[Natalie.]

I feel sad for these girls, there's some people out there just waiting to write disgusting, hateful comments about anyone they can on youtube and other sites. As a teenage girl you just want to know you're pretty and want attention from boys, well that's what I wanted sometimes. I don't understand how you can be mean about someones looks especially a child, but that's trolls for you I guess

It's everywhere to be looking your best for young girls and boys, it's hard

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Salman!

what is this BS you're on about now. that isn't true at all, most people are far too harsh on themselves. loads of these people who upload videos to youtube aren't ugly at all

I agree with you Salman although Alex lives in the States so his perception could be different on a cultural basis.

Here in the U.K it's pretty much in our nature to be desolate about ourselves. I can count on one hand the people I have known who actually believe they are better looking than they are but those who Dont are just innumerable. Personally I believe people are very very harsh on their own appearance. I've never been to America so I can't speak for over there.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I get what you're saying here but it's exactly why I think its important to NOT outright ban watching anything, but instead, to be a present and active influence providing context and commentary and discussing these things as they arise. The thing is, a lot if parents don't say WHY they're saying no. It's just "no". And then when their kids inevitably encounter these things anyway, away from their parents, it's without that valuable opportunity to discuss it and learn.

I had this debate with someone recently, who was adamant that advertising should be kept away from children at all costs. I argued that, if you do that, they will be naive and unaware when they encounter advertising as an adult. Its important that they DO see advertising, and that their first experiences of it involve discussion, because the only way to be immune to advertising (and any other subliminal messaging, such as the vanity issue of this thread) is to be completely aware of it and have the ability to view it critically.

..I agree with you, I think in general 'taboo' isn't a good thing..it's not something I've ever done anyway...it's more explaining, that if they do this, whatever it is...these are the dangers/consequences etc and that, that would make them very unhappy as well as making you as a parent unhappy etc...and in the case of watching something which may have an 'anti hero', if it's your decision to let them watch it, then watch it with them and explain things if you have to so they 'get it'...most young people do get it anyway, with TV programmes, I mean...

[smeagol]

sounds pointless to me. people look different in videos and pics than real life anyway.
id rather a girl not know shes pretty or think shes not than a girl who knows it they are the worst kind.

funny if you ask people on the net am i ugly always someone would say yes lol bad idear really as people remember insults more than compliments.
its sad girls dont value there attractive qualities. its rare for someone to be truely ugly, yet most dont think they are much. which is sad.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Salman!

what is this BS you're on about now. that isn't true at all, most people are far too harsh on themselves. loads of these people who upload videos to youtube aren't ugly at all

sorry but i disagree. If they are uploading videos of themselves asking for feedback on how they look it's clearly because they expect to hear good things, they think they look good, and they want compliments. then they get butt hurt when people tell them the truth. They are delusional people that really think people are going to fawn all over them.

If you really thought you were ugly, you wouldn't post a video of your ugly ass self asking for people to tell you how ugly you are. CLEARLY most of these girls expect to be told how pretty they are. They are delusional.

[Kizzy]

Teens are teens and it's normal for them to want to take the opinion of some stranger over their parent, I could tell my daughter she was beautiful till I was blue in the face and it didn't matter as I was bias.
I'm surprised at this trend though as most I would have thought that teens would die of embarrassment, being on camera asking something like this.
Athough the confidence is there to do it do they have the maturity to deal with the negative comments? Most likely not.
One thing this does show is the different responses to different images, which gives an insight into how girls are inflluenced into looking a certain way.
I dislike terms like milf or yummy mummy, if a woman looks attractive, dresses well and happens to have school age children why must she have this silly rather sexist label?
It would be wonderful to be able to be the only ones to influence your children, to restrict their associations and have them grow up totally confident and self assured, however due to youth culture/peer pressure/media/advertising this is made almost impossible.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

sorry but i disagree. If they are uploading videos of themselves asking for feedback on how they look it's clearly because they expect to hear good things, they think they look good, and they want compliments. then they get butt hurt when people tell them the truth. They are delusional people that really think people are going to fawn all over them.

If you really thought you were ugly, you wouldn't post a video of your ugly ass self asking for people to tell you how ugly you are. CLEARLY most of these girls expect to be told how pretty they are. They are delusional.

..Alex, some of them are 9yr old girls, they don't want people to 'fawn' over them..they have been told by peers that they're pretty or ugly and they're asking others' opinions but those of stranger on the internet, which is rife with trolls...some of those girls and quite a lot, I think..do believe that they're ugly or at least that's what they have been 'told' by friends'peers....

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..Alex, some of them are 9yr old girls, they don't want people to 'fawn' over them..they have been told by peers that they're pretty or ugly and they're asking others' opinions but those of stranger on the internet, which is rife with trolls...some of those girls and quite a lot, I think..do believe that they're ugly or at least that's what they have been 'told' by friends'peers....

And all it takes is one cretin to go "wow Pinocchio what a big nose you have" or "are you trying to contact aliens with those radar dish ears Lolz #fugly" and that can be a girls self esteem dented for most of her life.

At that age reaching adolescence these girls have ego's and a self esteem that is extremely malleable and some muppet who wants to make his life seem worthwhile can ruin that grossly.

[Natalie.]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

And all it takes is one cretin to go "wow Pinocchio what a big nose you have" or "are you trying to contact aliens with those radar dish ears Lolz #fugly" and that can be a girls self esteem dented for most of her life.

At that age reaching adolescence these girls have ego's and a self esteem that is extremely malleable and some muppet who wants to make his life seem worthwhile can ruin that grossly.

Yep it's true, one comment will stick with you for a long long time.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Morrissey

Yep it's true, one comment will stick with you for a long long time.

Exactly. If I asked people to give me examples of people making comment on their appearance I think most would almost recite the negative ones instantly and clearly while the positive ones would be harder to recollect or even forgotten completely.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

And all it takes is one cretin to go "wow Pinocchio what a big nose you have" or "are you trying to contact aliens with those radar dish ears Lolz #fugly" and that can be a girls self esteem dented for most of her life.

At that age reaching adolescence these girls have ego's and a self esteem that is extremely malleable and some muppet who wants to make his life seem worthwhile can ruin that grossly.

Totally agree, what starts out as maybe a girl looking for some kind of reassurance or positive reinforcement is in for a shock.
If it's an area they were already sensitive about it could stay with them for years subconsciously.

[Natalie.]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

Exactly. If I asked people to give me examples of people making comment on their appearance I think most would almost recite the negative ones instantly and clearly while the positive ones would be harder to recollect or even forgotten completely.

Yeah, it's easy to remember the bad things because they sometimes already think bad of themselves anyway.

[lostalex]

once again, it's all parents. why does a 9 y/o have a webcam and a youtube account? I don't think 9 y/o's are even allowed to have youtube accounts according to youtube's own rules.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Morrissey

Yeah, it's easy to remember the bad things because they sometimes already think bad of themselves anyway.

Yeh true that. I think there's some psychology behind it too, my therapist said that humans remember things that are negative more as a self defence to protect them from getting in that situation again and hurting themselves. Now if a person is very concerned about their appearance then that negative situation that is created from a comment can have the same effect. The brain sees it as damaging and remembers it because it thinks it might need it in the future. Something like that anyway I might have said It wrong lol

[x-evenstar-x]

I think these kids want reassurance, they want people to tell them they are beautiful and all the rest of it. I believe I'm very unattractive and I would never dream of doing that I couldn't even post a picture of myself, so I get what people mean about If they truly thought that about them selves why would they do it, I don't think it's about letting the world know they think they are ugly or what ever but that they want someone to tell them they are pretty. I've not actually watched the videos, I'm going to watch it now but that's what I'm guessing.

[Natalie.]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

Yeh true that. I think there's some psychology behind it too, my therapist said that humans remember things that are negative more as a self defence to protect them from getting in that situation again and hurting themselves. Now if a person is very concerned about their appearance then that negative situation that is created from a comment can have the same effect. The brain sees it as damaging and remembers it because it thinks it might need it in the future. Something like that anyway I might have said It wrong lol

You're right I think, it does make sense. Amazing really

[Niall]

Kind of depressing to see girls devalue themselves down to their looks and societal perception of their looks. Just goes to show that a hell of a lot still needs to be done in terms of gender equality, really.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

Yeh true that. I think there's some psychology behind it too, my therapist said that humans remember things that are negative more as a self defence to protect them from getting in that situation again and hurting themselves. Now if a person is very concerned about their appearance then that negative situation that is created from a comment can have the same effect. The brain sees it as damaging and remembers it because it thinks it might need it in the future. Something like that anyway I might have said It wrong lol

...yeah, our conscious minds don't remember everything and especially things that happened in childhood, but obviously some people have just generally better memories for specifics than others...but our sub-conscious mind has a 'photographic memory'...but it's hard for the two to communicate with each other, and for lots of people, very rarely do...but what we do 'remember' is emotions/feelings..and feelings of pain etc are far stronger than 'happy' emotions, so for instance, and I mean in an extreme case...say a 9yr old was told they were ugly and then had particularly harsh things said to them by internet trolls..?...they may not be of an age where they fully understand exactly the terminology of those things and how cruel they are but they would understand that they were extremely negative and confirming their fears of being 'ugly'...so for maybe all of their life or a large part of it, what they themselves could see in the mirror is an 'ugly person'...and they could be the most 'beautiful' person in the world but they would only see 'ugly'...if that makes sense lol...it doesn't happen automatically with everyone though, because obviously we're all different in our thought processes....