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Old 10-07-2019, 07:40 PM #1
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Default The Amazing Drag Race (the gayest crossover event of the century)

because I'm not letting the Drag Race sub-forum go quiet during the off-season that easily.





The most ambitious crossover event of the century has arrived. Forget Drag Race UK. Forget Drag Race Canada. Forget Celebrity Drag Race and Drag Race Juniors and Drag Race on Ice and Drag Love Island (I swear I only made two of those up). This is the competition you've all been waiting for, ever since I realised the other day that RuPaul's Drag Race and The Amazing Race both have the word 'race' in the title.

Eleven pairs of men in wigs, racing around the world for a cash prize of one million dollars and a year's supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics. Sounds like something that would go off without a hitch, doesn't it? In case you're somehow dubious...

Here's how it'll work:

In a format I saw on another forum, liked and decided to steal, this will work as a boosting game. This means that at the start of each leg of the race, you will rank the teams in order of preference from first to last. For example:

Quote:
Leg 1
1st - Team A
2nd - Team B
3rd - Team C
4th - Team D
5th - Team E
6th - Team F
7th - Team G
8th - Team H
9th - Team I
10th - Team J
11th - Team K
I'll then use the results to determine the order that the teams finish each leg in. I'll do this by counting the votes for each placement (who got votes for first place, then second, and so and so forth), then running them through random.org to decide which team finishes where. For instance, if four people put Team A in first place like I did above, and one person puts Team F in first place, I'll put Team A into the randomiser four times and Team F once. This means that Team A have an 80% chance of placing first in this leg, but there's always a chance that Team F will get randomly picked instead. I'll then move on through the rest of the placements, voiding any votes for teams who've already been picked, until one team is left. This team will then be eliminated from the race/shot out of a cannon into the sun. As a result, I'm hoping that the game will be fairly unpredictable, as a team who gets a ton of first place votes could still come in last if they don't get many back-up votes further down the list. Once all of this has been decided for each leg, I’ll write some (hopefully) entertaining stuff to fill the gaps in between, such as which countries the teams travel to, which tasks they complete and which queens get kicked off which flights for being over the alcohol limit. Clear as mud? Good, let's move on!

The game itself will run much like a regular season of The Amazing Race. No worries if you're not familiar with how TAR works: Wikipedia has a pretty thorough rundown on the rules, but all you really need to know for this version is that eleven teams of two will be racing around the world from country to country, completing various types of tasks (the ones you'll be hearing about most are Detours and Roadblocks; the first is a choice between two tasks, the second is a task only one member of each team can complete) along the way. At the end of each leg is a Pit Stop, at which the team arriving in last place will be eliminated. Well, unless it's a predetermined non-elimination leg, in which case they’ll get to carry on racing. The team who finishes first in the final leg wins the race. It's hosted by a man named Phil who has a funny accent and is sort of hot if you're into that cool-church-minister-who-goes-hiking-on-Saturdays vibe. And, because I'm a bored gay, I thought it might be a laugh to imagine drag queens doing all of the above. The racing bit, I mean, not Phil.*

I'll be revealing the ten teams I've selected to run the race shortly, as well as the four teams vying to fill the final spot (which you get to choose, you lucky beggars). I'll also open a sweepstake if there's enough interest.

Until then, in the words of Phil Keoghan himself – let's go, lesbians, let’s go!


*when planning this, I didn’t give much thought as to whether the queens would be running the race in drag or not. I assume it’d be much more logistically convenient for them to run it out of drag, but if you’d rather picture Mimi Imfurst trying to hail a taxi on the streets of Dhaka in full mug and heels, be my guest!
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Old 10-07-2019, 07:40 PM #2
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Teams:



Alaska & Willam / Alyssa & Shangela / Bunny & Coco / Farrah & Valentina / Gia & Laganja

Jasmine & Kennedy / Jinkx & Dela / Mayhem & Morgan / Monét & Monique / Sasha & Shea




Wildcards:



Kelly & Tammie / Kim & Naomi / Nina & Shuga / Silky & A'keria

Placements:

1st -
2nd -
3rd -
4th -
5th -
6th -
7th - Sasha & Shea
8th - Farrah & Valentina
9th - Monét & Monique
10th - Gia & Laganja
11th - Alyssa & Shangela


Sweepstakes:

Alaska & Willam - Ammi
Alyssa & Shangela - Liam
Bunny & Coco -
Farrah & Valentina - RileyH
Gia & Laganja -
Jasmine & Kennedy - Shaun
Jinkx & Dela - Barry
Kelly & Tammie - Black Dagger
Mayhem & Morgan -
Monét & Monique -
Sasha & Shea -


______________________________________________
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Old 10-07-2019, 07:41 PM #3
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Race Route:




Leg 1: United States → Colombia
Leg 2: Colombia → Peru
Leg 3: Peru → Denmark
Leg 4: Denmark → San Marino
Leg 5: San Marino → Italy
Leg 6: Italy → Spain


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Old 10-07-2019, 07:47 PM #4
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ah wanna play
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Old 10-07-2019, 07:49 PM #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moniqua View Post
ah wanna play
If enough people are up for it I'll post more about what the sweepstakes will involve later Until then, the first interactive decision will be picking the 11th team, so stay tuned for that as well
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Old 10-07-2019, 07:49 PM #6
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Clue for Team #1: they host a podcast together
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:10 PM #7
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______________________________________________

Alaska Thunder**** 5000 & Willam

Very much the Martha Stewart and… well, Prison Martha Stewart of RuPaul’s Drag Race (you can probably guess which one is which), Alaska & Willam have managed to spin a media empire out of their collective two-and-a-half seasons on the show, despite their actual experiences of the competition being rather different (to say the least - the most recent episode of Race Chaser saw Willam trying to compare her parting quote from RuPaul with Alaska's, before Alaska not-smugly reminded her that she was never eliminated and so never got one). Between the two of them, they have amassed a total of eight studio albums, a podcast, an American Apparel ad campaign, a drag pageant and guest appearances on shows such as The Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelorette, Scared Famous and, yes, Boston Public with Loretta Devine. Will all of their media success translate to a strong run on The Amazing Race? I don’t bloody know. That’s why I’m making you lot decide. Showbiz!

Most likely to: actually fly into, or at least over, the state of Alaska.

Least likely to: travel to Alaska’s home planet of Glamtron (the CBS budget doesn’t stretch that far).
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:14 PM #8
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I love this
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:15 PM #9
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(this will make sense at some point in the future, promise)
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:16 PM #10
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Quote:
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I love this
lol ta
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:17 PM #11
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Clue for Team #2: they have competed on a total of five Drag Race seasons between them
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:19 PM #12
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...the game graphics though.....yes please...
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:21 PM #13
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...the game graphics though.....yes please...
I thought I'd put my Microsoft Paint skills to good use!
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:22 PM #14
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______________________________________________

Alyssa Edwards & Shangela

If Alaska & Willam are the Martha Stewart(s) of the Drag Race world, the Haus of Edwards must be the… the Kardashians? The Knowles-Carters? The Clintons? The point is, if this were The Amazing Race: Family Edition, the Edwardses would easily snatch first place. Sure, haus mother Alyssa may have let Shangela spread her wings and fly the nest (to the Oscars of all places) in recent months, shifting much of her attention to the fledgling Plastique Tiara in the process, but what’s The Amazing Race without an ‘estranged loved ones trying to reconnect with one another’ storyline? Plus, any excuse for Jenifer Lewis to make a cameo along the way is fine by me.

Most likely to: skip a leg of the race in order to attend an important awards ceremony.

Least likely to: have sugar daddies.
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:29 PM #15
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Clue for Team #3: they're non-Drag Race queens
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:35 PM #16
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______________________________________________

Lady Bunny & Coco Peru

I’m not saying that these two are old, but if I’ve got my gay history correct, Lady Bunny threw the first wig at Stonewall, as Coco stood by telling all the rioters that she remembers when the West Village used to be nothing but fields. Let’s hope TADR’s answer to Peggy & Claire can put their combined age to good use on the race, and prove to some of these young queens that, to quote Judge Judy, beauty fades, dumb is forever. Well, that, and I’m sure some of the airlines are bound to have AARP discounts, so they’ll always have something to fall back on.

Most likely to: have their wigs arrested at customs a la Pete Burns’ coat.

Least likely to: remember that they can’t just drive from one continent to another because Pangea broke up 200 million years ago.
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:44 PM #17
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Clue for Team #4: they both have over one million Instagram followers
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:50 PM #18
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______________________________________________

Farrah Moan & Valentina

The most Instagram-ready of our teams, and in that sense the anti-Bunny & Coco, Farrah & Valentina began their Drag Race careers as the best of frenemies (see: "you don’t love me" and "shut up Farrah Moan") and have up until now ended things on somewhat better terms, assuming Farrah doesn’t still hold a grudge against Valentina for beating her in a lip sync by pretending to be a cat. With one half of the team looking like Christina Aguilera circa 2002 and the other looking like Linda Evangelista circa 1990, can their youthful good looks propel them to the million dollars? Or will racing around the world simply not make sense with their fantasy?

Most likely to: refuse to check into a Pit Stop until they’ve applied their highlight.

Least likely to: be allowed on a flight without being accompanied by a parent or guardian.
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:51 PM #19
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I'm so bloody here for this.
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:53 PM #20
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I'm so bloody here for this.
<3
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:55 PM #21
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Clue for Team #5: they lip synced against each other during their original season
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Old 10-07-2019, 09:02 PM #22
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______________________________________________

Gia Gunn & Laganja Estranja

The more environmentally-conscious of you won’t have to worry about this team keeping to their green flying duty when Laganja’s around, that’s for certain. Those who do have cause for concern will be hotel and restaurant owners, who may find their no-smoking signs vanishing at a record speed and being used as couture headpieces instead. Meanwhile, having someone as artful in the trade of reality television as Gina Gum on the team probably won’t hurt their chances of making it far in the race, unless she spends so long yelling at Coco Peru about her old nose in an airport terminal that she and Laganja miss their flight. What privilege!

Most likely to: start an argument with Phil at the starting line (more of a Gia one, this one).

Least likely to: succeed at a task which involves identifying Nancy Pelosi out of a line-up (again... more a Gia thing).
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Old 10-07-2019, 09:07 PM #23
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Clue for Team #6: contains both a Drag Race runner-up and a Drag Race first boot, despite neither queen achieving these placements on their original season
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Old 10-07-2019, 09:15 PM #24
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______________________________________________

Jasmine Masters & Kennedy Davenport

While Jasmine is less in this race for the competition and the exhilarating sense of adventure it provides, and more as part of her global crusade to get weed legalised in every sovereign state on the planet, Kennedy is hungry for a win after coming so close in All Stars 3 (maybe she can chat to Shangela about that if they get stuck on the same flight. Start up a support group or something). With the added bonus of being the only queen in the race to actually share a name with an airport - or at least she will be until Laganja Estranja International Airport opens in Paramaribo next February - can the Dancing Diva of Texas strut her stuff all the way to a million dollars? And will Jasmine decide to clock off halfway through the race and force production to bring in a stunt double with a translucent bag over their head? Only time will tell!

Most likely to: have something to say.

Least likely to: not have anything to say.
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Old 10-07-2019, 09:22 PM #25
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Clue for Team #7: they're both based in the same city (hint: it’s not in California, New York, Texas, Florida or Illinois)
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