"Here's a fun fact - it's 210 times harder to get in Big Brother than it is to get into Harvard University."
Rebecca: "Raph. Raph. He's hiding shit."
Chanelle: "RAPH ARE YOU DEFINITELY GAY BECAUSE SOME GAYS PRETEND TO BE BUT THEY'RE NOT?"
"I don't like to spoon that much"
Day 2 (not a great day not gonna lie, Raph)
"The bathroom is like, a Barbie dream house"
Chanelle: "my cousin he's gay right and he's got a phobia of vaginas he thinks they're gonna eat him"
-raph starts crying more-
Day 3 (UTR Raph is in full-swing here)
"What are they arguing about? ...that's it?"
"As a fan, you never can predict who is going home"
(really this isn't a stellar Raph day at all)
Day 4 did not happen
"Can you explain to me, then, how...a fake boob?"
"I think you have a rocking body - from a very nonsexual perspective" @ Chanelle
saving Sukhvinder's sanity/marriage
Raph: Is there any alcohol left?
Kieran: No, they drank it
Raph: That's not the answer I was looking for
"Raph, Deborah, Kieran and Hannah are discussing what makes the perfect bum."
"How does it make you feel when everyone is going at you: doesn't it make you feel bad?"
"If you think that other people are being horrible, you shouldn't do something horrible as well."
Collecting Arthur's suitcases: "I'm sorry, dude" (STELLAR QUOTE THAT ONE AM I RIGHT?)
Chanelle: "Aw I loov Raph, it's dead funny cos you wouldn't think that we'd be quite close. Raph has taught me to think about shaving my legs, shaving my armpits etc, like why do women feel that pressure.... it's such a good point! But I do need to shave my fanny."
"It makes me upset when people just assume the worst... I wish him more than the best, for sure."
In the diary room: "We're like the outsider crew... the outsider crew that don't have a desire to be popular."
"I want to do something good for Arthur so I'm going to give it to someone who treated him badly in opinion. Whatever, I choose Joe to lose his luggage."
Chanelle: "You told me me shit don't stink when it does. How could ya lie to me?
Ellie: "Stop being an encyclopedia for Big Brother. We're here for our experiences, not past ones!
"Your mom [Mandy] was SO much more mature than [Joe]"
"Would it be cool if you didn't call me a prick? It kinda hurts my feelings."
Chanelle: "RAPH, please can you remove me from the situation?"
"I don't believe in banter with, like, women's looks"
"Hello my name is Raph, I will also be a housekeeper of the B&B you will be staying in. Thank you."
nothing else bc apparently this is the Lotan show
"What kind of tea do you want?"
"Housekeeper Raph has dropped into Chanelle's beauty parlor."
Chanelle: The best beauty therapists are in charge, and that's why I'm here.
Raph: I think I'm gonna come here every morning now.
Day 11 (2nd Live Eviction)
"It took them 3 days but we've finally got a day with everybody having fun." (I think this is about Channel 5 but I may be wrong)
Marnie: It's the best kiss I've had all year.
Raph: Oh wow! (I think this is Raph having a sarcastic dig at this dull storyline but I may be wrong)
Raph [to Ellie]: I dare you to make out with Marnie.
"I want Kayleigh to go. What do you mean aww? I feel like the house dynamic would get more positive if she left."
"I'm not here to stir shit 'cause I'm your friend."
"So fake it. I hate it." [re: Kayleigh] [just her]
"I have so much love for you Deborah." [me when I went to Paul Daniels' funeral]
"You know she's a mean girl." [@ Chanelle re: Kayleigh]
Day 13 (Raph's Birthday)
"Coming up: Raph get's pied."
[multilingual clip of Happy Birthday to Me here]
"Birthday boy Raph is blowing bubbles."
Chanelle: "BED BUDDIES. YAAAAAAY."
"On paper people might think Lotan is an attractive guy but to me he isn't."
12:05pm. Raph and Charlotte are talking about size.
"I don't like, like, too big."
Rebecca: What are you doing?
Raph: Getting some water. [YEAH THIS QUOTE LEGENDARY]
"Kindness is not a weakness."
"My first nomination is Tom. I think he cares a lot about airtime...
My second nomination is for Joe. Unfortunately I think Joe has been very very grumpy in his time in the house. He has not been kind to me. I think he still doesn't like me but is trying to force himself to like me because I have immunity... The way he talked to Rebecca yesterday was very disrespectful... to talk about her looks is very shallow. Girl power!"
"If I wasn't immune I'm sure I'd have been up."
Hannah: Oh, he heard something! Raphael, what happened?
"But it's mainly just the same conflict that's been going on all season really... one could interpret it as Chanelle causing all conflicts but I don't see it that way."
Lotan: What did you do with the butter?
Raph: I put an egg in it.
"I find it really interesting that people seem to think I'm really weak. You know me, now."
"Oh you're going to continue with the eggs!"
[re Isabelle] "She has a lot of tan on".
"I think what I like about Isabelle is that she was very nervous coming in here, like me. What I like about Savannah is that she articulates herself very well... I'm really enjoying myself, it's a fresh dynamic."
"Oh my god I just know who I want to go this week and it's not you [Rebecca], Hannah or Chanelle."
Days 17+18 I was away sorry x
"He would hate it if he lost" [Lotan]
"Hannah you've taught me how to throw shade, and catch shade."
Chanelle: "No, that's not where the clit is, Raph. That's just me fanny, Raph."
Raph: "Oh dear. That was a disaster. Gotta try everything once."
Chanelle: "It's like a sushi counter down my-"
Raph: "Well. I might be turned off sushi for life."
"Cheers to the Big Brother 18 Family."
Raph: "What does Casper mean?"
Deborah: "Casper's a ghost. They're gonna ghost her."
Raph: "Oh that's their conclusion to everything? That's a clique."
Deborah: "I will screw your bum-bum".
"My second nomination is for Tom. If I want to do something he won't do it unless Lotan or Kieran are doing it."
"I think you're trustworthy Chanelle because since day 1 you've always been kind to me... we're bed buddies, I think you're a wonderful person, I think you stick up for people when they deserve to be stuck up for, I think you're wonderful and I have a lot of love for you and that's why I think you're trustworthy".
"I just don't want you to get in trouble."
Chanelle: "Raph, this has come too ****ing far. Why is he still here when he does this to women?"
"It's like what I said to you the other day - call him a prick and call him a dick but don't, you know..." [Lotan]
"Peace love and harmony. That's all you need" - The stunning new single from Raph, Deborah and Isabelle.
"Isabelle, no matter how much people bring you down, you still stay strong and that's an admirable quality."
[He spends about 20 minutes praising Ellie but we don't need to quote that]
[sings Three Little Birds]
"I have to not laugh. Hmm. Chanelle is calling for you. Her stomach hurts, she asked me to get you."
"Right now, there's like 3 guys to choose from."
Joe: "I'm still gonna come third you bastard. Who's coming top, Kieran or Tom?"
"I haven't been attracted to anybody in this house."
"Raph is enjoying Deborah's mash."
"Much more positive day. I'd like to think we might pass this task? No isolation of Isabelle..."
"I've got a feeling it's gonna be one of us five" [evicted this week]
"If I could've voted I probably would've voted Labour. I voted for Donald Trump because I like the fact that he hasn't been involved in politics before. The climate in the US right now is so divided: extreme conservatives and extreme liberals... if you looked at his campaign, it diminished over time and was just for media attention."
"The divide IS so sad and I do want it to break."
"I feel like it's nice to get an economy budget because then if you get a luxury budget in the future you appreciate it more."
"In one night: [you pissed] the hot tub and the bed?"
"You shouldn't eat more than 3 eggs per day per person."
"If it hurts, you can stop. That's the motto of the class."
"That's exhausting spying if you ask me. I'd let them go."
"I never wanna be a meddler but I think you guys have such a lovely friendship that it's important to talk about this."
Ellie: What's your longest relationship, Raph?
Raph: 2 years, but that was with a girl.
Joe: At what moment did you 'know' then?
Raph: Really? When watching Niall [Horan] on the X Factor.
"It feels like our home."
"This room is real."
"I feel like Sam does NOT like me. Because obviously I was the one who was most adamant about bringing you and Savannah [Isabelle] in here."
"Hannah I'm so overwhelmed... I get nervous around new people you know what I mean?"
"It's so weird that they [new HMs] know our names".
"I'm excited for the competitions, I'm excited for the void... I feel like I get along well with Andrew... it's nice to have a non-lads' lad guy in here..."
"A lot of my friends had rather negative results and I'm sad about that."
*cries and is consoled by Legend Isabelle*
Andrew: "I think I'm falling in love with Raph, what the ****?"
Andrew: "Chanelle, look at MY handsome boy."
*Chanelle and Raph pull a duvet off Hannah's bed whilst she sleeps; Hannah responds by murdering Chanelle with a pillow*
Hannah: "That is why you do NOT mess with an African queen."
Sue: I would have picked [Andrew] and I would've picked Raph [to enter the Void].
"Hopefully it's like a geography challenge today."
"If I win the challenge later on I'm taking you [Chanelle] 100% to the Void. The reason I wanna take you is also that me and you have been up 3 times out of 4."
"I'm gonna say Raph." Big Brother: "Raph, you are correct."
"The second chance housemate I want to spend time with in the Void is Sam."
"He kinda talks in riddles and doesn't articulate the point he wants to make" [Joe]
"As soon as he knew you guys had the nomination power he jumped up to meet you..." [Joe]
Ellie: "Do you think any of them are playing a game in there?"
Sue: [Tom] cannot take any form of criticism. It's shocking. So that's why you can't back down, all you have to do is say you disagree with him.
Raph: Right, see, I would say Tom is 65% teenager.
"The second chance housemates have come in with their own opinions... I feel like a broken record talking about Joe all the time, but he's very negative all the time and very grumpy... when the second chance housemates found out they could nominate I could see a shift in his personality."
"At work I go by Raphael... my friends call me Raph anyway. I was born in Paris so my parents wanted to give me a French name."
Ellie: "Obviously Raph knows more about Big Brother than any of us in this house so why wouldn't he use that to win?"
Sue: "Because it's a game?"
"I nominate Joe because I think that he changes his behaviour in certain situations when people are in power to get something out of it... and I think he's here for the money and I don't respect that."
"I nominate Ellie for two reasons: the first reason is that I feel like Ellie talks about sex all of the time and I find it a little bit tedious to talk about sex all the time... she unfortunately I believe relies a little too much on male companionship."
Simone: I'm SO sorry [for nominating you]
Raph: It's OK. It's just because genuinely I thought very highly of you. I'm just upset because I thought I'd made a nice friend.
Sue: "UHHH HE'S WATCHED BIG BROTHER, HE'S PLAYING A GAME... Who do you think you are?"
Raph: "Yeah. Kieran for example says he's never watched it."
Sue: "Yeah he said it. He said it. Right... he's gonna apply for one of the biggest shows in the world but he hasn't seen an episode? Right."
"A bad thing about me which I'm learning in here is that I'm quite quiet and I don't say things because it stresses me out... every day is a learning experience [inner voice: haha you are so gone next week Ellie you desperate cow ]"
Joe: "He's too clever... he knows everything."
"There are certain people that I would never... [nominate].
"I was just saying she's not here for the money that's all."
"Horrible man" @ Joe
"You don't have to shout it. You don't have to call someone a ****er."
"Hey Joe. Can we like shake hands on it and start a fresh day today?"
-4 minutes of silence-
"In Big Brother in the past, with looks you can get away with a lot." [re: Kieran]... "he knows what to do for TV."
"We're such little kids hiding at the door." [@Isabelle]
"You want another hug? How many hugs do you want? You know I'm not particularly fond of hugs." [@Andrew]
Andrew: Raph! Let's high five! It'll be fun!
Raph: I don't know if it'll be fun.
"Maybe in the future I'll just say straight away 'no, this makes me uncomfortable. Please stop.'"
"Simone is leading Raph through a meditation session."
"Obviously yesterday night I felt slightly uncomfortable but not in the sense that I thought he had malicious intent towards me... we talked about it and obviously he's a tactile person and I'm not a tactile person... I've known Chanelle for over a month and she's my closest friend in here... it's not about how close I am to the person, I just don't like physical contact that much."
"Every house will have an alpha male."
Day 32 (Live Eviction #5)
"I also felt bad when everyone was like 'oh we know who the real Sue is now'... I just hope that she doesn't get isolated."
"Andrew is painting Raph's nails."
Andrew: "You actually have quite nice fingernails... they're quite wide fingernails."
Raph: "oh, really?"
"After topping a poll to find which person knows his housemates best, Raph... idfk idfk blahblahblah"
"I'll say Deborah because she has a nice bum?"
"aw I fucked up now. Forgive my language."
*housemates cheering his name in an eerie premonition of the final two*
"Issy! The silent assassin has returned!"
"Hannah is getting hands on with Raph."
Raph: "No I don't know if I like this actually."
"I'll talk to him sober."
"It's hard when it's already established... I think Sue wants the house mother role."
Isabelle: "You've given me two tan mitts - one for me and one for Raph!"
"Do you really think [Simone]'s that calculated, though?"
"Raph and Isabelle are talking about...boys."
Raph: Do you think Kieran is the most attractive here, right?
Isabelle: You think Tom, right?
Raph: I mean facially yeah... I get the impression that Kieran is submissive, yeah?"
"2:41am. Raph has a present for Andrew and Charlotte."
Andrew: RAAAAAAAAPH. GIVE ME A HUG. THANK YEW.
Sue, Chanelle, Raph and Isabelle are in Thorn Cottage talking about Tom.
Raph: "He booed Chanelle."
Isabelle: "You can never tell when it's banter though."
Raph: "Right, but he didn't boo Ellie."
"I think if you [Chanelle] were trying to exclude [Simone] you'd have told me to isolate her."
Chanelle: "Ok I'll stretch ya"
Raph: "No no, not that way"
Sue: Is there anyone in this house that you would consider, even for a second, dating them?
Charlotte: Andrew's heart has just broken.
"On the outside you have a close friend or family to talk to when you're upset, so you don't need to cry."
"If anyone could upset me in this house it would be you [Chanelle]. When you care about someone there's much more reason to be upset by them, do you know what I mean?"
Raph is next to be tempted by Big Brother for this week's shopping task
*A video from your sister Sophie*
"Hey Raph, I'm so glad you're having so much fun fulfilling the dream for both of us..."
Raph: "I love you so much"
Sophie: "I hope you win this because you owe me a vacation obviously. You're the queen of the house."
"It was beautiful... it was beautiful."
"You should call it a night, Sue."
"Just be strong and hope for the best."
Isabelle: Yeah totally x
Raph has noticed some of the alcohol is missing.
"Aren't they - the spiced rum and coke - for everybody?"
Kieran: At the same time everybody does it so why are you singling me out?
Raph: Because you took it!
"All I'm asking is for it to be here for everybody, that's all I'm saying."
Kieran: Rapha I weren't having a go *offers hand bc apparently that makes everything fine*
Raph: You were arguing with me *doesn't take hand because Raph > this STD riddled bore*
*rubs eyes in disdain over this "pass the parcel" nonsense*
Sue: For me, Raph, you can tell people's guilt by those who don't wanna talk.
Raph: Who are you talking about?
"Do you really think [Andrew] was different on the outside?"
Chanelle: "Ah for ****'s sake, my family are probably bankrupt trying to save me."
Raph: "Poor Nana Viv."
Isabelle: "Pressing a button in there doesn't prove who your friends are, 'cause I'm good friends with Andrew, Charlotte, you..."
Raph: "In my head, I thought Andrew was gonna save you."
Isabelle: "I thought, who was gonna save Sue? So I'm glad that you did that."
Chanelle is talking to Raph about targeting housemates
Chanelle: "We'll have to decide on someone."
Raph: "Okay. Have you decided anyone yet?"
Chanelle: "I think we'd have to say Sam... he's not been up yet."
Raph: "I think that's fair."
Chanelle: "I dare Raph to give me a lapdance"
Chanelle: "I dare you to give Andrew a lapdance."
Raph: "I won't do it. Give me something else."
Andrew and Raph are alone in the garden.
"My friends will always try to set me up and I'll just be like NO. NO."
Andrew: "I feel like we should just laugh about it."
Day 39 (Simone and Sue's evictions)
"Break down the news to everyone in here like we're all members of your family."
"See now that was good acting! I can never tell with Chanelle and Hannah."
"Today's been like the strangest day."
Isabelle: Big Brother's been really quiet.
*Sue and Simone remix Love, Peace and Harmony*
Raph: I liked the previous song better.
"No no no no fix it fix it!" Raph hon. We need to talk about dramatic setup.
Raph has something he wants to say to Sue.
"I like you Sue, I like you a lot. The only thing I don't like about you is when you misunderstand Chanelle. She's a nice girl Sue, she really is!"
Raph is up to no good.
*jumps at Andrew from behind the toilet door*
Hannah: I think it's not a big deal so I'll just say Raph is two-faced.
Raph: I think it's a weak choice! You know how much that word upsets me.
Raph is quizzing the housemates.
"What is the capital of Germany?"
Raph: Yeah nice! Uh, what's the capital of Denmark?
Raph: It's not just name other countries.
Chanelle: ****s sake. Iceland?
Kieran: Would you have saved Sue if there was no one else?
Raph: In that situation? No.
"I think Andrew and Charlotte have a very close relationship...which I'm glad, that Charlotte has someone like that... we're the two boring housemates, like proudly, together. I know she has a friendship with Ellie but I think Andrew has filled a void for her?"
"I think if you're actually a bitchy person, you would be different to their face. I have done that in the past, so I'm probably more of a bitch than Andrew."
*last ten minutes = andrew bitching about Chanelle/Raph's friendship*
"Oh my god." *is turned straight by Isabelle*
Raph is putting garlic in Hannah's pillowcase.
Isabelle: "You need to rub it on the inside."
"It's funny to do it to her because she's one of my close friends-"
IT WAS NEVER FUNNY, RAPH, AND DON'T THINK I'LL FORGET COL1 OR COL2.
"I feel like the mischeivous part of my personality, I haven't articulated it as much in my time here... it gives me entertainment to prank people."
"Is this the only thing that's different?" clocking the task team?
"I can't sleep in Rose, I'm gonna cry."
*Tom vomits eggs*
"Conquer that fear, yeah!"
*eavesdrops on the Gold Team's meeting*
"Love is worth more than money, so..."
*Chanelle to her bf*
"I wish Raph were here, for 3 in a bed, you know what?"
Raph is feeling thirsty.
"You know that this whole entire team in here I've never slept without Chanelle?"
"Even though I didn't come in with a pair, Chanelle kinda became my pair?"
Deborah is trying to convince a tipsy Raph to go to bed.
"I wanna go to the Diary Room!"
*passes out at top of the stairs*
"I definitely drank too much alcohol which was...quite problematic."
Chanelle: "I would have to say at this point that Raph is the winner!"
*leaves the room over Andrew being waxed*
Raph? Downstairs is a Big Brother legend.
*it's actually Josie but ok*
*sings Combine Harvester @ Josie*
Josie: And if you do win, take me for a drink then!
Raph: "Deal, deal, I promise."
"Are you talking about your future home together? You guys are so cute." @ Kieran/Deborah
Kieran: "The best person on their team by a mile is Raph."
"I could tell it was a joke!" @ Chanelle jumping out of a wardrobe (Ok i'm not sure why i've written this one down, either)
"My opinions are pretty set, like... maybe I'll be a bit more careful around Andrew but that's about it. My opinion on Charlotte hasn't changed."
"Yesterday obviously I met Josie, right? And I was deciding whether to talk to you about it or not... Josie just said to me that like uh... have you said bad stuff behind my back?... Uh that because of my job you feel that I'm here and everyone else is "down there"...I guess that's what more important is do you think that?"
"I just wanted to run it by you because I had a positive impression of you."
"No, we're cool man. I promise."
"To be honest my opinion of Andrew was tainted already after Simone told me that... what happened today proved what Simone said is true in many ways? He claims to be a big Big Brother fan but if he is why would he do that? I'm just disappointed for Sam."
"Money like that is always going to be tainted money. It's not money that you can say you earned proudly."
Wake Up It's a New Day is now on iTunes.
Kieran: "My second nomination is Raph and...maybe if Raph wasn't always around selective people all the time we'd see more of him."
"My first nomination is going to be for Ellie... the one thing she does that I don't like is she talks about how many followers she has on Instagram and Twitter... I just don't believe you should come on Big Brother to gain more followers."
"My second nomination is unfortunately going to be for Kieran... it is a bit exhausting every day trying to encourage him to make the most of his time, always asleep and not appreciating his time here, if you don't appreciate being here then why are you here?"
Raph has asked Andrew for a touch-up
Raph: "Why are you here? Are you doing your makeup or something? You can do it later." @ Hannah
Charlotte: "My second nomination is Raph... a lot of the time he is in the bedroom and hanging around the same people. I don't think he interacts socially enough with the rest of the house."
"The most two-faced for me would be if a really close friend of yours said that, you know?" (Andrew shade?)
Emma Willis: RAPH. TOPLESS. STRIPTEASE!!! (she's been reading this thread? thanks rph and Vanessa )
They edited out your birthday card sis 3 I'm sorry
They showed your lapdance though <3 I'm sorry
Raph is planning something dramatic.
"Shall we do it? You coming with us?" @ Sam, Isabelle & Chanelle
Chanelle: *evicted* Ah what am I gonna do without Raph? No offence Jake!
He rolls over in the night and I'm like, "Raph, I'm taken. Sorreh!"
I think he's got a good chance of winning!
"You never know, it always seems to be the person you expect the least." 3 foreshadowing 3
"Raph is enjoying a dip in the hot tub."
*drowns an imaginary wasp*
"You're so annoying." yes quite right Raph, get Tom out
"I just do not have a friend like Chanelle at all - I have a few female close friends but they're more mellow in personality. She's a very individual, unique character and a special person... I'll be very close to her out here as well."
"I chose to evict Kieran because I feel like you appreciate being here less than everyone else."
"We both lost our best friend, yesterday." @Kieran
"I was like bawling my eyes out in the diary room. It's so embarrassing."
Hannah: "Twerking was the best option for him."
Isabelle: "Raph's just gonna be like so chill man, cool! SO down for that!" = a fairly accurate impression!
"WELCOME to Twerking 101 with Raph! First off you've gotta have that attitude. Catch that booty in the audience that you just wanna please."
Big Brother can confirm that Raph was voted the most entertaining by the public. Oh wow this tea!
"I really miss Tom and Hannah. Love, peace and harmony."
"I had such a weird dream. We got 4 new housemates. They got to decide 4 of us to evict." NO RAPH. NO.
"SWALLOW! SWALLOW SWALLOW!"
"Aw, he's shaking, bless him."
Raph's finding the closure of Thorn Cottage hard to take. - haven't seen you this despondent since Oceans was closed, Raph
"This is that classic Thorn Cottage banter."
*gets his life to Isabelle singing 'Story of my Life'*
Kieran: "I'm keeping all you up today, there ain't no nappin'."
Raph: "Ok "
"I would've said [emeralds are] blue, I have no idea." RAPH WHAT EVEN ARE YOU?
"Oh it might be comfy actually, aww I'll keep it." @ the clingfilmed bed
"Whoever it was I respect who it is, because it was a clever prank."
"You can try to finish me."
"Just laughing...at you."
*spells 5318008 on the calculator bc it's apparently 1996 again*
"I'll miss you Charlotte. Thanks for being a great housemate. Much love."
"Wait, so are we not finalists? Are we kidding ourselves?" Raph exposing the producers? Raph, is there anything else you'd like to speak to Big Brother about?
"No. Bye bye! "
"How embarrassing-em-bar-arse for us"
"OK let's get rowdy again like we always do." oh wow Andrew ended?
Deborah: "I think you dealt with it very well."
"I think they've [Kieran and Deborah] got SO much chemistry!"
"We are never ever getting back together! Can you hear it? Taylor Swift!"
"It's so good to see you man, I've missed you and Sukhi" <3333
"This is the OG crew." w/ Chanelle and Imran
"Aw what a night, what a beautiful night! Thank you Big Brother it's been epic. Such a mood booster!"
"Mermaid? Wtf? Are we really talking about if mermaids are real or not?"
"I've made the Welsh friend I wanted to make in Big Brother so I'm happy."
"There's a people's housemate, a citizen, an exile, a late entrant and a second chance housemate. There's literally a bit of everything."
"My god, did this guy bring it!" - verbatim from Tom
"He found his inner riddim, you understand?" - verbatim from Deborah
"My choice would be Raph!" - verbatim from Isabelle Raph wins Best Dancer
"You showed everyone how beautiful you are inside and out" @Isabelle
"Am I orange?"
Day 53 and THE FINAL!
"To be able to make it to this final... I got to fulfill my dream of living every day in the Big Brother house."
"I made such genuine, really really cool bonds with people that I'm gonna cherish 100% on the outside."
"Big Brother is the ultimate mastermind, the ultimate prankster, the ultimate gameplayer..."