[Smithy]

I think most people enjoy reading these but atm these are all filler queens that nobody really cares about/has an overtly strong opinion on

I read all I just don’t comment

[reece(:]

Kandy Hew

[Black Dagger]

BITCH!!! x

[Tom4784]

I'm glad you've resumed these

[TomC]

Didn’t care for ha.

No attempt to be explicit or controversial this time x

[Shaun]

78th Place: April Carrión (Season 6) - finished 11th

Another queen I adore but can't really justify placing any higher: April chose the wrong season to turn up at Drag Race. Season 6 was so full to the brim of ready-made storylines with Adore/Laganja's history, Dela/Darienne's feud, Joslyn/Courtney's awkwardness, Gia/Milk's feud, Bianca's reads, and Trinity's inner saboteur storyline, that the few queens that didn't make good TV were promptly sent packing.

Which is disheartening because of all of the younger, prettier queens, April's drag is considerably more stunning and enthralling than most. There wasn't one bad runway in the 3 episodes that April lasted, and her critiques from the judges left me a little bit frustrated - she was sent home for putting on padding and shrieking as 'the Big Girl' in Shade: the Rusical, when that is basically a shtick that queens like Eureka and Silky have gone on to claim

Her two lipsyncs on the show were great, too: she rightly sent Vivacious packing to a high-tempo 'Shake it Up' number, and really - I think - matched the passion and energy brought by Trinity K Bonet to 'I'm Every Woman'. I'll let you be the judge. It's a close one.

Youtube video

April is best remembered on the show for flirting with Adam Lambert and sadly, little else. But I earnestly believe she's a queen who has far, far more to give to the show. I would love an Allstars/Earlyboots return (and not just because she's hot af):

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Memorable quote(s): "PUÑETA"
Best Runway(s): All good, but I'd pick her umbrella look for sure.
Best Moment(s): It's hard to say there WERE any with how little airtime she got </3

[TomC]

I loved her and it still kind of boggles my mind she lasted only three episodes. That umbrella look

[Shaun]

77th Place: Milk (Season 6, All Stars 3) - finished 9th in both

Proving that I have some semblance of fairness and impartiality when compiling this list, I have placed Milk far higher than I would have if I just went H.A.M. and listed every single instance of delusion and unpleasantness I've observed in Milk.

Where to start? Well, let's dive in with All Stars 3. From the get go she goes "zaddy's home"; fully aware that her time on Season 6 was only really celebrated because of her appearance out of drag. Let alone all of her successes since Season 6 (appearing in a Marc Jacobs ad campaign, modeling for Vivienne Westwood, and Madonna's skincare line) being for what she looks like as 'male', too.

That's fine - surely her drag's evolved though? Not if the visible pen-holder and construction hat under 2 of her 4 wigs had anything to say about it

Her performances, then? Surely they were fine. No - she went home third but sucked at all 3 challenges. Her Celine Dion performance was utterly BIZARRE and I am still FURIOUS that they placed Chi Chi's great Patti LaBelle in the bottom over this bitch. Her talent show was best summarised by Trixie ("your talent can't be velcro") and all I associate with the memory now is Vanessa Hudgens trying her best to look impressed by the lines "TOUCH. THE FASHION." And Kennedy Davenport's eyeroll, of course. She would finally be be sent packing for a horrific scene-hogging performance in The Bitchelor - a move that even saw her cross the Trixie stans because they thought she ruined Trixie's chances of getting her first 'top 2' placing by constantly interrupting her with some screeches (disclaimer: no, Kennedy and Dela were still 100% better than her anyway).

But the thing that naturally irked me - and others - the most was the entitlement through the season. "That's a lot of emotion for safe" indeed. Reeling off how she'd performed for Celine Dion's wedding planner, saying that Kennedy's "drag wasn't at an all star level", telling Dela "the judges actually want me to continue in this competition", attacking Aja/Chi Chi's drag after being eliminated... the list goes on.

And if you want me to forget all of that and focus on her Season 6 highlights then I counter: WHAT ****ING HIGHLIGHTS? She dressed as boy-RuPaul and no one saw it coming. Big woo. Milk was an asshole and I'm glad I waited this long to oust that stupid bitch! Delayed gratification indeed. But yes, I place her this highly because she is an All Star and provided some decent runways. Her sewing challenge look was good, too (but she didn't ****ing pioneer 'bearded queens' like she claimed, either! Mathu Andersen was FAR more iconic.)

Memorable quote(s): "If you're looking for a dude, or in the preggers mood; Milk is in the house and them other bitches rude". Ugh. Kendrick Lamar wishes.
"The idea of being in the top is so exciting." Shangela: "...well halleloo "
Best Runway(s): Probably the toga party in S6
Best Moment(s): Kennedy sending her home no Shangela's talking heads no seriously Gia calling her a ****ing dude stop it guys! I cast a very lacklustre vote for "providing a notable bulge with Adore Delano in that "tops/bottoms" mini-challenge". Yes.

[Black Dagger]

**** of a person. Be gone.

[Smithy]

savage

She was a ****, surprised she made it that high

[Daniel-X]

The Milk write up is everything right in the world

[TomC]

I don’t even think Milk’s that hot. And he really sucked on AS3

[Tom4784]

Milk's writeup watered my crops and fed the children.

[Shaun]

76th Place: Cynthia Lee Fontaine (Season 8, Season 9) - finished 10th in both

We're starting to tackle the "two-appearances" kinda queens now and the one that I feel most guilty about placing this low is poor Cynthia.

Season 8's Miss Congeniality was everything that is loveable about a drag-race queen: quirky, endlessly optimistic and cheerful, extremely supportive and helpful of the other queens, and the odd little catchphrase that AT THAT TIME wasn't at all annoying.

Unfortunately, this show can turn one-off catchphrases into a never-ending twilight zone of repetition and hell. Some queens manage to conceal their trademarks and play them casually and effectively (Alaska, Alyssa, Shangela). Others rely upon them and land in the bottom two but with some dignity (Trixie's Ru impression, Roxxxy's Tasha Salad). But then there are the Moniques and the Monets and the...*gulps* Cucus.

Whilst I generally have absolutely no time for Lee Dawson's shallow and mean take on the fan-editing process, turning Cynthia's buzzword into a shrill, speaker-breaking orgasm was pretty much the nail on the head for all of the fandom's frustration with Cynthia in season nine. But that's just a word, and it still doesn't dent Cynthia's great personality, so why is she this low? Well, her Roller Girl look is - without doubt - the guaranteed, set in stone, number 1 WORST runway of all time. One bad look would be forgiveable but Cynthia, sadly, brought many, and I think she's the only queen who has a 100% "BOOT" record on Fashion Photo RuView (ignoring queens who went home 1st/2nd, ofc). Not all were deserved (I actually liked her fur runway) but when you consider she tore that off to reveal a black bra and red panties for her lipsync you're left fighting an unwinnable fight.

Performance-wise, Cynthia kinda floundered in both seasons and whilst she had some highlights (Princess Cuculina was adorable, and she brought comedy to the Newsroom that Charlie Hides so RELENTLESSLY crushed), she also bombed many: her take on the Sugar Ball was indeed just Detox's look (that sent Detox home, no less) in pink, her Kardashian lipsync was a disaster (but I will argue she should never have been given the lead Alexis Michelle you vile beast), and although I think she did better than Robbie, Derrick and Kim Chi, her RuCo's Empire performance was...baffling and then she matched it with Unmentionably Evil Runway #1. There was also the one, fleeting moment where I thought "Cynthia that was horrible you bitch " and that was when she told Nina Bo'nina Brown she was doing "community service" for choosing Jaymes Mansfield for her team Mean.

I will always have love for Cynthia Lee Fontaine, though. She's an incredibly sweet and caring person, and to see someone like that struggle with cancer so visibly on the show was heartbreaking - not to mention her experience with the Pulse Orlando shooting. Also, she provided one of the absolute BEST moments in Season Eight:

Youtube video

Absolute goddess.

Memorable quote(s): "WAaAaAaIT.... second time in HISTORY of RuPaul... TWO ELIMINATED "
"You know, it can be like...the butthole ... but let me spill you a story real quick: when I was a shild, mom doesn't want us to say bad words at home. So... one day I was three years old, trying to go to the bathroom, cos I need to, from MY CULO to do caca... she slapped me with a chancleta... so I said cucu mama caca peepee. OK "
Best Runway(s): Has to be her fur runway, I guess. The others were all pretty bad </3
Best Moment(s): Sending a heel flying and absolutely DESTROYING a stagelight in the Bitch Perfect performance, whilst Acid Betty tries to get her not to step on glass

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

I’m so excited for like the top 30

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

I bet alaska wins

[Smithy]

I never really got why she was brought back for S9, should have been a different S8 queen imo, I didn’t find cucu that irritating either

[TomC]

i actually prefered cynthia in s9 over s8

she's kinda freaky tho

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by Smithy

I never really got why she was brought back for S9, should have been a different S8 queen imo, I didn’t find cucu that irritating either

It's because of her diagnosis, I think. She didn't announce it until after the show so I think it was kind of a Eureka deal in which she would have left for medical reasons so they gave her a second chance in Season 9.

[Shaun]

75th Place: Max (Season 7) - finished 9th

Max holds a record for the first (and so far only) queen to be eliminated in the first half of the season with two wins under her belt. And she actually deserved those wins as well! Sure, one of them might have been the disastrous Shakesqueer challenge, but a win is a win, and that matters...unless Michelle Visage gets tired of your grey-haired shtick.

I remember feeling abject apathy towards Max during season 7 and I can't say much has changed: editing may well have had a mischievous part to play in what made Max seem so prissy and delicate and pretentious throughout the season but you can't really invent a personality from nothing, so some of it must have been genuine. Max's uncomfortability with the queens' raucous and sexual humour was a recurring theme early on in the season, fueling ridicule from Violet and Miss Fame - and Trixie and Katya have long since joked about her British accent being entirely contrived and ridiculous (which it was).

I do feel bad for Max in the sense that - if tea is to be believed - they threw her under the bus in her final episode and made it look like she took time out, acted a diva, and started singing by herself, sat down, on the runway, when in reality Ru/the producers suggested she distract herself whilst they adjusted the lighting and took a break. She was strong in the Despies episode (but again, that's a sore spot for me since Kasha Davis went home for NOTHING in that episode) and almost all of her runways were absolutely killer:







However the overall feeling I have of Max is an overwhelming... "meh". I can't root for someone who's so obviously not being themselves. And that Sharon Needles snatch game is perhaps the worst of all time, like wtf were you thinking, girl?

Memorable quote(s): "I feel very uncomfortable right now." re: Pearlgate
Best Runway(s): 100% her Jetset Eleganza with those tote bags
Best Moment(s): Erm...

[Daniel-X]

Cynthia is great TV but she kinda sucks at Drag Race

[Shaun]

74th Place: Miss Fame (Season 7) - finished 7th

With every rewatch I do gradually thaw from my frosty hatred of season 7, because whilst Miss Fame is exactly the sort of character who lasted far too long on a season full of other, similarly subdued and superficial queens, a few of them were pretty memorable and solid competitors. Should Miss Fame have outlasted the likes of Jaidynn, Kasha and Trixie though? It's a no from me.

I'm not a hater of Fame by any means, but if you look at the season objectively there really aren't any highlights for her that someone else didn't do far better anyway; she was in the top for the first week's mini fashion-runway but was still destroyed by Violet Chachki, and she performed pretty solidly at the DESPY awards with a quip about "the tapeworm that snatched [her] body" and some great facial reaction shots, but was once again outshone by Pearl, Max and Ginger. She was allegedly in the top for the Shakesqueer challenge, too, but does anyone remember why? no me neither.

Unfortunately for Fame, every other episode was a struggle for her and she just...didn't connect with the judges or the viewers, really. Like Violet, she divided opinion among the fans for being robotic, but beautiful, and whatever quirks she managed to inject were a little meagre compared to her competitors. I don't understand at all how she avoided lipsyncing for Snatch Game with a HORRIBLE Donatella Versace impersonation (Jaidynn sending Max home? At least Jaidynn made jokes. And looked better in leather/lace than Fame ) Fame also bombed at the Ru Hollywood Stories, Glamazonian Airways, and Spoof challenges - but FINALLY landed in the bottom two for the Divine acting challenge.

Even if you ignore the fact that her lipsync with Pearl was inarguably the worst of all time, you just can't really see Miss Fame as a Drag Race legend. She's awkward, uncomfortable, robotic and pristine, sure, and whilst she's an incredibly beautiful and talented drag queen, I just couldn't find anything about her to place any higher than this. I'm 100% sure she's one of those queens who'll never do All Stars, just because she's become something huge off of a pretty lacklustre showing and would almost certainly tank against some of the show's other legends.

Memorable quote(s): "How's your head?" "..... fine "
Best Runway(s): Most are great, but I would opt for her Green Runway: took the literal, put a twist on it, and delivered one of the most beautiful colour combinations the show has seen.




Best Moment(s): Helping Katya through her anxiety attacks was adorable, but obviously she is best known for her chicken noises My personal favourite was her hilariously awkward entrance (the first into the room, but still delivers a weird clunky catchphrase to NOBODY ), and ripping off a chunk of Max's newspaper prop to dab her cheek

[TomC]

Awww I really liked Fame. Her runways were always stunning and I thought it was criminal that Pearl got to stay over her.

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by TomC

Her runways were always stunning and I thought it was criminal that Pearl got to stay over her.

Agreed 100%. Her staying over Pearl, and then finishing 6th/5th whilst Kennedy or Katya make the top 3 would've made Season 7 so much better.

Assuming Fame isn't a good dancer, she'd have had the "too many chances" edit in that Man/Woman dancing challenge and finished 6th, Trixie makes top 5 and probably beats Katya/Kennedy in the Hello Kitty sewing challenge, so Katya still finishes 5th, and then Trixie ends up 4th most likely

Would've made the arc for Violet winning a lot stronger, being up against TWO bitter old ladies rather than just one. But would've been an incredibly strong top 3, too.

[Shaun]

73rd Place: Ivy Winters (Season 5) - finished 7th

Heading dangerously into the territory of this list where all of you start to whine "but Shaun she should be higher " now, and next to get the chop is a name you can no longer say without the chilling, grating cadence of LaToya Jackson: EYE VEEEEEE WINTURRRRRRRRRRS.

Long before Ivy was the single line that landed Eureka in the bottom two in Season 10, she was an actual drag race queen and handed a very flattering and adorable edit in Season 5. Even as I prepare to dive into explaining why I'm ousting her already, I'm starting to feel guilty: Ivy is one of those queens wished for every time the casting rumours start buzzing for each season of All Stars, and with good reason. Many other queens have waxed lyrical about Ivy's many, many talents: she's a circus performer, a costume designer, a carpenter, made quilts, made stop-motion Claymation for his own music video, a basket weaver, she stains glass, makes her own jam, her own CHEESE... honestly, head to her Instagram and you'll find a new arts and crafts upload pretty much every week. She is insanely artistic and talented.

However, all of that... just didn't really translate to Season Five, and I won't argue that this was all her fault. I've said it a lot on here: Season 5 was an amazing season, however it was also exhausting and so driven by the same, tiring storylines (Coco vs. Alyssa, Rolaskatox vs. Jinkx) that anyone who didn't quite make the cut... was cut. It was thus inevitable that once all the filler dried up, Ivy would have to go before Coco & Alyssa. And it's not exactly unfair, either: Ivy bombed Snatch Game with a terrible Marilyn Monroe, she put together a confusing advert for her perfume, and delivered a pretty abysmal roast (but in an incredibly tough lineup, to be fair to her). But was she really, on the whole, worse than Coco or Alyssa? No - but unfortunately those two happen to be the strongest lipsyncers the show has ever seen.

In terms of storyline, she deservedly takes Miss Congeniality from Latrice Royale, and is liked by pretty much everyone; a little too much by Jinkx Monsoon, in a hilariously awkward storyline that saw Jinkx reveal to the workroom that she has "a crush on Ivy Winters". That reunion moment is exquisite schadenfreude, do watch. I still scream whenever I rewatch that episode, because they REALLY TRIED to make the 'Coming Up!' edit look like Ivy, crying and saying "I LOVE YOU", was really to Jinkx when it was actually to her Mom in a phone call home sf messy

As for Ivy's on-show strengths? She won the Can I Get an Amen? challenge and did exceptionally well at most of the others - Wikipedia has her Week 1 as a "HIGH" placing when she was criticised for not wearing anything that resembled trash, though, so perhaps she is being oversold - and was great at the Untucked Lipsync with Honey and Lineysha. She was also a capable dancer in the demanding ballet challenge.

With the number of Allstars seasons churning out now, it surely seems a matter of time before Ivy is cast, and she's definitely one I look forward to seeing compete to see what new talents she has to offer: it's just with Drag Race there's such a huge emphasis on comedy and lipsyncing and it's a shame really that those don't seem to be her forte.

Memorable quote(s): "She can't pull off 'crazy garbage'. She'll be going home before me " - about Coco Montrese
Best Runway(s): It's a close tie between her Cher replica and the dress she made out of pictures of herself.
Best Moment(s): Erm...