In August new megastar had arrived to terrorise the EPL, a megastar so important we only need to use his first name, so important, we would witness an era better than Sir Alex. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Memphis Depay.
Agreed Memphis "New CR7" Depay, he was sold as the 2nd coming, so for various reasons:-
- huge transfer fee
- winning the 'Best Boy' Prize as best European young prospect at PSV but was crap when he played against st his ex team mates even prior to Luke Shaw's nasty leg break
- being Eredivisie's highest scorer and one of highest assists
- jetting into Man U on private jet and red carpet as if he was some huge galactico
- the self comparissons to Ronaldo and getting his own M7 branding usually reserved for the big stars
- the relentless hype he openly encouraged ahead of the transfer and demanded to immediately wear the so called iconic no7 shirt ( Ronaldo even had to wait to get this)
- boasting that he was the main football ambassador for Under Armour like Ronaldo is at Nike
- the notion that he was an improvement on "disappointment" of Di Maria
- the boasting of having the highest shirt sales after CR7, Messi and Rooney (yep more than Neymar)
- his one dimensional style of play: the fact that he predictably cuts in on the right, can't win a one on one and can't run and shoot
- the cocky bling "I am a don" style with gold teeth, shoe laces saying "I will score", and £250k Royles Royce which led us to believe Man U had some superstar in their midsts
- the bulking up his size as he said he wanted to "terrorise EPL defences like they've never been terrorised before"
- arrogant demeanour to ex team mate and Holland star Van Persie "big boys don't play for Fenerbahce"
- the embarrassing comparrison with LCFC Mahrez who cost £400K
- the Man U boast that he would dominate the left wing with bromance buddy Like Shaw, but when fit actually left back Shaw was more of a goalscoring threat in early season
- the promise of hooking up with ex-Dutch manager LVG would yield a great star
- the fact that Man U's best attacking threat Martial has to play out of position to accommodate Depay
- the cocky instagramm posts of Z-list celeb girlfriends as if he's a star
- the crappy defending that led to goals for Stoke FC and recently lazy goal attempt which led to goal for Sunderland FC
- his hats
But I don't want Depay to leave just yet, I find his deluded arrogance resulting in failure highly entertaining. I want Mourinho to arrive and drop him into U21. Gosh, how evil am I
