[Sticks]

I am probably asking for this, but I thought that it might be an idea to have a thread where others can give some kind of feed back to the creations that have been made, and possibly exchange tips.

I know someone found my last series confusing, was it too labyrinthine?

[DreadPirate]

Good idea Sticks, just what's needed.

Some good ones ive read so far are The Resistance by Chewy, The adventures of Cujo man by Cujo man and The mystical realms by Mr. Sticks.

Magic Shoes' Snow White story is very good too.

(Ive deleted my replies in the story threads so it doesnt spoil their flow)

[Scarlett.]

Thanks, I enjoy your storys too

[cujo-man]

I did find your series a little over-complicated Sticks (too clever or me, with all your computer lingo: IP?). Still, I did find the basic idea of it fun, with the whole forum thing but with the stylings of the Lord of the Rings - funny stuff with the whole "we had lost the battle. Brian had won".

So yes, to be perfectly honest it was good but a little confusing.

[Magic]

I like everyones story so far, and I find Sticks rather funny. I still have Cujo-Mans to read, but I will review them soon!

P.S - How can I Improve my story?
P.P.S - Can someone who is good with Dialouge add to the Interactive Story?

[Scarlett.]

Your is good so far MS no need for improvement

[Magic]

Can you all give me advise on how to improve please.

Chewy yours is good!

[Scarlett.]

You could make each episode (or chapter) longer
Have either good descriptions of things or lots of action/conversation
Always leave the audience on the edge at the end of each Chapter/Episode

[Magic]

Originally posted by Chewy
You could make each episode (or chapter) longer
Have either good descriptions of things or lots of action/conversation
Always leave the audience on the edge at the end of each Chapter/Episode

Ok, I have started writing in the first person context, so I wil introduce Diaolgue halfaway through, when the past can become the present tense.

I will try and make more action/Description, and make bigger cliffhangers.

[Scarlett.]

Coolio

[Sticks]

I am still mulling whether I am better at first person or third person

[Scarlett.]

I wrote a seires called "The Wind" for 10 years (I was 4 when I began and 14 when I finished) I wrote it in 1st Person, but things got messy as I had to concentrate mainly on one character, and couldnt switch to others.

I am currently working out a way to bring it back, as it was a messy ending.

[Sticks]

Remember this is the thread for commenting on peoples efforts, rather than breaking the flow, if they like me, do things episodically.

[Sticks]

Well the 4th Season premier of the Mystical Realms sagas have started

Thoughts so far?

So far it is the first one where I have not referenced Big Brother

[Sticks]

Hello?

sound of an echo in an empty cavern

[Scarlett.]

I like it although its a bit confusing

[Magic]

As I didnt read all of your first ones, i dont know who Fidelity is.
But, OMG, who is in the car??

Can you read and comment on mine please sticks? Pllllease?

[Sticks]

This bit first

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
Can you read and comment on mine please sticks? Pllllease?

I like the concept, although the original fairy tale involved a mirror as a scrying device, that the wicked queen used to discover that the woodsman had not executed her as he was asked to. I am wondering what the modern equivalent would be if magic is not resorted to.

Also like mine, being in the first person, you only have one characters view point. Because of how the original progressed, that could be kind of awkward, so am interested how that will be done

Another minefield has to be the seven dwarfs, because, and this is for real, Hull City Council banned that pantomime from all council properties, on the grounds that "dwarf" was insulting to vertically challenged citizens. I was surprised they missed the blatant racial side of the title...

Now this bit

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
As I didnt read all of your first ones, i dont know who Fidelity is.

You really need to read through the entire thing, as it is explained there

However, if it helps I have created this thread

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
But, OMG, who is in the car??

Tune in next time

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Chewy
I like it although its a bit confusing

Which bits are confusing?

[Sticks]

I just had to add a further bit to the details about the Spirit of Fidelity on this thread

[Magic]

Originally posted by Sticks
This bit first

I like the concept, although the original fairy tale involved a mirror as a scrying device, that the wicked queen used to discover that the woodsman had not executed her as he was asked to. I am wondering what the modern equivalent would be if magic is not resorted to.

Also like mine, being in the first person, you only have one characters view point. Because of how the original progressed, that could be kind of awkward, so am interested how that will be done

Another minefield has to be the seven dwarfs, because, and this is for real, Hull City Council banned that pantomime from all council properties, on the grounds that "dwarf" was insulting to vertically challenged citizens. I was surprised they missed the blatant racial side of the title...

Now this bit

You really need to read through the entire thing, as it is explained there

However, if it helps I have created this thread

Tune in next time

The Mirror was basically just the pervert men. And the Dwarfs... You will find out, although they aren't actually dwarfs.

And thanks, I read the thread and it cleared things up.

[Scarlett.]

Originally posted by Sticks

Which bits are confusing?

Not sure really, its good though keep it up

[Sticks]

Episode 2 is now available

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Chewy
[Not sure really, its good though keep it up

Thanks, if I can make a suggestion about the formatting of yours, please can you loose the centre justification as it makes the text for me at least harder to read.

Apart from that it seems ok conceptully.

[Scarlett.]

If you mean

This

I only use it for ads, but I'll not use it from now on

Thanks