[daniel-lewis-1985]

Im currently going through a bit of a ****ty spell with a close friend who has sadly become addicted to pain killers and sleeping pills (4 years). What makes me sad is none of us friends knew she was suffering with depression and anxiety and im finding it hard to understand why she didn't choose to confide in any of us.

Her supplier has stopped selling so she was forced to come clean with the doctors or would have been seriously ill from withdrawal. The NHS wont really do anything for her as she was buying the drugs. All they have offered is a course of diazepam for 2 weeks to taper off. Serious 4 years addicted to drugs and they expect her to be fit and well in 2 weeks?

She works hard so I suggested possibly paying for an intense rehabilitation facility but whatever she was earning went straight to the guy dishing out these pills....So angry. I went to talk to my gp about it (who now probably thinks im an addict) and asked if councelling was available to patients for free on NHS or groups and I was told no. Please tell me this is not the case meaning she only has 2 weeks to pull herself out of a huge hole.

Has anyone else been through this? Have you been addicted to anything yourself? I would love to hear both sides especially if anyone has been in a situation like she is.

Ive been through this numerous times with a family member who suffers a serious mental illness but never with such a close friend who is going to have to rely on us heavily im sure.

I want to be there for her but not make her feel baby sat.

All stories welcome.

Thanks xx

[Toy Soldier]

Well, I'll share even though it's not exactly a positive view on these things. My mum was an alcoholic for 10+ years. She went into hospital for the last time, and died of pneumonia/sepsis brought on by complete liver failure, earlier this year (March), 4 days after her 60th birthday.

First off, I would say don't dwell too much on the fact that she didn't confide in anyone. People get embarrassed about their own lack of control and find it hard to admit to themselves that they can't dort it out alone - let alone anyone else. My mum tried to pretend she wasn't drinking by putting her alcohol in coffee cups rather than glasses, she still did this for years after everyone knew about her alcoholism, and everyone knew what was in the cups (and she knew that everyone knew, too).

Secondly, you need to accept that there may be absolutely nothing you can do to help or to change the tracks for your friend. They will end where they end, it'll be completely down to who she is and whether or not she can pull out of it. You could drive yourself completely insane trying. Trust me. If you feel like you need to try because you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if it all ended badly and you hadn't, then you of course definitely SHOULD try... but, don't feel like you've failed her if nothing changes.

Unfortunately, in my opinion the same goes for NHS rehab-type-things. My mum was taken in several times for weeks / a month + at a time to "dry out" from the physical addiction, but obviously, it never lasted for very long after leaving. A week at most, I suspect. There's just no point - it's not the addiction that needs addressing first and foremost... it's the underlying problems that caused the addiction to develop in the first place.

That's the part that means it's entirely down to the individual... and that's why, to be honest, it might be the case that no one else can help. Just be close by, be as supportive as you can be, but without letting yourself get so sucked in that you can't take a step back.

Counseling for the underlying anxiety and depression issues IS available on the NHS, though, so I don't know why your GP said it wasn't. The bad news is, the waiting lists are long (ridiculously long - sometimes a year or more) and the counseling itself isn't on par with what you would get privately.

So... anyway... sorry if this is a bit bleak. If anything, all I would genuinely say is that these things really don't always have a happy ending and you might need to prepare yourself for that. It's OK (good) to care but it's not something that you can help to fix, and just be aware of when to step back to preserve your own mental wellbeing. As impossible as it seems, mental illnesses are "infectious" in many ways.

[Vicky.]

Counseling for depression is definitely available on the NHS. Plus a 'friend' of mine recently went to rehab on the NHS for alcohol issues, and another for heroin. Not too sure what your GP is on about tbh

[LeatherTrumpet]

depression is our national shame

one day we will understand it but not in this lifetime

as for alcohol, no one has a fecking scooby. the fact that the best "medicine" is AA tells you all you need know

[Kizzy]

This site is excellent for any queries or info on addictions of any kind, it's a really excellent source of support for addicts, friends or relatives.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/

This may be of interest too..
http://www.nwe-ukna.co.uk/meetings/

Now it's out in the open she will have your support and I hope she can beat her addiction, she's lucky to have such a caring friend.

[Mystic Mock]

I've not really had anything like this happen to me so I don't know what it feels like.

But good luck to your friend and that she has the willpower to pull herself out of this, and as others on here have said you and her family just need to keep on supporting her but not get too heavily involved.

[Mystic Mock]

I've not really had anything like this happen to me so I don't know what it feels like.

But good luck to your friend and that she has the willpower to pull herself out of this, and as others on here have said you and her family just need to keep on supporting her but not get too heavily involved.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by daniel-lewis-1985

The NHS wont really do anything for her as she was buying the drugs.

Fookin hell what sort of policy is that? 'You get yourself on drugs so you can get yourself off them.' Thanks clowns I guess I'll keep taking them then.

[lostalex]

I'm an addict. alcohol, smoking, drugs, food, codependency, sex. I haven't found any solutions yet, but i'll let you know if i do. My brother is a heroin addict and is on methadone, but he relapses often. I don't think enough is being done to find a solution for addiction. There really are no effective long-term treatments.

Unlike other diseases/conditions people feel like addicts deserve it, or are to blame for having the disease. so it doesn't get as much sympathy as other diseases, and doesn't get as much charity money, so there isn't as much being done to fix it.

[Angelika]

Originally Posted by daniel-lewis-1985

Im currently going through a bit of a ****ty spell with a close friend who has sadly become addicted to pain killers and sleeping pills (4 years). What makes me sad is none of us friends knew she was suffering with depression and anxiety and im finding it hard to understand why she didn't choose to confide in any of us. Her supplier has stopped selling so she was forced to come clean with the doctors or would have been seriously ill from withdrawal.

She works hard so I suggested possibly paying for an intense rehabilitation facility but whatever she was earning went straight to the guy dishing out these pills....So angry. I went to talk to my gp about it (who now probably thinks im an addict) and asked if councelling was available to patients for free on NHS or groups and I was told no. Please tell me this is not the case meaning she only has 2 weeks to pull herself out of a huge hole.

Ive been through this numerous times with a family member who suffers a serious mental illness but never with such a close friend who is going to have to rely on us heavily im sure.

I want to be there for her but not make her feel baby sat.
xx

I have worked with addicts and alcoholics in a rehab facility and just want to share a couple of points with you for your own safe-guarding.

Your friend needs to see someone about coming off whatever she was taking safely.

Many addicts become very devious about their addiction so I am not at all surprised to hear this problem was not shared with friends and family. Many addicts are in denial about the extent of their problem and often become dismissive about the severity of the problem, that is, if they accept they have a problem in the first place.

Addiction and the drive to obtain a "fix" alters behaviour. You may find a pattern of lying, stealing and deception and plenty of justification for wrong doing when they think they are being discovered.

Keep an eye on small valuables and money and don't enable the addictive behaviour. To be a good friend to an addict means having to say no a lot of the time.

The desire to kick a habit has to come from the addict. It only comes once the addict accepts he/she has a problem and has the desire to change. Sometimes this never happens successfully and sometimes it takes a number if admissions before the addict finally co-operates successfully and comes clean. Friends can be supportive during the period of rehabilitation but the real work has to be done by the addict. Good luck, it's difficult being a friend or family member of addicts. Addicts disappoint friends a lot and many are abandoned by friends in the end.

Be supportive but don't be a mug.

[Kizzy]

I appreciate you work with addicts but to label them all underhand thieves is a bit unfair, nowhere in daniels post is it inferred she has been untrustworthy.
All she is guilty of at the moment is not admitting to her friends she couldn't cope and not burdening with her problems, it's fantastic they want to support her.

[Angelika]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I appreciate you work with addicts but to label them all underhand thieves is a bit unfair, nowhere in daniels post is it inferred she has been untrustworthy.
All she is guilty of at the moment is not admitting to her friends she couldn't cope and not burdening with her problems, it's fantastic they want to support her.

I didn't say all, I said many! There is a difference.
Daniel said "all stories welcome" so any points made were for him to take on board or reject.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Angelika

I didn't say all, I said many! There is a difference.
Daniel said "all stories welcome" so any points made were for him to take on board or reject.

'You may find a pattern of lying, stealing and deception'

Your words.

[Angelika]

Originally Posted by lostalex

I'm an addict. alcohol, smoking, drugs, food, codependency, sex. I haven't found any solutions yet, but i'll let you know if i do. My brother is a heroin addict and is on methadone, but he relapses often. I don't think enough is being done to find a solution for addiction. There really are no effective long-term treatments.

Unlike other diseases/conditions people feel like addicts deserve it, or are to blame for having the disease. so it doesn't get as much sympathy as other diseases, and doesn't get as much charity money, so there isn't as much being done to fix it.

I'm pleased you shared with us that your brother relapses often, it's an important point to make.

Drug addiction is one of the most difficult conditions to overcome. It takes an enormous amount of effort from the person concerned.

Some addicts have gone into rehab and popped out the other side and stayed off drugs. Most have numerous bouts of admissions, expensive rehab before they can resume a normal life, others keep relapsing for decades. It's very difficult to manage and very frustrating and worrying for family and friends as well as a tremendous burden financially.

The public at large are unsympathetic towards addicts and addiction and I agree more research should be done in this direction.

All the best with your own fight and I hope your brother manages to beat his addiction soon.

[Angelika]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

'You may find a pattern of lying, stealing and deception'

Your words.

Yes, you may indeed!

[GypsyGoth]

I feel that people know the risks when they try addictive stuff, like liver damage, lung cancer. I don't have much sympathy for them.

[Kizzy]

Why would he, What would she steal?
From what he says she seems like a 'functional' addict, who only take something to feel normal, not for a high which would be why her friends had no clue.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

I feel that people know the risks when they try addictive stuff, like liver damage, lung cancer. I don't have much sympathy for them.

addiction has nothing to do with "trying addictive stuff" there are plenty of addicts that have never used a drug in their life. food addicts, anorexics, gambling addicts, sex addicts, codependency(abusive) relationships, are all part of the disease of addiction. The disease is not about the specific behavior, it's much larger than that. It's psychological disease that causes people to go to extremes. Addiction the psychological disease is not the same as chemical dependency.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

I feel that people know the risks when they try addictive stuff, like liver damage, lung cancer. I don't have much sympathy for them.

No offence but I don't think you have much experience with people with addictions or neither have you experienced anything like it yourself. You are quite young aren't you?

Thanks to everyone for your points of views and sharing your stories. There is no risk of her stealing ect shes a good girl, works hard and does not need to thieve and theres nowhere for her to buy these pills anymore she cannot get hold of them.

She seems to be doing really well but I know it must be really hard, probably putting on a brave face not to burden us. I did have a chat with her and she said she didn't want to tell anyone because she didn't want the attention and for people to think she was feeling sorry for herself or was looking for attention.

I kind of get that, a lot of people thrive on attention wether it be good or bad.

[Kizzy]

If I were you I would say to her it was a blessing or divine intervention that stopped her supply of these painkillers, Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDS) can cause serious gastrointestinal and heart problems. Now they can wean her off and assess her organs, as a young woman she'll no doubt be fine but it's good this came to light now.

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

I feel that people know the risks when they try addictive stuff, like liver damage, lung cancer. I don't have much sympathy for them.

Same tbh

[lostalex]

in my experience, the best way to deal with addiction is to offer a better opportunity. Sometimes, often times, people with addiction also deal with low self esteem or anxiety disorders, so including them in activities that will motivate them to work towards something healthy, giving them opportunities can help.

i'm just saying it can help, i'm not saying that it's anyone's job to CURE an addict, i'm just saying, giving them a motivation to improve their life can help, if you really want to help them.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Glenn

Same tbh

if everyone one knows the risks, just like you do, then why are there any addicts in the world??? you are not making a point at all.

or are you saying that you are stronger or more intelligent than people who get addicted? i assure you, if you think that, you are wrong. YOU are no ****ing genius BRO. don't be proud of yourself just because you aren't an addict, you aren't better than anyone.

actually there have been numerous studies that show that addicts actually have a higher IQ on average than non-addicts.

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

if everyone one knows the risks, just like you do, then why are there any addicts in the world??? you are not making a point at all.

or are you saying that you are stronger or more intelligent than people who get addicted? i assure you, if you think that, you are wrong. YOU are no ****ing genius BRO.

I smoke. I know it's probably going to give me lung cancer. I still smoke. I know the risks involved.

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

if everyone one knows the risks, just like you do, then why are there any addicts in the world??? you are not making a point at all.

or are you saying that you are stronger or more intelligent than people who get addicted? i assure you, if you think that, you are wrong. YOU are no ****ing genius BRO. don't be proud of yourself just because you aren't an addict, you aren't better than anyone.

actually there have been numerous studies that show that addicts actually have a higher IQ on average than non-addicts.

Get off your high horse. No where in my post did I say I was a ****ing genius.