[arista]

I assume its due to her age?



[A mother who breastfeeds her
6-year-old daughter, says she
has been called a paedophile after
sharing her story online.
Maha Al Musa, 52, says she has never
been personally attacked when
breastfeeding Aminah in public,
however she has received hurtful
comments online.
"I've been called a peadophile,"
the mum-of-three told
Channel 9's Inside Story.]


http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015...ushpmg00000067

[Ammi]

..I assume you mean due to the age of the child not the mum, that's confusing as the mum's age is in the title and it has no relevance...the paedophile thing is just stupid/people being idiots...although I personally don't understand breastfeeding at such an age because it's not weaning a child in their own independence....

[lostalex]

i think she probably does get some kind of thrill out of it. there's no other reason she would keep doing it.

and the fact that she posts about it online and does it in public just proves that she is doing it for a selfish thrill.

[arista]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..I assume you mean due to the age of the child not the mum, that's confusing as the mum's age is in the title and it has no relevance...the paedophile thing is just stupid/people being idiots...although I personally don't understand breastfeeding at such an age because it's not weaning a child in their own independence....

I think Down Under
it does

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by arista

I think Down Under
it does

..no, really Arista it has no relevance/the mum's age with this story and it's also not in the article title/it's the child's age which is...so is paedophilia just something that's associated with older people, then..?...really Arista, you're better than to slant the title like that and make an inference to the mum's age...

[arista]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..no, really Arista it has no relevance/the mum's age with this story and it's also not in the article title/it's the child's age which is...so is paedophilia just something that's associated with older people, then..?...really Arista, you're better than to slant the title like that and make an inference to the mum's age...

OK
I have Corrected the Title

[Toy Soldier]

The "natural" age of weaning (when a child would choose to stop themselves without encouragement) can be anywhere between 2 and about 8. It would be perfectly normal for "wild humans" to still be having breastmilk aged 6. Really, it's society and society's expectations that are "weird"... And also I suspect that people who see a child of any age breastfeeding and make a sexual connection are the ones who have subconscious psychosexual issues - not the one doing the breastfeeding. It is the observer making that link who is sexualising children.

As for where this problem comes from, I think it's the tendency to push children to "grow up" ever more quickly. The workload my daughter has in early primary school aged just 5, is MUCH more than when I was that age. The goal of our lovely capitalist way of life is to have parents back in work ASAP, and have kids away from their parents learning to be effective workers ASAP... So our perspective is skewed and we look at children as being older than they are.

A lot of the time my 5 year old speaks and acts indistinguishably from a teenager. But then at other times there are moments when it strikes me that she really is still just a baby.

[Kizzy]

Personally I feel it's down to the mother struggling with the transition from the mothering instinct, having a child at 46 and then feeding so long.
There is no benefit to the child I wouldn't thought past infancy, there are other ways to bond and stay close to your child, they are are also perfectly equip to ingest their own nutrients.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The "natural" age of weaning (when a child would choose to stop themselves without encouragement) can be anywhere between 2 and about 8. It would be perfectly normal for "wild humans" to still be having breastmilk aged 6. Really, it's society and society's expectations that are "weird"... And also I suspect that people who see a child of any age breastfeeding and make a sexual connection are the ones who have subconscious psychosexual issues - not the one doing the breastfeeding. It is the observer making that link who is sexualising children.

As for where this problem comes from, I think it's the tendency to push children to "grow up" ever more quickly. The workload my daughter has in early primary school aged just 5, is MUCH more than when I was that age. The goal of our lovely capitalist way of life is to have parents back in work ASAP, and have kids away from their parents learning to be effective workers ASAP... So our perspective is skewed and we look at children as being older than they are.

A lot of the time my 5 year old speaks and acts indistinguishably from a teenager. But then at other times there are moments when it strikes me that she really is still just a baby.

It would be acceptable for "wild humans" to dig a hole every time they wanted a sh1t, but it's not acceptable in "society". Breastfeeding a six year old IS weird, whichever way you spin it and I suspect the mother gets FAR more out of it than the child does.

[Kizzy]

It is maybe uncommon however the reaction that she is some kind of deviant is the thing I consider weird, it's sad when that response by society is less shocking than a mother breastfeeding :/

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Livia

It would be acceptable for "wild humans" to dig a hole every time they wanted a sh1t, but it's not acceptable in "society". Breastfeeding a six year old IS weird, whichever way you spin it and I suspect the mother gets FAR more out of it than the child does.

Exhibit A.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Personally I feel it's down to the mother struggling with the transition from the mothering instinct, having a child at 46 and then feeding so long.
There is no benefit to the child I wouldn't thought past infancy, there are other ways to bond and stay close to your child, they are are also perfectly equip to ingest their own nutrients.

It's possible that it's the mother pushing it and, if so, then it's potentially a problem. However, it's also possible that it isn't her pushing it, and whilst there aren't any massive positive effects to prolonging breastfeeding beyond around 2 or 3, there ARE some very real negative psychological effects to forcibly weaning a child before they're ready if doing so causes them distress.

As it stands, there's no evidence either way, and stating that it's driven by the mother is a complete guess.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Exhibit A.

I don't know what you mean.

[LeatherTrumpet]

you get wierdos and show-offs

case in point

[lostalex]

This woman is using her kid to get attention, just like parents who put their kids in movies or reality shows.

Clearly this woman is manipulating her child to keep doing this, because she tells the kid, this is ow i love you, i will reward you if you go along with this.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Livia

I don't know what you mean.

You're projecting your own issues with breastfeeding and suggesting that it's a universal issue. It isn't.

I can get on board with the idea that at this age, it obviously shouldn't be in public. But it's biologically normal, it isn't psychologically harmful to the child, and it's culturally normal in MANY countries. Your issue is that you personally find it weird and icky. I'm justly baffled as to why you think that's in any way relevant.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

You're projecting your own issues with breastfeeding and suggesting that it's a universal issue. It isn't.

I can get on board with the idea that at this age, it obviously shouldn't be in public. But it's biologically normal, it isn't psychologically harmful to the child, and it's culturally normal in MANY countries. Your issue is that you personally find it weird and icky. I'm justly baffled as to why you think that's in any way relevant.

it's not biologically normal at all. normal means that most humans would be doing this because of some biological need. clearly there is no biological need, and clearly this is in NO way normal.

This is clearly some psychological defect in the mother. This is very much an anomaly, not normal.

now just because it's not normal, does;t necessarily mean that it is wrong, but i would argue that it is wrong because she is literally using this child as a prop to get attention, and it provides no practical benefit to the child. it's purely for a sick need for attention.

[Toy Soldier]

Unless she's trying to breastfeed you, Livia? Is she? Has this woman tried to forcibly feed you her milk? Because that's a whole other thread.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by lostalex

it's not biologically normal at all. normal means that most humans would be doing this because of some biological need. clearly there is no biological need, and clearly this is in NO way normal.

You're confusing normality with conformity, though I can see where the semantics fail.

It has biological precedent and is not abnormal human psychology. If that's more helpful phrasing.

[arista]

Yes 6 year old
does not need to be breast feed
by that age its time to move on


Back on Topic

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It's possible that it's the mother pushing it and, if so, then it's potentially a problem. However, it's also possible that it isn't her pushing it, and whilst there aren't any massive positive effects to prolonging breastfeeding beyond around 2 or 3, there ARE some very real negative psychological effects to forcibly weaning a child before they're ready if doing so causes them distress.

As it stands, there's no evidence either way, and stating that it's driven by the mother is a complete guess.

Well yes it's a guess, I don't know her personally.
it's also a guess on your part that there would be psychological stresses to the child if she stopped, we all have had to end feeding whether breast or bottle most before we would maybe have wished to are we a nation of damaged people?.....er, don't answer that.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

You're confusing normality with conformity, though I can see where the semantics fail.

It has biological precedent and is not abnormal human psychology. If that's more helpful phrasing.

it's actually harmful to the child. the child should be learning how to find food on it's own, that is a normal biological stage of development. The child should be craving solid foods, and learning ways to acquire solid food to feed itself at this point of development.

at some point a healthy mother teaches her children to find their own food, it's a stage of development, instead this mother wants to make the child dependent on her. that is abusive. It's all about the mother wanting her child to be permanently dependent on her.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by lostalex

This woman is using her kid to get attention, just like parents who put their kids in movies or reality shows.

Clearly this woman is manipulating her child to keep doing this, because she tells the kid, this is ow i love you, i will reward you if you go along with this.

She MIGHT be and I'm not saying that this doesn't happen. For example, I'm dubious about her reasoning for posting it publicly and also for pursuing publicity in the aftermath.

The second paragraph, however, there is really no evidence for at all. It's unusual but, again, completely within the bounds of what is natural for the human species. Most children naturally (i.e. With no forcing or encouragement) stop breastfeeding somewhere between 2 and 4 but some will go longer. I find it fascinating that some people have such an extreme reaction to this fact. But not unsurprising in a world where a huge number of mums don't try to breastfeed at all, and the vast majority don't make it past a couple of months.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by lostalex

it's actually harmful to the child. the child should be learning how to find food on it's own, that is a normal biological stage of development. The child should be craving solid foods, and learning ways to acquire solid food to feed itself at this point of development.

at some point a healthy mother teaches her children to find their own food, it's a stage of development, instead this mother wants to make the child dependent on her. that is abusive. It's all about the mother wanting her child to be permanently dependent on her.

Solid foods start at 6 to 9 months in combination with milk. This argument is based on completely incorrect logic, Alex. Both occur simultaneously.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

She MIGHT be and I'm not saying that this doesn't happen. For example, I'm dubious about her reasoning for posting it publicly and also for pursuing publicity in the aftermath.

The second paragraph, however, there is really no evidence for at all. It's unusual but, again, completely within the bounds of what is natural for the human species. Most children naturally (i.e. With no forcing or encouragement) stop breastfeeding somewhere between 2 and 4 but some will go longer. I find it fascinating that some people have such an extreme reaction to this fact. But not unsurprising in a world where a huge number of mums don't try to breastfeed at all, and the vast majority don't make it past a couple of months.

I think it's important to teach children to be independent and confident in themselves as quickly as possible. It's important for parents to push their children to learn for themselves, take risks, and be able to provide for themselves eventually, obviously it's also important for parents to also be supportive and to care for children while they are learning.

I believe it's always a good idea to build children's confidence by encouraging them to be as independent as possible. It just makes more sense that a child that is more capable of thinking for themselves and providing for themselves will be more successful.

I believe this long term breast feeding movement by some mothers is not helpful to a child's long term development. i believe it is a form of co-dependency, and co-dependency is a very toxic form of relationships.