Vote in the poll, but first...seriously consider the following Manifesto's and Speeches from the three parties. Candidates and Supporters, feel free to pm, beg and bribe if you are so inclined (!) for votes. Game on!
The Polls will be open for 48 hours from now.
The LaBear Party
The Labear Party formed in 2009 when TiBB member Nathan Mugabe registered for what he thought would be a carefree Utopia of discussions on the merits of Freddie Fisher's beard. However, much to his dismay, he soon found that the website was rife with problems, and set out to solve them.
The party has steadily increased in support and popularity through its philanthropic activities over the years. Highlights include the TiBB Music Awards 2010, where worldwide acts such as Lady GaGa, Elton John and Same Difference performed for the website's audience in support of the TiBB Anti-Bullying charity, This Is Beating Bullying, headed by Jamie Pugh. Another career high for Nathan was the creation of the Baking Thread which saw a 304% increase in the sales of TiBB cookies, creating an additional 200 jobs for the community.
The Labear Party have always put TiBB first and are not afraid to fight tooth and claw to get what TiBB rightly deserves. If elected, we would strive to achieve the following goals:
1) The creation of a new public holiday, 'Lionel Day', designed to celebrate the career and spirit of Lionel Richie and the wonderful Commodores. This would fall on September 28, and citizens are welcome to observe such soon-to-be-traditions as singing songs, attempting to dance on the ceiling, and growing mustaches.
3) We will strive for UNESCO to include marmalade sandwiches on their list of cultural heritage sites and will establish a closer rapport with the Republic of Peru in accordance with our reverence for Paddington Bear.
4) The problem of global warming will be tackled more urgently and seriously in order to help save our polar friends.
5) The forum would be advertised extensively on wildlife and survival TV shows, which we hope will lead to a 44% increase in users and activity. We are particularly interested in working with any franchise Bear Grylls chooses to associate himself with, given our admiration for his survival and resourceful techniques.
6) The Music forum would have a strict policy against the creation of threads about Katy Perry, Chris Brown and Scouting for Girls. We feel this quality control would only benefit the ears of its users.
7) It would be a requirement for TiBB citizens to observe hibernation during the month of January. The website would then be closed for improvements and maintenance work, as well as giving citizens a month to recuperate and work on better thread ideas.
8) Given the LGBT community's embracing of the term 'bear' to mean a larger or hairier homosexual male, the Labear Party will campaign for LGBT equality, with a vested interest in the legalisation of gay marriage. We will marry two homosexual sloth bears at the ZSL London Zoo as an act of solidarity.
9) In the event of a coalition government we are keen to work closer with the Cosy Listen (or Coalition) Party, given our similar stances in the areas of foreign and social policy.
10) The constitutional monarchy would be slowly dismantled. In the 21st century it is quite absurd for a family to inherit vast amounts of wealth and power without any notable work for it. We will replace the current royal family (and its pesky corgis) with a title of 'Papa Bear' or 'Mama Bear', depending on gender, which would be elected every 5 years. Buckingham Palace would be bulldozed and replaced with a giant castle created entirely out of Fox's Glacier Mints.
11) The slang term 'bare', taken to mean 'very' or 'in exceptional proportion', would be popularised on television by the likes of Rolf Harris and Bill Oddie.
12) The right to bare arms is one the Labear Party cannot condone more, and therefore we would push for the abolition of all long sleeves.
13) The TiBB footer's links for Housemate subforums would be ****ING BLOODY UPDATED
14) Bear hugs would slowly but inevitably replace handshakes as the British form of greeting.
15) A daily 'paws for thought' would be observed on TiBB where a celebrity would appear via video-link and give some uplifting or challenging thoughts for us all.
Thank you for reading our manifesto, and if you have any concerns or queries feel free to contact us at:
The official JEDWARD/JOEY coalition manifesto for the tibb election 2012.
With no gimmicks frills or showy effects, to our supporters who wish to do so you can help promote any or all the policies any way you wish to.
1) We will scrap the TV licence, we believe in this technological day and age ,it's ridiculous to have to have a licence to own a TV for one set of Channel company only.
2)On our 'crime' agenda we have several polices.
We would restore capital punishment as the maximum option again for murder and the sentence for multiple murder.
3) Crimes of paedophilia to carry a life sentence.
4) New crime of intent to be added, in cases of abduction, kidnap and criminal damage, intent to be considered as to the more unsavoury outcomes probable during the committing of those crimes.
Thereby invoking much more severe sentencing.
5) Social issues we would bring changes to would be that all dog owners must register their dog with the address the dog is resident in.
6), Noisy neighbours are no longer to be tolerated,we will bring in legislation to make it much quicker to have noisy neighbours controlled or moved.
7) Part crime,part social issue, We would invest in the Police to ensure we have the fullest and best equipped front line officers so that UK citizens can feel much safer.We would also encourage recruitment from ethnic minorities to reflect the local communities.
8)Equality for the disabled, we would enforce the rights of the disabled to be able to get around the same as everyone else.
All authorites and Companies must make provision for the disabled as to acccess and with no rules of limited numbers.
Grants could be made available to help with the costs of providing this vital necessity for small companies for whom the costs could be difficult to fund.
9)On taxation we would reduce VAT to 10% on CDs,DVDs and Games.We feel that although these are items bought by adults, children save up for such items and should be encouraged to do so but not be ripped off by overpricing.
The music, films and games industries are World renowned and despite the current climate we would want to support their future success both at home and abroad.
10)We would scrap for all, parking fees at Hospitals.
11) Our foreign policy would be to bring all the troops out of Afghanistan and any remaining in Iraq.
12) In addition to bringing the troops home, we would adopt a policy of no more interference in the Middle East and not follow at will the USA's calling as to policing the rest of the World.
We would seek to fully encourage the UN to take an active role around the World. We could then on a voluntary basis commit some troops annually to Peacekeeping missions.
13) These next polices are 2 more simple issues on a sweeter and lighter note.
Restoration of the thick layer of chocolate on a Mars bar has to be brought in.
From what Mars bars were a decade ago, the standard and quality has fallen considerably.
14) Special outlets will be opened and encouraged to set up as 'Crisps' restaurants. For the crisp addicts and snack addicts who are largely passed by in most places.
This is JFs and my final choices for our 'Jedward/Joey coalition', a mix of fairness and very serious issues.
Protection being the aim for UK citizens and also savings as to parking fees, TV licence cost and a lower tax on some goods.
Finally rounded off with some lighter policies too.
We believe there is something for everyone in these policies, please join our fight and vote for us. Give us your 'licence to go' and sort these things out.We will not let you down.
The Coalition Speech
In all elections, parties can only be right if they accept that all their hopes of righting wrongs and improving people’s lives are the same hopes shared by the people that vote for them. We believe we are in touch with what people want and can live up to what they expect.
Our slogan is ‘LICENCE TO GO!’. That slogan stands for two things: first, when we are elected, we pledge to abolish the TV Licence in the UK. But more than that, ‘LICENCE TO GO!’ is what our supporters will give us when they trust us with their vote. And we’ll never forget who gave us that licence, and who will have the power to take it away if we do not live up to our promises.
We have turned our backs on frills and gimmicks. There is no such thing as a freebie, someone somewhere will have to pay. We prefer to take a stand with only our policies and our reputations at stake. We believe that much of what is in operation economically is sound and not to be tampered with at this time. Some other things however have been sadly neglected in the face of public opposition, and now need to be put right. We believe we are the party to put them right.
Put your faith in us and return us to power and we will honour the licence you give us to act on your behalf and deliver the promises we made in our manifesto:
Protecting Children from Paedophiles. The only way to really protect children is to make sure such people cannot get to them ever again. This is why we pledge to introduce a life sentence for convicted paedophiles.
Protecting the Disabled. Disabled people are entitled to have all the rights and freedoms of movement as the rest of the population. If that right is failing to be provided then that is discriminating against them and this is unacceptable.
Internationally, we are getting into all sorts of problems trying to oversee other Countries, so much so our own safety, security are at times neglected. We pledge to stop interfering in other Countries’ affairs. That is why we would bring all our troops home with immediate effect, and in the future pull back from following other nations’ whims when it comes to policing the world. We would continue to give the UN our full support.
We tell it like it is and we feel very strongly about the policies we have outlined. Without your support, that will be all our policies remain, strong feelings, but with no licence to do anything about changing things for the better. But with the licence to bring about change, entrusted to us by our supporters, we pledge to make these policies a reality.
We know that you will consider your options carefully before you decide, but we believe you will, once you’ve thought about our manifesto and the pledges we’ve made, turn your support into votes for the Coalition.
Thank you for your support..
JF and Joey, The Jedward/Joey coalition party.
The Piddles Party
LISTEN UP PEOPLE OF TIBB
A change is going to happen. And it's going to happen now.
We at the Piddles Party believe in a brighter future for TiBB. A brighter one.
We want to see a TiBB where people can walk into threads and not fear they are going to be pounced on by the likes of Shaun or Claymores. We want to see people entering the arcades and knowing their high scores will not be cruelly snatched from them by mischievous cheaters. We want to see freedom, and a TiBB where everyone has a right to their own opinion, not one forced on them like you might see someone from the Labear party doing.
Under today's government, you might see a thread like this:
I do not like Lionel Richie
And absolutely nothing is done about it. But under us, and our fair and just team of professionals at the Piddles Party, we hope to one day see those threads turn out like this instead:
I do not like Lionel Richie
Well that is fair enough I suppose, everyone is entitled to their own opinion after all. If you do not like Lionel Richie, then that is entirely your opinion and I will respect it.
Since being founded in 2007 by Mollie Thatcher and her loyal corgi dog Piddles, the Piddles Party has always campaigned for an eco-friendly TiBB, with fresh designs that are easy on the eye, and where everything is up-to-date, contemporary and appealing to the mass-market. A TiBB for everyone.
The Piddles Party is also well known for fighting off many crimes and mistreatment of animals. Recently, an infamous animal abuser and most-wanted on the top of the 2011 Animal Offenders register, more commonly known as "Novo", was seen collecting puppy dogs and Scandinavian pigeons and locking them in a secret underground chamber hidden underneath his bottom-floor flat in Surrey. We were instantly able to take him down and report him to the officials and ensure he was never able to handle animals again, something we couldn't possibly have done without your support.
We are also very well known for rescuing abandoned animals. We recently helped 57 endangered Koala bears from being sold off to teddy-bear manufacturers that were intending to boil them down and use their fur for children's toys and dish-cloths. Behaviour like this is simply unacceptable and we have always believed this.
And just in case we haven't convinced you enough that a TiBB under the Piddles Party wouldn't be a freer, warmer and lovelier place, here is our manifesto:
1) We want to hear everyone's ideas and suggestions. Every opinion should be welcome and considered right from the get go.
2) Animal abuse will stop. We want animals to be free and content. Abandoned, endangered and abused animals will be rescued and nurtured.
3) Everyone will have the freedom to personalise themselves however much they like. We believe we can make this happen by bringing about a Nicknames feature to TiBB, where wanting a new name doesn't have to be a lengthy process of sending your request to the Tower Courts to have it approved first, it will just be simply there at the click of a few buttons.
4) Piddles will be instated as King of TiBB. He is already wearing the crown, and he has a full understanding of all the requirements needed for ruling over the lands. The country and the people will all be perfectly safe with Piddles at the throne.
5) The country will be revamped, polished, and replaced with brand new eco-friendly contemporary designs. Everything will be easy and convenient for everyone, and things will be kept constantly up to date by our team of professionals.
6) There will be a monthly celebration on the 1st day of every month where everyone pops over to Paddington Station for a grand meet-up where people will take a moment to think about their loved ones, the amputated donkeys in third world countries, and everything that matters to them, before going for a Subway.
7) We will prevent amputated donkeys in third world countries from being amputated in the first place
8) Everyone will have their own eco-friendly food compactor in their home, courtesy of the boys off The Apprentice, so that wasted food will be a thing of the past.
9) We will axe silly manufactured "talent show" competitions and replace them with real national talent competitions focused on finding the best brand new singer-songwriter and dancing dog act of the country. Real music and talented dogs will be nurtured over manufactured autotuned singers and people in dog suits.
10) Schools will be replaced by a more effective educational system with more freedom. School uniforms? Sitting all bundled together in classrooms? Pfft. Children are individuals, not robot clones.
11) We will endorse animal sanctuaries and the RSPCA. We love them very much and appreciate all the work they do.
12) More vegetarian restaurants and catering will be brought about. Everyone deserves a choice of what they eat.
13) The Music Box will be scrapped and replaced with The Media Centre, a haven not limited to just music, as we find a lot of the community members are fans of other things as well.
14) The Arcade would introduce a new game every day so that the citizens of TiBB would never find a second of boredom.
15) Landfills will be removed. All the waste from them will be transported to Jupiter as it is very big and we aren't aware it has any current inhabitants.
Thank you for reading, and we certainly hope we have helped you make your mind up and that you will make the right choice. But just remember, the Piddles Party will be here for you, every step of the way.