[Calderyon]

On 20.1.2019, My precious Big Brother, aged 42 years at that time, caught a lung fever which turned to flu/influenza, which ended him up in the hospital emergency ward, first to the containment area, then to the normal one.

After 30 days of lying in bed battling and various things happening and problems emerging with his lungs (including a hole in the large intestine which was sewn blocked and then they put a ostomy/stoma on his stomach) and apparently with his kidneys, since they had to have a dialysis machine with him we still thought that everything would go right somehow as the doctors and nurses reassured us we were always making progress.

However his lungs were too weak to breath on his own and he had a respiratory tube in his throat (trakeostomy) to help him breath as well as every medicine available pumped to him to make him recover. His lungs infection levels were dropping due to the medicine, and rising and the dropping again, all the way to 10, but his lungs were still too damaged and weak to breath on their own (Have to mention that he was an avid smoker). They had tested this on multiple occasions. The weak state of his lungs caused the main problem... his heart started to fail as he was having cardiac arrhythmia, first just one and then nothing in a while, then they started to come more often and often and often, but we still thought everything would be alright and he would recover as we were reassured .

On the day of 21.2.2019 at approximately 8:00 PM Local time (6 PM UK), a doctor called and said that the cardiac arrhythmia´s had increased and that they had to resuscitate him in order for him to stay alive and thing are critical, but they are trying everything they can to save him.

At approximately 12 AM midnight (10 PM UK), they called for me and my father to come to the hospital cause apparently the end is near. We managed to get my uncle to come and take us there and my other big brother took a cab cause he was living farther away.

We arrived to hospital and had doctor fill us in and then we went to where my brother was in and sat around him and realized things were in a gloomy state. After over an hour or so, with all of us pleading and trying get him to fight as well as praying to god etc. his situation just worsened and worsened and then at approx. 2 AM (12 AM UK), my big brother couldn´t fight any longer and... passed away. We still tried to get the nurses and doctors to try one time to save him and tried to talk to him several times, but it was no use... he was gone. Nothing was to be done anymore.

My precious Big Brother who i love so much had died at the age of 43. On the night following his birthday (his birthday was on 20th of February) 21.2.2019 was the date he slept away calm.

Leaving everyone of us in deep grief, distress, misery, agony and longing. I miss him so, so much already and am in a misery.

I don´t know... what to do anymore. Everything seems completely pointless at the moment. I just want to cry and rage. I´m at a loss.

[Barry.]

I'm so sorry Calderyon for your loss. You have people here to talk to if you need.

[Cherie]

Omg Cald, I am in tears after reading that, so sorry its really hard to know what to say, grief is devastating especially when someone so close is taken so suddenly, thinking of you and your family at such a time of great sadness

[SherzyK]

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss Cald. I know words aren’t enough but just know that there’s people on this forum you can talk to, including myself and that you’re never alone. May God make it easy for you in this tragic time and I hope you find peace soon. And I know it’s cliche, but I’m always here for you.

[Oliver_W]

</3

[thesheriff443]

Try to stay strong not only for yourself but your family and the memories and love for your brother.

It’s going to be hard as you were given hope and had hope that he would recover, wish I could take your pain away, your forum family are with you!.xx

[T*]

I’m so so sorry calderyon, that’s awful

[Babayaro.]

Omg, that's so sad Cald

Stay strong

[Tony Montana]

I’m truly devastated to hear about your loss, Cald

My deepest, deepest condolences to you and your family

[Ant.]

Calderyon I'm sorry for your loss, stay strong

[RileyH]

Cald RIP to your brother

[arista]

Sorry for your loss

[Lostie!]

So sorry to read this Cald

[Mokka]

Oh Cald </3
Thank you for sharing your grief with us. You are much loved on here by many for many years now, and here you have many sympathetic and caring ears to share and vent to. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, and I dont think there is anything I can say to you to make it easier. Know you are in my thoughts and heart today, and if there is any words that can be shared going forward, by you or me, to easy your sadness... my pm box is always open.

[Niamh.]

I'm so sorry Calderyon

[Morgan.]

I'm so sorry Cald, this is horrible

[Natalie.]

I'm so sorry Cald

[LukeB]

</3 Cald! I'm so sorry for your loss, always here if you need to talk

[hijaxers]

Oh my gosh Cald i really felt your pain reading your account of what a very hard time you have been having ,losing people you adore is so very very hard and I as we all do here send our deepest condolences to you and your family.
You will all need each other for support and we are always here for you in your hard days ahead.

I have just lit a candle in memory of your brother.

[AnnieK]

I am so sorry to read this Cald. I lost my mum still quite young 4 years ago after a short illness which took hold very quickly and so I know how you must be feeling now. Cry if you want, rage if you want, let your emotions go and just feel how you want to feel at the time. Everything will be bleak at the moment and for some time to come. Remember your brother before he was ill, talk about him, try to think of the good times, the times he made you laugh etc etc but most of all look after yourself. Much love xx

[Epic.]

That's really sad, let us know if you need any support</3

[Wizard.]

That's heartbreaking Cald He seems like he was a great brother to you and someone who you could look up to. My sincere condolences, and I'm sure everyone here wishes you and your family some comfort in this time of grief

[LeatherTrumpet]

Heartbreaking news Caldy. Its going to a hard time for you coming up and no mistake. Only time will make things gradually better. Condolences to you and your family.

[Eddie.]

Oh dear Cald sorry for your loss

You can take all the time you need to recover from this, we'll always be here ready if you need someone to chat to.

Stay strong.

[Kazanne]

So,so sorry to hear the sad news,nothing will make things better for you ,time will heal,but you will never forget,he will live forever in your heart.BIG hugs for you x