[Shaun]

97th Place: Pearl (Season 7) - finished 3rd (officially "runner up" with Ginger but, I mean...)

I keep trying to convince myself that I'm not at all a hater and that all of my rankings and reasonings in this rankdown thus far have been largely justified but I suppose I have my biggest struggle with my conscience when it comes to "where do I put Pearl?"

Season seven had a very bad reputation despite giving us some of the show's strongest ever and most successful queens (Trixie, Katya, Kennedy, Ginger, Violet) let alone JASMINE MASTERS, and I definitely got wrapped in my "THIS SEASON SUCKS " bubble at the time. Since then, with repeated rewatches, the hate has fizzled... but my confusion at Pearl's trajectory on the show has not.

I know it's terribly reductive to say that Pearl only made the top three because the judges thought the fans would love her because #trade... but seriously, can anyone pinpoint a challenge she excelled at? Because off the top of my head...
- She TANKED the Shakesqueer challenge and didn't even land in the bottom two. "Cheerleader tryouts are happening today". What the ****? I can only imagine Kennedy got put with Jasmine because Jasmine's squat-thrusts to "I Was Gonna Cancel" would've KILLED Pearl.
- She was the dirt-worst dancer in the "half man/half woman" challenge that Trixie was sent home again for, but they decided to judge them as pairs; Pearl was thus saved by Kennedy's chops.
- SHE WORE A ****ING BLANKET FOR THE HELLO KITTY BALL AND FINISHED TOP TWO? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WITH A BLAND MADONNA SIDEKICK? I thought I'd buried this anger but I guess not.

There was, however, the make-over conjoined twins challenge to bring back Trixie... and really, who do you think won that for them, with the idea to make one of the twins a busted, braces-wearing geek? Pearl's other win came for an admittedly good DESPYS Awards presentation with Max; her impression of Ginger particularly stood out.

I remember posting on here that I genuinely didn't get the fuss about Trixie Mattel (because she was painfully unfunny on the show. Both times ) and I am actually one of the very few who actually thought Pearl won that lipsync... but of course it's probably the most contentious of all time (even though I would venture that "Peppermint beats Trinity Taylor" was FAR more questionable...) The fact that Pearl would go on to survive one more lipsync - a true contender for the worst of all time, against Miss Fame to Demi Lovato's "Really Don't Care" - was further bewildering. Of course, though, Pearl's cardinal sin was making the top three over Kennedy Mother****ing Davenport, and that is a case of the show buckling to the twatty fans' demands that I will never forgive.

Production riggor morris was something I'd never really considered until S7/AS2, and the constructed nature of her talking heads (most notably: someone "throwing a glass of water at Pearl to wake her up! lol!") was particularly absurd, too, and stank to high heaven of trying to give her an arc that nobody was interested in.

As I said - I'm being slightly unfair on Pearl here because her Snatch Game (as Big Ang, RIP) was pretty bloody good actually, and I do get the impression she's not as terminally dull as the edit suggests... but there were so, so many better queens than Pearl on this season that it's only fair I take it out on her by putting her below Sasha Belle.

Memorable quote(s): "Is there something on my face?"
Best Runway(s): 100% the Jetset Eleganza challenge. She has a lot of good ones but this was brilliant. I would understand if you made a case for the bearded queens look, though.
Best Moment(s): Sasha Belle saying she should go home on the first challenge <3