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Senior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 17,838
Favourites (more):
CBB17: Tiffany Pollard CBB16: Natasha Hamilton
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 17,838
Favourites (more):
CBB17: Tiffany Pollard CBB16: Natasha Hamilton
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Day 0
Day 1
Spoiler: Dear Diary,
June 24th 2019.
So it's my first day. First impressions are important! I dunno if the girls are ever gonna read this so I'll just say I like them all. Except Eve. Bitch is probably gonna kill me in my sleep, the PSYCHO! 
Love,
Fanny Spoiler:
Dear Diary,
June 30th 2019.
Okay maybe I overreacted… but I survived a double elimination! Too bad about Bambi though! She’s the only person I wouldn’t have minded losing to. Irregardless, there’s three more bitches I’ve got to take down. Debby’s a poser, Sabrina is a total caricature, and Eve is PSYCHO!!!! Luckily I’ve got the brains, brawn, and libido to go all the way to the top (well… bottom. Mitchell is A TOP!) I don’t need to worry about Eve – sure she might kill the competition literally, but I’ll kill it figuratively – so I don’t need to worry about having an ASBO around my ankle… not like I had one, anyway. But on that note, I do have the ableism AND race card (I’m an Indian amputee so….) so if Mitchell decides he doesn’t want me I can always destroy his career and image with false accusations. Note how I said destroy – not kill. Unlike Eve I’m not a psychotic BIATCH!!!
Love,
Fanny
Spoiler: Dear Diary,
July 1st 2019.
I believe I’m a good person – y’know, I think that there’s good in everyone – but here we are, semi-finals! And uh… I look around the women I’ve spent the past few days with and I ask myself – what happened?
Oh wait **** for this to work I can’t really include the girls singing out of place since this is MY diary… this task really is limiting my parody potential with Heathers the musical….
The other girls sang at me, “FREAK! SLUT! HANDICAPPED! BITCHFACE!”
We were so horny, sexy and naughty;
Kinky **** like getting tazed
The other girls sing, “FREAK! SLUT! HANDICAPPED!”
Butt cheeks clapping, napping and fapping,
Smoking doobies, getting baked!
The other girls called me a dyke and handicapped again… did I mention I have no legs….
I said sorry!
Then we got bigger;
Big Brother was a figure;
Grace is coming home! (???)
Welcome to my pad! This is no pad!
This is the Bachelor 
Hold your breath and count the days the winner’s being announced soon,
Summer will be paradise if I’m Mitchell’s spoon!
But I know I know I know, life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray, I pray, for a better way
If we changed back then, we could change again,
We can be beautiful….
Well actually all you bitches are ugly. I’m gorgeous.
Right so basically I dunno how to continue this reference. I could say the Heathers are Riley’s (I mean Eve and Sabrina!) but we’d need a third Riley, and this is all insinuating I’m Veronica Sawyer, an outcast turned popular (which is true but it’s not nice to be reminded of my dark past). Debby Ryan is a TOTAL MARTHA! Not a Heather Riley. Also I'm not Martha because it'd be offensive to put an amputee in a wheelchair. On the bright side, Mitchell is a total JD?
Right so basically me and Mitchell murder Sabrina and we kill two straight boys and call them gay (one of them would be Marsh) and Mitchell blows up… and I just sort of accept it, I guess.
Oh yeah so uh basically, diary, I’m going to murder people with the Bachelor for the next few weeks! And if the Bachelor doesn’t pick me, he’s certainly next out…
Love,
Fanny Precious Cooch
P.S.
RILEY, RILEY, RILEY, FANNY!
FANNY! FANNY! FANNY! FANNY!!!!!!
 pls appreciate her non-existent legs it took so long
Last edited by Ant.; 01-07-2019 at 12:28 AM.
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