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thesheriff443 · 20-09-2016, 01:16 PM

Following on from the thread sleeping with someone who is married,
would you forgive your husband/wife partner boyfriend/girlfriend for cheating on you?

Would it matter how many times they cheated and who they cheated on you with?

Vicky. · 20-09-2016, 01:17 PM

It depends. I could forgive a one night stand easily enough. If it was a fullblown affair then probably not.

Niamh. · 20-09-2016, 01:23 PM

Oh that's a very tough question to answer, I think a proper affair I wouldn't be able to forgive because of all the lying and deceit involved. I would struggle with a one night stand as well tbh but I may be able to forgive that, I'm not sure though

Rob! · 20-09-2016, 01:25 PM

It's not tough at all for me - no.

Mokka · 20-09-2016, 01:26 PM

I would say the circumstances would dictate the answer. There would need to be real repentance... a some kind of assurance it wasn't going on or going to happen again.

I would like to think I could be a reasonable person who recognizes the fallacies of human nature and forgive and move on...but in reality I am pretty emotionally charged as it goes... jealous and all that ...and it would probably never leave my mind... and would end up destroying the foundation of trust in the relationship overall.

Niamh. · 20-09-2016, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob!

It's not tough at all for me - no.

It's easier to say that when you aren't married with kids and a house and have been with the person years

Not saying i definitely would either though, I just can't say how I'd act in that situation unless it happened

Tom4784 · 20-09-2016, 01:29 PM

It depends on the circumstances. Mistakes and errors in judgement are usually forgiven once if they own up to it and show true regret and remorse.

Kyle · 20-09-2016, 01:29 PM

I have forgiven but only after the relationship ended.

As far as I'm concerned the relationship is over but life's too short to be angry at someone forever. It happens.

thesheriff443 · 20-09-2016, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

It's easier to say that when you aren't married with kids and a house and have been with the person years

Not saying i definitely would either though, I just can't say how I'd act in that situation unless it happened

This is how I feel.

Vicky. · 20-09-2016, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

It's easier to say that when you aren't married with kids and a house and have been with the person years

Not saying i definitely would either though, I just can't say how I'd act in that situation unless it happened

Yeah definitely. When I had no responsibilities and mainly casual relationships I would probably have left someone for just kissing someone else. It becomes a lot bigger decision when you have properly settled down and that I think.

However I could still forgive pretty easily for a one off shag. The affair though..its the constant lies that would make that one harder to decide. Honestly, I couldn't say I would never forgive an affair either though. Hopefully I am never in the situation where I have to think about this

LeatherTrumpet · 20-09-2016, 01:34 PM

It would obviously depend on the circumstances and what you mean by cheat - an ambiguous general term

Niamh. · 20-09-2016, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

It would obviously depend on the circumstances and what you mean by cheat - an ambiguous general term

I took it to mean sleep with someone else for the purpose of this thread

LeatherTrumpet · 20-09-2016, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I took it to mean sleep with someone else for the purpose of this thread

yes but finding out about a 2 year affair is not quite the same as a one night stand blind drunk were you cant recall the sex act in any way

Niamh. · 20-09-2016, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yeah definitely. When I had no responsibilities and mainly casual relationships I would probably have left someone for just kissing someone else. It becomes a lot bigger decision when you have properly settled down and that I think.

However I could still forgive pretty easily for a one off shag. The affair though..its the constant lies that would make that one harder to decide. Honestly, I couldn't say I would never forgive an affair either though. Hopefully I am never in the situation where I have to think about this

I think if I found out my husband had spent weeks or months or more lying to my face, I would never again be able to trust him and he wouldn't be the person I thought he was anymore

Kyle · 20-09-2016, 01:39 PM

I know for a lot of people there's a lot of nuance involved and shades of grey or whatever but for me personally some things are just better black or white. You cheat, it's been a pleasure but we're done and I like it that way.

Obviously I've never been married or have kids so ive never had to worry about complications like that but I still don't really see me mind changing.

Lostie! · 20-09-2016, 01:40 PM

No. Once is one time too many.

Niamh. · 20-09-2016, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle

I know for a lot of people there's a lot of nuance involved and shades of grey or whatever but for me personally some things are just better black or white. You cheat, it's been a pleasure but we're done and I like it that way.

Obviously I've never been married or have kids so ive never had to worry about complications like that but I still don't really see me mind changing.

You have to admit that it's interesting how the majority of out right No's in here are the younger/not married with kids and the ones who weren't sure were/are married with kids though.....coincidence?

Kyle · 20-09-2016, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

You have to admit that it's interesting how the majority of out right No's in here are the younger/not married with kids and the ones who weren't sure were/are married with kids though.....coincidence?

Probably Niamh and maybe you're right.

All I can do is speak for me in the now though, I don't know what a future Kyle would do.

Niamh. · 20-09-2016, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle

Probably Niamh and maybe you're right.

All I can do is speak for me in the now though, I don't know what a future Kyle would do.

Oh I know, I'm just saying and I would have given the same answer you did when I was younger and less attached

again though, that's not saying I still could or would forgive and be able to move on, I'm just not totally sure

ArgyESC · 20-09-2016, 01:58 PM

No!

Josy · 20-09-2016, 02:00 PM

I'm a jealous bitch so no way mayteY!

Niamh. · 20-09-2016, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josy

I'm a jealous bitch so no way mayteY!

Kyle · 20-09-2016, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Oh I know, I'm just saying and I would have given the same answer you did when I was younger and less attached

again though, that's not saying I still could or would forgive and be able to move on, I'm just not totally sure

Absolutely, and for the record I think whether you outright believe cheating should be unforgivable or that there are circumstances to take into account I don't think either is wrong.

It's totally up to you as a person to decide what you think you can or cannot take because at the end of the day it's you that's going to deal with the consequences of whatever decision you make it. The only time I would ever step in and maybe have a word in edgeways is if the person's partner is a serial offender who is making a mug out of the person or is violent. Other than that You do you*

*resists urge to make sexual pun