[Nicky91]

Starring

Idris Elba as James Bond/007

Ralph Fiennes as M

Morgan(Blurryface) as Felix Leiter

Willem Dafoe as Derek Dragon

Jamie Lee Curtis as Angela Dragon, Derek's wife

John Cleese as Q

Maan De Steenwinkel as Tiffany Dragon, Derek and Angela's daughter

Christoph Waltz as Ernst Stavro Blofeld

Liam Hemsworth as Sergeant Josh Collins

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as KGB Operative Maxim Vochkov

Madonna as Christa Paul

Dane DeHaan as Richie Lloyd Jones

with

Stellan Skarsgard as professor Magnus Bergmark

and

Sophie Turner as Breanna Rogers

[Nicky91]

Russia, a private airfield

James: i'm in, going to look for the documents now

Felix: hurry 007, we've got eyes on the security, we'll warn you if something goes wrong

Soldier1: can you believe it that our spectre almost being defeated

Soldier2: rumours say that Blofeld has gone into hiding, no one knows his location

Soldier1: can you stand guard over here, i am going to the pissa

Soldier2: sure


Soldier1: *whistling* huh who is there

James: sorry mate forgot to knock *punches soldier in his face*


Maxim: astevitsch astevitsch, or some russian language

Derek: we need to leave asap, our boss is waiting for us at our rendezvous


Felix: who is that

M: let's see, meet Derek Dragon, multimillionaire oil tycoon married to a angela dragon, daughter is Tiffany dragon, and he owns Dragontooth enterprises

Felix: so him funding spectre might be a possibility

M: yes i think the same


James: *finding documents in the desk* Felix i got the documents

Felix: copy that 007, move out asap

James: alright, easier said than done


Maxim: hands where i can see them

James: you don't know who you are messing with

Maxim: actually i do know, James Bond 007, secret agent ooh i am scared

James: no but this will scare you *kicks Maxim away*


Maxim: get him NOW

James: *running towards the border* almost there *turns around and shoots several guards*


at Dragontooth enterprises

Derek: welcome to our company, we can bring us out of the economical crisis

Tiffany: so proud of my daddy helping us and his ally Ernst Stavro Blofeld

Angela: you don't mean that Tiffany

Tiffany: i do, Blofeld is a good man, 007 attacked our airbase


Josh: mr dragon, there is someone here to see you

Derek: who

Josh: a guy named Maxim Vochkov


Derek: Maxim, you survived the encounter with 007

Maxim: yes he got away with some documents

Derek: what documents

Maxim: documents about project lunar strike

Derek: NO, get to london immediately and retrieve those documents

Maxim: aye boss


a opening party at a mansion, where 007 arrives

Christa: welcome 007

James: call me James

Christa: Christa Paul, i am Derek Dragon's advisor

Derek: ah James Bond, what a honour to finally meet you

James: yes i Always wanted to meet a dragon


Maxim: mr lloyd jones, have you found the documents

Richie: no Maxim

Maxim: it's mr vochkov for you

Richie: sorry boss, ah i found something, his room number is 242

Maxim: yes i'll send 2 of my men to that room now

at the CIA base

Felix: so how does Derek Dragon connect with Blofeld

Breanna: hello Felix Leiter

Felix: who are you, and why are you here

Breanna: i have crucial information on Blofeld, i think he is residing in Brazil


end of part 1

[LeatherTrumpet]

Jamess is so going to bone that bitch Tiffany Dragon in a scene that was fine in the 1970s but today looks like a type of mild rape

[Nicky91]

later that night in the bunker

Colonel Rashadov: at ease men, we've got no visitors scheduled and............

Lieutenant Rakhamov: huh welcome to the base General Vochkov

Maxim: yes yes stand down comrade

Colonel Rashadov: we weren't expecting you

Maxim: no of course not, is our satellite ready

Colonel Rashadov: yes of course Always ready, with this key you can activate it

Maxim: Tiffany take care of our guests will ya

Tiffany: *shooting everyone in the bunker with her machine gun*

Maxim: now let us activate satellite Andrej in 3, 2, 1 *activates satellite using key*


Derek: okay we're online, get out of there team before the police show up

Maxim: copy that boss, let's go Tiffany


007's room, was being followed by Josh Collins, one of Dragon's henchmen

Josh: *shooting into 007's bed*

James: hello Josh

Josh: mr bond, you are about to be killed *turning on tv*

TV: a man named James Bond presumably shot himself in his hotel room

James: ah a show which can predict the future i love these shows

Josh: this isn't a joke, i am a trained gunman i can make it look suicide all the way from Moscow

James: your gun you fired your 5 rounds, now i got my 2 rounds *killing Josh instantly*

end of part 2

[Nicky91]

Missile Silo, for Project Lunar Strike

Derek: Maxim get back here immediately you hear me

Maxim: alright what is going on boss

Derek: i think 007 is heading towards us

Maxim: didn't Josh deal with him

Derek: he did not answer any of my calls

Maxim: i'll take care of 007, you just finish project lunar strike

Derek: thanks

*sitting inside a limousine, Tiffany is calling with one of her guards*

Tiffany: i have spotted James Bond, coming out of the water

Guard1: in scuba gear

Tiffany: yes

Guard1: alright you go towards your dad inside the silo i will handle with our intruder

Tiffany: yes project lunar strike must still go on no matter what


007 arrived near missile silo, along with Felix

James: so Felix, i want you near the guard tower with a sniper rifle to cover me

Felix: and you are

James: i am going in the missile silo placing explosives on a couple of fuel tanks, destroying the place

Felix: clever idea


end of part 3

[Morgan.]

Yay thanks

[Nicky91]

yes Morgan you being Felix Leiter a iconic bond character

[RileyH]

Sophie Turner

[Nicky91]

Missile Silo

James: *taking out guard after guard* timer at 15 minutes

Tiffany: i wouldn't do that if i were you, mr bond

James: your father is evil, working with a terrorist like blofeld

Tiffany: my father is the greatest man on the world, and Blofeld i know he's working with him

James: i'm sorry for this *punches Tiffany in the face*

Tiffany: guards get bond

*guards pursue bond, bond shoots one of them*

Tiffany: Richie take me to the helicopter

Richie: yes madam


*Tiffany, Derek, Richie, Maxim escape with their helicopter, 007 escapes into the water, as the missilo silo explodes*

Blofeld's hideout in Brazil

Blofeld: you disappoint me Derek

Derek: it was 007, and if i would've known i

Blofeld: quiet 007 should've died in that hotel room, instead we found your man Josh lying dead

Derek: he doesn't know about your whereabouts, unless that bitch Breanna ratted us out

Blofeld: find Breanna and kill her

Derek: alright i won't let you down again


Tiffany locates 007 and Breanna's house

Soldier1: we are in place

Tiffany: go inside now

Soldier1: *opens door and sees a bomb with a sign Better Luck next time idiots, entire hotel room exploding*

Tiffany: damn it

helicopter with Maxim searching for Breanna in the nearby river

Maxim: bring me closer to the river

James: *under the water seeing helicopter with Maxim, fires a little rocket at the helicopter, hitting the copter and crashing it in the river*

Breanna: where is Maxim

James: gone fishing


end of part 4

[Nicky91]

at Dragon Enterprises

Derek: where's Maxim

Tiffany: killed by bond

Derek: WHATTTT!!!!!

Blofeld: it seems killing james bond is a too difficult challenge for you mr dragon

Derek: he's 007 ffs

Blofeld: yeah but he isn't immortal

Tiffany: herr blofeld, i will not disappoint you, James Bond will be killed even if it's the last thing i do


James Bond arriving near dragon enterprises

James: James Bond, universal exports

Richie: ah i see, you're on our list, go to corridor number 15

James: thanks

Richie: no thank you *calling with Tiffany* he's here

Tiffany: yes *pushes button to close door of corridor 15*

James: *uses one of his gadgets to fire a hook, pulling him up and out of the corridor*

Tiffany: *calling with investors* yes we at dragon enterprises have got lots of money, money which can be yours, hold on damn it Richie, Bond survived

Richie: seriously how did he survive

James: *using silenced ppk shooting Richie 2 times*

Derek: mr bond, welcome to my domain

James: ah the dragon, i'd expected you to fly

Derek: sorry to disappoint you mr bond

James: not a firey breath, but a garlic breath i smell

Derek: still having the same sense of humour

Tiffany: tut tut tut mr bond *kicking against bond's knee*

James: ur gonna regret that

Derek: no mr bond, it is you are gonna regret having interfered in my business, but for now i'd say adieu

Tiffany: wait for me daddy

Magnus: i am professor Magnus Bergmark mr bond

James: do i see crocodiles

Magnus: no mr bond these are alligators, they are far more dangerous then your crocodile

James: the more teeth the better

Magnus: precisely mr bond

James: well first of all i am gonna tell you the future

Magnus: ah go on i'm listening

James: first i'm gonna use you as a human shield, to kill those 4 guards, then i'll throw you in the pool with your gator friends

Magnus: how can you do that when you are tied to this chair

James: when you were bragging about your gators, i cut myself loose from this chair

*James kills the 4 guards with his ppk*

Magnus: NO NO NO, mr dragon help me

*James throws Professor bergmark in the pool, the gators quickly devouring him*

at the airport

Tiffany: 007 has escaped

Derek: damn, btw mr blofeld you've outlived your purpose for us

*private jet leaving without blofeld*


end of part 5

[Nicky91]

Derek and Tiffany have arrived in Saudi Arabia with their private jet

Tiffany: who are we meeting here anyway

Derek: he's somewhat known for dealing with secret agents, worked at terrorist organizations here

Tiffany: wow

Khalid Bin-Barkoum: hello and welcome to my beautiful country

Derek: we have a problem, his name is James Bond codename 007

Khalid: british secret service, ah i can handle him

Derek: really

Khalid: in return i will give you 14 Billion dollars

Tiffany: ka-ching, yasss now i can go shopping

Derek: well not so fast, keep an eye out for any more secret agents

Tiffany: will do

James Bond arrives in Karachi Pakistan

James: Karachi it is

Felix: i followed the jet's transponder they are in Saudi Arabia

James: why the saudi's

Felix: Derek must have used his connections from the oil industry

James: alright saudi here we come


Abdul: Ghareem, Nazeer follow me and let's get rid of 007

Ghareem: *calling with Tiffany* we found him

Tiffany: eliminate him now

Ghareem: *uses his sword on the bed, revealing a doll laying there and not 007*

James: missed me *shoots Ghareem*

Nazeer: marco.........polo.........marco.....

James: polo *stabs Nazeer with ghareem's sword*


back at Dragon's mansion

Tiffany: daddy ur such a idiot you know that

Derek: why, 007 is gone now sweetie

Tiffany: he isn't, ugh sometimes you gotta do things yourself *shoots her father Derek in the head*

Tiffany: guards search for 007 will ya

James: *taking out one guard* Bond to Tiffany ur under arrest

Tiffany: no way, guards kill him

Felix: *using sniper rifle to shoot several guards*

Tiffany: hello is anyone there, jeez good guards are not for hire these days *grabs gun from purse* mr bond i have had enough of you

James: *shoots at Tiffany, all shots missing her* ah you have a gun, isn't a billionaire's daughter having enough staff and security to do the dirty work for her

Tiffany: *shoots bond in the leg* gotta run mr bond, i am now a trillionaire thanks to my late daddy Derek Dragon

Felix: ur gonna let her get away

James: no of course not

*Tiffany drives off towards the airport, humming with the music on the radio, bomb going off and the car explodes*

James: she Always had a explosive temper


Blofeld reveals a new ally

Blofeld: welcome my fellow spectre board members, here is our newest ally, Breanna

Breanna: 007 is our main priority, he caused the deaths of Derek and Tiffany Dragon



end of part 6

[Nicky91]

title song performed by Cardi B

[RileyH]