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MB. · 21-02-2017, 08:47 PM

"Furk dese other bitches, henny" - Tish Simmonds, probably

Daniel-X · 21-02-2017, 08:54 PM

Abi and Joanne should've been final two, robbed legends.

Ugh I ADORE these. When will AS vs NS 2?

Mitchell · 25-02-2017, 09:54 AM

I am so pleased that Candace won the show.

Coming soon Channel 5's CBB vs TiBB's CBB. (if i cba tbh)

Shaun · 01-03-2017, 01:39 AM

How is this still on the air? Witchcraft.

CBB32. I think. It's been a long time. Long enough for the Cash Me Outside girl to finally become bankrupt and agree to do this. I tried to cast a lot of trashy, fighty women. I think I succeeded with Rustie Lee.
Cast List

Week One

[That's um. That's quite the opening, Adam R.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Rachel Stevens vs. Rustie Lee - a very believable outcome from this cast

No Nominations!: Julia Hartley-Brewer and Michelle from Judge Rinder!
Evicted: Rachel Stevens
[Sweet Dreams, my LA Ex

]

Week Two

[Slightly more believable events than week one.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Rustie Lee, Sam Buttery, Adam Richman and Paul Sinha
No Nominations!: Linda, Drita & Tracy!
Evicted: Adam Richman
[Man vs. Food vs. Impending Lawsuit from the Sinnerman]

Week Three

[YAAAAAAAS RUSTIE, GO OFF!!!!]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Martin Lewis vs. Paul Sinha
No Nominations!: Brooklyn, Rustie and Michelle! - apparently stabbing Julia Hartley-Brewer gets a pass
Evicted: Martin Lewis
[He might save you money but you'll end up with second degree burns.]

Week Four

[It's posts like these that make me understand why Ammi didn't stick around for long yesterday]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Paul Sinha, Derek Acorah, Sam Buttery and CashMeOutsideHowbowdah girl
No Nominations!: Drita, Neil, Brooklyn, Adam and Michelle!
Evicted: Sam Buttery
[We will have no interracial rimming on this show, thank you.]

Week Five

[Presumably gets a bad aura from them, idk]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Paul Sinha, Rustie Lee and Sada Vidoo
No Nominations!: Drita, Tracy and Michelle!
Evicted: Paul Sinha
[Was pretty sure he'd at least make the final on account of having been molested, but oh well]

Week Six

[I bet she found that a stretch, the stupid bitch.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Rustie Lee vs. Remy Ma
No Nominations!: Michelle!
Evicted: Remy Ma
[This seems like a fairly obvious result for a BBUK series. Just upset Remy didn't bring the drama.]

Week Seven

[Adam sure loves his rimming. I didn't even set that event to just be between two males.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Sada Vidoo vs. Julia Hartley-Brewer - KNOCK THAT VIOLENT RACIST BITCH OUT, SADA

No Nominations!: Michelle and Joseline!
Evicted: Julia Hartley-Brewer!
[Thank you, Brantsteele]

Week Eight

[I have my doubts about that second event, given that a) they're both American, b) she's too busy fighting and c) he was most likely in a coma at the time]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Sada Vidoo, Rustie Lee, Drita D'Avanzo, Danielle Whatever and Adam Thomas
No Nominations!: Michelle and Brooklyn!
Evicted: Drita D'Avanzo!
[I can't say I'm too fussed about this considering she did **** all]

Week Nine

[Nice of Sada to join in the "Tracy and Joseline" show]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Sada Vidoo vs. Derek Acorah
No Nominations!: Michelle and Brooklyn!
Evicted: Sada Vidoo!
[Again, no real loss despite what the Eurovision thread fags will say]

Week Ten

[YES MICHELLE. SCALP IT.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Derek Acorah, Rustie Lee, Danielle Whatever, Linda Barker and Beenie Man!
No Nominations!: Michelle and Adam!
Evicted: Rustie Lee!
[I erm...how?!]

Week Eleven

[OK so they made up quickly. And Michelle is rapidly becoming the best CBB Housemate since Su Pollard.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Derek Acorah, Linda Barker, CashMeOutsideGirl and Adam Thomas
No Nominations!: Michelle and Brooklyn!
Evicted: Adam Thomas!
[That's a bit better. In this timeline Brooklyn is old enough to be considered the eyecandy now anyway.]

Week Twelve

[I'm happy now that after a violent first four or five weeks, we're at the point of the series where housemates smoke weed, play VR games, and read Leo Tolstoy.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Beenie Man vs. Joseline Hernandez
No Nominations!: Michelle and Brooklyn!
Evicted: Beenie Man!
[Not the two rimmers going one after the other.]

Week Thirteen

[Like I said last week, this is a very hippy house. Kathreya could neva!]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Tracy Morgan vs. Derek Acorah vs. Joseline Hernandez
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Derek Acorah!
[This game really does not want psychics to win

]

Week Fourteen

[She started off a bit rubbish but Linda Barker has really come into her element in this series.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Linda Barker vs. Joseline Hernandez
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Joseline!
[Yeah if you think you can nominate Michelle Hassan you can get ****ing gone, love]

Week Fifteen

[Quite the mental image.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Linda Barker, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Michelle Hassan and Brooklyn Beckham
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Brooklyn!
[About time, really, you bloody no-mark]

Week Sixteen

[That's an awfully long time spent writing 'Coleen Nolan' and 'Cashmeoutside Girl'.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Linda Barker, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Danielle Bregoli and Tracy Morgan
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Danielle!
[I'm pretty much loving the idea of a violent thug making it all the way to top five at all, tbh]

Week Seventeen

[The two gals playing very UTR in the final week. Will the strategy pay off?!?!?!?]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: All four of them lol
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Neil!
[OK this is an excellent top three]

Finale

OMG my two girlies!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS <3

Series Popularity

[The launch night popularity seems relatively realistic to what I would expect. The end is... not quite?]
[A far less popular final three this time, so Michelle's win was guaranteed.]
[The most popular event was, as pictured, Beenie Man - a combination of getting rimmed by Adam Thomas and being on the receiving end of Julia Hartley-Brewer's bile. 24pts were gained.]
[The least popular event was Martin Lewis setting fire to Rustie Lee's face, which understandably cost him 18 points.]

Statistics
Most Nominations: Danielle Bregoli (37), Derek Acorah (36), Linda Barker (34)
Fewest Nominations: Ignoring the first three evictees... Drita D'Avanzo (7), Michelle Hassan (10)
Most Evictions Survived: Linda Barker (6), Rustie Lee (5)
Never Up for Eviction: n/a
Highest Eviction Percentage: 91% for Joseline Hernandez vs. Linda Barker
Highest Eviction Percentage (Multiple Nominees): 59% for Adam Thomas vs. 3 others
Lowest Eviction Percentage: 53% for Remy Ma vs. Rustie Lee
Lowest Eviction Percentage (Multiple Nominees): 23% for Rustie Lee vs. 4 others

Fetch The Bolt Cutters · 01-03-2017, 01:44 AM

meesh

Braden · 01-03-2017, 02:07 AM

Here for Michelle refusing to go back to work due to her new found popularity <3

Shaun · 01-03-2017, 02:40 AM

I'm just really happy that there was a consistent, charming period of four solid weeks (11-15) where the house turned into a drug-fueled chill zone and real friendships blossomed. It was surely wonderful.

Shaun · 01-03-2017, 02:28 PM

(i'm not sure how i've cast 'judge rinder's sidekick' before 'judge rinder' either)

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 03:14 PM

Michelle and Linda Barker becoming the best final two of all time? If only Queen Rustie Lee had of made the final three with them.

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 05:32 PM

A new series has actually been completed by me, take the cold from the snow and tell the wind don't blow.

Shaun · 01-03-2017, 05:43 PM

Stop blowing, wind!

MB. · 01-03-2017, 05:53 PM

If none of these cast Hi My Name's Catrina at any point then I'll be bitterly disappointed

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 05:59 PM

CBB33, after CBB32 and the award winning final two, Channel 5 got enough money to perfect time travel, they travelled back to 1984 and into a pink windmill, unfortunately Spencer has been snubbed due to him not returning to the 2017 reunion (****ing bastard), but the other 9, plus two additions to the cast are back and competing in a reality tv show, you try stopping the music, because nobody can stop the music.

(and if you don't know who any of these are, please go and educate yourself before proceeding)

Week One

Slay a bit Abbie

Nominated - Lorraine and Old Lady
No nominations - Abbie
Evicted - Lorraine

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Week two

and my name is Geoffrey doesn't really work, C5 are really hating Hugh

Nominated - Hugh and Sarah
No nominations - Nobody
Evicted - Hugh

Teach him to lie about his name

Week three

I'm disappointed in you Fay.

Nominated - Catrina and Abbie (oh dear god)
No nominations - Joe and Sarah
Evicted - Catrina

Losing the star in week 3...

Week four

Rod Hull comes back from the dead, but most of the UK misses it as Arg from TOWIE is making a cameo on OAP Love Island.

Nominated - The entire house other than Jealous Bitch
No nominations - Jealous bitch (who cares about your titanic accusations)
Evicted - Joe

The second best of the actual kids gone

Week five

Not Sarah and Emmagate again...

Nominated - Emma and Debbie
No nominations - Nobody
Evicted - Emma

Meh

Week Six

Old lady and Jealous Bitch is the friendship we all need in our lives and lets not even try to deny it. Oh and can Anthony stop this madness

Nominated - Anthony, Debbie, Sarah, Old Lady and Abbie
No nominations - Nobody
Evicted - Sarah

Ok good, maybe people will stop mixing up Sarah and Emma

Week Seven

Old Lady going to Lanzarote having the holiday she deserves

Nominated - Abbie, Debbie, Old Lady and Anthony
No nominations - Nobody
Evicted - Anthony

YESSSS AMAZE FINAL 4 <3

Week Eight

Not Debbie doing a Jemima's child

Nominated - Old Lady, Debbie and Abbie
No nominations - Nobody
Evicted - Old Lady

The true winner eliminated

Finale

Third place - Jealous bitch - 17.55%

Third place queen club?

Winner - Abbie - 42.56%
Second place Debbie - 39.91%

So there we go, a pretty good series, minus Catrina being robbed in Week 3 and Abbie beating Long thumb Debbie and the two iconic audience members.

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MB.

If none of these cast Hi My Name's Catrina at any point then I'll be bitterly disappointed

Impatient peasant

MB. · 01-03-2017, 06:03 PM

Well that was a well-timed request

Braden · 01-03-2017, 06:03 PM

I still cackle at the second event during this week:

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MB.

Well that was a well-timed request

Derek Acorah who?

Shaun · 01-03-2017, 06:22 PM

I'm not giving that the time of day after shading 212 in the first event

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaun

I'm not giving that the time of day after shading 212 in the first event

I would've thought we would've lost riff raff like you when we moved to BBC Four

Shaun · 01-03-2017, 06:34 PM

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 06:37 PM

All cos I got Alice Barry first

Shaun · 01-03-2017, 06:39 PM

And she turned out to be a homophobe to poor David Blunkett! Beat it queen!

~~Although there are some claiming she only said it out of shock from Rylan's taser gun~~

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaun

And she turned out to be a homophobe to poor David Blunkett! Beat it queen!

~~Although there are some claiming she only said it out of shock from Rylan's taser gun~~

She was driven to that by having to appear in your low rent series

Braden · 01-03-2017, 06:47 PM

Bitch, All-Stars was not low mother****ing rent.

No series that Iris Apfel wins is a low-rent series, instead a rich and satisfying one *tears off Mitchell's wig*

Mitchell · 01-03-2017, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Braden

Bitch, All-Stars was not low mother****ing rent.

No series that Iris Apfel wins is a low-rent series, instead a rich and satisfying one *tears off Mitchell's wig*

This rivalry is flawless tbh

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