Sticks
16-06-2002, 08:13 AM
Phil Marlow meets Big Brother 3
This is a kind of sequal / Spin off from When Big Brother met Tolkien (http://www.gsne03768.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mythology.htm)
It was another cold wet day in the wasteland known as Graeme's Land, and someone had broken into my office. I was kind of wary as I was unsure if that scum bag, the Lord Low Troll had sent another one of his goons to work me over.
As I stood outside in the acid rain I could tell from my security key fob, someone had entered the offices of "Graeme, Cyber Warrior and Devil's Advocate at law", and I had not been informed. The smell of brimstone hung thick in the air, inspite of the perpetual down pour, clear signs that an incursion from the Mystical Realms had occurred. It was a smell I never expected to experience again since the bother last year.
I dimly remembered how an old dame going under the name of "The Spirit of True Love" asked for my help. I had known her by reputation as Aphrodite, Greek Goddess of Love. She wanted me to help out with a couple that had met on a game show called Big Brother 2, they went by the name of Helen & Paul. After I did what I could on their behalf I had been surprised when we were taken by a bunch of trolls back to "The Mystical Realms" to be tried for unlawful interference in the affairs of mortals. (Another dame, one of the Greek fates, by the name of Lachesis was implicated) Those trolls were mean and nasty and nid not mind breaking a few laws, if not a few ribs to get what they wanted. They all worked for a big cheese known as "The Lord Low Troll" who ran all the rackets in the Mystical Realms.
The trial started ok, My client's brother showed up. He was Ares, God of War, although he was going by the nom de plume of "Guardian of Mortal Struggle". He and the Lord Low Troll had serious history. The judge threw the case out against me, as some kind of "nonsense in law" and I wound up back home. As for Lachesis, she was aquitted on the order of the Judge for "lack of evidence" . A comment about Helen and Paul in a rag called Heat, meeting being fate was deemed to be hearsay evidence. I had been following the case here, until the Lord Low Troll got an injunction to stop reporting of the trial being available outside the Mystical Realms.
What I heard was that the at the trial of the Spirit of True Love, there was a hung juury, and my former client was to go for a re-trial. In our world the couple Helen & Paul moved intogether and the last I heard was that they had been to Paris and were now writing a column for a trash Sunday rag. However a Big Brother wedding seemed to be quite far off . A break even result.
So here I was, getting soaked remembering all that had gone before, looking up at the window of my office, wondering what the Lord Low Troll had in for me.
Suddenly from behind a gun poked me in the back
"The boss wants to see you Mortal" came the gruff voice. It sounded like the guy was seven feet tall, compliance seemed the best option. I climbed the stairs to my office and entred to see a huge dark creature with the ugliest hog face ever.
Beside him were two equally charming and handsome goons
"Allow me to introduce myself " he grunted "I am Mr Traxor, the leader of the Troglodites, and I am here with an offer you can't refuse"
Traxor motioned for me to sit down as he sat on the corner of my desk.
"Mr Stickings" he went on "I have been a fan of your Big Brother programme for a while. Now deese contestents ain't usuually much to look at, so I never pick da favourites"
"Until now" I interjected, only for the goon behind me to smash me across the face "Don't speak to Traxor unless he say so" he grunted
"Please Marco, leave him alone" the large troglodite leader ordered in his soft but menacing voice, he then continued his explanation.
"This year, one doll caught my eye, as she looks almost like one of my daughters, the one called Jade"
I gave him a cold stare, as I did not want his goon to mistake me for a punch bag again. This seemed insulting to compare a contestant with a pig or a trogolidite. I had seen the images that had been going around, comparing her to a porscine creature, and they were cruel and vindictive for no good reason.
The troglodite continued "I have a small wager, which means each week she stays in, I get more doh, and I want my investment to be as fruitful as I can, if you catch my drift"
I nodded politely
"Now you may wonder, what's in it for me. Well the Lord Low Troll is coming up for re-election as head of Law enforcement, usually a mere formality, but I am building up a secret fund to run against him for the law and order franchise. Which is why I need da doh. And once I muscle in, I can produce the evidence of how the Lord Low Troll managed to prevent the jury from aquitting you former client, The wretched Spirit of True Love. Plus I will make it worth you while in straight mulers"
This was a tempting offer, I had briefly heard about this Traxor character, and he and the Lord Low Troll deserved each other. I wondered if anything would really be any different if Traxor booted out the Lord Low Troll. But to get one over on the sleeze bag actually running the Mystical Realms, and get my client "The Spirit of True Love" out of the slammer was too good an opportunity to miss.
"OK" I said "I'll take the case"
A huge grin broke across Traxor's face, "I knew you were an intelligent man, Mr Stickings"
"However" I interjected "I can not gurantee Jade will win. She has a load of rough edges that need to be smoothed out. She was the most unpopular housemate in week one. I can't manipulate a vote"
"Oh don't worry about that Mr Stickings" Traxor said with a sly evil grin, " I have my other agents in the field, more adept than the Lord Low Troll's goons. You just do your part. You scratch my back and I won't rub you out."
With that, Traxor and his fellow troglodites vanished into the night. This was gonna be my toughest assignment yet. With a lot to loose and a lot at stake. I just hope that I did not get caught up in what I feared was an impending power struggle as the Trolls went head to head with the troglodites.
Meanwhile, some how we needed to get Jade into winning form, a task which seemed doomed from the start.
How on earth would I succeed on this one ??
And what would happen if the Lord Low Troll found out ?
Stay tuned
This is a kind of sequal / Spin off from When Big Brother met Tolkien (http://www.gsne03768.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mythology.htm)
It was another cold wet day in the wasteland known as Graeme's Land, and someone had broken into my office. I was kind of wary as I was unsure if that scum bag, the Lord Low Troll had sent another one of his goons to work me over.
As I stood outside in the acid rain I could tell from my security key fob, someone had entered the offices of "Graeme, Cyber Warrior and Devil's Advocate at law", and I had not been informed. The smell of brimstone hung thick in the air, inspite of the perpetual down pour, clear signs that an incursion from the Mystical Realms had occurred. It was a smell I never expected to experience again since the bother last year.
I dimly remembered how an old dame going under the name of "The Spirit of True Love" asked for my help. I had known her by reputation as Aphrodite, Greek Goddess of Love. She wanted me to help out with a couple that had met on a game show called Big Brother 2, they went by the name of Helen & Paul. After I did what I could on their behalf I had been surprised when we were taken by a bunch of trolls back to "The Mystical Realms" to be tried for unlawful interference in the affairs of mortals. (Another dame, one of the Greek fates, by the name of Lachesis was implicated) Those trolls were mean and nasty and nid not mind breaking a few laws, if not a few ribs to get what they wanted. They all worked for a big cheese known as "The Lord Low Troll" who ran all the rackets in the Mystical Realms.
The trial started ok, My client's brother showed up. He was Ares, God of War, although he was going by the nom de plume of "Guardian of Mortal Struggle". He and the Lord Low Troll had serious history. The judge threw the case out against me, as some kind of "nonsense in law" and I wound up back home. As for Lachesis, she was aquitted on the order of the Judge for "lack of evidence" . A comment about Helen and Paul in a rag called Heat, meeting being fate was deemed to be hearsay evidence. I had been following the case here, until the Lord Low Troll got an injunction to stop reporting of the trial being available outside the Mystical Realms.
What I heard was that the at the trial of the Spirit of True Love, there was a hung juury, and my former client was to go for a re-trial. In our world the couple Helen & Paul moved intogether and the last I heard was that they had been to Paris and were now writing a column for a trash Sunday rag. However a Big Brother wedding seemed to be quite far off . A break even result.
So here I was, getting soaked remembering all that had gone before, looking up at the window of my office, wondering what the Lord Low Troll had in for me.
Suddenly from behind a gun poked me in the back
"The boss wants to see you Mortal" came the gruff voice. It sounded like the guy was seven feet tall, compliance seemed the best option. I climbed the stairs to my office and entred to see a huge dark creature with the ugliest hog face ever.
Beside him were two equally charming and handsome goons
"Allow me to introduce myself " he grunted "I am Mr Traxor, the leader of the Troglodites, and I am here with an offer you can't refuse"
Traxor motioned for me to sit down as he sat on the corner of my desk.
"Mr Stickings" he went on "I have been a fan of your Big Brother programme for a while. Now deese contestents ain't usuually much to look at, so I never pick da favourites"
"Until now" I interjected, only for the goon behind me to smash me across the face "Don't speak to Traxor unless he say so" he grunted
"Please Marco, leave him alone" the large troglodite leader ordered in his soft but menacing voice, he then continued his explanation.
"This year, one doll caught my eye, as she looks almost like one of my daughters, the one called Jade"
I gave him a cold stare, as I did not want his goon to mistake me for a punch bag again. This seemed insulting to compare a contestant with a pig or a trogolidite. I had seen the images that had been going around, comparing her to a porscine creature, and they were cruel and vindictive for no good reason.
The troglodite continued "I have a small wager, which means each week she stays in, I get more doh, and I want my investment to be as fruitful as I can, if you catch my drift"
I nodded politely
"Now you may wonder, what's in it for me. Well the Lord Low Troll is coming up for re-election as head of Law enforcement, usually a mere formality, but I am building up a secret fund to run against him for the law and order franchise. Which is why I need da doh. And once I muscle in, I can produce the evidence of how the Lord Low Troll managed to prevent the jury from aquitting you former client, The wretched Spirit of True Love. Plus I will make it worth you while in straight mulers"
This was a tempting offer, I had briefly heard about this Traxor character, and he and the Lord Low Troll deserved each other. I wondered if anything would really be any different if Traxor booted out the Lord Low Troll. But to get one over on the sleeze bag actually running the Mystical Realms, and get my client "The Spirit of True Love" out of the slammer was too good an opportunity to miss.
"OK" I said "I'll take the case"
A huge grin broke across Traxor's face, "I knew you were an intelligent man, Mr Stickings"
"However" I interjected "I can not gurantee Jade will win. She has a load of rough edges that need to be smoothed out. She was the most unpopular housemate in week one. I can't manipulate a vote"
"Oh don't worry about that Mr Stickings" Traxor said with a sly evil grin, " I have my other agents in the field, more adept than the Lord Low Troll's goons. You just do your part. You scratch my back and I won't rub you out."
With that, Traxor and his fellow troglodites vanished into the night. This was gonna be my toughest assignment yet. With a lot to loose and a lot at stake. I just hope that I did not get caught up in what I feared was an impending power struggle as the Trolls went head to head with the troglodites.
Meanwhile, some how we needed to get Jade into winning form, a task which seemed doomed from the start.
How on earth would I succeed on this one ??
And what would happen if the Lord Low Troll found out ?
Stay tuned