[Matthew.]

They’re talking about it on Loose Women just now, but what do you think?

Vote in the poll ⬆️

I don’t think so.

[Niamh.]

Of course not, what a ridiculous idea.

[Denver]

Yes bad parenting leads to kids being bullies

[Nicky91]

no, of course not

[Toy Soldier]

No, because the idea that parents have FULL control over their children's behaviour at ALL times is a complete, and dangerous, illusion. Just because they're kids doesn't mean they're not individuals with free will.

A kid being a (serious) bully can often be an indication of troubles at home. I would add to that that "serious" is important here; the uncomfortable truth is that almost all children will engage in mild non-physical bullying at some point. It is also not ALWAYS an indication that anything is wrong at home.

A kid who is a known bully continuing to bully does not always mean that the parents are unaware or aren't actively trying to do something about it. There's no surefire way to get it to stop. Parents and schools can be doing their best, working together, and still have a child with troublesome behaviour. Frankly... for most it's a phase that most just grow out of. I know that isn't much comfort for those who are being bullied, but it is what it is... and often the best solution to a serious one-on-one (or several-on-one) bullying situation is simply to try to ensure that the opportunity doesn't arise / those kids aren't together unsupervised.

In short it's a ridiculous idea that assumes kids are robots and that if you "do the right stuff" they will be perfect. It's just not the case. By all means take a look at the parents, but if they're genuinely concerned and engaged in trying to sort it out then that's really all there is to it. If they don't seem to care / aren't bothered about finding a solution / are actively doing something that's causing their child to lash out, that's another story, but honestly those cases are nowhere near the majority. Most parents are horrified when they find out their kid is bullying, and even more horrified when they can't figure out why, or how to convince them to stop.

[Ashley.]

That's quite absurd, especially if the child is at an age where they are responsible for their own actions. Home visits to assess quality of parenting and living conditions should be the way forward, that way you're not directly blaming the parent but trying to find the cause.

[Lostie!]

"Blame the parents!!" is such a tired cliché. Of course some bullies are products of their upbringing but any suggestion that all are is nonsense.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

No, because the idea that parents have FULL control over their children's behaviour at ALL times is a complete, and dangerous, illusion. Just because they're kids doesn't mean they're not individuals with free will.

A kid being a (serious) bully can often be an indication of troubles at home. I would add to that that "serious" is important here; the uncomfortable truth is that almost all children will engage in mild non-physical bullying at some point. It is also not ALWAYS an indication that anything is wrong at home.

A kid who is a known bully continuing to bully does not always mean that the parents are unaware or aren't actively trying to do something about it. There's no surefire way to get it to stop. Parents and schools can be doing their best, working together, and still have a child with troublesome behaviour. Frankly... for most it's a phase that most just grow out of. I know that isn't much comfort for those who are being bullied, but it is what it is... and often the best solution to a serious one-on-one (or several-on-one) bullying situation is simply to try to ensure that the opportunity doesn't arise / those kids aren't together unsupervised.

In short it's a ridiculous idea that assumes kids are robots and that if you "do the right stuff" they will be perfect. It's just not the case. By all means take a look at the parents, but if they're genuinely concerned and engaged in trying to sort it out then that's really all there is to it. If they don't seem to care / aren't bothered about finding a solution / are actively doing something that's causing their child to lash out, that's another story, but honestly those cases are nowhere near the majority. Most parents are horrified when they find out their kid is bullying, and even more horrified when they can't figure out why, or how to convince them to stop.

I agree with this, T.S.

In my long experience, bullies are generally troubled people who suffer from deep insecurities and a hidden inferiority complex - and this usually begins in childhood.

I also agree with Ashley that 'Official'' home visits to assess the quality of parenting is a must in school-bullying cases.

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

"Blame the parents!!" is such a tired cliché. Of course some bullies are products of their upbringing but any suggestion that all are is nonsense.

I've seen quite a few cases of children who were once bullied ending up becoming the bully of others. In this case it was never the parenting but the child's own feelings towards others based on their own experiences. Other cases, such as a death in the family, the lack of a mother/father figure can lead to frustration that is displaced on to others. I do believe that bad parenting is a major contributor to how a child behaves, but it's nevertheless a complicated area and there's no saying there can't be other reasons too.

[armand.kay]

Ffs where the **** do the loose women find these debate topics

[Greg!]

99% of the time if the kids are scum then so are their parents, so yes they should imo if there's evidence they aren't doing anything to try and stop it

[Northern Monkey]

No.Parents can’t control what their kids are doing at school.That’s what teachers are paid for.

Parents can teach kids not to bully the best they can but they can’t control them when they’re not even with them.

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

No.Parents can’t control what their kids are doing at school.That’s what teachers are paid for.

Parents can teach kids not to bully the best they can but they can’t control them when they’re not even with them.

Teachers are paid to educate children, not care for them.

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

Teachers are paid to educate children, not care for them.

Who’s responsible for their wellbeing while they’re at school then?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

No.Parents can’t control what their kids are doing at school.That’s what teachers are paid for.

Parents can teach kids not to bully the best they can but they can’t control them when they’re not even with them.

Yep, I think if the parents of bullies are not cooperating or helping the situation when informed by the school then maybe it's worth thinking about but if they are then you can't punish them for it imo

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yep, I think if the parents of bullies are not cooperating or helping the situation when informed by the school then maybe it's worth thinking about but if they are then you can't punish them for it imo

Yeah,There’s only so much a parent can do.You can teach them the best you can but then what can you do when you’re not with them?

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

Who’s responsible for their wellbeing while they’re at school then?

Whether they're responsible for a child's wellbeing is a whole different topic - teachers shouldn't be held accountable or be seen as at fault for the behaviour of a child when they have about thirty other children to teach and grade. You can't expect a teacher to do a parent's job, especially when they may have children of their own.

I think people ask too much of teachers, these days.

[Tom4784]

I think the home life of bullies should be investigated to make sure the problem isn't down to the bully's home life but to charge every parent of a bully is ridiculous.

Some kids are naturally just awful and it's not something that you can always blame the parents for. If a parent provides a loving home and support but the child still turns out to be a twat then it's not on the parents.

[Vicky.]

No, its a silly idea. Tbh the current 'rules' about a parent being able to be prosecuted for attendance is quite stupid too. My parents could not have made me go to school once I passed about 13..I mean they could literally take me into class, but I still would have ****ed off at the first opportunity. There was really nothing at all my parents could do about my behaviour. I still passed all my exams though, despite hating school so much I only really went in 2/3 days, and even then only with lessons I liked :S

[Livia]

As someone who was bullied, I have to say I'd be surprised if the parents were aware of what their little angels were doing to other kids. A parent is responsible for their child until that child reaches 18, I think the parents should be more involved in what their kids are doing, not just with bullying but with other stuff, knife crime, drugs... I'm a little tired of seeing people on the telly saying how awful it is for kids, no youth centres, not enough youth workers, teachers should take some responsibility... the only thing I haven't heard yet is that parents should take some responsibility for the actions of their own underage offspring.

[Kazanne]

I have seen some awful videos on FB of kids being bullied it's horrible to see, many of the bullies are feral little thugs who gather in groups to pick on one girl/boy, I do think parents if they are doing their job properly will be aware where there kids are , who they are with, and if they are found to be bullying would give them the punishment they deserve and all through their life just teach them to be kind and to understand feelings aswell as physical stuff hurts. parents cannot be with kids all the time but good parents will be alert , sadly a lot of parents don't give a **** who their kids are harassing and bullying, and sadly some other poor kid suffers. So I do think lazy parents should shoulder some of the blame.Criminal charges might be a bit much unless it happens over and over by the same kids.

[smudgie]

No, but I do think it should be brought to the attention of the parents who could then have the opportunity to stop it.
If it persists then expel the little twats.

[parmnion]

The parents of the bullied child should be able to file charges against the school, imo.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by parmnion

The parents of the bullied child should be able to file charges against the school, imo.

Not straight off the bat because it can be covert bullying in some cases; BUT when it has been brought to the attention of the staff, if they then fail to protect the child adequately then I agree parents should have a way to take action against the school.

I remember kids being picked on mercilessly... And not just by "bullies" - I'm more talking about the unfortunate kids who were picked on by almost EVERYONE... Teachers saw it, knew about it, and turned a blind eye. Which is really pretty awful.

[ethanjames]

if the parents recognise what the kids have done is wrong and the bullying has nothing to do with the upbringing just the kids personal problems then no but otherwise yes. ive been bullied a lot and its different with every situation