I am seriously worried about Bert's state of mind now
I do not have a garden, or a shed. Infact as you will see from my website picture
I live in a tower block.
I believe the garden and shed are back where he used to live, with Ernie in New York State.
You say he has taken to the drink in a big way, well that confirms what they were saying at the YMCA in London, Bert was trying to drown his sorrows. When Bert lived with Ernie, I do not believe they drank much, so Bert may not have been used to it.
As for doing my dirty work I am afraid that could not be helped that weekend. The severe weather blocked off the routes south of York. It caused a severe crash and the 2 Sea King Helecopters sent in had to put down twice
We have tried to get in touch with Ernie but what ever religious group Ernie has got mixed up in, seems to be intercepting his calls. It seems there are a lot of "Brothers" living there at his house. It seems to sound familiar to a cult I got caught up with in the 1980's. Luckily I managed to extracate myself, but I would not like to talk about that here.
Anyway see if you can sober Bert up and let him know that he has left some property behind at the YMCA he was staying in prior to your excursion.
A Mr B Bird and a rather gruff sounding chap by the name of Oscar has been on the horn from the US to ask about Bert. It seems they are quite worried about him. Bert should have their number or e-mail address. Can you get Bert to contact them. They said something about trying to raise the airfare for Bert to fly back home to the US.