[Shaun]

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DEGENERATE WIGGERS

*The good mistress white comes out dressed as a particularly sluttish rendition of the popular childrens fantasy character. Behind her come the seven Canadian rap heroes decked out in various hockey jerseys. They take their turns rapping the verses and the ones who aren't rapping pretend to fondle each others balls in an incredibly secure display of heterosexual national pride*

In Canada we grow long beards
To shield us from the seasons
But also to tickle vulnerable young womens vaginas
Like mounting a moose in the cold

Down south they got the DEA
Up here we got the mounties
I smoke trees in the streets to applause and glee
And they say 'that's what I'm talking aboot'
Yeah

Eh, eh, that's what I say
That's what I say today
You're in Canada, it's all okay
Do what you want today

We give you gay weddings and BC bud
We give you all that free healthcare and beer to chug
And all we ask, eh, all we ask
Is that you forget we gave you Nickelback too

*A giant inflatable cock comes out on stage, it's head covered with a maple leaf. Mistress White get's on board.*

I know that doesn't strictly rhyme
But it's coming from the heart, from the roots
God froze this land and he made it mine
So it's acceptable for men to wear ugg boots

From Nova Scotia to the trailer park
From Vancouver to the skatepark
From the streets to the trees to the mountaintops
America's the face with the dick on top

Eh, eh, that's what I say
That's what I say today
You're in Canada, it's all okay
Do what the the frick you please

We give you violent ice sports and maple leaves
Rush, Helix and all their great CD's
And all we ask, eh, all we ask
Is that you forget we gave you Avril too

*The cock starts slowly spinning and is raised up on strings to the delight of the traditional gay heavy live crowd*

Your bones will shake, skin will freeze so much
That furious masturbation is a nessecity, so touch
All these other countries step back please
We got culture pissing out down our knees
That's how I can write a song about the country
And not make silly references to forums, please
Although I kind of just did that
So break the filter,
Grab a bowl, down a bottle grab a *****
And fuck that Canadian cunt

Eh, eh, that's what I say
That's what I say today
You're in Canada, it's all okay
You can do anything you want today

We gave you Nelly Furtado and Keanu Reeves
Woah, and all that stuff about Rush CD's
And all we ask is that you forget
Chris Benoit broke his sons neck in two

Peace out 2011, Globalvision, sing it up!

*Snow explodes out of the head of the levitated cock, blasting away the maple leaf and covering the delighted crowd. The gang make their way back behind the curtain to much applause and ass slapping.*