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TiBB On Ice 3 - Show One - First Impressions! JERSEY OUT
Hello and welcome to TiBB On Ice 3! It was only a week ago when you crowned Morgan and Perri your winners, but tonight 11 new couples skate for your votes, let’s meet them! Alf and Jorgie Porter Black Dagger and Laura Hamilton Cal Louise and Roxanne Pallett Danielle-X and Danniella Westbrook DrunkerThanMoses and Pamela Anderson Elliot and Gary Lucy JerseyWins and Corey Feldman Liam and Kerry Katona Montblanc and Richard Blackwood Tony Montana and Kem Cetinay Wojtek and Gemma Bissix Let’s start the show with Black Dagger and Laura Hamilton! |
Black Dagger and Laura Left My Heart In Tokyo by Mini Viva Ant 7 Riley 6.5 Morgan 2 Luke 3 Ross 7 Niamh 7 Total 32.5 Luke - This performance was all over the place, out of sync and the techniques were crap. Riley - Wow you really came to slay these bitches didn't you? That was sublime! It reminded me of that time I destroyed cock in Tokyo, they really stole my heart (and my virginity!) Next week I want you to top this, there's no going down now sweetie! Ross - Is this show ONE? Everyone else can just go home you just stole the show! https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e7/34...3e6a0587a2.jpg Let’s hope his scores get better! Up next hoping to do better is Cal Louise and Roxanne Pallett! |
Cal Louise and Roxanne Fight Song by Rachel Platten Ant 3 Riley 3.5 Morgan 5.5 Luke 6 Ross 3 Niamh 6.5 Total 28 Luke - Wonderful, stunning,never seen before and iconic! A great first performance and some technique Riley - Zzzz. Sorry did I fall asleep? No it's not from exhaustion having to be a fake bitch on TV, it was from this incredibly boring performance. If this was a save me skate, I would have got it, but I don't know why you are fighting in the first week? Just have fun and don't take it so seriously. Ant - The **** you fighting for? It's round ****ing one! Tryhard. This would be a poetic if not cliche choice at the end of the series when we had seen your journey and story and progression. Right now you've defined your "fight" with an inexperienced skate. It's first impressions week. And my impression is that you're desperate for the sympathy vote and have A LOT to learn. Submit a Britney Spears song next time you fraught bitch! Let’s hope the public vote Cal to fight in week 2! Hoping to do better is Wojtek and Gemma Bissix! |
Wojtek and Gemma You Spin Me around by Dead or Alive Ant 6 Riley 6.5 Morgan 8.5 Luke 4 Ross 7.5 Niamh 8 Total 40.5 Riley - I love a bit of disco, I think Pete would be proud! This competition needs to watch out, because here you come! Ant - don't know if I marked you higher or lower than I was intending to after seeing that failed headbanger! Save it for mid-series art the very least deary. Niamh - A classic, great performance Ross - Not a HEADBANGER in week one! We love the WINNER! The other judges are cancelled if they don’t score this highly https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...0qwHSCYvpFeN63 40.5 in week one for Wojtek! We love a dancing queen! Next up is DrunkerThanMoses with his professional Pamela Anderson! |
A 2? A ****ing 2. I've not been eating Chinese with Laura all week for a 2.
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DrunkerThanMoses and Pamela I’ll Be Ready by Sunblock Ant 2.5 Riley 5 Morgan 3 Luke 6 Ross 2.5 Niamh 7.5 Total 26.5 Morgan - If only they invented a version of sunblock to protect me from the most irritating, cheeses and cringey skates of TiBB on Ice. Riley - I was really worried for you darling at the beginning when I heard the song I thought it was going to be a DISASTER and to be honest, it kind of was, but I love the ambition in this fast paced number. Niamh - Great first song, bursting out like a life guard to save the day, excellent choice We love boxercise! Next up is Elliot and Gary Lucy! |
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poor cal got dragged
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Elliot and Gary Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen Ant 4.5 Riley 4.5 Morgan 4.5 Luke 5.5 Ross 6 Niamh 7 Total - 32 Ant - It was like a first date. I'm interested and intrigued, and would love to go for coffee. I'm just not sure if I wanna be clinging onto your bed sheets anytime soon. You've whetted my appetite, now wet my panties. Riley - This is what the person who performed Call Me Maybe was trying to achieve, kind of. It certainly was better than that, but really bitch this is a good song but where is Run Away With Me, Cut To The Feeling, Roses or Cry? Think BIGGER and stop shrinking into the background like Morgan's penis when he sent me that nude on Snapchat. Niamh - need to see a bit more expression next time but solid performance Ross - Nice but didn’t really stand out! https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...E_CIp7Z5AWnvfi Next up is the man who genuinely managed to make Ava Max appear before my eyes by sending me this song, it’s Montblanc and Richard Blackwood! |
Montblanc and Richard So Am I by Ava Max Ant 5.5 Riley 5.5 Morgan 7 Luke 4.5 Ross 2.5 Niamh 4 Total 29 Luke - this isn't sweet but psycho now is it? oh wait yes it is just another song that sounds like it but anywho it was a ok performance it was that fall that let you down. Morgan - Wow, I loved this routine to Sweet But Psycho So Am I, but skating forwards and backwards over and over again isn't going to cut it much longer! Riley - This was surprisingly good? I hadn't heard this before and expected a car crash, but you are actually really good? I would like to see less lifts next week and more skating! Thanks Mont! Next up hoping to beat her sister is Danielle-X and her partner Danniella Westbrook! |
Ross :oh:
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Danielle-X and Danniella Talking Body by Tove Love Ant 6.5 Riley 6 Morgan 6 Luke 4 Ross 5.5 Niamh 5 Total 33 Morgan - Well there was nothing wrong with the skate but if you think Live Sex on the rink is going to get a ten from me you can think again! Riley - I really loved this routine and you have displayed obvious skill, the connection between you and your partner is electric! But it kind of didn't really go anywhere? I'm looking for a MOMENT sweetie as well as an emotional connection Ant - Thank GOODNESS this show is being aired post watershed. I loved when your massive phallic knob was dragged along the cool ice but it'd have more panache if it was wearing a cute little ice skating boot Niamh - bit bland for me sorry. Danielle-X causing us to go after the watershed? Next up is one of our American friends, Jersey and Corey Feldman |
Jersey and Corey Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen Ant 7 Riley 4 Morgan 3 Luke 4 Ross 5.5 Niamh 6.5 Total 30 Luke - This performance didn't go anywhere, you were stumbled quite a lot and i felt you were really stiff during most parts! Morgan - Ross and Luke are gonna LAP this up so I've adjusted my score accordingly because this was rather annoying! Riley - I stan Carly but this was a mess. You literally just stood there and pulled a Britney with the hand movements and then when you DID skate you didn't let go of your partner. We need to see some conviction in your performance and you clearly need more confidence on the ice. Niamh - It was a good performance but a bit safe, need to see you take more risks next time Ross - LukeB is going to score this highly but I have higher standards so a 5.5 is the best you’ll get for this http://home.bt.com/images/karen-barb...0423164804.jpg Next up is Liam and Kerry Katona with one of my fav routines! |
Wow the judges were right these are all below average songs :devil:
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Liam and Kerry Katona I Hate This Part by Pussycat Dolls Ant 5.5 Riley 6.5 Morgan 4.5 Luke 5.5 Ross 6 Niamh 5.5 Total 33.5 Luke - A great first performance but I didn't see any chemistry between your partner and you were slightly out of sync but you should be proud of your first performance Riley - A cute routine to a great song by an iconic group! It also reflects my life as I hate the part when I have to be fake nice to Ross coming to the TiBB studio for Dancing on Ice. Anyway I hope this isn't the end for you like it was for our PCD member Jessica, whatever happened to her? Ant - Cute and position but has some negative undertones. Me teas. I can't award you any higher because I feel too attacked. Ross - Not Nicole finding her way onto the ice to overshadow Melody! https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...OefdsK7cvNFKFX Melody, Ashley, Nicole, Kimberly, Jessica & the other one would be proud! Next up is Tony Montana and Kem Cetinay! |
:oh: I hate this part deserved BETTER
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Tony and Kem I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith Ant 3.5 Riley 7.5 Morgan 8.5 Luke 5.5 Ross 4.5 Niamh 8.5 Total 38 Morgan - You're absolutely RIGHT - I didn't want to miss a thing! Next week I want to see less of you being flung through the air by your partner and more skating please! Riley - WOW! This has to be one of the best first week performances on TiBB On Ice, and my performance of Windmills Of Your Mind was something! I was nearly in tears. You and your partner have so much sexual chemistry Ant was pleasuring himself under the table thinking he was watching Pornhub on Ice. Ant - Zzzzzzzzzzzzz... oh sorry yeah I didn't wanna miss a thing but your performance was so boring I missed it all cuz I fell asleep yikes! Step it up next week. Finally, with a gay anthem, it’s Alf and Jorgie Porter! |
not our Alf skating to a gay anthem
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Alf and Jorgie Now I’m Following You by Madonna Ant 7 Riley 4.5 Morgan 5 Luke 2.5 Ross 3 Niamh 9 Total 31 Luke - You are simply just not experienced enough for this style of routine and the fall halfway through was a tragic disaster! Riley - This was a cute performance from what I assume is our token oldie? I was a bit worried you might slip and snap in half, but you are very brave to attempt to ice skate at your age. It was sweet, and this girl needed some sweetening up. Niamh - Love this, so much energy and zest, great job Ross - Imagine choosing a song from I’m Breathless that isn’t Vogue, GO HOME! https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011...73_468x356.jpg Cute! Let’s look at our leaderboard! |
Come on Alf
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Alf slayed
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I'll take that
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The guest judge was a Godess
Can we have her back |
1. Wojtek and Gemma - 40.5 2. Tony and Kem - 38 3. Liam and Kerry - 33.5 4. Danielle-X and Danniella - 33 5. Black Dagger and Laura - 32.5 6. Elliot and Gary - 32 7. Alf and Jorgie - 31 8. Jersey and Corey - 30 9. Mont and Richard - 29 10. Cal Louise and Roxanne - 28 11. DrunkerThanMoses and Pamela - 26.5 And the votes are now OPEN! To vote, PM me the 11 couples ranked from 11 (your favourite) to 1 (least favourite), the THREE couples with the least points when combined with the judges scores will face the skate off, where for one couple, they’ll join the first out club with Candice from Bake Off, Joe Mangel and erm... Pamela Anderson. Lines close at 6pm tomorrow night! |
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