[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by Liam-

Dear god

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Liam-

Dear god

our god
who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

thy kingdom CUM.

see, it's in the bible....

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

that's very fair. you get to decide what is right for you, and you have a right to expect your partner to be honest with you too. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with monogamy. i'm glad you and your husband are on the same page

unfortunately, some men, and some women, are not so happy in their relationships. and feel like they can't be honest.

i think everyone should just feel conformable being honest, but we do live in a society that makes people feel like they have to lie.

you will admit that our society does pressure people into feeling like they HAVE to be monogamous, right?

Yeah I agree, as you rightly point out, it's actually honesty between couples that's the bigger issue here. Yes society does push towards monogamy and maybe open relationships should not be frowned upon so much. As I've said before, i don't have any issues with people wanting open relationships as long as they're both on the same page and again that comes back to honesty. Unfortunately though i think alot of these people who cheat don't really want open relationships, they want to be able to sleep around themselves but maybe wouldn't be as open to their partner doing it and maybe that's why they sneak around instead of discussing it

[LeatherTrumpet]

A relationship can only work with 100% trust on each side. You have to make yourself vulnerable when you have that trust in someone and that is why it works

its also why it hurts like a bastard when that trust is broken..

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

A relationship can only work with 100% trust on each side. You have to make yourself vulnerable when you have that trust in someone and that is why it works

its also why it hurts like a bastard when that trust is broken..

wise words LT

[Liam-]

I once had a chance to get into a relationship with a guy I really liked, but he only wanted to be in an open relationship, I thought about it, but in the end I turned it down because at the end of the day, if I'm not good enough for a monogamous relationship with you, then I don't want to be in one, I personally don't see open relationships as proper relationships tbh, they're seedy and weird imo, but each to their own.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Liam-

I once had a chance to get into a relationship with a guy I really liked, but he only wanted to be in an open relationship, I thought about it, but in the end I turned it down because at the end of the day, if I'm not good enough for a monogamous relationship with you, then I don't want to be in one, I personally don't see open relationships as proper relationships tbh, they're seedy and weird imo, but each to their own.

how old are you?

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by lostalex

how old are you?

run Liam

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

run Liam

lol i'm not attacking...

but i will say that open relationships actually are much more stable because there is more communication usually.

The vast majority of monogamous relationships fail and a big part of that is because they try to live up to some disney fairy tale, and fairy tales are not real.

[lostalex]

Notice how most religious make allowances for men with multiple wives, but never for women to have multiple husbands...

it's because even the most HOLY of men ended up cheating and the religions need to make excuses for men, but never for women..

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

lol i'm not attacking...

but i will say that open relationships actually are much more stable because there is more communication usually.

The vast majority of monogamous relationships fail and a big part of that is because they try to live up to some disney fairy tale, and fairy tales are not real.

How do you know open relationships are more stable, that's a genuine question btw, is there some study done on it or what? And even if that's actually the case, open relationships only work for people who want to be in an open relationship and that's not alot as far as I can see

[Liam-]

Originally Posted by lostalex

how old are you?

20

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

How do you know open relationships are more stable, that's a genuine question btw, is there some study done on it or what? And even if that's actually the case, open relationships only work for people who want to be in an open relationship and that's not alot as far as I can see

i agree, they only work for people who are willing to be totally honest and free and admit their sexual desires. if one person isn;'t into it, it won't work because it will make jealousy, especially the double standards in straight relationships, because usually men want to have open relationships with women, but not allow the the women to have open relationships with other men.

I admit that it doesn't work well for straight people because straight men are so possessive and sexist against women. They see women as their property.

[Kizzy]

These people aren't in open relationships... well, one is but the other has no clue.
It is deceptive and you would've thought the new moral army would've been championing this lil stunt... but no.
Why? because it's business, and nothing gets in the way of business.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

These people aren't in open relationships... well, one is but the other has no clue.
It is deceptive and you would've thought the new moral army would've been championing this lil stunt... but no.
Why? because it's business, and nothing gets in the way of business.

no duhh Kizzy, if they were in an open relationship they wouldn't need to pay to be a member of a website like this. that was my whole point.

obviously this website is only for people in monogamous relationships.

The whole point of the website, and why it was so successful, is that it advertised to people who were in MONOGAMOUS relationships.

you can't "cheat" in an open relationship. there's no such thing.

[smudgie]

Try before you buy, get to know someone really really well before you commit.
Maybe it is harder to find your soulmate nowadays, I don't know.
Hubby and I have been together 38 years on Sunday, we manage to communicate very well, in bed, out of bed, hanging from chandeliers and anywhere else that takes your imagination.
Real loves carries on growing, as does the good sex, all this talk of getting bored etc normally boils down to rushing into a marriage through infatuation

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by smudgie

Try before you buy, get to know someone really really well before you commit.
Maybe it is harder to find your soulmate nowadays, I don't know.
Hubby and I have been together 38 years on Sunday, we manage to communicate very well, in bed, out of bed, hanging from chandeliers and anywhere else that takes your imagination.
Real loves carries on growing, as does the good sex, all this talk of getting bored etc normally boils down to rushing into a marriage through infatuation

how long was the longest relationship you've been in?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

i agree, they only work for people who are willing to be totally honest and free and admit their sexual desires. if one person isn;'t into it, it won't work because it will make jealousy, especially the double standards in straight relationships, because usually men want to have open relationships with women, but not allow the the women to have open relationships with other men.

I admit that it doesn't work well for straight people because straight men are so possessive and sexist against women. They see women as their property.

You know it's funny you should say that, after I read you last post I googled open relationship success and came across an article about Pitbull who's been in an open relationship for 9 years, I thought the bit in bold was quite funny and telling :

Most of Pitbull's friends in Miami aren't as open, and they think he's a bit nuts. "At the same time, they'll be like, ‘Damn, I wish I had a relationship like yours,'" he says. Guys like the idea of freedom for themselves, but the thought of their girl doing the same is too much to handle. "Men have to under- stand that women are loyal," he says, perhaps naively. "If she gets something she likes, she'll stick with it."

So he's basically saying that his partner can have sex with other men if she wants but she just wants him......

- See more at: http://www.mensfitness.com/women/dat....3tmj8zEr.dpuf

[smudgie]

Originally Posted by lostalex

how long was the longest relationship you've been in?

Well, this one is 38 years and going strong.
I had 4 years of trying before you buy before I met him.
Purely for sex mainly, like a kid in a sweetshop really once I discovered I liked it.
The big secret is learning that sexual attraction and infatuation wear off eventually, so wait a good while and sow those wild oats before you commit to one person.
Hard Lesson, but if worked for me in the long run.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by lostalex

no duhh Kizzy, if they were in an open relationship they wouldn't need to pay to be a member of a website like this. that was my whole point.

obviously this website is only for people in monogamous relationships.

The whole point of the website, and why it was so successful, is that it advertised to people who were in MONOGAMOUS relationships.

you can't "cheat" in an open relationship. there's no such thing.

Why are you duhhing at me?... I don't care what your point is.
I would've thought even in an open relationship there was a degree of exclusivity, as in as much as you have more than one partner but all are aware of one another?

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

You know it's funny you should say that, after I read you last post I googled open relationship success and came across an article about Pitbull who's been in an open relationship for 9 years, I thought the bit in bold was quite funny and telling :

Most of Pitbull's friends in Miami aren't as open, and they think he's a bit nuts. "At the same time, they'll be like, ‘Damn, I wish I had a relationship like yours,'" he says. Guys like the idea of freedom for themselves, but the thought of their girl doing the same is too much to handle. "Men have to under- stand that women are loyal," he says, perhaps naively. "If she gets something she likes, she'll stick with it."

So he's basically saying that his partner can have sex with other men if she wants but she just wants him......

- See more at: http://www.mensfitness.com/women/dat....3tmj8zEr.dpuf

That's awesome if he really gives her complete freedom... that being said, based on "hip-hop" culture i hope she really is being given as much freedom as he claims. But if he really does give her complete freedom, it's a good example of a straight open relationship. (assuming he would have no problem when she does **** other men.)

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

That's awesome if he really gives her complete freedom... that being said, based on "hip-hop" culture i hope she really is being given as much freedom as he claims.

Well I doubt it, he's basically saying there that she can if she wants but she chooses not to because she's too loyal to him. So in other words he pretends that she can go away and have sex with other guys but it sounds like he would see her as disloyal if she did........double standards much?

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Well I doubt it, he's basically saying there that she can if she wants but she chooses not to because she's too loyal to him. So in other words he pretends that she can go away and have sex with other guys but it sounds like he would see her as disloyal if she did........double standards much?

or maybe his girl is bisexual and she only wants to get with other girls, we don't know the specifics. every relationship is different.

just like in some monogamous relationships a boyfriend won't even let his girlfriend have male friends... i would consider that incredibly sexist, but plenty of women in monogamous relationships accept that.

[Scarlett.]

Bet divorce lawyers the world over are rubbing their hands in glee, lol.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

or maybe his girl is bisexual and she only wants to get with other girls, we don't know the specifics. every relationship is different.

just like in some monogamous relationships a boyfriend won't even let his girlfriend have male friends... i would consider that incredibly sexist, but plenty of women in monogamous relationships accept that.

Well I guess there's also alot of women who don't want their partners to have female friends either