[Stu]

A Heavyweight Sheep Production...

Created By Stu...





*All events described in this story are real , unless otherwise stated.





*None of the events in this story are real.







Dusk descends on Channel Four Towers. Three birds , four rocks , one boiled egg , a copy of the daily star , and Jade Goodys perfume fly past the window.



Mr Four : Alright men. We can no longer place Big Brother on one of our coveted Channel Four slots! Not with quality shows like Love Trap and How To Look Good Naked to air!!!

Mr Executive : We could place it on the sister channel!!!



Mr Four :PLACE A NON-FRIENDS SHOW ON E4? LEAVE NOW!

A black hole engulfs Mr. Executive , leaving only Mr Timid Guy In The Corner. And theirs a janitor , but we will ignore him for now.

Mr. Four :Any ideas?

Mr. Timid Guy In The Corner :Y-Y-Y , I mean , I , I , I think sir!!! More Four! The bastard child fancy pants channel!



Mr. Four : Dont be silly , nobody under the age of thirty watches that channel.

Mr. Four reaches for the phone.

Mr. FourTheir is one man who can save Big Brother as we know it!!!





































''Big Brother Producers Hijack? Talk to me!''





WELCOME TO TV PSEUDO REALITY TELEVISION HELL!!!


TO BE CONTINUED!

[Scarlett.]

lol
Terry Tibbs

[Magic]

Very Funny

[Hugo]

LMAO I have never switched More 4 on and I have it!

[Matt]

LMFAO Stu... best story ever

[Stu]

''...and so then the baby started crying , right? , so I took more of the candy. A man gotta eat love. What you gotta do?''

Mr. Four : Splendid story! Always the gentleman Mr. Tibbs!

''I give you a gentleman , I give you a better phone! I cant hear a thing love! Are you in the trenches?''

Mr. Four : : You could sort of say that. Ratings war. The like.

''And this is where Big Brother comes in? That pile of rubbish?''

Mr Four : I wont have you talk about such a great show like that.

''A great show? Ill give you that , but these last few years , man. What you need is an emergency meeting.''

Mr. Four : What for now? What do we tell the ten or so people out their who spend 24 hours a day watching the live stream of Big Brother? What will become of their summers?

''Ill give you an idea son. Now listen very closely.''




































Jon Snow : Im Jon Snow.

Jon walks towards the camera. Leers , messes with those empty sheets of paper he has to make himself look all proffesional , then leers again.

Jon Snow : Wecome to channel four news.

TONIGHT! Ramsays BEDROOM nightmare , Spears latest marriage , some thing to do with the prime minister , and Big Brother reveals its new presenter!

Jon Snow : For months , crisis talks have been a brew at the ominous Channel Four towers.

A clip is played showing various Channel Four employees jumping out the windows of the top floors.

Jon Snow : Attemps at saving popular reality television phenomena Big Brother have started , and emergency embargoes are in place.

Another clip airs , showing Big Brother producers at the water dispenser drinking water.

Jon Snow : However tonight we can reveal to you the new presenter of Big Brother! And that man is...































Jon Snow : Jon Snow...........

[Mrluvaluva]

Have you been taking something again Stu? You are bad!

[Stu]

Originally posted by Mrluvaluva
Have you been taking something again Stu? You are bad!

I will take that as a compliment. Truth be told , im making this up as I go along. I could probably spin something much better if I tried.

Besides , I cant see it lasting. Member interest in these fan fics aint that high.

[Mrluvaluva]

Originally posted by Stu
Im making this up as I go along.

Really?

[Jackie]

Can you put the mouse in their somewhere with Tibbs?

[Matt]

Originally posted by Stu

I will take that as a compliment. Truth be told , Im making this up as I go along. I could probably spin something much better if I tried.

Besides , I cant see it lasting. Member interest in these fan fics aint that high.

NOOOO! You gotta keep going, you're giving me a reason to come into this forum!

[Chri$]

hahaha This is Great!

[Stu]

Mr. Four. : Right , allow me to introduce myself. I am Mr. Four.

Fire errupts from the oval table of the top secret chamber basement of Channel Four Towers. Mr. Four walks in , accompanied by his own Channel Four produced entrance music - 'Evil ****ing bastard'.

Mr. Four. : Right , well , seeing as we are all here -

Mr. Four is stopped mid sentence.



Dermot : Sorry to bother you , eh , Sir , but we are missing one member of our executive board.

Mr. Four. : And who might that be , young one?

Dermot : S , Sir , Brian Belo Sir!

Mr. Four. In over 15 years , Brian Belo has never , EVER been an employed by Channel Four. Now get your head out of the lads arse!

Dermot : But sir I love him! I want him in Big Brother 9 or I wont do Big Brothers Little Brother anymore!

Mr. Four. Big Brothers Little what? I do not want to hear of your second tier sister show antics , you fizzeled up twat bag! The only things little in this room are my heart , Davinas ratings , and that thing in your pants!

Dermot storms off , dejected. Actually , he skips off. In a fairy suit. Drinking cider.



Davina : Sir with all due respect to my ratings , and my shocking presenting talents , we ARE still missing one member of this excutive board.

Mr. Four. : What are you even doing here? Jon Snow is the new presenter of Big Brother!

Davina : Yes but I was promised - by you , Sir - that I would always be taken care of by Channel Four as long as I was carrying a child!

Mr Four. : Christ. your knocked up again?

Davina : Err , yesir.

Mr. Four. : By who?

Davina : Hehe. Errr...












































Russell Brand : Dinkle! Ball bags! Sorry Im late! Im Errrrussell Brand!

[Captain.Remy]

Davina is georgous in this pic ! Anyway, as always, this is stunning Stu !

[Matt]

Top notch work Stu!

Stu should be Mr. Four!

[Magic]

That last was was by far the funniest!
Love It!

[Matt]

Will we be getting another installment of this fantastic story?

[Captain.Remy]

Message original : Matt
Will we be getting another installment of this fantastic story?

Yes please Stu, this was so funny !

[KKBL]

haha halairious especialy when Russel enters.

[Stu]

**** it - im gonna keep doing this. But you all gotta watch. And comment. Otherwise the funny stuff goes out the window and I switch to my Nude Night At The Opera project instead.

[Matt]

Originally posted by Morpheus
**** it - Im going to keep doing this. But you all gotta watch. And comment. Otherwise the funny stuff goes out the window and I switch to my Nude Night At The Opera project instead.

Oh I'll be watching and commenting alright!!