Shanessa Reilly (BB8)
Shanessa entered the Big Brother house at a ridiculously late stage of the game. Like, even Charley had gone by then, what’s the point. Shanessa (I almost wrote Charley then. Either I’m turning into Hayden or Shanessa’s just
that exciting to write about) entered with a hideous Scottish man witch, roughly thirty five glamour models and a man who ENJOYS TEDDY BEARS AND BISEXUAL SPANKINGS and still seemed like the oddball. Shanessa was Welsh, and not like the good Welsh, like Laura or Rachel Rice or Tom Jones. Shanessa was the bad Welsh, like The Valleys or occasional racism. Shanessa had tits. Shanessa rubbed said tits over Liam McGough on her first night. Shanessa had awful taste in men. Shanessa was part of the most Channel 5-ish non-Channel 5 twist the show’s ever seen, the Halfway House. Shanessa was as none-the-wiser as to what any of that meant as we were. Shanessa started in the Halfway House, then won entry into the main house by coming out of a box (as opposed to Liam who she wished was coming in her box), then was sent back to the Halfway House in a shocking twist known as “The Producers Ballsing Things Up”. Shanessa was evicted about as quickly as she entered. Shanessa would probably have been robbed had it been anybody else in her shoes (albeit not David either), but because she just wasn’t that good a housemate it didn’t really matter. Shanessa was a pale imitation of Kinga before her and didn’t even fill the role as well as Biannca many years later. Shanessa was just sort of there. Shanessa was somehow 26 years old.
I'm saving
Alison because I had to watch This Morning once.