[Jayson]

Post all Marcus quotes here and they will be added to the list

Old one isn't being updated

1. I could pull that truck with my bellend

2. I could kill him with my eyebrow

3. I am captain cool as ****

4. I am THE irrepressible dark horse

5. If they start having sex in the middle of the night, I will creep up with a spoon and whack him in the ball bag

6. Trousers exist

7. Big Brother: Would you like to say anything Marcus?

Marcus: Yes, you're talking ****

8. Yeah, thats why I drink puddle water and swallow my food whole without chewing, because my stomach juices are so strong and that.

9. Would you like cherryade all over your diary room chair?

10. Marcus: You can be identical yourself, but not be yourself

Tom: What? That doesn't make any sense Marcus

11. I've got nothing to gain from smacking around a little pissant like him

11. My *****ing tea's gone cold now you stupid w*nkers

12. He comes in bloody crying and pissing in his pants

13. Everything about this house, the second you walk in.... you go into the Matrix

14. Blah blah blah and everything like that!

15. Big Brother: In a conversation with Noirin, you said, I will show him the meaning of pain
Marcus: yeah thats from a film

16. I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow

17. To Sree: Shut up you girl!

18. Will reap the whirlwind

19. When asked if he'd shave his eyebrow off, he said:

I'd rather do something like... set fire to ourselves

20. To Tom... You're not all that and a bag of potato chips

21. I'm Just sad about Michael Jackson

22. BB: Mathematical sense or nonsense?

Marcus: You w*nker!

BB: You have just forfeited your 3 tokens

Marcus: Oh dont be a prick

23. My bladder tore open that night and I've been having trouble since. I don't regret it.

24. Big Brother: Marcus, have you anything else to say?

Marcus: Yeah, gimme back the tokens

Big Brother: No

Marcus: ...

25. Captain Cool does not suffer from jangly nerves

26. About Nikki Grahame: She's got nice long hair and acceptable breasts

27. This is probably the shittiest big brother ever

28. BB: how are you feeling about being up for nomination?

Marcus: am I allowed to swear?

BB: if you need to

Marcus: I couldnt really give a ***** to be honest

29. Noirin reckons she doesnt have any good storylines coming up, yeah, like shes seen the *****ing radio times?

30. On Isaac's entry - Marcus: I don't have to say a ****ing word

31. BB telling him off for helping kenny escape over the roof - Marcus: Yeh this isn't colditz mate

32. I don't fancy her at all, it is completely a BB thing

33. That was bollocks, it was a natterjack toad I know that species because it was part of Adrian Mole

34. Sree, dont ***** about

35. What a load of w*nk

36. I told ya, never bet against the Dark Horse

37. I am the X factor

38. Tom is a w*nker

39. That is verging on sexual harassment

40. I don't like these little peacock displays

41. Your own thoughts in your head are not your own thoughts, they are all fake thoughts

42. Nah, I don't think much of her. I think she's a *****ing idiot to tell you the truth

43. I'm sorry but that's double standards and a complete ***k

44. Do you know why tigers are dieing out? because they're bored

45. He's getting ideas above his station

46. Food bandit

47. Shut up and kiss me

48. Now I know why the victorians thought it was great to go and watch the inmates in the local asylums on an evening

49. Big Brother 10, bringing Bedlam into the 21st century

50. After Noirin and Isaac exit the house - Now we've got two extra duvets to take into the garden!

51. While Sophie is using the toilet: I'm going to find another toilet, when I want a p*ss I have a p*ss. I don't wait for anyone!

52. The viewers at home must be praying that the house gets hit by a meteorite cause all we're doing is moaning and whinging

53. I can scan a room in 10 seconds flat and make a weeks prediction of behaviour

54. Talking to Bea about David:

I'll have a word with him. If he gets lairy I'll shout at him and make him turn white

55. You can't stop the champ! I'm a force of nature, you can't stop a force of nature

56. Men like a womans' breasts, her cleavage, because it looks like a butt and makes them want to mate

57. Some dog food's nice, like the biscuits and that. I eat cat biscuits all the time. Cats' biscuits are delicious. Not tuna or anything like that, like ones with chicken in

58. When he saw George Lamb on BBLB.

"We're not ****ing sleeping you *****!" on Live TV

59. He definitely is a food-bandit

60. On Lisa: She's like a dog with no teeth.... It's time to get back into action!

61. It's going to be a very argumentative week in the house, I think ... and to be honest, I'm looking forward to it! There hasn't been enough arguments!

62. About Siavash, Day 60: He just bullshits so much. He says something and I just think 'Bull wack, mate'.

63. In jail: Take me to America please. I should be ready to leave in a few moments. Thank you

64. No-one can stop a force of nature, whilst removing the mirror from the toilet wall.

65. All those women having a good old strum over a picture of the Dark Horse

66. David and Lisa annihilated the butter

67. Sophie: in alice in wonderland they had a tea party

Marcus: I hate tea, did they have diet pepsi and 7up at the teaparty?

Sophie: no

Marcus: well they were *****ing w*nkers then

68. On Live Feed after Bea said he sounds like Peggy Mitchell.

YOU'RE BARRED! ***** OFF!

69. I guess it'll be up to Big Brother to decide if I get into trouble for giving you a gangsta-slap!

70. Bea: You look like you're made of butter

Marcus: You look like you're made of Philadelphia!

71. To Bea... Did the doctors take one look at your face and one at your arse and say oh look Siamese twins?

72. I'm made of twisted steel and sex appeal

73. "I would say that my arse is strictly an exit hole, but I would entertain the idea of colonic irrigation", said Marcus who suddenly became very enthusiastic about the idea. "Do you think we can swap a Token for a colonic irrigator?" he asked, only half joking. "You know, one of those machines with a little tube so you can see the bits of **** go past. I'd feel like Jaws and there'd be stuff in there like number plates and turtles," he added

74. You've got a transparent forehead

75. Whoop-te-****ing-doo-dar

76. I could have this whole house jumping through hoops if I wanted to

77. Oh get the sand out of your vagina!

78. Bea, you're a greasy hippy

79. How's my package looking, Karly?

80. Noirin is my favorite girl, not just for the cooking but the tits, a*se and face as well

81. On why he should give Halfwit an haircut: I've shaved thousands of head before!

82. I am the yardstick against wich all others are measured. You can't get no one cooler. I was born to be the man. It's done and dusted, set in stone. Whatever I do is cool. I breathe cool, I sleep cool. I s*it cool. You can't beat captain cool as ******, it can't be done

83. While Lisa is gagging on a tart with pig's eyeballs, David is eating a tart with pig tails and Halfwit is eating a tart with "head cheese", Marcus bangs on the glass and asks...
What's the pastry like?

84. Wouldn't 'Gameplan' be a ****ing awesome name for a rock band?

85. On BB after getting warning: Politically correct pricks

86. To Rodrigo: What is Portugeuse for w*nker then?

87. Missing Sree: Worthless little peice of garbage

89. On healthy eating: Fish and chips, mushy peas, coke, diet coke, 7-up, pickled onions and a platter of other chip shop related things like pies and battered sausages

90. On Hungersriking: I told Noirin thers no way your gonna go on hunger strike-your the guttiest b****** in here

91. To Bea: How do I sound like Peggy Mitchell you old turd

92. To Siavash: Just say what I say-its an unreal environment,you cannot hold me accountable

93. On BB: I cant wait to watch some of this back-Im gonna be p*ssing myself

94. Asked what is the darkhorse: (Pointing at himself) Film it, live it, love it

95. On BB Viewers: They're only tuning in to laugh at the pathetic, whinging little b*stards!

96. They hate us for giving them such a sh*t show to watch

97. On Noirin and Isaac: Whats the odds the two of them will be *******ing each other later on in the sitting room?

98. On ex's in the house: If my ex girlfriend came in I'd spend the rest of my time having sex - you lot can ******* off

99. On Isaac: Ballsack

100. To David: Well I think your a *******ing whinging fat *******. What are you gonna say to that? nothing!

101. Apologising to David: Round where I live every fourth word out of my mouth is *******

102. Marcus: I'm the only straight guy left
David: What about Siavash?
Marcus: Well... maybe!

[Brad.]

There is already a thread but i dont care. he has new ones every day so whatever

[Jayson]

The old one isn't being updated

[Hedgie]

In a non psycho/stalkery way...i have them all saved to a word document
Damn thats embarrasing to admit.

[Brad.]

My faves:

'i could pull that truck with my bellend'
'I could kill him with my eyebrow'
'I am captain cool as ****'
'i am THE irrepressible dark horse'
'if they start having sex in the middle of the night, I will creep up with a spoon and whack him in the ball bag'

Im sure other people will add loads more soon.

[Brad.]

Originally posted by Hedgie
In a non psycho/stalkery way...i have them all saved to a word document
Damn thats embarrasing to admit.

i like that

[ohflip]

Originally posted by Hedgie
In a non psycho/stalkery way...i have them all saved to a word document
Damn thats embarrasing to admit.

scary

[Jayson]

Originally posted by Hedgie
In a non psycho/stalkery way...i have them all saved to a word document
Damn thats embarrasing to admit.

Post them all

[Hedgie]

Originally posted by ohflip

scary

Can i have your phone number?

[Brad.]

Shmexy colours Jayson!

'trousers exist' is another one for the list - I will find loads more in a minute

[Jayson]

Every 5 quotes the colors will change

[Hedgie]

BigBrother: "Would you like to say anything Marcus?"

Marcus: "Yes you're talking ****"
"yeah thats why I drink puddle water and swallow my food whole without chewing because my stomach juices are so strong and that."

“I Can Pull Trucks With My Bellend”



“Would you like cherryade all over your diary room chair?”

Marcus: "you can be identical yourself, but not be yourself"
Tom: "What? That doesn't make any sense Marcus"

"I've got nothing to gain from smacking around a little pissant like him"

"My *****ing tea's gone cold now you stupid w*nkers"

"He comes in bloody crying and pissing in his pants"

"Everything about this house, the second you walk in.... you go into the Matrix"

“Blah blah blah and everything like that!”

Big Brother: " in a conversation with Noirin, you said, i will show him the meaning of pain"

Marcus: yeah thats from a film

"I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow"

To Sree: "Shut up you girl!"

“Will reap the whirlwind”

When asked if he'd shave his eyebrow off, he said:

"I'd rather do something like… set fire to ourselves"


To Tom.... "you're not all that and a bag of potato chips"

"I'm Just sad about Michael Jackson".

BB:"Mathematical sense or nonsense" Marcus :"you wan-ker!"

BB: "You have just forfeited your 3 tokens" Marcus: "oh dont be a prick"

My bladder tore open that night and I've been having trouble since.
I don't regret it.

Big Brother: Marcus, have you anything else to say?

Marcus: Yeah, gimme back the tokens:

Big Brother: No.

Marcus:

"Captain Cool does not suffer from jangly nerves."

On nikki grahame: "She's got nice long her and acceptable breasts".

"This is probably the shittiest big brother ever".

BB: how are you feeling about being up for nomination?
Marcus: am i allowed to swear?
BB: if you need too
Marcus: i couldnt really give a f uck to be honest

" noirin reckons she doesnt have any good storylines coming up, yehh like shes seen the ******ing radio times?"

On Isaac's entry - Marcus: "I don't have to say a ****ing word"

BB telling him off for helping kenny escape over the roof

marcus " yehh this isnt colditz mate"

“if they start having sex in the middle of the night i'll creep up with a spoon and whack him in the ball bag”

"I don't fancy her at all, it is completely a BB thing"

"That was boll0cks it was a natterjack toad I know that species because it was part of adrian mole"

[AfroMullet]

Whats the original conversation with "I'll show him the meaning of Pain"? He said aload of funny stuff before that, something like "We're see if he still thinks im a twat when i cave his ****in face in".

[Brad.]

Would you like cherryade all over your diary room chair?
My ****ing tea's gone cold now you stupid wankers
He comes in bloody crying and pissing his pants
Sree, dont **** about
This ain't Colditz mate
What a load of wank
I'd rather do something like... set fire to ourselves
I told ya, never bet against the Dark Horse
I am the X factor
Tom is a wanker
That is verging on sexual harassment
Captain cool doesnt suffer from jangly nerves
I don't like these little peacock displays
I can scan a room in 10 seconds flat and make a weeks' prediction of behaviour
She's got nice long hair and acceptable breasts
Your own thoughts in your head are not your own thoughts, they are all fake thoughts
That was bollocks it was a natterjack toad, I know that species because it was part of Adrian Mole
Nah, I don't think much of her. I think she's a ****ing idiot to tell you the truth
I'm sorry but that's double standards and a complete wank
Noirin reckons she doesnt have any good storylines coming up, yeah, like she's seen the ****ing radio times

BAM! there you go jayson! (all copy and pastable)

[Claymores]

5 is the magic one - just so wacky

You'rea heamorhoid Jayson to quote my other BB fave my pal

[Brad.]

I reckon we can get 100 by the end of the series

[Brad.]

He's getting ideas above his station
Food bandit
Shut up and kiss me

[Jayson]

Do you know why tigers are dieing out? because they're bored

[Shasown]

Tigers are dying out because they are bored!!!

[ElProximo]

This really is a great idea. It says a lot about Marcus and I believe a psychiatrist would be interested in this data.
Its all talk.
It really does show up the intellectual hypocrisy and contrast the talk-to-character disparity.
When you put them altogether you are 'hearing' what must be this superhero/supervillain who just marched in, kicked ass, took names, bitchslapped BB and then urinated draft beer on the face of all the little turds that didn't jump fast enough.
Which is really a projection of Marcus fears and how he hates to see himself (which is actually his fathers view of himself).

Fascinating stuff!

and I'd also love to see a list of the contradictory and meandering long excuses/self-aggrandizing complaints he would go on in his incredible sulk talks with Noirin or Tom etc.
Those would be worth saving for later therapy sessions. Seriously.

[Brad.]

Originally posted by Jayson
Do you know why tigers are dieing out? because they're bored

LMAO!!!!!!!!! legendary

[em_loves_it]

Originally posted by Shasown
Tigers are dying out because they are bored!!!

they have depression dont you know!

[Jack_]

On Live Feed just then something about 'like a baboon's arse'.

This guy is an absolute legend. I HAVE to meet him one day.

[Jayson]

Originally posted by ElProximo
This really is a great idea. It says a lot about Marcus and I believe a psychiatrist would be interested in this data.
Its all talk.
It really does show up the intellectual hypocrisy and contrast the talk-to-character disparity.
When you put them altogether you are 'hearing' what must be this superhero/supervillain who just marched in, kicked ass, took names, bitchslapped BB and then urinated draft beer on the face of all the little turds that didn't jump fast enough.
Which is really a projection of Marcus fears and how he hates to see himself (which is actually his fathers view of himself).

Fascinating stuff!

and I'd also love to see a list of the contradictory and meandering long excuses/self-aggrandizing complaints he would go on in his incredible sulk talks with Noirin or Tom etc.
Those would be worth saving for later therapy sessions. Seriously.

You actually bored me.

[Jayson]

Were going at an average of a quote per minute in this thread