[Matthew.]

Harry Potter began to impregnate Moaning Myrtle brutally and contracted gonorrhoea. This turned on Tweedledum and Tweedledee and TweedleTWAT making it Tweedlesome. Ron queefed loudly in the direction of Shrek who ****ed Rylan, Speidi, Ryan, Claire, Razor simultaneously until he noticed that Fiona was punching Pinocchio, Donkey and Puss. Shrek pulled out his green willy, showering Nana Julie with Nolan sisters. Frank Carson’s dressing gown came undone, visually raping Linda Barkers redesigned kitchen. She screamed for Rachel Dolezal, who answered the call from Pennywise the dancing nun.

Gino D’acampo put pasta on Holly and Phillip. Holly's flaps said "Pasta aches us" whilst Phillip asked Dr Chris where Alison was. “She’s milking Lorraine”, said the doctor who milked himself In front of a terrified, howling Peggy Mitchell who was a guest loose woman. “Justice for Kim!” cried Aggie Mackenzie whilst breastfeeding Judge Rinder, Jeremy Kyle stereotyped chavs jumped in front of Eamonn’s collection of mushrooms, while a Gnome bitchslapped a gypsy, the governess and the beast ate toffee popcorn while the governess cried into her little Mix signed lunchbox, Tipping Point was losing viewers as a naked Julia Bradbury streaked across the drop zones. Ben Jardine searched for Roxanne’s career, but failed. Kim Woodburn laughed at Tulisa’s career whilst eating RileyH's head for breakfast, but threw it back up.

Victor Frankenstein scrambled to join Celebs Go Dating but was refused for having scurvy after enjoying a shag with Megan McKenna. “How dare he!” Her nipples tingled,as his guts gave way. Megan slapped him on the back