[Lauren]

I watched a fact-based drama last night on C4 called Forgiven. It was about a father who sexually assaulted his young daughter many times, and after years of this abuse she finally told her mother.

He was reported and spent a few months in jail before the mother decided that he should go into a paedophile rehabilitation centre. She was fully prepared to forgive him if and let him back in her home if he underwent a year in this centre. During the rehabilitation he was forced to roleplay and empathise with the feelings of his daughter, there were also family counselling sessions between the mother and father where he admitted whenever they had intercourse he imagined paedophilic fantasies.

After a year he was allowed back in the family home. He admitted he still had urges and feelings - but felt he could control them. She was criticised a lot for putting her daughter back in danger.

So, firstly - do you think the rehabilitation works? It states it does not cure the problem, but only serves to stifle it.
Do you think it was right of her to allow him back to live with her despite him still having sexual urges towards his daughter?
Should he be allowed out of jail so early despite a high rate of re-offending to occur? What did you think of the programme if you watched it?

[Lauren]

I'll give my opinion first.

After watching the programme I was a little shocked at the ease of the rehabilitation programme. He spent a year in a fully catered, nice-looking "hotel" kind of building, only a few times a week did he have to have counseling sessions etc. Also, whilst he was in the centre - he mixed with others who were in there for the same kind of crimes as he did - surely this would just provide a "network" of some kind, right?

Personally, I think the woman may have been subconsciously acting out of selfishness. She wanted her husband back, and didn't consider the damage it was doing to her daughter in the long run. I would've hated to think that that man now has access to his daughter - the thing he fantasises and relapses about.

Rehabilitation can work, but is it really worth the risk? It acknowledges that it doesn't cure the urge, but stifles it - surely this is too much of a risk to trust many with? The percentage of re-offence for such crimes is very high - despite rehabilitation. Would we really want to risk children to see if it works?

The man in the docu-drama was only in jail for a year or so before being allowed "back out" into the public. He'd already repeatedly abused her - what would now stop him doing it in the future?

[Sunny_01]

I think that putting your own child in a situation where you know they are at risk is just wrong. Rehabilitation helps them supress urges as does alcohol rehab but how many fall off the wagon!

I just couldnt do it, I could not allow a man back into my life that had abused my child. I can not believe that they have been allowed by the child protection teams to have him back in the family home! Has anyone considered how the child must feel?

[Ann]

oh no i didnt know it was on damn but i dont think he derserves to go back in his home because he could repeat it as they say if they do it once they will always do it

[Lauren]

Originally posted by Sunny_01
Has anyone considered how the child must feel?

The mother tried to justified her actions by suggesting that the daughter needed a father. This is true, but the daughter has never had a father, only a predator. Of course being so young she couldn't really say what she wanted - she was only around 4 or 5 when the abuse started and he tried to make her feel like it was a normal thing to happen - so she didn't understand why her father had been "locked up".

[~Kizwiz~]

As a mother, I would never let a man back into my house if he had abused any child, even if he was my husband.

Like Sunny said, where is the child protection??? Social Services???

I am gobsmacked to be fair

[Lauren]

Originally posted by kizwiz
where is the child protection??? Social Services???

My thoughts exactly! Apparently because he's "undergone" a years worth of rehabilitation the social services are left out of it, because in theory, he's "better" now.

[~Kizwiz~]

Originally posted by Lauren

My thoughts exactly! Apparently because he's "undergone" a years worth of rehabilitation the social services are left out of it, because in theory, he's "better" now.

Hmmm..... I dont buy that for one minute...... I am sorry but they should be in that childs life until she is much older.

[Sunny_01]

I would hope that social services are still heavily involved in this matter. The poor girl is at risk of always forming inappropriate relationships with men as she was led to believe that what was happening to her was normal.

I worry about the mother and her need to be with a man who has done this to her child, has she been brain washed by this man as well. I could no sooner think of having a sexual relationship with a man who admitted to having thoughts about children while having sex with me! How can that be normal for her to want to continue with this relationship

Now I know that at all costs social services like to work to keep families together, but surely this cant be felt to be right!

[Lauren]

Originally posted by Sunny_01
I could no sooner think of having a sexual relationship with a man who admitted to having thoughts about children while having sex with me!

Exactly. It seems to me that she's become so dependent on him that not only is she preparing to lose dignity to him, she's also readily prioritising him over her own daughter.

Also, with the social services thing - that issue did not arise within the docu-drama so I'm assuming that either they make yearly assessments so it didn't come up in the programme, or because he completed rehabilitation they see no need in continuing with it (very stupid move).

Furthermore, the neighbour of the woman in question also had issues with it as she has a daughter of her own and doesn't want to be living next door to him. The woman has lost all her friends over this - is it really worth it?!

[Captain.Remy]

There is a huge scandal in France now:
A paedophilia who came back from prison only for a week has kidnapped a little boy and has sexually agressed him. That's a scandal because all the politics don't want the rehabilitation anymore.
Now the France worries about it, could we let them out ?

[Lauren]

I agree with Remy, by rehabilitating them we're, in a sense, releasing them to the public and opening opportunities for them to reoffend. Yes, some do manage well in society - but do we want to take that risk?

[Captain.Remy]

It's a scandal ! Only after a week, this man has done the same thing. Fortunatly the government stopped all the TV shows and had shown an ad with the profile of the little boy and the old man. It worked very well, we found the boy 12 hours later.

[spacebandit]

Being put away for life where there are no children works.

I don't subscribe to the notion I have seen expressed in some places that we should chemically castrate these animals, and failing that some say we should medically castrate. As for the psychobabble claim of cures...its just that ... babble, it is akin to the christian fundamentalists who say they can "cure" homosexuality in special camps through interventions, it is utter bollocks

Peadophilia has a lot in common with rape, in that the sex act is not the be and end all, there is a psychological element at work within the peadophile / rapist, and instilling fear in the victim and control of the victim is a desire as driving to those people as the actual sex act itself.

A psychological "satisfaction" can be gained by the attacker even if the attacker is not fully able to perform a sex act, they do not need to achieve an erection to sexually assault their victim


No I do not think they can be "rehabilitated", they should be locked up until they die, let them choose between solitary confinement or general population.

[Sunny_01]

I agree with spacebandit, castration of any kind just wouldnt be the right way forward. It is rarely the actual sex act that drives these perverts it is the dominance over another person.

I agree that life in prison with no possible contact with children should be the only treatment for those who wish to steal the innocence of a child.

[sarahtheangel]

yes lauren did watch it , very realistic , my how that woman gave her hubby a secound chance, after the first time she found out . then after the mother new he did it again . then she gets the system involved , went to prison then after on to that rehab centre , to bascialy hear that your husband when making love to you was thinking of your daughter , is sick , and they are now back together 2 years on , the daughter wants her family to stay together cause in away she blames her self for telling and breaking the family up . she would have remained on the at risk register for a few years i would imagine . i would not have stayed with a man like that . i do think that there is no hope in rehab to be honest , the feelings will always be there . and can never be trusted around children again ever .

[Lauren]

I don't think the daughter actually wants him to be around, but at such a young age you can imagine how she'd blame herself as she was the one that told her mother about it. It's definitely not in her best interests for him to be around.

[J.C.]

I didn't see this program, but I am still trying to work out how on earth this man was only given a few months in prison.

I am also completely amazed that he was taken back into the family so soon as well. After the rehabilitation , the daughter may be safe but surely that means his focus will simply turn elsewhere.

There may be brain drugs in the future that can truely blank out this type of pedophile behaviour, but until that time they should be put away for a very long time.

Am I right to presume that this man was treated lightly just because it was his own daughter? I do understand the difficulties here for the young girl but it can't make the difference or it will just send out completely the wrong message to all other 'would be father pedophiles'

[Ruth]

I am gobsmacked by the actions of the mother in this case. There is no way I could allow anybody into my house if I thought there was a chance that they could hurt my child. The mother is being very selfish...she says that her daughter needs her father, but I think the daughter is better off without a father than with one who has hurt her in the past and may well hurt her again.

I don't think that paedophilia can be 'cured' - it is a state of mind. Even if a paedophile never physically hurts a child, he or she will always have those urges.

Castration, either chemical or medical is not the answer. It won't castrate what is in their mind, and would not necessarily prevent someone from hurting another child. They should be put away for life. That is the only way that they can be prevented from ever hurting another child.