy appears and as does Ronnie! Back from Ongar, Missy Elliot appeared to get her freak on and ''Belinda Belinda Belinda'' screamed Belinda as the rhino attacked them with great force. Roxy tried running away, but Ronnie pushed her towards her divorce papers which caused a mass debate between Archie and Peggy, Pam Shipman entered quickly into the debate, joined by the man, the myth, the sexiest man in Croydon, TiBB member Jøsh. Lies were told in the previous three words. Philip Schofield was in fact, Croydon’s sexiest man. That is truth.

Jøsh was sentenced to death for being a scrotum and crimes against support for Sir Fran Cosgrove. Gemma Collins rushed to sinitta’s deathbed, remembering Jøsh died, neither gave a ****. In other news, Sexy SherzyK gave money to the drug dealer he has been in contact with to murder a man called Shaz123, who has been impersonating Sherzy on tinder and twitter, and Chuff on the Facebook Group Rate My Plate. Josy ordered her to put out the fire Sarah Harding started in Chad Johnson’s shed to no avail. On the topic of sheds, Sarah discovered that she was living with Fred Sirieix. “Right!” said Right Said Fred and then cut up Dane Bowers penis off accidentally, which made Sarah take it and bat it away with Julia Michaels.

The cast of Coronation Street laughed uncontrollably at the Eastenders cast who were doing rehearsals, but failed due to Sharon’s HoH loss as it was rigged to fail and because those bastard guinea pigs won’t stop eating a vegetable that smells like jealousy and shame. Speaking of which, do you know Alf? No? Ok. Said a man who screamed WHEW! It was Moniqua who was tying Milja onto concrete wall using barbed pubes from Maradona that were like Lisa Loveday’s wig, which made Moniqua horny. Raph entered in Nicky's apartment. Nicky exploded his bag of skittles all over Raph’s BB audition tapes, resulting in Raph jumping off a cliff. Nicky followed suit until he realised it was 6pm and shat himself.

Homer Simpson landed in Leeds to seduce Nelly Furtado, but then Marge played on Broken Strings. Suddenly, James Morrison was alive, but was found dead, then alive again and then dead, then a little dead and even more alive than ever before, but then dead, but then alive, but then dead again. However, he was resurrected then subsequently found in the ditch outside Andy Warhol’s humungous ballsack. “Droopy ass balls” exclaimed Marge as she yelled upon sight of her husband’s flaccid yellow cock."D'oh!" Shouted Homer as a lobster befriended him unconditionally whilst eating his donut that he left unattended for a long time - so long that it was moldy as a moldy doughnut

Hello! It's me Adele and I stink of old booze and earring back. Adele proceeded to inject Amy Winehouse with Chasing Pavements, but she struggled as the needle was actually rusty and blunt, causing it to poison her blood. Suddenly, she cried; "I don't want HIV and AIDS", meanwhile an alive James Morrison suddenly died with pulmonary tuberculosis disease, RIP. Nicky91 snuck Victoria's corpse into Georgina's face. Jackson cried into the arms of Mitchell who keeps admiring SherzyK’s face. Unimpressed, Mitchell deliberately contracted a team of builders who have chlamydia to resurrect James and replace RileyH with Amber Davies. But they failed; RileyH was indestructible until he drowned and caught headlice, he shaved his hair like Britney, only tragic.

The Krankies started infecting poor Africans with Malique’s stinking rickets and osteomalacia Caroline Quentin said "who am I?" to a scared Ebola virus victim, Tulisa and Dappy who die horrendously after realising they’re the children of disgraced celebrity Myra Hindley and Maya Jama, who weaned them onto septic sewage, which made them look sexier than PRETTYMUCH anybody, but then again it’s a miracle that James Morrison was dead - otherwise he might have actually been alive. But he wasn’t. He died. But he didn’t as it was a lookalike. The real James was hidden inside Kate McCanns boot with Aldo Zilli, star of Celebrities Go...Batter Coleen Nolan Like A Battered Jumbo Sausage, we love cocks screeched Linda Nolan as she battered Coleen Nolan with Rebecca Adlington’s pre surgery nose, that she found next to Jim and Rebecca Jane’s wheelie bins, AKA LisaAppleton’s breasts. @LisaAppleton tweeted @BexBB9 to say “I want your brillo pads!” to which @BexBB9 retweeted ''they're mine” whilst sucking on Mohamed Mohamed’s big and long schlong