[Calderyon]

Save the rhinos”, protested Shannon Lizzie feeling the horn. Poachers approached her brandishing big weapons, with huge knives ready to attack the rhino. But who else but Roxy appears and as does Ronnie! Back from Ongar, Missy Elliot appeared to get her freak on and ''Belinda Belinda Belinda'' screamed Belinda as the rhino attacked them with great force. Roxy tried running away, but Ronnie pushed her towards her divorce papers which caused a mass debate between Archie and Peggy, Pam Shipman entered quickly into the debate, joined by the man, the myth, the sexiest man in Croydon, TiBB member Jøsh. Lies were told in the previous three words. Philip Schofield was in fact, Croydon’s sexiest man. That is truth.

Jøsh was sentenced to death for being a scrotum and crimes against support for Sir Fran Cosgrove. Gemma Collins rushed to sinitta’s deathbed, remembering Jøsh died, neither gave a ****. In other news, Sexy SherzyK gave money to the drug dealer he has been in contact with to murder a man called Shaz123, who has been impersonating Sherzy on tinder and twitter, and Chuff on the Facebook Group Rate My Plate. Josy ordered her to put out the fire Sarah Harding started in Chad Johnson’s shed to no avail. On the topic of sheds, Sarah discovered that she was living with Fred Sirieix. “Right!” said Right Said Fred and then cut up Dane Bowers penis off accidentally, which made Sarah take it and bat it away with Julia Michaels.

The cast of Coronation Street laughed uncontrollably at the Eastenders cast who were doing rehearsals, but failed due to Sharon