[parmnion]

Cheeky little buggers round here! A young lad just knocked my door and said, "Trick or Treat?" I said, “it's not Halloween yet, and what have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "but you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes." He said, "Well it's not a full moon yet is it dickhead."

[parmnion]

The mrs wanted to play drs and nurses ...so i put her on a trolley and ignored her for 2 days ..

[parmnion]

Just been told my girlfriends pregnant ...my mate said has anything changed ...I said my address and phone number and my hairstyle

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by parmnion

The mrs wanted to play drs and nurses ...so i put her on a trolley and ignored her for 2 days ..

Keep them coming parmy,lol

[parmnion]

Just watch trump unite the world...mark my words...

[parmnion]

You try and be nice by complementing someone on the effort they've made for Movember, and suddenly shes not your friend anymore?!? WTF??

[parmnion]

i wonder if corbyn is happy with the arrest of the ex British soldier today for the events on bloody Sunday in 1972. not as happy as seeing his 2 pals Adams and miguiness sauntering about Scot free i assume!

[parmnion]

Jeremy spunky sock guscott. Please shut up, you're a disgrace.

[parmnion]

Hamilton off, hopefully he never ever comes back on ever again.

[parmnion]

Tv licence! That's for your tv, right? Would it no be possible to make something that has all the gubbins a tv has but just call it a bob or something!

[parmnion]

Toiletries.must remember toiletries.

[parmnion]

Bracing myself for all the pathetic gushing at the new john lewis xmas advert.

[parmnion]

Wow, Alice Cooper in the jungle.......oh wait, it's Fatima Whitbread.

[parmnion]

What kind of eejit buys a book for their kindle when they already have it in paperback! What's that aw aboot?

[Nicky91]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Wow, Alice Cooper in the jungle.......oh wait, it's Fatima Whitbread.

yes i can see the resemblance between Alice and Fatima as well

[parmnion]

So you're sitting there in 1443 in the pitch black at night ...looking up at a huge full moon cause there's nothing on the candle in this wind..aw surprised at finding out the world is round...aye ok columbus...you proved us aw wrong, we thought it was flat after years of staring at that round thing up there.

[parmnion]

The tape of the actual 911 call made by Michael Jacksons doctor has just been released. Dr Murray says, "I need help Michael's collapsed". Operator says, "Have you started CPR?". Dr Murray says, "no!". Operator says, "have you started a defibrillator?". Again the doctor says, "No!".

Operator says, "well you wanna be starting something, you got to be starting something!"

[parmnion]

Wish I could drag a body out a boot and bury it in 6ft of earth then run home all in the space of 10 mins, oh and also do it all outside the busiest square in the eastend....Pile o pish so it is.

[parmnion]

Mystery of the day: why does the woman who posts she's having something to eat at least 8 times a day, in every status, never post a picture?

[Livia]

Originally Posted by parmnion

The tape of the actual 911 call made by Michael Jacksons doctor has just been released. Dr Murray says, "I need help Michael's collapsed". Operator says, "Have you started CPR?". Dr Murray says, "no!". Operator says, "have you started a defibrillator?". Again the doctor says, "No!".

Operator says, "well you wanna be starting something, you got to be starting something!"

LOL... Still lovin' your work.

[parmnion]

Originally Posted by Livia

LOL... Still lovin' your work.

can't even be bothered to make a facebook status today!!

[parmnion]

A teacher says to her class, "can anyone give me a sentence with the word dandelion in it".

A little Ugandan lad puts up his hand. "Yes Patrick" says the teacher...

A grinning Patrick says "Da cheetah is faster dandelion miss".

[parmnion]

Difficult week at work this week, tracey from accounts reported a fellow work colleugue on monday for saying her hair smelled nice on three different days last week..i had to tell her there was nothing wrong with him saying that...unfortunatly the guy ****ed up a massive contract so i had to let him go on wednesday....im gonna miss midget mike, he was a good worker.

[parmnion]

I dont like the term anal bleaching, i much prefer changing your ringtone

[parmnion]

Quick tip...do not laugh at your girlfriend if she puts her hand in something gooey whilst changing her son's bed!