[Shaun]

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

In 2007, Michael Bay directed a big-screen adaptation of the 80s classic TV show, and garnered success and praise from the audience and critics alike. Skip two years, and the sequel is being slammed.

But why? Well starting at the fact that it took less than a year to film the thing, let alone plot, write and direct, one could argue a certain air of rush to this sequel. But hey, with a fanbase and revenue as widespread as the first to come, who cares, right?

Well, the fans for a start. Plot details were left hair-thin, with something vague about a Fallen decepticon, and how he can only be killed by a 'Prime'. But the last Prime is dead! But he can be brought back to life with the Matrix of...something! Contrived to say the least.

Special effects-wise, there's little to fault. The opening sequence of Shanghai's road system being torn apart by a gigantic unicycle is breathtaking. But at other points, the graphics are a let down, often reminiscent of a Nintendo 64's calibre.

And what of the human elements of the film? Shia Labeouf is back as the dorky kid with embarrassing parents and is off to college. Cue a tirade from the clichéd hysterical mother, and the father being 'proud'. Their brief inclusion in the first film was welcomed, given the mother's tendency to be a screaming, irritating bint; then imagine my disdain and their more prominent roles in the sequel. The ditsy mother mistakes hash brownies for "environmentally-friendly cookies" on the college campus, and a few cheap laughs are drawn out of her resulting stoned-state.

Ridiculous enough for you yet? No? Well if that wasn't enough, check out the new robot additions to the Autobot family. 3 'female' motorcycles of bright colours are presented to the viewers in an almost sexual way, crudely depicting hologrammed-women riding them. However, the 2 'twin' bots, initially seen as an ice cream van before becoming two Smart cars, are the more controversial and, quite frankly shallow creations. Critics have lauded this addition, claiming them as a shallow and even racist stereotype. Whilst I find this to be a sensitive issue, the inclusion of toilet humour (one is seen to 'urinate' by letting out oil, another seemingly farts) does not help to build a sense of esteemed and cultured humour.

The biggest fault of the film, however, is undoubtedly the plot (or lack thereof). Farfetched and ridiculous ideas are dabbled in throughout, eventually culminating in Shia Labeouf's (near)death, where he encounters some divine figures known as the Primes, who then send him back to life to finish his mission. Now, given the nature of the film and its premise, a little stretched imagination is required, but the sheer "WTF"-itude of this twist is too much for even my inner nerd.

My two cents? It's not even worth that. Do not see it. Especially if you've seen the first and have a rose-tinted view of the whole franchise, because this does nothing but spread manure all over it.

Rating: 2/10.