[Tom4784]

A nine-year-old boy has killed himself after enduring four days of homophobic bullying at school in Denver, Colorado, his mother says.

Leia Pierce told KDVR-TV that her son, Jamel Myles, revealed to her over the summer that he was gay.

She said Jamel wanted to go to school and tell his classmates because he was "proud" to be gay.

Denver Public Schools (DPS) say crisis counsellors have been made available to students at Jamel's elementary school.

The school system sent letters to families on Friday about the additional counselling services for students.

The letter, addressed to the families of Joe Shoemaker Elementary School pupils, says Jamel's death "is an unexpected loss for our school community" and offers parents signs of stress to watch for in their children.

DPS Spokesman Will Jones told the BBC on Monday that the district is "deeply committed to ensuring that all members of the school community are treated with dignity and respect, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or transgender status".

His statement added that administrators have taken steps "ensuring that our LGBTQ+ students can pursue their education with dignity".

Policies and practices, Mr Jones said, include anti-bullying programmes and "guidance materials that fully respect gender identity (including use of preferred pronouns and restrooms)".

Denver police are investigating the boy's death as a suicide.

Jamel's body was found at home on Thursday, Ms Pierce told local media.

He had begun attending fourth grade at the Joe Shoemaker Elementary School on Monday, she said.

"My son told my oldest daughter the kids at school told him to kill himself," Ms Pierce said.

"I'm just sad he didn't come to me. I'm so upset that he thought that was his option."

She said that when he had told her he was gay, he looked "so scared", but she reassured him she still loved him.

Ms Pierce said she hopes her son's death can raise awareness of the effects of bullying.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-45323933

A horrid situation that is all too common. The School has since released platitude laden PR statements to cover their own arses but it looks like nothing's going to change. So sick of seeing stories like this and nothing happening as a response to it. Most schools would rather brush bullying under the table rather than deal with it and that attitude costs lives.

[Glenn.]

Disgraceful

[Niamh.]

9 years old? That's terrible, so sad.

[RileyH]

Omg that's horrific So young

[ethanjames]

this is so horrible i hate people ugh

[Rufus]

People are sickening

[AnnieK]

Just awful, the poor boy thinking that was his only way out, his poor family not knowing how he was feeling. I hope the parents of his classmates are asking some very tough questions of their children.

[parmnion]

tragic story and one i worry about.


If kids start getting this sort of abuse on fb or twitter etc, it could lead to them harming themselves.......seemingly 1 in 4 teenagers self harm....which is really upsetting to hear.

[thesheriff443]

It’s all too common and schools are a breeding ground for it,

[Underscore]

RIP...

Schools are toxic for LGBT people and this issue needs addressing with full force.

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by parmnion

tragic story and one i worry about.


If kids start getting this sort of abuse on fb or twitter etc, it could lead to them harming themselves.......seemingly 1 in 4 teenagers self harm....which is really upsetting to hear.

Yup and a lot of the self harm/suicide stats get worse when you add in LGBT victims to the mix since suicide is basically an epidemic for LGBT people.

Despite this though, not much will change. A lot of schools don't want to be known as a place where bullying occurs so they often try to sweep it under the rug or pretend it doesn't happen. While schools place their image and reputation above their students' wellbeing, incidents like this will continue to happen.

[arista]

Yes its more tough in USA.
Sad story

[Cherie]

tragic, and yes self harming is much higher among kids who identify as gay or bi

[Greg!]

So heartbreaking. Makes me sick that people especially kids can be so horrible

[JoshBB]

Keep seeing this on twitter, it's so sad. I only hope this story can be a catalyst for change, and there is some kind of shift in behaviour, otherwise the death was for nothing.

[LeatherTrumpet]

If it did not happen in the school not sure what the school could do?

[arista]

Originally Posted by Greg!

So heartbreaking. Makes me sick that people especially kids can be so horrible

Colorado
more Hard
than California.

[Shaun]

I find it horrifying that a 9 year old could have the concept of suicide. Really depressing news.

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

A horrid situation that is all too common. The School has since released platitude laden PR statements to cover their own arses but it looks like nothing's going to change. So sick of seeing stories like this and nothing happening as a response to it. Most schools would rather brush bullying under the table rather than deal with it and that attitude costs lives.

Horrendous news. It broke my heart when I read about this.

However, I think it is far too simplistic to blame schools, particularly in a case like this in which constant homophobic attitudes and behaviours are the cause. This is a societal problem, and this is where change and action needs to be taken as a matter of urgency. Yes, of course and without a doubt, schools must play their part, but they cannot resolve deep-rooted issues in society; they basically deal with the fallout.

I think, too often, schools are unfairly blamed and too much is expected of them with very restricted funds, budgets and training. Schools (and teachers) are basically there to teach skills and subjects as outlined by the government on the national curriculum, the results of which they are judged. There is very little time made available for staff in the school day to do anything extra than that, and the first thing cut when budgets are slashed, is any time to work effectively with children who persist in bullying behaviour. And, often with bullies, schools do not get the support of their parents, and without that support the behaviour will be repeated. A detention or a couple of days exclusion will not change the mindset of a bully; in fact, many see an exclusion as some kind of reward as they get a few days off. What other powers do schools have in reality, especially when local authorities do not support any meaningful exclusions, and parents are allowed to appeal.

I think a greater amount of responsibility should fall on parents to prevent bullying behaviour in their children. The truth is, children come into schools with the ideas, attitudes and behaviour that they have learnt is acceptable at home, and they return to that same environment at the end of the day. It is only in the home that these issues can truly be tackled.

Parents need to bring up their children with a focus on good morals, respect for others, compassion, etc, and without prejudiced attitudes. And they must also ensure that they take effective measures to address any unkind, anti-social or bullying behaviour in their children, whether that be verbal, mental, emotional or physical. It is that and the wider society's views which will truly prevent bullying.

[Twosugars]

^ great post, Garfie

Idk what can be done. I mean kids will bully for whatever reason tbf, being gay just one of many. Remember in my class one guy was bullied for being ginger and another for being a Jehova's Witness, yet another for having a brother with mental health problems. Not to mention that any physical imperfection like crooked teeth or being fat were a big no-no.
Maybe some sort of anonymous reporting service for kids? Idk...

[UserSince2005]

9 year olds shouldnt be concerned about there sexuality at all.

What made him think he was gay? because he was told his was gay because he acted camp?

I think he should have just been a kid and not been encouraged to be obbessessed with his sexuality at such a young age.

such a sad story. 9 is far too young

[Moniqua]

Originally Posted by Underscore

RIP...

Schools are toxic for LGBT people and this issue needs addressing with full force.

x2

RIP </3

[Maru]

So horrible.

Somewhat hard to believe at 9 they (his family) didn't notice some sort of issue though... it's not like 9 year olds don't tend hide their feelings that well??... of course that could've also led to his bullying. It's not always just a matter of whether his students were homophobic or not... kids in our society will pick on and flesh out any weakness they can think of in other people as long as they can get away with it... it's a problem with society overall, but I don't think unique to the gay community... I was bullied badly growing up, sometimes over my color, but particularly my short stature... and I didn't consider it to be racism along the lines of outright hatred... it was more that I stood out and so it was easier to isolate me from the rest of the group and reinforce pecking order... of course, I was nerdy and tomboyish to a degree, so that didn't really help either ...

Smaller schools and smaller class sizes also help tremendously with this issue... I was in an Honors program when I was older and it eliminated most of my problem(s). Also group seating where everyone is forced to face each other in a circle... I never experienced much bullying in those programs. Those kids that did bully me, in high school apparently remembered, because I had a few people sign my yearbook as an apology... I think because I didn't really take it to heart so much I made a big deal of it and so a few of my bullies left apologies in my yearbook It's hilarious in retrospect...

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Shaun

I find it horrifying that a 9 year old could have the concept of suicide. Really depressing news.

Yeah, but ironically much of that is due to increased awareness on mental health and maybe the internet, how that magnifies virtually everything... when I was young, it wasn't so stigmatized... I think by early-teens, we started to hear about depression much more frequently, about the time the internet started to be more mainstream... interestingly enough..

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Garfie

Horrendous news. It broke my heart when I read about this.

However, I think it is far too simplistic to blame schools, particularly in a case like this in which constant homophobic attitudes and behaviours are the cause. This is a societal problem, and this is where change and action needs to be taken as a matter of urgency. Yes, of course and without a doubt, schools must play their part, but they cannot resolve deep-rooted issues in society; they basically deal with the fallout.

I think, too often, schools are unfairly blamed and too much is expected of them with very restricted funds, budgets and training. Schools (and teachers) are basically there to teach skills and subjects as outlined by the government on the national curriculum, the results of which they are judged. There is very little time made available for staff in the school day to do anything extra than that, and the first thing cut when budgets are slashed, is any time to work effectively with children who persist in bullying behaviour. And, often with bullies, schools do not get the support of their parents, and without that support the behaviour will be repeated. A detention or a couple of days exclusion will not change the mindset of a bully; in fact, many see an exclusion as some kind of reward as they get a few days off. What other powers do schools have in reality, especially when local authorities do not support any meaningful exclusions, and parents are allowed to appeal.

I think a greater amount of responsibility should fall on parents to prevent bullying behaviour in their children. The truth is, children come into schools with the ideas, attitudes and behaviour that they have learnt is acceptable at home, and they return to that same environment at the end of the day. It is only in the home that these issues can truly be tackled.

Parents need to bring up their children with a focus on good morals, respect for others, compassion, etc, and without prejudiced attitudes. And they must also ensure that they take effective measures to address any unkind, anti-social or bullying behaviour in their children, whether that be verbal, mental, emotional or physical. It is that and the wider society's views which will truly prevent bullying.

...great post, Garfie....I think the thing is as well though...that parents who do bring their children up with a focus on good morals..?...can still have a child who can act in a bullying way...I mean, perfectly loving and caring and attention giving parents etc...but it’s just that they can’t see the bully in their child..in fact it can go the other way in that they can feel that their child is the one who is being bullied and be hostile to the school for not addressing that, in the way in which they’re seeing it...because their child who is obviously their world, will never display that side in their presence ..and is nothing but charming and lovely etc...but yeah, it’s for parents and schools to work together but the parents do have to see the bully in their child for that to even begin and not perceive any other perspective of an incident other than the actuality it was, that can be hard for a school to persuade a parent who may only have perceived their child’s behaviour which would be totally opposite in nature...and some schools do have behaviour officers and school councillors which really do make a difference in the experience I’ve had in the past..but funding, always funding...many schools can’t afford such people in their staffing budgets...and also even with parents and schools working together with serious bullying issues..?...outside resources in social services will probably be needed as well....and cut backs have made it impossible to get that help and support, which may help to prevent these suicides...yeah all so very sad and in today’s world, a little hopeless as well..