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10-05-2022, 04:50 PM | #1 | |||
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The voice of reason
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Shell Announces Plans To Plant Single Tree For Every Irreversible Planetary
Disaster It Causes LONDON—Describing the initiative as its most far-reaching contribution yet to the climate fight, multinational oil company Shell announced plans Tuesday to plant a single tree for every irreversible planet-wide disaster it causes. “We want to become part of the solution, and that’s why we’re proud to unveil our new One-for-One initiative, which will see us planting a single cedar tree for each deadly global catastrophe we’ve personally created,” said Shell CEO Ben van Beurden, admitting that the petroleum conglomerate’s 115-year history had been less than stellar and setting a clear timeline that would see a tree planted by 2030 to make amends for the first mass-casualty phenomenon the company had inflicted upon the world. “So far, it’s one tree total. But if we ever set into motion another cataclysmic process that kills millions of people and displaces many more, we’ll be right out there planting a second tree. Who knows? Maybe there’s even a third tree in the cards.” At press time, an external audit found that budget concerns had forced Shell to shift gears and instead plant a small shrub. https://www.shell.com/business-custo...-contacts.html https://www.theonion.com/shell-announces-plans-to-plant-single-tree-for-every-ir-1848861446 |
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10-05-2022, 04:53 PM | #2 | |||
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Senior Member
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Wait... please tell me I’m not the only one that finds that equally confusing, as ridiculous? I hope to god this is some sort of satire
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10-05-2022, 05:00 PM | #3 | |||
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self-oscillating
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that points to a contacts page
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10-05-2022, 05:18 PM | #4 | |||
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The voice of reason
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10-05-2022, 05:25 PM | #5 | |||
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This Witch doesn't burn
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Just the one tree.for each disaster ..surely it should be a whole forest i
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'put a bit of lippy on and run a brush through your hair, we are alcoholics, not savages' Last edited by Cherie; 10-05-2022 at 05:25 PM. |
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10-05-2022, 05:30 PM | #6 | |||
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The voice of reason
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