[HBB1508]

Originally Posted by optimisticcynic

Reformation and learning are the points of having experiences. Jim's ex-wife may never forgive what he has done, but I have no right to hate him on her behalf as though he beat me. The logic of punishing him eternally is flawed in that none of us are perfect and if raised differently, or having witnessed domestic violence and having become desensitised to it, taught different ideals or placed in different situations, we might be stunned at how our ethical boundaries shift. Jim is controlling himself whilst being constantly attacked. His saying he is not being his usual self may be linked to his own guilt and poor self-view due to past transgressions. That conviction that we are intrinsically evil is often the greatest motivator to effect change in our behaviour. I suspect there is a lot of displacement and projection here and Jim is taking the hatred for some posters' own experiences.