Should parents be allowed hit their children?

[BIG-BRO-FAN]

This is a topic I've wanted to post for a while. But do you think parents have the right to hit/use violence against their children? For example, young children, being hit for doing something wrong. Some parents think it's the only way of getting through to their children and sending them the message that what they've done/said was wrong. I've seen it happen on numerous occasions and I'd love to know what you guys think about it.

[Princess]

One million percent against it. There are other means of disciplining a child.

[Ninastar]

I think children need a small smack but not like huge. As long as they have done somthing bad though.

[30stone]

Yep.

A little slap on the bum of back of the legs

Doesn't scar someone for life or make them a criminal, and its not like it really hurts.

My mum done it.

[Captain.Remy]

Obviously yes. It never killed us to get a small smack because we did something bad. Of course there are abuse of them and it shouldn't be tolerated. But as long as it stays 'nice', I'm for it. Children need this to understand what is good or bad.

[Ninastar]

Originally posted by Captain.Remy
Obviously yes. It never killed us to get a small smack because we did something bad. Of course there are abuse of them and it shouldn't be tolerated. But as long as it stays 'nice', I'm for it. Children need this to understand what is good or bad.

Yeah exactly.
and same ben. I used to hate it thought but it kept me good. I think the children who are smacked, are the best behaved

[Captain.Remy]

Message original : Princess
One million percent against it. There are other means of disciplining a child.

Really ? Tell me about it then because children who didn't get that kind of 'punishment' are usually the ones who have the less manners, education and have no boundaries.

[Princess]

What! They are not the best behaved. I was never ever hit in my life and I behaved fine. I know kids who were and they just resented their parents for it.

[Captain.Remy]

Message original : Princess
What! They are not the best behaved. I was never ever hit in my life and I behaved fine. I know kids who were and they just resented their parents for it.

Oh come on please. Don't tell me a small smack will change your life or will kill you when you're 2 years old. Children are testing everything, they need to know what's good or bad and know their boundaries. I'm not saying it should be done all the time but sometimes it's needed. It hasn't killed anybody to get put in their place.

[Beastie]

a small smack is acceptable yes! there are too many human rights in this country!! and a lot of the thugs and crimes that are happening is due to bad parenting!! they need to bring back discipline!

[Princess]

Originally posted by Captain.Remy
Message original : Princess
What! They are not the best behaved. I was never ever hit in my life and I behaved fine. I know kids who were and they just resented their parents for it.

Oh come on please. Don't tell me a small smack will change your life or will kill you when you're 2 years old. Children are testing everything, they need to know what's good or bad and know their boundaries. I'm not saying it should be done all the time but sometimes it's needed. It hasn't killed anybody to get put in their place.

I would not have been happy if I was hit. Their are other ways of discplining children without hurting them! They can know what's good or bad without being hit. Ground them,take away something they like,whatever. There is no need for anything else.

[Harry!]

Baby P, He had a few smacks in his lifetime didnt he :whistle:

[Ninastar]

Originally posted by Harry.
Baby P, He had a few smacks in his lifetime didnt he :whistle:

that was different and you know it. He didnt die from a snack he was beaten. Several times. Most parents are not like that one bit. x

[pinkmichk]

i was smacked as a child and as a mother i have used a small smack but its very very rare that it gets to that point normally other methods are fine i have never left a mark on her though its always just a light tap but like i say its rare for it to get to it

you cant compare baby p to normal disapline cos he was abused beaten a lot bones broken and so on

[Tom]

Smacked bum or whatever but nothing more really

[Ninastar]

Originally posted by pinkmichk
i was smacked as a child and as a mother i have used a small smack but its very very rare that it gets to that point normally other methods are fine i have never left a mark on her though its always just a light tap but like i say its rare for it to get to it

you cant compare baby p to normal disapline cos he was abused beaten a lot bones broken and so on

yeh exactly. I think when I have a child or w.e I will smack them but i will use other ways to tell them off too. I can see why people dislike it.

[30stone]

Originally posted by Ninastar

and same ben. I used to hate it thought but it kept me good. I think the children who are smacked, are the best behaved

Precisely.

Nowadays if a child like gets detention at school or gets shouted at parents complain, and the teachers can do nothing.

I never saw a problem with it, theres always complaints about abuse but its not, a little smack on the back of the legs...?

[Enid]

A spank on the ass or a slap on the wrist is fine. I mean, who really has time for all this "naughty step" business when you've had a hard day at work and you have a complete brat on your hands?

I was hit as a kid by my father, not as punishment but to inflict fear. And yes, I resent him to this day, but this is an extreme case. A parent who lightly spanks their child occasionally is not going to screw them up.

[TheOfficialAdam]

depends what you mean by hitting...as 30stone says a smack on the back of the legs is acceptable, but if your going to as far and say actually punch them in the face etc then thats a definite NO.

[Twilight]

I was smacked when i was a younger, and i don't resent my mum and dad at all,a little one has a warning is fine, it not hurting them if its only a little one at all.

[Conzors]

No.
Because then they will just rebel against you, if you hurt them physically, they would want to get back at you by being bad again.

So no. lol. :)

[Conzors]

No.
Because then they will just rebel against you, if you hurt them physically, they would want to get back at you by being bad again.

So no. lol. :)

[Ninastar]

yeah but conzors if you used something like a naughty step they dont take it seriously. you see them on supernanny like running around and everything. then again they are total brats but still.

[x_eztiger_x]

never done me any harm but i wasnt hit to the extent of being knocked out of that deffo not that bad

[Jayson]

I am 100% for a little smack on the bum, its the only way of getting through to toddlers.

But from 10 onwards they should know right and wrong, so its not needed past then.

[pinkmichk]

noone is saying they would punch their child or something like that (its actually illegal to leave a mark) but a light tap on the hand or back of legs or bum
conzors have you got some evidence that all kids who are smacked rebel against their parents cos i dont think that is the case i know for myself it wasnt likewise with my sister and cousins

[bronaaaa]

Originally posted by Ninastar
I used to hate it thought but it kept me good. I think the children who are smacked, are the best behaved
Yeah same. I was smacked too when I was wee, and when I got to about 6/7 my mum would just say 'If you don;t be good etc. you'll get a smack' and that was enough for me to behave. My two wee sisters never get smacked though, and tbh, I can see a difference in their behaviour. They're much more cheeky and would put up a fight about things because they know nothing will happen to them.

[lily.]

Originally posted by Captain.Remy
Message original : Princess
One million percent against it. There are other means of disciplining a child.

Really ? Tell me about it then because children who didn't get that kind of 'punishment' are usually the ones who have the less manners, education and have no boundaries.

We've never smacked our children and they are both well-mannered, well-educated, and have proper bedtimes and rules. My oldest child just won the top award at her school.

I don't have an opinion on what other parents should or should not do, but I'd just like to state that the above opinion certainly does not apply to all children brought up without physical punishment.

[Fangz]

I think that these days parenting has got a bit softer, and people wrongly associate a slap on the hand/legs/bum with an actual full-strength punch.

[Princess]

Originally posted by lili
Originally posted by Captain.Remy
Message original : Princess
One million percent against it. There are other means of disciplining a child.

Really ? Tell me about it then because children who didn't get that kind of 'punishment' are usually the ones who have the less manners, education and have no boundaries.

We've never smacked our children and they are both well-mannered, well-educated, and have proper bedtimes and rules. My oldest child just won the top award at her school.

I don't have an opinion on what other parents should or should not do, but I'd just like to state that the above opinion certainly does not apply to all children brought up without physical punishment.

Argee with Linda. I was never hit and I like to think I'm wel behavoured and mannered.

[Captain.Remy]

Message original : lili

We've never smacked our children and they are both well-mannered, well-educated, and have proper bedtimes and rules. My oldest child just won the top award at her school.

I don't have an opinion on what other parents should or should not do, but I'd just like to state that the above opinion certainly does not apply to all children brought up without physical punishment.

I'd also like to add that my parents never hit me either but I'm not against it. I wish sometimes they did because I was "l'enfant terrible" of my family. I just think I'd have never turn against them for doing that.

[lily.]

I wouldn't turn against them either. My parents smacked me once or twice.. nothing major. I just think it's a personal choice for parents to make, and I don't think it has any bearing on how the child turns out.

Discipline, whether physical or non-physical has to be consistent, and that's what determines how the child responds to it.


(I don't believe you were ever terrible Remy.. you are so angelic now. :P)

[Captain.Remy]

Message original : lili

(I don't believe you were ever terrible Remy.. you are so angelic now. :P)

I was just being horrible to my parents because I was the only boy, I was hyper all the time, I never went to sleep until 2am, I almost got expelled of primary school twice. My parents know what hell is thanks to me. But both of them were from very difficult countries when they did immigrate so they didn't want their children to know the same stuff they did hence they never hit me, but looking back, they should have had because I was hell, I exhausted them.

But then I'm nicer now. I still have a shock temper hence I went to Anger Management and getting banned of 3 bars for fighting but I'm a lot calmer. But don't cross me lol :hugesmile:

[the_watcher87]

never done me any harm so i'm for it.

[*mazedsalv**]

It was common for me and all my family, we got smacked, we got the slipper thrown at us, them with the broom chasing us round, just typical Italian I guess.

[Captain.Remy]

Message original : *mazedsalv**
It was common for me and all my family, we got smacked, we got the slipper thrown at us, them with the broom chasing us round, just typical Italian I guess.

It is very Italian, that's how my mum grew up but she didn't want to do it to us. I've a Russian dad too so I can let you imagine what it was in his childhood but I'm glad I had parents like that.

[Sticks]

I remember one couple who had a stick of bamboo that was used for punishing their toddler, because the Bible talked about the Rod of Correction.

It was a case of the Bible tells us to use a stick, preferable a thick one like a rod is. Remeber the line from the 23rd Psalm, "Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me".

I also remember a woman on the radio who used a wooden spoon, and the punishment was issued a while after the event and the purpose was to make it really hurt.

According to some, a beating that does not leave a mark, is not a proper beating, there should be an after sting to remind them. If you draw blood, even better. We were told we would be beaten so hard we would not be able to sit down for a week, so according to that saying there should be bruising that lasts several days when you are administring discipline. Remember part of a heavy beating is to send a message to others.

Is that not what Nuns and Monks used to do in "care homes?"

Remember the ald saying, spare the rod and spoil the child :nono:

Although the actual proverb states (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=24&chapter=13&verse=24&version=31&context=verse)


He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.


Which was not quite the same thing.

There is an anomally in the law. If you smack an adult, that is common assault, and if a man smacks a woman on the backside, that can be classed as sexual assault.

Beat a child, well that's lawful chastisement.

Apparently according to our law, it is open season on hitting children.

In the classic case of a toddler, the adult just needs to hold the child during the temper tantrum and understand their growing brain has problems processing information and handling emotions - however it seems to take less effort to beat the living daylights - sorry administer lawful chastisement :bored:

[Rodrigo2Win]

Yes.

[BIG-BRO-FAN]

Originally posted by Rodrigo2Win
Yes.


Thanks for your constructive answer. :conf2: