[Romantic Old Bird]

As you all know, Lee has been conducting a series of excellent interviews with our BB2 housemates, but capturing our Paul for posterity has proved to be difficult.

I am happy to reveal that Flossy and Bunty, two ladies of not dissimilar stature and years to myself and Peachy, (wink, wink) have managed to pull off the scoop of the century.

They have been granted an audience with the great man himself. An in-depth, soul searching, warts and all exclusive interview is planned in the very near future.

Let me explain a little to you about this sensational journalistic coup.

Flossy and Bunty have worked tirelessly toward this end on behalf of all womankind.

They too know that his splendour, his sage-like wisdom, and his naked upper torso should not and will not be kept from an adoring public.

Accordingly, Floss and Bunty have infiltrated the Reading branch of the Women's Institute and befriended a certain Mrs Irene Clarke, Paul's Nan.

Let me tell you all about it:

Sadly for the Women's Institute, the 21st century has not brought in the hoped for influx of new members, despite the daring new logo, and the nude calendar shoots.

So, when the two intrepid ladies offered to take over the newsletter, they were welcomed with open arms.

When I, sorry Flossy, mentioned that a high profile relaunch would help the publication, members were asked if they knew of anyone we (oh, OK, I admit it, it's me and Peachy) could interview. Irene somewhat hesitatingly put up her arm and volunteered that she had a rather famous grandson.

'Do you really?' asked Bunty, innocently, and before Irene knew what was happening she found herself chatting to Helen on the phone on their behalf.

'Hello dear, yes it's Nan!

No, I know you haven't got a Nan anymore dear. Paul's Nan.

Yes, Nanny Irene, that's right.

What's that dear? Of course you can call me Nan, I'd be honoured. You are practically one of the Clarke family now.

What's that dear? Oh, I know he hasn't, but he will do I'm sure. The Clarke men like to take their time, like to pace themselves.

Yes, it can be annoying. It's what?

Yes, I do agree, it does have it's advantages as well!

Now, can I talk to my grandson please?

Alright dear, yes, I will, what colour does your friend want the skirt of hers knitting? Blue?

OK, I'll do it just as soon as I can. Bye dear.

Hello Paulie, is that you? Are you alright love?

You're brilliant? Yes, I know you are!

You're always brilliant! You'll always be Nannie's special little boy, won't you?'

Irene turned at this stage to her new friends,

'He's such a lovely boy for his Nan, always smiling, such a sunny little chap. Potty trained at 18 months you know!'

'Oh, sorry Paul. What's that? Who am I talking too? I'm talking to my friends Flossy and Bunty, at the WI.

They want to interview you for our little magazine. You don't mind do you love?

What? Top shelf of the newsagents? No, I don't think our newsagent will stock it dear, but it's a good idea!

Sorry? Ohh, I see!'

'He's making a little joke about our magazine being X rated' Irene mentioned in another aside to her friends. 'He's so funny and clever'

'He does sound a lovely young man!' said Bunty enthusiastically. 'I do hope he will talk to us!'

'I'm sure he will. Just hang on a minute, he's fetching his diary. he's such a busy lad' said Irene.

'Yes ladies, I think you'll find he is living his adult life like an international pop star' said Madge, a fellow member, who was somewhat put out by all the attention that Irene's new friends were getting.

Irene looked her disdainfully before explaining to Floss and Bunty that Madge was just a jealous old bag.

'Hello again Paul.

When? May 3rd? Oooh, that would be lovely, I'm sure the girls would be able to make a Saturday.

Can they what? Hang on, I'll ask!'

iren turned again to Floss and Bunty, who were trying not entirely successfully at this stage, to look nonchalont.

'Paul asks, have you got transport?'

'Yes, yes, we have my motor bicycle!' answered Floss, trying not to appear too excited.

'Yes Paul, they have. OK.'

She turned to Floss and Bunty again

'He wants to know if can you make your own way over to Barnet?' asked Irene

'Gggggthlllllll' answered Floss, trying not to drool over her twinset.

'Is she alright Bunty?' asked Irene

'She said of course Irene' said Bunty, always the organised half of the duo. her
serene exterior belying the palpitations she could feel as her heart bounded excitedly in her ample bosom.

'That's settled then, 2pm, Paul's gymnasium next Saturday. He says he'll be well chuffed to be interviewed for our magazine, but he might be running a bit late. Apparently there's somewhere you can sit and watch them excercising while you wait, so you'll be alright. Anything for my Nan, he said! Isn't he lovely?'

'I can hardly wait to meet him', smiled Bunty, innocently, as she supported her by now quivering friend discreetly under the arms. 'And the address is?'.............................................. .................................................. ................................



So there you have it!

Flossy and Bunty have access to Mr Clarke, at his gym, next Saturday. They will be setting off early, straddling Floss's trusty Norton, to navigate their intrepid way through the North London traffic on our behalf.

We cannot be there with them, except in spirit. Join with me now to wish them well.
Such endeavor, such fortitude, Cockfosters Road on a Saturday!

They have asked me to approach you for ideas, and I have promised to forward your questions to them.


Please let me know what you would like to ask the one, the only, the incomparable, the breath-taking Paul Clarke!!!

[Sticks]

Is this for real, or just a R.O.B flight of fancy ?

My impression is that the pair are keeping Stum. from now on in

[Princess Pink Pants]

I dont think some people on this board no the difference anymore! Lol!

[chilledbootz]

In any event.....questions for Paul Clarke....erm how about Will you marry me? No that's too forward!!.....erm....will you leave Helen and come and live with me.......no that's too cruel and besides deep down I want them to be together...i do!!!!.

Seriously though, I think it would be interesting to know what his first day back at work was like and do his colleagues treat him any differently? God that's boring. Maybe i'll go with my first question after all

[jbellemeg]

ROB, I hope this IS for real.
How about asking him how he feel's about Alistair Mc Gowans views on Helen and Himself.
It would be interesting to know if he see's it as a laugh or is offended.

[cc100]

I KNOW THAT WE ALL WANNA KNOW THINGS ABOUT THEM TWO BUT IF I WAS THEM ID KEEP STUM AND JUST TRY AND BE AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE.

[Romantic Old Bird]

I think it might be timely to point out that there was a VIRTUAL in this heading which seems to have gone unnoticed!

Yep, this is another virtual experience folks. Much as I would like it to be for real!! Anyway, since when did reality get in the way of me acheiving anything!

So, rest assured! Just as Olga, Svet, and the gang carried out Operation Basildon, then Flossy and Bunty will bring you the answers to the questions they dared not ask before!

Admittedly, our disguises will have to be good, as it is not so long since we visited the IPS before. Some vestiges of memory may have remained.

Never fear, it will be an expose' to end all expose's. We will delve, we will explore, we will weadle out of the boy things about himself that even he had forgotten.

He will feel compelled to share his innermost thoughts and fears with us, for we are............................................... ..

TFLOTW! (Two Fat Ladies on the Web)

Not to be trifled with at any cost! :hell o:

[jbellemeg]

Caught out again.
That will teach me not to read the heading properly.

[Sticks]

Originally posted by jbellemeg
Caught out again.
That will teach me not to read the heading properly.

Sorry I do not agree. The use of the word "virtually" could have meant that there was an attempt at an interview in the real world, in the way the thread title was worded.

Also ROB is supposed to have her own forum for her flights of fantasy. This thread is not on it.

Mark, is it possible to move this thread to there so further confusion does not occur withthis thread.

[Romantic Old Bird]

Sticks, I will be happy to delete this thread if it offends anyone else.

I put it here because I put the whole Virtual Basildon thread here. No-one seemed to mind then, in fact you took a very active part in it as I remember

Oh, and whilst we're at it, please keep your to yourself mate. You post plenty of off the wall stuff on completely inappropriate threads, and we are happy to humour you.

Lighten up, no offence was meant, and no intention to deceive was inherent in my little story.

I am just trying to entertain.

[kaphc]

You wanted to entertain and you did exactly that ROB!!

Once again you have managed to make me howl with laughter!

[peachy]

Don't go all pompous on us Sticks, there's a good chap. I think ROB can post on here if she wants to. Why not?

Anyway, I go away for the week-end, come back and what do I find, I've been tossed aside like an old worn-out shoe, you've got a new lady friend and now to cap it all you've gone all pompous on me. Well, I can just about live with all that but I am beginning to despair of ever making you into a happy chappy. Shall I leave you alone? Do you want to grow into a miserable old git? Post up another picture to show me how you want to be, happy or miserable spreader of gloom, pomposity and despondency. Which it is to be, Sticks? Post up your answer.

:l ove:

[Sticks]

Item 1:
The other thread refered to was called Top Secret: Basildon Virtual Day Trip

There the word Virtual is used, so the context was immediately obvious, so no problem. Here the word used in the title is virtually which caused the confusion. There is a distinction.

One needs to be careful with words, (especially with pedants around )

Item 2
Peachy sorry you felt you were tossed aside, but I knew Sukysue long before TIBB or even before I heard of TBB. We have gone back quite a way as we campaigned together.

Item 3
Here is an old photo of me, in the style of Che Guvara

[Maggie]

I wish I could come

I think Flossy and Bunty need some help on Saturday poor old dears
It is the 4th on Saturday not the 3rd so they do need help, I will be happy to help

See you there ladies

[borisse]

With characters called Flossy and Bunty this annot be mistaken for reality
I enjoyed it any way

[monie]

Well done ROB, very funny, made me laugh the sight of two old girls on the Norton gave it away for me. Keep it up and you put your threads where ever you like. Just keep them coming Your postings make my day:da nce:

[blinkinlovely]

:dance :
Fantastico ROB....
Never mind the guy without a sense of humour .... just keep on entertaining us virtually or otherwise.

Sticks mate; get a life, cheer up etc blah blah

[jbellemeg]

Sticks, you are begining to get very boring with your comments.
You really are a figure of DOOM and GLOOM. Can't you find something nice to say to prove to us you arn't such a misery?
Lighten up for goodness sake. ROB is fab and her posts keep us all (except it seems you ) happy.
Keep it up ROB.

[Flossy2k2]

Hello Romantic old Bird. What makes you think I have interviewed Paul? I do wish I had, but am I getting muddled in my old age? I know you are so much younger than me but I'm sure I would remember.
I haven't read all the postings yet, but there are so many of them perhaps the answer is there?

[Romantic Old Bird]

What makes you think I have interviewed Paul?

My dear Flossy 2k2, a mere coincidence my dear. Floss Goodbody and her sidekick Bunty Galore are a couple of intrepid old boilers who have yet realise their dream of meeting and speaking with 'the one'.

The interview is scheduled for Saturday, so if you or anyone else has any questions for Paul, please let me know and I'll pass them on.

Surely you can all think of something you'd like to ask Paul?

[monie]

My question ROB forPaul would be
Do you ever go onto the TIBB site and what do you think of our ROBS wonderfull stories


:hello :

[borisse]

I have been instructed in the delights o f he who is know as Mr. Clarke by Flossy and Bunty [or Floss and Bunt as I have come to know them] By now he must know that if he 'crooked ' his little finger at me I would come running and give my all.

My question is this....

If he did 'crook' his little finger at me, which finger would it be?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You be with me,
And I'll be with you XXXX

[Romantic Old Bird]

Borisse, he would not need to crook a finger to me. Just one twitch of that finely honed brow, one glance and I would be undone, lost in the dark pools of his 'mad' hazel eyes, tracing my finger oo so gently over his well defined but not overly developed biceps...................................

Nurse, the screens!!!!!!!!!

[peachy]

Ok, I suppose I better join in as this thread has turned into a meeting of the Paul Clarke Appreciation Society.

Sisters, and fellow members, I'd just like to say, cooo! he war'n't 'alf lush in his blue boxer shorts. Bless his Little Cotton Socks and thank God for video

[Kaz]

Hi Floss & Bunty!

My question for Paul is:

When is he coming to visit me again to pose for my new avatar? We had SUCH fun together during the photo-shoot for my current one! It took absolutely ages to get the correct pose.

Turned out rather well though, don't you think? We must do it again soon!