TiBB: To The Death [completed!] [Archive] - ThisisBigBrother.com

13-10-2009, 07:25 PM

Prologue

Shaun’s head felt like it was going to explode. This was not unusual after a night out, but somewhere in his thumping head, he was sure that he hadn’t been out the night before. He couldn’t even open his eyes, and whenever he did, sunshine blazed and he couldn’t keep them open. It slowly dawned on him that he was outside, and he was lying down on the ground and that it was extremely uncomfortable. He could feel, every now and then, a cool breeze dance over him, taunting him. Shaun summoned the strength to lift his arm up and shield his eyes from the harsh glare of the sun, and managed to open his eyes. He sat bolt upright. He was sitting in an extremely derelict, brick building. Where there might once have been windows, were square-ish outposts of sunlight. The roof didn’t exist, apart from in one corner, and he could see a palm tree towering over the small brick building.

He immediately tried to think of what had happened to him the night before, this certainly wasn’t home, but he couldn’t remember what had happened to him. He had no short term memories of what had happened to him recently – he could remember everything about himself, his family, who his friends were, but he had no recollection of events. It was a peculiar and frustrating feeling, and he began to get very angry, resorting to hitting his head against the wall to try and spark some kind of memory. What Shaun didn’t expect, however, was for his head to hit against the wall and spark a fire. Suddenly, before he could take anything in, the entire wall he had been headbutting was alight. Shaun stumbled back dumbfounded, stunned, and marvelling. Had he just caused a fire? No, came the immediate response, as a second Molotov cocktail was thrown at the brick hut; this time cascading through the space where a window would have been, and obliterating across the floor behind Shaun.

Shaun darted out of the flaming hut, his senses on red alert, and he strafed round the side of the hut. He saw a familiar person, throwing Molotov cocktails at the hut, but this was the wrong kind of familiar. It wasn’t a friend, or a relative, but a forum friend. LemonJam.
“James?!” Shaun shouted in disbelief.

LemonJam, James, turned to stare at Shaun in shock. Shaun beamed at him, and ran towards his virtual friend. “James, what the ****?! Am I in Guernsey or something?!”

“Shaun?” James’ voice was paralysed with nerves. “Uh, what are you doing here?”

“How the **** did I end up on this ****ing island? GREGJLSWTF.”

“What’s GREGJLSWTF?” James frowned. “Um, this isn’t anywhere near Great Britain, as far as I’m aware. Uh, Shaun, I can’t talk to you, this is so weird but I’m assuming you don’t know yet, so let’s get out of here.” James grabbed Shaun by the arm, just as a rubber bullet embedded itself in the sand by James’ feet. “Shit!” James shrieked, as he started to sprint away from the flaming hut, pulling Shaun along with him.

“What the ****! What the ****!” Shaun couldn’t stop screaming as they ran. “Somebody just tried to shoot me!”

Meanwhile, amongst the shrubbery and trees, a girl called Caitlin was perched in the branches of a tall tree. On her lap sat a sniper rifle; a belt of rubber bullets across her chest, and a pissed off, mercenary look on her face. She spat out the gum she was chewing, and she muttered under her breath. “Next time...”

Shaun and James continued to run along the beach, the fear of being shot slowly disappearing as they put distance between their selves and the hut. James guided Shaun up into the undergrowth, and off the beach, to cover from any further sniper shots.

“James, seriously, what’s going on?” Shaun asked between breaths.

“Let me catch my breath,” James wheezed back, before eventually regaining his composure. “Just like you, I woke up not knowing what was going on. I woke up in a treehouse, and I thought I must have been really drunk last night or something and lost my house keys, so I poke my head out and find I’m in the middle of a jungle. Scary ****, right? So anyway, I freak out over that for a while, and then I hear somebody walking through the jungle, so I look out the window, and I’m all ready to start shouting for help, when I see Jen!”

“What, as in TiBB Jen?!” Shaun asked, incredulous.

“The very one and same. And I **** you not, she’s wandering around with a huge ****-off knife in her hand. So of course, I’m like wut, but I throw caution to the wind and shout her name. She looks right up at me, looks like she’s away to **** herself out of fear, and then she faints. So I rush down from the treehouse, just as she wakes up again, and she says she’d already seen so many weird things that that was the last straw.”

“Right, but that doesn’t explain why we were getting shot at.”

“Let me finish. At that point, I ask her about the knife, and she asks me didn’t I get one too? So we go up into the tree house, and discover a chest full of Molotov cocktails, just ready to be lit, and Jen says to me ‘oh James, thank you’, and at that point she tries to push me out of the treehouse. Luckily I didn’t, I managed to fight back, and she ends up falling out of the treehouse. I grabbed my trunk full of Molotovs, and climbed down, and then checked on Jen. She was still alive, but she was in a bad way, and she whispers to me ‘I was only following orders, you have to do the same.’”

“So let me get this straight, you’re saying that Jen, your best friend on TiBB, tried to kill you and she was only doing so because she was following orders? Whose orders? What? That doesn’t make sense?” Shaun looked vaguely unimpressed.

“That’s what I thought, but then she feebly grabs the pocket of my shorts, an-”

“Aha! I always knew something would happen between you t-”

“Let me stop you right there. She grabs the pocket of my shorts, and starts pulling out-”

“HA! I knew it!”

“Shaun! Let me finish. She starts pulling out a picture from my pocket, which I never even realised was there, and on it were fifteen faces, all about the size of a passport photo, but they were all faces that I recognised. Three rows of five. And just above these photos, was a title, in big, bold, red letters, and d’you know what it said, Shaun?”

“What?” Shaun asked, suddenly quiet.

“Kill. And unless I’m very much mistaken, you probably have one too.”

Shaun looked fearful for a moment, and then reached into his pocket (seriously guys, it’s not sexual, stop reading into this) and slowly pulled out (Conor, seriously.) a picture. On this picture were the faces of fifteen people that he knew. Fifteen people that he didn’t know, but did know. These were the faces of fifteen TiBB members.

“But why?” Shaun asked. “We don’t have to do this. I know it’s pretty explicit, the subliminal messaging is quite clear and all, but we don’t have to do this. And where are we, sorry?”

“That’s what figures into it. Look on the other side of the picture. It’s a note, Shaun, a note from whoever’s behind this.”

Shaun read the note:

Dear TiBB users,
Welcome to my little game. The sixteen of you are here as a consequence of your own actions, and the reason for your being here is because of the gravity of your actions. You see, you are all what I call the scum of TiBB. You have spammed your way to high post counts, you’ve whiled away so many hours, days, weeks, years of your sad little lives on my domain, and you’ve just been so annoying. So, I’ve had enough. While I swapped the site’s host, I also decided to swap you all. Only one of you can return to TiBB, and so you’re going to kill each other off, until there is merely one of you left. Oh, and just in case you don’t already feel the incentive to start playing the game immediately – just so you know, I’ve opened applications for a moderating spot. I may or may not choose Conzors, unless the last man standing emerges within 48 hours.
Good luck,
Mark the Admin

“Sick bastard!” Shaun hollered at the piece of paper in anger, and then looked up to rant to James about how unjust this whole thing was, but James was nowhere to be seen. He was gone, and Shaun was all alone.

End of prologue

LemonJam

13-10-2009, 07:33 PM

ROFLMAO I love this so ****ing much!

Brilliant read.

Shaun

13-10-2009, 07:38 PM

oh my ****ing god.
i LOVE this.
i love you greg. <3

Shaun

13-10-2009, 07:40 PM

lmao. It's tanisha.

no it isn't.

Ninastar

13-10-2009, 07:41 PM

PMSL!!!! Loved that!

Jen

13-10-2009, 07:41 PM

Moar pls.

:)

Ninastar

13-10-2009, 07:42 PM

LMAO. It's Tanisha.

*Goes on google images*

Ninastar

13-10-2009, 07:42 PM

http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=Tanisha&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=null&oq=

:bawling:

Novo

13-10-2009, 07:43 PM

“Sick bastard!” Shaun hollered at the piece of paper

^

LOL!!!!!

Kaz

13-10-2009, 07:47 PM

Brilliant, Greg. http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/midi/froehlich/a023.gif http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/midi/froehlich/a045.gif

30stone

13-10-2009, 07:48 PM

Have you ever seen "The Condemned"

Was a good read i always enjoy, well mostly enjoy these sorta things.

Novo

13-10-2009, 07:50 PM

http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=Tanisha&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=null&oq=

:bawling:

http://youarenotthefather.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/tanisha.jpg

13-10-2009, 08:30 PM

Chapter One

Jonathan couldn’t quite believe the irony of the situation. He too had woken up, utterly confused, and much like Jen, James, Shaun and all the others in the same predicament, he had quickly realised what he had to do. The irony of his situation was, he felt, taking the biscuit. Everyone had been given a different kind of weapon. James had Molotovs, Jen had a knife, Caitlin had a sniper, although Jonathan had not met any of these people yet.

What Jonathan had been given was a firewire. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with it at first, but then eventually he supposed he would have to use it as some kind of garrotte and choke anyone he came across. Sphincter. Jonathan is underage, by the way, I could probably get arrested for those comments. In fact, Jonathan did not have a firewire, he had a reeeally huge gu- oh for crying out loud. Firewire it is then. Jonathan had spent at least an hour wandering through the jungle, with no luck at finding anyone else. He had immediately recognised Emily on the photo, how could he not, she was the love of his virtual life. He wondered if she missed home, or school (wait...), like he was beginning to. He didn’t like being in this jungle. He didn’t want to kill people. Jonathan began to frown, and felt a pang of depression. At that exact instant, Jonathan disintegrated into dust. Ross, in a gigantic robot exo skeleton, had just fired a heat ray at Jonathan, thus eliminating him from the game (and a subtle hint to **** TiBB!)

Ross’ exo skeleton was by far the coolest weapon in the game. He was indestructible, he had a heat ray that could make things disappear, and he was destined to be a moderator. He continued to stalk through the forest, trying to seek out someone else to kill (btw Jonathan, don’t leave TiBB, I think you’re great :P) and was, therefore, stunned when he felt a dent to the back of his exo skeletal skull. He turned around, wondering what on earth it could have been, when he received a similar dent to the visor of his exo skeleton. A crack appeared in it, and his vision was now splintered. Ross fired his heat ray in the general direction of where he thought it had come from, although what ‘it’ was, he did not know. He flipped up his visor in order to see better, and realised that it was Twilight with a harpoon gun.

“Emily!” Ross bellowed, firing numerous shots at her. She dodged them all with grace and finesse.

“Ross! I saw what you did to Jonathan, and I’m not happy!”

“Don’t make me hurt you Emily!” Ross shouted, as she fired another harpoon at him.

“You killed my boyfriend!” Emily shrieked at him, as Ross sent another heat ray at her, which she jumped over.

“You fired a harpoon at my head!”

“My career’s been put on hold because of this!” Emily, aka Twilight Twitty (new single out on the 19th of October btw yeah) retorted.

“But think of the story you could sell to the magazines! Welshman in robot suit, with nice hair, killed the love of my life in horrific heat ray fight. It’d do wonders for your single sales!” Ross fired one more shot at Emily, who easily evaded the shot, and ceased fire on Ross.

“You know, you’re right...” Emily agreed. “I think we could be onto something here, Ross, let’s say we call it a truce for now and work the details of this thing out?”

Elsewhere, a battle hardened warrior sat sharpening his spear (Conor, I’m not even kidding, stop it). He was a gentleman, a scholar, and a knight. A knight of the Brotherhood. Andy had admittedly been scared when he first realised the gravity of the situation, as had everybody else, but he had regained his cool far faster than any of the rest of them. He had been given a spear and a shield – a little old fashioned, some might say, but it meant he had protection from long distance weapons, and a form of attack for up close fights.

He had already been involved in a four way (I’m not even going to bother) fight with MarkWaldorf, GhettoSuperstar and Darenn, but Andy had been intimidated by their sheer fierceness and had run away (from those nagging gay thoughts, eh Andy? Yeah you know what I’m talking about.), not because he had been overwhelmed, but because they had ganged up on him (Conor, I swear to God if you even start thinking about gang rape, I’m going to castrate you in your sleep. NO, THAT ISN’T SEXUAL EITHER. STOP!) and he valued his life, he wasn’t going to fight silly battles.

He was disappointed in himself for running away, but then he supposed that any sensible member of the Brotherhood would have done likewise. He had been plotting his revenge on the threesome (...) for hours now, and he had finally come up with a plan that would work. He had seen Lauren traipsing around with a mace, but she had looked tired and fatigued, so Andy had tracked her and had found her sleeping on the ground. He tied her up, which had, of course, woken her. She had screamed at first, but she realised that Andy wasn’t trying to kill her, or rape her, or do anything harmful to her, all he seemed to be doing was messing up her appearance. He had smeared mud across her face (I need to stop setting up these jokes, although admittedly they are totally win) and he’d messed up her hair, he’d ripped her clothes, and while it was weird, she no longer felt like she was in immediate danger.

Lauren currently lay some ten feet away from Andy, in the middle of a clearing. Andy had told her what to do, and while it confused her, she was going to do it. She wasn’t sure why – this guy had tied her up, but she trusted him enough to do what he said. He gave her the signal, and then he slipped behind a tree.

“GOSSIP GIRL XOXO!” Lauren shouted at the top of her voice, the sound echoing through the trees. And then, from nowhere, appeared MarkWaldorf.

“Gurl wut?” He looked at her like she was mad. “You’re not Doug?”

“I’m here!” GhettoSuperstar called, entering the clearing.

“Well then who the hell called our codeword?” Mark sounded puzzled.

“Why did it have to be Gossip Girl xoxo? I wanted Sam Sparro.” Darenn appeared.

“Well, stupid, if it was Sam Sparro, then Sam! might have heard the Sam part and appeared too, and then it wouldn’t have worked. God Darenn, you’re so stupid.” (If none of you immediately get that Mean Girls reference, you’re getting a kick in the face.)

“I called your code word.” Lauren said quietly.

“Why? Wait, Lauren, is that you?!” Mark asked.

“Yep.”

“But... but you’re such a mess! A hot mess!”

“All part of my plan!” Andy emerged from behind the tree he had been hiding behind, looking victorious.

“Oh wut.” Doug gulped theatrically.

“And now, I’m going to kill all of you, and get one step closer to the mod spot I’ve always deserved! The Brotherhood needs more moderators within its ranks.”

“Not before I kill them first!” Sam! suddenly appeared behind Mark, using the baseball bat he had for a weapon (heh, that’s kind of one as well, isn’t it?) to restrict Mark’s movements. Similarly, behind Darenn stood Nicky, who used a poster of McFly to the same effect, and behind Doug was Christina, who was using the strap of a digital camera.

“What! You can’t kill them! I want to kill them!” Andy stamped his foot in annoyance. “It’s not fair, I planned this whole set up!”

“Well you snooze or you lose, and I do not do either.” Sam stated matter of factly.

“But it’s not fair!” Andy looked sad.

“Lool!” Sam replied, but what he meant, nobody was sure.

“How did you get Lauren to agree to this? That’s ridiculous! She just let you mess up her hair?!” Mark shouted at Andy.

“Well, to be fair, I’ve already been a moderator, I don’t really want to be one again.” Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, it’s not like I want to die, I’m just not really wanting to be a mod again, you know?”

Everyone looked at her in disbelief.

“What!” The unanimous response of outrage echoed through the jungle.

“You know what it’s like, you try something once, you don’t need to try it again. It’s not even that great, I mean if I was still a mod, I’d have to give Sam, Christina and Nicky warnings for being abusive to other members and one to Andy for trying to fix the game...”

Meanwhile, in the branches of the tree that Andy had hidden behind, was the mysterious sixteenth participant of the game. He had stayed quiet so far, merely watching the movements of the people beneath him. He was beginning to get impatient, being up there in the foliage, and started to feel a little bit Dezzy...

End of Chapter One.

Ninastar

13-10-2009, 08:32 PM

Lmao! omg I love this so much!! your so good zee! x

Jen

13-10-2009, 08:36 PM

I love <3

30stone

13-10-2009, 08:39 PM

This is Quality keep it coming.

LemonJam

13-10-2009, 08:40 PM

pmsl, thi is ace.

Keep the sexual innuendos in plz.

King Gizzard

13-10-2009, 08:40 PM

How vicious

Novo

13-10-2009, 08:42 PM

:nono:

Where are the rest of my brotherhood knights

Shaun

13-10-2009, 08:42 PM

lmfao <3
i better survive a bit.

13-10-2009, 09:26 PM

Chapter Two

Jen spent a long time staring at the trees swaying gently above her. Time didn’t pass while she lay there, she wasn’t living, she wasn’t dying, she was just part of the ground, or so it seemed to her. She had, in reality, been mildly concussed by her fall from the treehouse, and didn’t have the strength to move, however, I quite enjoy writing about Jen being a complete and utter raging hippy that’s at one with the earth, so... Jen was a seedling of a flower, opening up to the world (HA) and going into bloom. She was a blade of grass, taller than all the other blades of grass (insert pube joke), and she was proud (ew, go shave).

It was in this state that James found her, just as he left her. He had run away from Shaun, fearing that he would try to kill James once he’d finished reading the letter, as Shaun would undoubtedly realise that James had been trying to kill him earlier with the Molotov cocktails, (actually, why haven’t I commented on ‘cocktail’ yet, that one was a sitter) and James didn’t want to stick around to fight that particular battle. Jen was in a bad way. She was delirious, her eyes were wide open but she wasn’t moving (story of your life James, yeah?) and he felt guilty, because it was his fault. He knew that he was meant to kill everyone he saw, but he found that he didn’t have it in him. He could have killed Shaun instead of explaining things to him, he could kill Jen right now, but he had too much of a heart to even consider it more than in passing. He realised that in order to win this game, he would have to rely on the others murdering each other, he maybe wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

James carried Jen into a cluster of trees, slapping her across the face gently to wake her up. She eventually responded to his mild spanking and they had wild sex. No I’m kidding, Jen didn’t respond to anything James tried – far more likely HA. Jen was the wind, rustling and whistling, Jen is probably on weed by the way I’m describing her thoughts... Jen felt as light as a feather, and James felt completely empty. She wasn’t going to recover from the fall, she wasn’t responding to anything he tried. He didn’t have it in him to kill her out of mercy. He couldn’t leave her again, either. He had to do something though, but what? And then all of a sudden, Jen was a zombie. OMFG.

No but seriously, James kinda did nothing for another half hour, Jen eventually started being normal and eventually he helped her up, and suddenly my mood setting of ‘Jen is dying’ is completely ruined and she’s actually fine.

Jen hugged James tight for being with her, and for trying to help her, even though it was his fault in the first place. They smiled at each other, in disbelief that they had actually met in person, and in such extraordinary circumstances.

“So, you were saying earlier that you’d seen weird things, what were they?” James finally broke the silence.

“Well, I saw Dezzy in a tree earlier, he had a chainsaw on him, but IDK why. ILY James.”

“Jen, I know you use a lot of abbreviations and such, but this is the real world, you can’t actually do that.”

“James,” Jen raised an eyebrow at him. “This is a story invented by Greg, of course I can say IDK and ILY. I can also make fun of Stephen Gately’s death, because it’s just a story, but I won’t because the real Jen probably wouldn’t make fun of Stephen Gately’s death.”

“ROFL.” James responded.

“I also saw Andy tying up Lauren, those Brotherhood folks sure are weird, aren’t they?” Jen asked James.

“When did you become American? Greg, what have you done to Jen? Let’s go find them.” James resolved.

“Um, why?”

“Uh, no reason. To save Lauren. That’s all. Nothing horrid or kinky.”

“...Alright.” Jen looked mildly uncomfortable, and kept a distance of 2 feet away from James as they walked towards where she had last seen Lauren and Andy.

“I can’t believe I’m being held at McFly-point.” Darenn moaned. “It’s humiliating.”

“You know what Darenn, shut up, I made you a new avatar set last week, so you can stop your complaining and just deal with it, okay?” Nicky rolled her eyes.

“That’s a keeper.” Doug pointed at the digital display on Christina’s camera – the two had taken to taking ridiculously poser pictures together, and weren’t taking the hostage malarkey seriously, much to Sam!’s annoyance.

“I don’t understand why you can’t just let me kill them, it’s not fair.” Andy tried to reason with Sam, who was shaking his head.

“You don’t understand, I’m the butt of so many cam***** jokes on TiBB, Mark makes so many of them, I have to kill him. CHRISTINA WILL YOU STOP TAKING PICTURES AND START TAKING NAMES AND KICKING ASS, PLEASE.”

Christina ignored Sam, he's not threatening in the slightest.

“I don’t make jokes about you!” Mark insisted. “Seriously, I don’t, I think you should let me go and we should both kill Andy.”

“No, Waldorf, that’s not how this works.” Andy waved his spear threateningly. “I’m going to be a moderator, just like Ben, you can’t be a moderator, you’d sticky the Britney thread and delete the Brotherhood!”

“Well you’d delete the Britney thread and sticky the Brotherhood thread, I can’t let that happen!” Mark tossed his hair dramatically, forgetting that he is in fact a teenage boy, and not Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, Leighton Meester or ANY OTHER POP CULTURE CELEBRITY.

“Boys, boys, calm down.” Christina intervened.

“Yeh, listen to Gongeth lool.” Sam spoke in a language that nobody else understood.

“I think the only way we can settle this fairly is if we all walk away from this situation and if we meet again by chance, we just kill each other on sight. Trying to decide who’s going to kill who just now won’t achieve anything. Besides, I-” Christina suddenly stared at something behind everyone else; causing everyone to turn around.

An ethereal, almost ghost like vision of 30stone was walking towards the group.

“Ben!” Andy and Christina shouted in delight.

“A moderator...” Everyone else but Lauren gasped in awe.

“A ghost?!” Lauren was the only one to even question the absurdity of this storyline.

Dezzy, from his position in the trees above, had the coolest power of them all. He had a hologram machine. He’d spent hours on photoshop, designing 30stone, and then loading him onto the hologram projector – he’d had to climb up a tree, or he’d never have had the peace. Now he had a distraction. He had scampered down from the tree, and had now reached the fringes of the group. He grabbed Nicky, and broke her neck, which was really sad because Dean will probably go to jail for killing Nicky; and it’ll make headline news and Trevor MacDonald will do a special report on it, it’ll be really emotional and Nicky’s family will make appeals to the public and stuff.

The squabbling group heard Nicky’s dying shriek of ‘tell Harry I love him!’ but not because they cared for her death, but because they thought she meant TiBB Harry.

“Nicky, that’s disgusting!” came the chorus of voices.

“Oh, she’s dead. Hey, is that Dezzy?” Darenn asked.

“Yes Darenn, it is I, Dezzy, I too am a part of this game. That is not the real 30stone, it was merely a hologram I used to trick you all so I could kill Nicky!”

“But why Nicky?!” Doug looked sad. “She was such a nice girl!”

“Yes, but Doug,” Dean spoke wisely. “Greg doesn’t know Nicky particularly well enough to be able to take the piss out of her in a funny way, so beyond jokes about McFly he had nothing else to joke about, it was her time to die.”

“Ohhhh.” Everyone, including Nicky who reanimated briefly for the sake of acknowledgement, sighed in realisation.

“Well, as I was saying, I think we should all go our separate ways. Dean, you go North. Doug, you go North West. Sam, you go West. Call me! Anyone gonna get that one? No? Anyway. Lauren, you go South West. Andy, go down South on m- wait no, go South. Mark, you go South East Asia, you superstar you. Darenn, you go East, and I’ll go North East.”

“Okay, cool, sounds like a plan. Anyone know which way is South?” Andy asked.

“Uhh... I have no idea, actually.” Christina admitted.

“Dunnoo lool.” Sam chipped in.

“Well, what do we do?” Dean asked.

Everyone instantly turned to Lauren.

“Laaaaaaureeeeeen do you know?” They asked the human encyclopedia of knowledge and advice.

“Well, as it happens, I do kn-” Lauren began.

“Oh shock.” Mark said sarcastically, but he too listened as Lauren pointed them all in the right direction, and the eight of them parted ways, not realising that if they all continued to travel in the stated direction, they wouldn’t actually meet up again, and at some point they’ll have to stop travelling that way if they are to have any kind of fight. UNLESS, that is, I have some clever (or more likely, completely random) plot twist that draws them all together... Lauren will probably challenge the logic of it. Clever bitch. I hate her, she knows everything.

End of Chapter Two.

13-10-2009, 09:27 PM

That's me done for tonight folks, I'll write more tomorrow, hope you're enjoying it so far, and absolutely no offence is intended, it's all meant in good fun, and I hope it's making you laugh :).

LemonJam

13-10-2009, 09:35 PM

I rofled so much <3

Luvvit.

Ninastar

13-10-2009, 09:45 PM

Pmsl! Its amazing! cant wait for tommorow

Jen

13-10-2009, 09:50 PM

I adore this.
Cheers Greg <3

(:

Shaun

13-10-2009, 09:52 PM

WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN INVOLVED SINCE THE FIRST?
i've killed myself with a hand grenade haven't I? :(

30stone

13-10-2009, 10:11 PM

Whoo i made a guest appearance (=

Ross

13-10-2009, 10:23 PM

I love it!

13-10-2009, 10:26 PM

Well, it'd be a bit forced if I made everyone appear in each chapter at the moment, seeing as there are still 14 people left, but no worries Shaun, the people who didn't feature in Chapter 2 will feature strongly in Chapter 3! :D

14-10-2009, 08:23 PM

I've started writing chapter 3 guys; but I've had lots of work to do today and I'm away to go over to a party at other halls - but I will post more tomorrow!! :D

Iceman

14-10-2009, 08:28 PM

Just read it all there, its quality....had me in stitches

Tom4784

15-10-2009, 02:28 PM

I LAVVED IT! The Twilight and Ross part had me in stitches and I kick so much ass. I love the bracket jokes.

MarkWaldorf

15-10-2009, 02:30 PM

mark waldorf is copyrighted, greg. using my name uninformed is an arrestable offence!

Shaun

15-10-2009, 02:32 PM

So the death toll atm stands at Nicky. and Firewire :( [RIP.]
BETS ON THE NEXT?

MarkWaldorf

15-10-2009, 02:33 PM

twilight was spotted filming scenes on a bridge I'M SCARED :(

Tom4784

15-10-2009, 02:35 PM

Have you ever seen "The Condemned"

Was a good read i always enjoy, well mostly enjoy these sorta things.

Do yourself a favour and watch Battle Royale, The Condemmed's a pale imitation of it.

Sam!

15-10-2009, 03:40 PM

Wow, it's good Greg, and I'm in it, wahey. :thumbs:

Braden

15-10-2009, 04:16 PM

sounds amazingly interesting

15-10-2009, 07:02 PM

Chapter 3

Dean clambered back up the tree and collected his hologram machine. He started to climb back down, to head North, but once he was back down on the ground, he realised that MarkWaldorf hadn’t left the clearing like everyone else had.

“Hi? Can I help you?” Dean asked, gripping his (lol) hologram machine tightly.

“Hi, you know, I was just wondering where you got that hologram machine?”

“Oh it was my mom’s in the sixties.”

“Vintage, I love it!”

“Thanks!” Dean smiled appreciatively at Mark, and then began to walk away. Mark produced what looked like a gun and aimed it at Dean’s back. He fired it, and shards of glass exploded out of the barrel, and many of these shards became embedded in Dean’s back. Dean fell to the ground, crying out in pain, and MarkWaldorf walked towards him triumphantly.

“I always wanted one of these,” Mark said as he walked towards Dean, talking about the hologram machine. “They’re so fetch.”

Mark felt cool and calm as he walked towards Dean, who was mumbling in pain, and as he walked around Dean to prise the hologram machine from his fingers, Dean rolled over and smacked Mark across the face with the heavy machinery. Mark hit the ground instantly, bleeding profusely.

“Mother****er!” Mark shouted angrily, his nose bleeding heavily.

“Yeah my weapon can multitask, what can yours do?” Dean made a compulsory penis joke.

Mark angrily fired his glass gun at Dean, causing shards of glass to hideously disfigure Dean’s face; which in turn absolutely scared the **** out of Mark ‘cause, you know, ugly people are gross. Dean responded by crashing his hologram machine down on top of Mark, crushing his arm, and Mark fired the gun again, the force of the short range shot causing Dean to fly back and hit the ground – the glass that had been in his back now forced further into his body. Dean could not even scream in pain, and he knew he was dying, but he couldn’t let MarkWaldorf of all people have a hologram machine, who knew what kind of untold horrors would occur if Mark had one? I don’t know, actually, Mark what would you do if you had a hologram machine? Hm, might start a thread on that... Uh, yeah. Dean forcibly pushed himself up onto his feet, and Mark looked appalled that he was still fighting. Dean kicked the glass gun out of Mark’s hand, caught it in mid air, spun around and shot his hologram machine with the glass gun. The hologram machine exploded theatrically, and a huge fireball erupted into the sky just because if this ever gets turned into a film it would have to have one. Dean continued to pirouette and turned back around to fire the gun at MW, but MW had started charging towards Dean (all of this is in slo-mo, obv) and slammed into Dean before he could get off (HAHA) a shot. Dean hit the ground, the glass driving into him further and instantly killing him. MarkWaldorf started taking protein shakes and drinking beer COZ HE IZ A MANLY MAN no but yeah but no. Mark rolled off Dean (I am a terrible person, Dean’s dead and I still made a sex joke...) and picked himself up off the floor. He’d just made his first kill.

Caitlin had been blessed with a sniper rifle. Admittedly the bullets she had for it were only rubber, and were not nearly as likely to kill someone as a real bullet, but if she scored a hit, it would be critical. She had been confused at first by the entire situation, mostly because she had been sitting on TiBB until about 4am the night before, and had reached that stage where your body’s gone to sleep but your eyes are still open – you all know what I’m talking about, you know, the feeling that you don’t actually have a life to live anymore, your entire purpose is to just sit and talk in The Den or The Brotherhood or The Lounge until your face falls off and Japan becomes an acceptable name for a cat... Sorry, I got carried away there. Cleft. Anyway, Caitlin had been on TiBB until the early hours, and then all of a sudden she woke up on this strange island, sniper rifle in tow. She had found the picture and had felt physically sick at the thought of killing people, but then she realised that she was, for all intents and purposes, defending herself. She was in the middle of nowhere, with fifteen other people who were in the same situation as her, why shouldn’t it be a dog eat dog self defence scenario? So, Caitlin threw caution to the wind, and started to take things seriously very quickly. She had been annoyed when she missed the shot at James and Shaun, but it had them running scared. Caitlin’s weapon was of no use from short range, she had to stay hidden in the shadows and bide her time to survive. She had been traipsing through the jungle in vain, in her search for somebody to kill. She had been heading to the north of the island, and had eventually stopped walking and had climbed up a tree.

Caitlin had not expected anybody to come anywhere near her, or at least, not as soon. Nor did she expect the one person she really wanted to kill to appear – Christina. Christina was a lovely girl, even Caitlin could admit that, but the reason she wanted to kill her so badly was because she just couldn’t cope with the thought of other women muscling in on her territory – namely, 30stone. Ben. If Caitlin could only just win this, she would be in the moderating team with Ben. She, not Christina, or Brona, or any other dangerously close to being jailbait Ben you should probably stop talking to Stefani I think she’s like five btw just warning you....... um, did you just hear that? No? So anyway, Caitlin and Caitlin alone would be on the mod team with Ben, and she could finally make her move. She began to silently insert (lololol) bullets into her sniper rifle, and then carefully took aim at Christina. Christina noticed Caitlin in the nick of time, and with her incredible knowledge of how to work her camera, she turned on the flash, aimed at Caitlin and clicked the button. The blinding flash of Christina’s camera impaired Caitlin’s vision, and she fired off a shot that went wide. Caitlin toppled out of the tree, taking her sniper rifle with her. She managed to roll as she landed; taking the edge off the impact, but her sniper rifle skittered away from her. Christina ran towards Caitlin and kicked her in the side of the head as she tried to get up, launching Caitlin backwards. Caitlin scrambled to her feet and ducked Christina’s fist (FIST HAHAHAHAHAHA yeah I don’t really know any boundaries) and (donkey?)punched Christina on the back of the neck (yeah.. yeah donkey punch.. oh baby yeah). Christina fell to the ground, quickly rolled over and hacked at Caitlin’s shins with her feet, flooring Caitlin as well. The two girls rolled about in the mud on the ground together, tearing each other’s clothes and... oh boy, brb.

...1 minute later...

Sorry, I was uh... busy... What do you mean I was only away for a minute? It was like ten minutes! No, I’m not one of those people who ‘gets a little bit excited too early’, how dare you! I don’t even know what you’re talking about, I had to... uh, feed my cat! What do you mean I was on webcam and you saw the whole thing? What?! Noooooooo!

“You’re a bitch!” Caitlin shrieked at Christina, trying hard to get to her sniper rifle; but Christina kept knocking Caitlin down; and when Christina tried to grab it, Caitlin would stop her. Eventually, Christina got to the sniper rifle, grabbing the butt (XXXtina strikes again)of the rifle and swinging it round to hit Caitlin on the head; but Caitlin ducked out of harm’s way, and did a legsweep that sent Christina clattering to the ground. Caitlin scooped up the rifle and fired at Christina’s head from extremely close range. Even though it was only a rubber bullet; that didn’t stop it from killing poor Christina – and Caitlin was covered in her blood. Caitlin stepped away from Christina’s dead body, and then, as a sickening afterthought, she picked up Christina’s camera, took a picture and walked away... fapfapfapfapfap.

Shaun didn’t appreciate being ignored for this long in the story, so it turns out he found an elephant in the wilderness, trained it to juggle while farting the theme tune to Friends and took it on tour to Cape Verde and the Canary Islands. So that’s what he’s been up to for the last couple of chapters. Due to an unforeseen series of unfortunate events, he ended up back on the island, mere hours after he had discovered the elephant, because life’s twisted like that. So Shaun continued to trek through the jungle, without a weapon, it seemed. He eventually came across the dead bodies of Dean and Nicky (I thought I knew you, man... that **** is disgusting) in the clearing, and wondered what had happened to them. He shrugged the question off, and kept walking. After some time, Shaun realised that there were footprints beneath where he was walking – he had been inadvertently following somebody. He became very wary, as he still didn’t know what or where his weapon was, so he started to creep carefully. He thought to himself who am I going to find? Lauren would ****ing batter me. Shaun heard the caterwauli- no, no, he heard the siren call of five sultry voices, or was that six? Shaun fell into a trance-like state as he walked towards the source of the music. It sounded like Girls Aloud, but something wasn’t quite right... Shaun finally drew close enough to the music to realise that he had fallen into a trap – Doug had been playing the music to entice the other competitors, but so far only Shaun had appeared. He wondered why nobody else had been drawn to the music. Maybe he’d chosen the wrong song? Untouchable hadn’t charted high, but it was still a good song, wasn’t it?

“No, it isn’t a good song, I’m only drawn towards it because I wanted to turn it off.” Shaun answered Doug’s thoughts, which was strange because Shaun can’t hear thoughts. Or can he...? That’s a scary concept. WHAT AM I THINKING OF RIGHT NOW SHAUN!? Ha, I knew you didn’t know.

“Well it worked, now I’m going to kill you!” Doug cackled, and suddenly morphed into a leather one piece suit.

“Oh.” Shaun sighed, as his outfit morphed into an Easter bunny outfit.

“What the ****?” Doug asked, before running towards Shaun, kicking off the ground and doing a back flip.

Doug was only mid flip when Shaun lunged forward and headbutted him. Doug’s flip was an EPIC FAIL and he crumpled into a heap on the ground. Shaun quite calmly then sat on Doug’s face (hehehe) and suffocated him, and a cameraman filmed it and posted it on RedTube, ‘cause it involves leather, suffocation and bunny outfits, just the kind of thing you’re looking for on that site, you know? Doug struggled, he really did, but his attempts to escape from underneath the sadistic bunny Shaun were futile. If you can imagine it, all you can see of Doug from a side on view is his flailing arms and legs, and Shaun has this really uninterested look on his face and the bunny suit is white with a pink stomach and pink ears. Got it? Yeah, pretty ****in’ hysterical, isn’t it?

I’m Ron Burgundy?

End of Chapter 3.

LemonJam

15-10-2009, 07:27 PM

roflmao, I love this <3

MOAR

Shaun

15-10-2009, 07:29 PM

i'm sorry doug :(

Tom4784

15-10-2009, 07:58 PM

That was hilarious but I've got one gripe, MARK WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED ME!? I love him but I coulda killed him with my little finger and my eyes covered in a blindfold! I had an epic death though.

The whole Shaun Vs Doug thing was hilarious.

Shaun

23-10-2009, 01:59 PM

ya you've had a long enough break greg gtf back in here

Billy

24-10-2009, 01:44 AM

LOL SO GOOD.

despite the absence of me.

Twilight

28-10-2009, 04:12 AM

OMG i only just found this and its amazing<3

Christina

28-10-2009, 04:27 AM

All 3 of these are amazing lmao!!! LOL at me and Caitlin's fight for Ben :laugh: Keep this up it's great!!

P.S - Caitlin you sod :( haha joke!

Stephanie

28-10-2009, 04:44 AM

Ben you should probably stop talking to Stefani I think she’s like five btw just warning you....... um, did you just hear that? No?
lmao!

26-11-2009, 09:25 PM

After a ridiculous hiatus, here's the next instalment!

Chapter 4

Ross and Twilight had finally come to a satisfactory conclusion to their business arrangement, which entailed royalty fees going to Ross and the rights belonging to Twilight Twitty’s “people”, it was kinda immoral but she’s a superstar and all. They stood up, shook hands, Ross gave her a cheekii finger : o and then paused.

“I’m not turning my back on you, you could kill me.” Twilight fingered her bow (oh c’mon) nervously.

“Why would I do that? We’ve worked out an agreement that benefits us both, I wouldn’t then kill you!” Ross retorted. Rrrrrrr.

“You could kill me and change the terms of it and then get rich! And I’d be dead!”

“But you need to sell your story before I can make any money – and you can’t sell your story if you’re dead.” Ross reasoned. Rrrrrrrrrrrr.

At that moment, the two moneygrabbers heard a noise out in the forest, and both immediately swung round to see what made the noise. It was Sam. Ross instinctively fired at Sam, who launched himself behind a tree, escaping the blast. Ross fired at the tree three times, eventually blasting a hole through it, but Sam was no longer there, he had disappeared again. Emily fired arrows at random into the forest, hoping to hit Sam, but she had no luck. Ross and Emily stopped, and retreated into the shadows.

“How can we even hit him? He’s so skinny he’s practically 2D!” Emily hissed.

“I know how we can lure him out, but we need a prop.” Ross whispered back.

“What? I’m famous, I can get whatever I want whenever I want, tell me and I’ll get it.” Twilight boasted.

“Get me a laptop and a webcam. I know just how to lure him in.” Ross gave Emily a devilish grin, and in a heartbeat, a laptop and webcam appeared, along with a huge bag of fanmail.

“You get a bag of fan mail every time you get something else?” Ross queried.

“Contractual agreement. I don’t even have to read the mail, I just have to be papped with a bag of fan mail. Hey, do you think there are any paparazzi lurking around here?” Emily fixed her hair hopefully, btw it looks better straight gurl (yeah and that’s a not so subtle dig at you, Zeta House. No I’m kidding, you’re all fiercer than a feral cat <333 jesus, I can’t even type that ironically, I want to die...).

“I see,” Ross gave me an odd look. “Well, that’s us online now.” Ross said, turning on the webcam. “Now, we wait...”

Ross positioned the webcam to be pointing at his crotch, and within seconds, Sam had been drawn out of the forest.

“Gotcha!” Ross grinned at Emily, and then gave her the signal. Emily raised her bow and arrow, but Sam’s impending death was postponed, for James and Jen had been silently witnessing the whole debacle, and finally interrupted it to save Sam. The pair had decided to follow the path in a westerly direction, and had seen Ross and Emily firing at Sam. They hid amongst the bushes, and then saw Sam being drawn towards the webcam, and knew that they couldn’t just sit and watch Sam be lured to his death. Jen sprinted out of the woods and rugby tackled Sam; and James rushed towards Ross and Emily, throwing hyperlinks to 4girlsfingerpaint at Ross. The sick pornography split Ross’ armoured shell, causing critical internal damage to the suit. Ross’ control over the movements of the suit was non-existent, and the arm of the suit jerked out to the right, hitting Twilight square in the face (NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE!)

“Not in the face! How can I be a celebrity now?!” Emily shrieked, blood streaming down her face. She had actually been flung backwards due to the sheer force of the blow, and her truce with Ross was immediately revoked. She fired her bow and arrow at his now weakened armour, and the arrow lodged itself in the neck of Ross’ suit, causing him to stagger around, out of control.

Sam and Jen rolled around on the forest floor. Sam was punching Jen for rugby tackling him, and Jen was trying to get away from Sam because he isn’t Roger Federer. Jen wriggled out of Sam’s grasp, kicked him in the face when he grabbed her ankle, and sprinted towards James, who had been knocked down by the out of control Ross.

“James!” Jen sobbed, in an overdramatic, OC type way.

“Jen, I think I’m dying...” James croaked, in an overdramatic, One Tree Hill type way.

“Oh James, you can’t die! You have so much to live for!” Jen stars in the new series of 90210

“I think I can see the light...” James features in the next episode of Gossip Girl. “...xoxo.”

“Huh?” Jen looked confused, and somewhere way off in the distance, MarkWaldorf squealed in delight.

“No wait, I’m fine.” James got up, and was immediately struck back down by an arrow through the shoulder.

“Oh my Christ!” Jen screamed in horror.

“...Piss.” James said, before passing out.

Jen felt an arrow whizz past the back of her head, and she quickly scampered away from James, hiding amongst the bushes once more.

Ross staggered around the forest, his armour now deeply penetrated by arrows (I honestly don’t want to signpost these euphemisms anymore, the joke’s getting old) and Twilight advanced upon him. She threw away her bow and arrow (typical n00b error!) and ninja kicked Ross in the arm, breaking off the metallic exterior and exposing bare flesh. She shrieked victoriously, and continued to attack the hapless Ross, until he was covered in very little armour.

“Emily! For the love of God, stop!” Ross begged for his life, but Twilight wasn’t listening.

“I’m not your ****ing Emily!” Spot the Orphan reference there? Twilight ferociously kicked Ross under the chin, snapping his neck and messing up his hair (you BITCH! YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH! HE HAD IT CUT RECENTLY!)

Meanwhile, Sam had given up his fight against Jen, and had instead turned his attention towards James, who was lying prone, ass up in the air, just waiting to take it deep. Ha no, but James was in a bad way, and Sam knew that now was his chance. He charged towards James furiously, and James tried to move out of the way – his movements were weak and as he clambered to his feet, Sam rammed into him and knocked him back down, driving the arrow back inside James’ shoulder. James hollered in excruciating pain, and Sam hit the deck due to the force of his tackle (I couldn’t resist... haaahahahahahaha). Sam got to his feet once more, and menacingly walked slowly towards James, who couldn’t even open his eyes, the pain was so terrible.

“They all laughed at me,” Sam bitched. “They all took the piss out of me, never thought I’d be this mean eh?”

“Please, Sam,” James begged, tears freely flowing from his eyes. “Don’t do this, please...”

“I have to, James, I want to live, I want to be a moderator and I want to win.” Sam edged closer and closer to James.

“Oh sweet Jesus, no! No!” James shrieked, he finally managed to open his eyes, saw his bloodied shoulder and the looming figure of Sam approaching him. “What the hell is that in your hand? What the hell is that in your hand?!” James’ cries for help were haunting.

Jen cowered in the bushes, observing Sam advance towards James. She saw the weapon in his hand, and she knew that she should help James. Should. There was no guaranteeing that by intervening, she would save him. Nor was there any guarantee that he wouldn’t turn on her later. She reasoned with herself that James was on his way anyway, that shoulder looked pretty bad, and he would never know that she had bailed on him... except if he could read her thoughts, either by mind reading, or in a post on a forum... But that would never happen. Jen realised the bitter reality of her situation; playing a game of death with people she’d never met before, she would have never have dreamed that this would happen, yet here she was, hiding in the bushes from Twilight and Sam!. She was silently seething at Sam; she had pushed him out of the way of certain death, and now he was going to get James, but she didn’t know what to do, so she just watched...

Sam raped James to death. His weapon was his penis. Hope you enjoyed it James. Jen certainly enjoyed watching.

Twilight made her escape. Sam was preoccupied with destroying James’ hoop, and Jen was nowhere to be seen, so she fled into the woods, picking up her bow and arrow on the way. She never wanted to kill Ross, and she really did mean every word of their pact, but ultimately she discovered that she just couldn’t trust him, or anybody. She supposed that sometimes you can’t make it on your own, but this time she would have to.

Twilight Twitty ft. U2 – Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own, out on Monday the 30th November.

End of Chapter 4.

Stephanie

26-11-2009, 09:37 PM

lmfao, this is really good

Stu

26-11-2009, 09:40 PM

Seriously quality stuff.

LemonJam

26-11-2009, 09:41 PM

Hahahahahaha I actually rofled.

Shaun

26-11-2009, 10:37 PM

*scatters dirt on James' grave*

*commits necrophilia in Ross'*

27-11-2009, 12:03 AM

Chapter 5

Shaun had been following MarkWaldorf for quite some time. He was surprised that Mark hadn’t sensed that he was being followed, with such a high post count you’d think he was like Jesus or something. Appaz not. Mark had, at one point, shrieked in delight, but Shaun wasn’t sure why – perhaps he had heard something in the distance? This thought worried Shaun, surely Mark could hear him? What if he was being hunted? He kept this in mind as he skulked in the shadows, a respectable distance away from the Waldorf.

Mark entered a part of the woods that was different to the rest; the ground was moist and the fauna was much different to the rest of the woods. The air seemed denser and the change put Shaun on edge. He too edged into this new territory, and watched in awe as Jen stumbled through the marshland, dishevelled and distraught. Shaun wondered what Mark was thinking. And because this is my story, let’s hear Mark’s thoughts! I heard that Gossip Girl reference that Sheppy mess made, I’ll take it out on his best friend! Nobody uses a Gossip Girl reference on their death bed! Or something like that. Probably with some emoticons in there.

Mark leapt forward, knocking Jen to the ground. Mud flew in all directions; the ground here was extremely fertile, but there was nothing growing there; Mark and Jen were having a mud fight. Shaun decided to make a judgment call. He could either watch and see how this turned out, and ‘bate furiously, or he could get involved. As tempting as the first option was to Shaun, he decided to get down and dirty in the mud. Shaun circled round the scrapping pair, and suddenly burst through the clearing and charged towards them. They were oblivious until Shaun was nearly upon them, and Mark was sent flying into the mud; Jen’s legs getting trampled. Shaun skidded to a halt, turned around to do more damage, but his legs were hooked by Mark’s, and he was sent toppling face first into the mud. Not to be outdone; Jen picked up mud and flung it into Mark’s face, blinding him long enough for Jen to get back to her feet. She aimed a kick at Shaun’s crotch, but Shaun rolled out of the way. She motioned to do it again, but Shaun grabbed her ankle and flipped her up in the air, causing Jen to land on her back. Mark crawled on top of Shaun and started slapping his face and pushing mud into his eyes, but Jen, despite being winded, tackled Mark off of Shaun. The three users lay gasping for breath in the mud, and then all three realised that they had stopped fighting.

“All singing, all dancing interlude?” Mark suggested. The others nodded slowly in agreement, and ludicrously, out of nowhere, Britney Spears’ song ‘3’ began to play, somewhere high above the forest. The three of them danced provocatively to the song, but Simon took it to deadlock and they were eliminated. If only it were that painless for them.

Jen attempted to punch the air at the end of the song, but instead gave Mark an uppercut to the chin. He yowled in pain; he had bitten his tongue. Mark reeled away from the other two, leaving Shaun and Jen to face each other. Shaun moved first; dropping down low, grabbing mud and hitting Jen square in the face, just as she was about to launch mud at Shaun. Shaun used the opportunity to charge at Jen, and caused her to run backwards as he sped up towards a tree with a handily placed, very sharp branch poking at just the right angle, at just the right height... Well, what happens next is somewhat graphic and mildly arousing, so I won’t go into details.
[scene deleted]
Shaun licked the blood off of his fingers, and cursed his high libido. Mark had a look of horror etched onto his face; and if he lived beyond this fight with Shaun, he would always have the image of [censored] burned into his eyes. Whenever he closed them to sleep, he would see [censored]. Poor, poor Jen.

Mark’s face suddenly twisted into an expression of utter hatred and rage. Shaun had [censored] Jen, it was a sick thing to do, and Mark didn’t want that to happen to him. He was not going to let Shaun [censor] him like he had [censored] Jen. Mark dropped slightly, bracing himself for his next move. Suddenly, without warning, taking Shaun by surprise, Mark flipped his hair in the way that only he and Britney Spears could do, bedazzling Shaun and sent him crashing to the floor. Mark strutted forward, which caused the ground beneath Shaun to bounce with attitude, tossing him further away from Mark with every step he took. Eventually Shaun smashed into YOU (sorry, divas on the brain, ignore that) a tree and was pinned against it as Mark reached him. Mark suddenly realised that now he had Shaun at his mercy, he didn’t really know what he was meant to do. Shaun took advantage of this and punched Mark; but instead, he triggered a switch that revealed Mark’s true identity. Ingeniously, the switch was hidden in a place that nobody would have ever thought to look – where Mark’s balls should have been. Mark suddenly stiffened up (ha) straight (HA) and his head tilted back; his arms rigidly snapped to his sides and his skin slipped off him as if it were a dressing gown. Shaun gasped in horror, as he read the corporate marking lasered onto MarkWaldorf’s cold, metallic, robotic chest: aristabot.

Shaun couldn’t believe his eyes. Standing very still in front of him was arista. Arista was MarkWaldorf. He couldn’t believe it; how could he not have known? How was this possible? It didn’t make any sense. Shaun tentatively stood up and took a few steps away from arista, scared in case arista reactivated. Shaun began to walk backwards, away from arista, and as soon as he turned around to run, he heard an ominous, grating, electronic voice utter ‘Sign Of The Times’. Shaun stopped, and with a sassy ‘bitch no’, he turned around and marched back up to arista. He punched arista, but hurt his fist in the process, and buckled away from the immovable robot.

“Your blows Will
Not hurt me,
Shaun
Life In The Fast Lane”

“You’re a freak.” Shaun huffed, and then started pelting arista with mud from a safe distance. Eventually, after some time had passed, Shaun had covered arista in mud from his robotic feet up to his waist.

“Young Shaun You are a
Dirty Boy”

“Shut up. Just, shut up. I don’t know what you are, I don’t understand you and I have no idea how you got away with pretending to be Mark for so long, but I’m going to end you.” Shaun found a large rock, and smashed it against aristabot’s back. His circuits buzzed ferociously; blue electricity sparking out of the mainframe, and arista suddenly started spouting information.

“The Hulk Nevada nuclear Warfare schizophrenia Cher kitchen Porter” arista babbled at high speeds.

Arista’s metallic head exploded, and Shaun had to duck to avoid being hit with the hot shards of arista (what an epic cum joke).

“Wow,” Shaun said to himself. “Did I just get arista’s back story there before he died?” He shrugged his shoulders, there was nothing he could do now to find out more, and with one last look at Jen, and one last [censored], he lurched out of the humid tropic of this part of the forest. Shaun walked for what felt like hours, and then decided to stop for a break. He sat down on a tree stump, catching his breath, and his stomach rumbled in hunger. He spotted a cute looking fox staring at him, and smiled at it. He licked his lips, and wondered how hard it would be to catch a fox. He looked all around him without moving, trying to see if he had anything to hand that he could use to capture and kill the fox. He realised that he had a shard of arista caught in a fold in his jeans, and carefully picked it up without breaking eye contact with the fox. Slowly, he rose to his feet, barely blinking, and quietly crunched across dry leaves towards the intimidated fox. He was nearly upon the fox, when he heard the sound of a gun go off, and then seconds later realised that he was on the ground, dazed and confused. Groaning, he rolled over, and felt the gorge in his stomach rise – Ninastar was climbing down from a nearby tree; sniper rifle slung over one shoulder. He turned back over to see where the fox had gone, but it was nowhere to be seen; and then with a moan of saddening realisation, he knew where the fox had gone – back into Caitlin’s avatar.

End of Chapter 5.

Shaun

27-11-2009, 12:11 AM

**** yes two kills <3

Stephanie

27-11-2009, 12:17 AM

pmsl amazing

Tom4784

27-11-2009, 12:36 AM

Rofl.

Twilight

27-11-2009, 12:37 AM

I love this sfm<3

GypsyGoth

30-11-2009, 12:40 AM

:laugh2: Well written Greg.

11-12-2009, 11:06 PM

Chapter 6

Mark the admin sat on the top floor of TiBB Towers, drinking champagne. Every so often, he casually threw a couple of chips onto the table, placing bets on hands of Blackjack as and when he felt like it. On either side of him were empty chairs, and indeed there were only two other people sitting at the table, bar the dealer – a repentant Magic – in the form of his fellow admins: James and Kaz. All three were dressed to impress, the two men wearing the finest suits, and Kaz wore a long, silver ball gown.

“When are they scheduled to arrive?” Kaz asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“Nine. They said nine.” Mark responded without taking his eyes off the game.

“They’re ten minutes late.” James ventured, sounding a little nervous.

“They’ll get here when they can.” Mark intoned dully.

“They” were a group of businessmen and women who had been invited by the admins to TiBB towers.

“Sirs, madam, they have arrived.” A voice called from the doorway to the top room.

“Thank you Roy, show them in.” Mark finally snapped his gaze away from the table, and ushered Magic to clear up the cards and be seated.

“I’m nervous.” Kaz stated in a serenely calm voice.

“Me too, but we’re going to be very rich after this, keep that in mind.” Mark smiled at Kaz, then James, and then at the doorway as they arrived.

“Hello Mark,” The ringleader nodded her head respectfully. “James, Kaz.”

“Hello Laura,” Mark responded in kind. “Stu, Niamh.”

“We all know why we’re here, I’d like to cut the bullshit and get on with proceedings, if that’s alright?” Laura’s ruthless side shocked the three admins.

“This isn’t the Princess I thought I knew!” Kaz whispered to James, who nodded his head in agreement.

The six took a seat at a large table: on the one side, Mark sat in the middle, Kaz to his left, James to his right; on the other sat Princess in the middle, Stu on her left and Niamh on her right. Mark clicked his fingers, and at a whim, Roy appeared with a folder and a laptop.

“Thank you Roy, you may return to Kizzy. Ladies and gentlemen,” Mark began his speech, whilst turning on the laptop. “As we are all aware, the ThisIsBigBrother domain name is, should things go to plan, going to change hands tonight. Our Irish investors wish to take full control of the site, which will come at a price, of course.”

“Understandably, Mark,” Laura nodded. “But we recently discovered the disturbing issue of missing TiBB members... To cut to the chase, we heard you’ve put some members in a Lord of the Flies situation, and the last member standing gets to return. Obviously we want a reduced price in compensation for the loss of long standing members.”

“That wasn’t part of our original agreement.” Mark had loaded up TiBB on screen.

“No, but neither was putting all those members on a deserted island.” Laura intimidated Mark.

“Well, we can put an end to it now; the Towers are on the very same island.” Mark suggested.

“I think that would be for the best, we need our regulars.” Laura, Stu and Niamh stood up, indicating that they wanted to stop the sick game there and then.

“I hardly think it’s appropriate for us to go out dressed like this,” Mark spluttered. “The conditions out there are truly barbaric, we could be hurt in the process.”

“No, Mark, you’re worried that you’ll be killed.” Stu raised an eyebrow.

“And I wouldn’t blame them,” Niamh leered at him with a sadistic grin. “You’ve created a right mess for yourself.”

“We’re going now, Mark, before it’s too late.” Laura said with a sense of finality, and Mark hung his head and took a step forward.

“Good.” Niamh smirked.

Darenn had gotten lost in the wilderness, and felt cold. He began to regret wearing skinny-everything clothing, and in particular he regretted wearing so little all the time. What a slut. He stumbled through the forest, tripping over hidden tree roots and cursing his bad luck every few steps, and eventually slumped against a tree root and started to cry. He didn’t have it in him to be a killer, he was cold, hungry and he didn’t want to be murdered. He had given up all hope. He sat and thought about his life, trying to remember all the good times, and found that he had had many. His reverie was finally interrupted by a sound that came from a fair bit away in the distance, but was unmistakeably the sound of a gun firing. Darenn sat upright, having snapped out of his mood, and began to hurry away from the direction of the gun fire. But then he stopped. He could keep running away, or he could be a hero (and probably die – tactical error). He decided to be the latter, he supposed that he couldn’t just run away every single time, he would die eventually that way, he would have to take action. Now. Darenn began to run towards the sound of the gun, and a renewed sense of urgency coarsed through him as he heard the sound of a high pitched, girly scream. He wondered who was in trouble. Was it Christina? Lauren? Jen? Darenn slowed down, and ducked into the shadows of a cluster of trees. He realised that the scream had come from Shaun, who was being tortured by Ninastar. Darenn studied the scene carefully, wondering what he could use to distract Caitlin. His weapon, a portable flamethrower, wasn’t a particular useful weapon – it had very limited ammunition, and was only of use on the beaches – which weren’t very good for providing cover. He had kept the weapon on him because it was better than nothing, but he needed something else to distract Caitlin. Darenn was startled, therefore, to see 30stone standing next to him.

“Ben, what the hell?” Darenn hissed.

Ben said nothing, and Darenn realised that, somehow, the hologram from Dezzy’s broken machine was still being projected and apparently had the facility to free roam round the island. Darenn blew on 30stone (lolol a blow joke) and sure enough, Ben shifted away from Darenn very slightly. A smile dawned on Darenn’s face, and he began to blow Ben round the periphery of the area where Caitlin was laying into Shaun (double whammy there!).

“Please, Caitlin, have mercy!” Shaun s0bbed.

“Where are the others? Have you seen any of the others?” Caitlin punched Shaun again.

“I haven’t! No! For the love of God, don’t do this!” Shaun tried to shield his face, only to get kicked in the stomach.

“Well if you don’t know anything, I guess this is it. Say goodbye!” Caitlin took a couple of steps back to aim her gun at Shaun, but in doing so, her line of sight widened and she saw 30stone moving towards her.

“Ben!” Caitlin shrieked, lowering her gun slightly, giving Shaun the time to scramble away from her and rush away into the forest. “****!”

Caitlin then realised that Ben was a hologram, and began to fire pot shots into the holographic Ben in rage. She heard a piercing scream in the blackness of the woods, and she moved quickly into the shrubbery to see who she’d shot.

“Darenn!” Caitlin screeched with laughter. “Oh this is too good to be true!”

“**** you, you psychotic bitch!” Darenn spat at her, blood leaking from his shoulder.

“Whatever.” Caitlin stepped back to shoot him, only to be hit on the back of the head with a rock. Caitlin stumbled forward, cursing in pain, and felt her legs go underneath her as Darenn kicked the back of her legs forcefully. He strained forward and saw the familiar face of Shaun smiling at him, holding several rocks in his hands. Shaun then began to pelt Caitlin with rocks at a close range, but she managed to roll out of the way and swung her rifle round, smashing into Shaun’s thigh. She attempted to do it again, but this time Shaun caught the butt of the rifle, and fired.

Shaun helped Darenn to his feet, and the pair hobbled away from the gruesome sight of Ninastar’s dead body. They eventually reached the edge of the forest, and lay down on the beach. They shared their stories, Darenn’s were uneventful, Shaun’s were full of death, and once they had finished sharing tales, they stared at the expanse of ocean for a while.

“We’re going to have to separate, aren’t we?” Darenn said after a while.

“I don’t want to kill you.” Shaun answered.

“Same. I don’t want to be alone though.” Darenn looked sad.

“Darenn...” Shaun began, but he wasn’t sure what to say.

Mark, James, Kaz, Laura, Stu and Niamh had exited the foreboding TiBB towers, and began to walk along the bridge that led to the island that the forum members were fighting on. The group came to the end of the bridge, and surveyed the wilderness. They stood on the beach, wondering which way to go first.

“I don’t trust you three. Niamh, escort Kaz; Stu, escort James; and I’ll escort Mark. We’ll fan out and meet back here in two and a half hours; so walk out for an hour and return in the next hour.” Laura commanded.

“What about the half an hour?” Mark was close to tears, he’d never felt so out of control before.

“Just in case we get into any trouble along the way, if people haven’t returned by the end of that time then we assume them to be dead.” Laura said gravely.

“Oh.” Mark responded, and the pairs began to trek into the jungle.

End of Chapter 6.

Stacey.

11-12-2009, 11:08 PM

Courtney123 ftw :)
nah,, joking guys!! :D
i hate myself, lmaoooooooo

Shaun

11-12-2009, 11:13 PM

Daren <3

great stuff, greg, i'm excited to see the....climax. *pervvvv*

Twilight

11-12-2009, 11:17 PM

<3 loves it sfm

CaraRawr

12-12-2009, 09:20 AM

lol, amazing. <3

Tom4784

12-12-2009, 01:02 PM

Rofl, Laura what a dark horse you are!

18-01-2010, 07:04 PM

Chapter 7.1

James and Stu made an unlikely pairing; to the untrained eye. One who was unfamiliar with their situation would wonder why two people, so remarkably different, would be walking through the jungle together. They were walking in silence, but would occasionally burst into bickering.

“I’m just saying, when we take over, we’re getting rid of the swearing filter.” Stu shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

“You wouldn’t!” James had to stop himself from yelling, instead hissing loudly. “You know it’s there for a reason!”

“Hey, what do you care, you’re getting a massive pay-off from this, so what if we’re allowed to swear?” Stu goaded James, knowing full well that James would care regardless of how much money he was paid.

“You know, just because Mark’s happy to sell his forum, doesn’t mean the rest of us are fine with it. Plus, you don’t know what you’re doing; you’ll need help to begin with.” James hinted hopefully.

“We’ll get used to it. We don’t need you,” Stu began to launch into a tirade, but before he could really get into it and start using swear words, you know, the really brutal stuff, he got SHOT IN THE FAAACE. Well, no he didn’t, he was actually hit in the face by a football. “What the hell?!” Stu shouted, rubbing his face where he’d been hit.

“Go!” A lone voice hollered from somewhere to the right; and suddenly James was on the floor, an arrow embedded in his shoulder.

“Holy....moly!” James, even in extreme pain, didn’t want to let Stu get a one up on him. “What on earth was that, that was quite alarming! My goodness, this is quite painful!”

“Look whatcha did to me, cut me so very deep, I need a doctor ‘cause this is starting to burn!” Twilight Twitty enchanted both Stu and James; as she fired a flaming bow at Stu, which narrowly missed him. Stu began to run for cover, but Andy kicked another football at him; a curling shot striking Stu on the side of the head, causing him to smash into a tree trunk. Stu used thirteen different swear words; it was actually quite impressive; ask him and I’m sure he’ll be able to tell you what they were.

“What on earth?!” James was shocked, more than anything. To see Andy and Twilight, of all people, teaming up in this was incredible. He felt his heart fill up with a warmth of happiness, he was truly witnessing history as it happened. And then he was hit with a sense of sadness; because he knew he was going to die if he didn’t fight back.

James scrambled to his feet, and started using his mod powers: he fired a ban at Andy, who narrowly dodged out of its way, and sent an infraction flying at Twitty, who deflected it with her stunning vocal range. Stu’s power was the most intriguing of them all; he amplified his voice and screamed the F word, sending Andy and Twitty tumbling to the ground. Stu began to advance on them, letting a string of swear words out of his mouth; but Andy countered by throwing the Brotherhood thread at Stu; which knocked him out due to its size. Twitty hit a high A, which James dodged, and he managed to critically hit Twilight with a lock; which in this odd universe meant that she was trapped in a cage. Andy panicked, and grabbed Stu’s motionless body to use as a shield; and started rapidly making new accounts to distract James. James deftly managed to ban them all, but Andy began to escape; so James suspended making new accounts. Andy shrieked in fear, dropped Stu and charged at James in one last, futile attempt to defeat him; but James sent a lock at Andy, which meant that Andy was trapped in the closet (that’s an R. Kelly joke there for you; nothing else... mmhmm.) Twilight and Andy both began to beg James for mercy; but realised that James had no intention of harming them. He put Stu in a cage too, for his own safety, and then sat down in front of Twitty’s cage.

“I want you both to listen to me. We’re here to stop this madness; it’s gone too far. Mark’s selling the forum to an Irish consortium, consisting of Stu there; Niamhxo and Princess.” James explained.

“What! No!” Twilight and Andy both gasped in horror.

“I’m going to go and try and find the others, and shut this whole thing down. Princess means business; she’s sent Niamh with Kaz and she herself is with Mark, we’re trying to get everyone who’s still alive out of here... Mark’s gone crazy; we’re just picking up the pieces here. Stu’s a bit of a loose cannon, so I’ve locked him up too, but I’ll come back for you, just hold tight.”

“Why can’t you let us out; take us with you?” Andy asked from behind the cupboard door.

“Well, to be honest, the thought of the three of you having to endure each other for a few hours is pretty funny, and deep down, I’m just as sadistic as the rest of you.” James grinned, and walked away from the trio whistling, laughing as he heard the sound of Twilight and Andy bickering.

biglover

18-01-2010, 07:07 PM

Zee whos taking part? or can we apply?? x

18-01-2010, 07:12 PM

Zee whos taking part? or can we apply?? x

I've been writing this story on and off for months; it just started with a random selection of users that I picked at random, this one's nearly finished but I might write another one in the future with a different bunch of people, it's been fun to write :hugesmile:

Shaun

18-01-2010, 07:12 PM

lmfao, that fight is epic. very creative and funny <3

Stephanie

18-01-2010, 07:12 PM

pmsl that was hilarious.

18-01-2010, 07:34 PM

Chapter 7.2

Niamh and Kaz had been traipsing through the forest for a while, and began to wonder if they were going to find anyone.

“We’re going to have to start heading back now, or we’ll be late.” Niamh checked her watch.

“I don’t understand it, you’d think we’d have found someone by now...” Kaz dropped an obvious hint that they were about to get into a fight.

“Stop right there!” An authoritative voice commanded the two women. They complied, without trying to see who had told them to stop.

“Ooer Lauren, you’re such a dominatrix lool!”

“Shut up, Sam. Who are you?” Lauren demanded.

“We are Niamhxo and Kaz from TiBB, we’re here to stop the fighting.” Niamh spoke calmly and clearly.

“I don’t believe you.” Lauren barked back at them.

“What don’t you believe?” Kaz asked calmly.

“That you’re here to stop this. I don’t know what you’re doing here, you weren’t on the picture, but you’re here now and I can’t trust you.” Lauren stepped out of the shadows, pointing a gun at the two women.

“Lauren, where did you get a gun? Ooer.” Sam followed Lauren, sounding nervous.

“Shut up, Sam. You’re lying to me, what are you really doing here?” Lauren was beginning to lose it; all three of them could see it, she was shaking and her voice was becoming strained, as if she was going to cry.

“We’re here to help, Lauren, you can be one of us again...” Kaz offered Lauren a smile, but this enraged Lauren.

“No! You don’t get it, do you? I don’t want to be a part of this. I shouldn’t be here! I left the forum, I quit my moderator job, yet I’m here! This is messed up, what the hell am I doing here? You people are sick, you’re animals! I’m not falling for any of your mind games, just be honest with me, what are you doing here?!”

“Lauren, we’re here to end all of this!” Niamh pleaded with her, but Lauren got even angrier and fired a warning shot in the air, raising a shriek out of Niamh, Kaz and Sam.

“Lauren, they’re not going to hurt us, stop pointing the gun at them!” Sam tried to grab Lauren’s arm, but she pushed Sam away and shot him. She gasped; he gasped; and then he fell forwards, face first into the ground.

“I didn’t mean to do that...” Lauren began to wail uncontrollably, and Kaz motioned forward to try and give her a hug, but Lauren panicked and fired a shot at Kaz, too. Kaz sunk to her knees, and fell onto her side, gasping for breath hopelessly.

“Oh ****! Oh ****!” Niamh was crying, and Lauren stared at Kaz’s dying body in horror.

“Right now she’ll be blacking out, you know?” Lauren began to speak, to someone who wasn’t there. “Why did I do that? Oh no...”

“Lauren?” Niamh whispered, not wanting to provoke her. “Lauren, put the gun down... please? Nobody’s trying to hurt you, please just don’t hold that gun...”

“She’ll be delirious now, she won’t know what’s going on, and any second now she’s going to see the light, although I don’t think that really happens... I guess that’ll be the last piece of knowledge I ever pick up.” Lauren began to smile despite her tears, and she rocked back and forth on her knees, ever so gently.

“Lauren? Lauren can you hear me? Put the gun down, Lauren. Please? Lauren, please?” Niamh suddenly let out a scream, as Lauren suddenly stared at her.

“You saw all of this. I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I can’t let you live to tell other people.” Lauren had, just like this story, lost the plot. Or did this story ever really have a plot to begin with? Hey look, a pair of scissors with wings just had sex with Christina Applegate on the back of that Heidi Montag shaped piñata! Cool!

“No! Don’t!” Niamh shut her eyes tightly and began to scream as loudly as she possibly could, but it was no use.

“I’m sorry Niamh.” Lauren fired. She took a step back, and observed the three dead bodies around her. She wiped her tears away, slipped the gun into her pocket and started walking away from the scene; in the direction of three caged TiBB members...

Shaun

18-01-2010, 07:37 PM

i hate Lauren now. bitch.

19-01-2010, 12:53 PM

I'll hopefully have 7.3 written tonight; and after that just one more chapter to go! :O

Tom4784

19-01-2010, 10:14 PM

Rofl at the fight scene. How dramatic was that last one :shocked:

03-04-2010, 02:06 AM

Chapter 7.2 and a half

Shaun and Darenn had spent several months waiting for me to let them move around in the story; so in the interim they had started dating and Shaun was 2 months pregnant with his and Darenn's baby: MrGaryy. The duo trekked around the island looking for stuff to do, but because they're both crap at orienteering, they gave up and settled down in a small clearing in the middle of some bushes. Shaun and Darenn had a rollercoaster of a relationship in the relatively short time they were together; one morning Darenn had really bad diarrhoea, like seriously bad, and Shaun threw him out for a whole two days before taking him back because he was throwing up everywhere due to morning sickness and realised he was just as bad as Darenn for disgusting bodily eruptions. I'm disgusting.

Coming shortly: Chapter 7.3...

Shaun

03-04-2010, 02:09 AM

pmsl :love:

Tom4784

03-04-2010, 02:17 AM

ROFL. Can't wait for more.

03-04-2010, 02:50 AM

Chapter 7.3

Shaun screeched at Darenn in a furious rage. Darenn sighed, having come to accept that Shaun, despite being the motherfather to his baby, would never be the one. They had had a bad break up, but they had remained in contact due to Shaun’s pregnancy. And the fact that they still lived on the same patch of clearing on the remote island where forum members were killing each other for the admin’s sick jollies. Darenn was used to all the abuse he got from Shaun, but this time it was different somehow. It took Darenn a moment or two to realise it; but he was feeling alert and on edge; as if somebody was watching him. He shushed Shaun (shockingly shutting Shaun’s shmoocher. Sh.) and crawled into the shadows, ushering his former lover to do likewise. Shaun stubbornly refused to do what Darenn told him to do: he was a strong, independent woman who could achieve anything on his/her own. Shaun immediately regretted his/her decision.

“I.. I don’t believe it.. I..” Shaun stuttered, feeling completely numb.

“Hello Shaun.” Admin Mark tried to smile at him through watery eyes, but ended up looking like he was grimacing.

“What are you doing here? Have you come to kill me?” Shaun did not feel afraid, just numbed by the overwhelming rush of different emotions.

“No. I’m here to put an end to all of this. To right my wrongs. I’m here to rescue you.” Mark stated boldly.

Darenn, meanwhile, had crawled through the bushes as quietly as he could, and was nearly out on the other side [/unintentional gay joke]. He scrambled through a convenient crawl space, and as he stood up, came face to face with Princess. Darenn’s survivor instinct took over, and he punched Princess in the stomach before she could utter a word. Darenn tried to push past her and run away from her, but she grabbed him by the shoulder to stop him. Darenn misinterpreted her intentions; and due to being punched, she could not speak – so he kicked her in the shins, causing her legs to buckle, and Darenn ran away as fast as he could.

“What do you mean, rescue me? After all of this, you’re just going to call it a day? Innocent people have died here! I’m a mass murderer!” Shaun suddenly felt tears rolling down his face.

“I’m so sorry for all of that Shaun, I don’t know how to even begin to explain how sorry I am, and I know that means absolutely nothing to you, to any of you. But I want you to know that I do feel remorse, and I will feel it for the rest of my life, however long that may be. I’m here with Princess... Laura! Laura, come in, it’s safe!” Mark shouted for his new boss.

Laura stumbled into the clearing, gasping for air.

“Darenn... he ran away, before I could tell him he was saved...” Laura wheezed.

“Oh God! We have to get him back now!” Shaun s0bbed. “He’s my unborn child’s father!”

“We will get him back, Shaun, but we can’t risk any more innocent forum members’ lives; we have to escort you off the island first, then we’ll go looking for him.” Laura’s voice was firm.

“Please! You can’t do this to me! You have to get him back! If you don’t let me go after him right now, he will die! Do you know who’s writing this story?!” Shaun screamed, and sunk to his knees, weakly pounding his fists against Mark’s chest. That sounds vaguely sexual, it’s not meant to be. Oops.

“Nah. Let’s bail.” Laura took one arm, Mark took the other, and together they dragged the pregnant Shaun to his feet. The three of them marched away in the direction of TiBB Towers; to the beat of Shaun’s steady crying and pleas to go after Darenn.

Lauren had been walking for what felt like months (again, I’m so very sorry for the wait) in a trance; she talked to her split personality: Marcjswp Fierce, in some kind of weird defence mechanism.

“You look oh so pretty today Marcy Marc, I’m going to put a ring on you.” Lauren chattered away to herself, before suddenly stopping. She snapped out of her trance to an extent, and realised she was staring at three cages, containing Twilight, Andy and Stu. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

“You’re Such a Mess, you Are Emo You Freak.” Andy squabbled with Twilight.

“Fail.” Emily shouted back, she stuck her fingers in her ears and shouted ‘la la la’ over and over.

“Oh please Andy, go listen to some real music and then you can dish out insults.” Stu laughed. “And as for you, Twilight, what’s with your new album? Experimental my ass; you plagiarised the hook of Sweeter Than Splenda from Depeche Mode!”

“Tbh you’re a fail.” Twilight 2baha/ed Stu.

Lauren observed the scene with a glazed over look; in her head she could visualise a word in gigantic, red writing, right before her eyes. She could hear the word loudly in her ears, and she could almost taste it on her tongue. Kill. These people had to die. It was the only way she could save herself. Lauren stepped into view, immediately silencing the arguing trio.

“Lauren?” Stu asked fearfully. “Lauren, it’s over. We’re saved! We’re just waiting for James to get back.”

“Stu... Stu! She’s got a gun! Stu, she’s got a ****ing gun!!” Andy scrambled backwards in his cage, trying to get away from the psychotic Faheybulous one.

“It’s only a beretta though, fail tbh.” Twilight smirked.

Lauren responded to Twilight’s insult with a bullet; killing the pop diva instantly.

“Oh ****! Oh ****!” Andy’s frantic cries of anguish turned into high pitched shrieks of fear.

“I’m gonna need a hell of a lot of weed if I’m ever gonna be ready for this... aw, piss.” Stu fumbled around in his pockets but realised he had nothing on him. My story, my rules BYAAAATCH! Aw now I feel bad, have a last smoke before your death Stu! :(

“Jesus Christ she’s gonna do it! HELP! HELP!” Andy hollered loudly, and his prayers were answered in the form of Darenn. Darenn heard the cries for help, and started running as fast as he could towards the shouts.

“Greg, can I have a lighter? Ta.” A cheap BIC appeared in front of Stu, and he lit his last spliff. “Jesus, this stuff is crap qualit-”

Lauren fired at Stu, hitting him square in the chest. He began to slowly bleed out. And that’s what you get when you complain about the quality of imaginary drugs in this nonsensical story, Stu. GOD.

“HELP!” Andy rattled the bars of his cage. “**** IT! JUST ****ING DO IT YOU CRAZY BITCH! SHOOT ME! I’LL TAKE ONE FOR THE TEA- no, not like that.” Andy shooed away the crowd of gays who suddenly appeared by his cage.

“Not on my watch!” Darenn made everyone cringe, and then ran towards Lauren. She turned her gun away from Andy, looked at Darenn and raised the gun.

“AAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Darenn bellowed a cry of anger and fear, and crashed into Lauren as the gun went off.

“Oh God!” Andy shut his eyes tight, not wanting to spoil the outcome of Darenn’s charge towards Lauren.

Darenn was covered in blood. He felt faint and dizzy, and wondered if this is what it felt like to die. Then he began to realise that he felt no pain. He opened his eyes, and looked at Lauren. She had that same, glazed over expression, except... she had a gun in her mouth. Darenn rolled away from Lauren, and realised she had committed suicide. Darenn began to cry openly, he didn’t care what Andy thought of him; he had run away from Shaun, and his unborn child, to God knows what cruel fate. Around him were the corpses of two international pop divas and Stu (you’re fabulous in your own right, hunnii xox). He had given up hope. Darenn staggered over to Andy’s cage, and unlocked it.

“Thank You, Darenn. The Brotherhood Shall Hear of Your Bravery.” Andy saluted Darenn, before walking away from the carnage.

“You’re welcome...” Darenn whispered as Andy walked away from him. He watched Andy leave, and checked out his ass, before turning back to Lauren. He walked towards her, and took the gun out of her mouth (Lauren loves a deepthroat ha). He felt the weight of it in his hands, and wiped it clean with the sleeve of his t-shirt. He wandered over to Andy’s cage and sat down inside it, closing the door of it behind him. He pointed the gun at his own head. Darenn closed his eyes, whispered a prayer and then uttered his last words.

“I’m sorry Shaun... name her MrGaryy, and let her grow up to be every bit as fabulous as we once were. I hope she grows up to be Garyy Faguilera, or GaGaGaryy, or Gary Port, but I just know she’s going to be a superstar. Tell her I love her, baby...” Darenn began to cry silently, before pulling the trigger.

End of Chapter 7

Twilight

03-04-2010, 02:54 AM

Lauren YOU BITCH

Shaun

03-04-2010, 03:01 AM

that was a heartbreaking read ah/

03-04-2010, 12:24 PM

Just Chapter 8 and the Epilogue to go!

Shaun

03-04-2010, 07:46 PM

sad/

Tom4784

03-04-2010, 09:10 PM

:sad:

I can't wait for the next part.

Smithy

03-04-2010, 09:18 PM

:O

No, not Darenn too!

Shaun

03-04-2010, 09:37 PM

so who's left?

Andy, me, Mark, Princess, James. Not many D:

04-04-2010, 06:01 PM

Chapter 8.1

James had been traipsing through an endless amount of bushes (haha lolz) and had finally gotten sick of looking for people. None of this was his fault. Mark was a psychopath. James and Kaz had just been forced to go along with his plan. He wasn't to blame for all of this. None of this. He was innocent. James began to fall into a spiral of self hatred; he wanted off this stupid island. He was risking his life because somebody else had messed up big time. He decided to head back the way he came, and then take the three idiots in the cages to the Towers and get away from here as quickly as he could. James realised he only vaguely knew which way he was going, he couldn't remember where exactly the cages were. He began to walk in what he thought was the right direction. James came across the slain bodies of Sam!, Niamhxo and Kaz. He didn't know how to react. His initial reaction was one of horror and shock at what he was seeing, but the overriding thought he had in his head was 'it could have been me'. James' body shuddered all over. He then realised that the three of them had been shot. The sense of horror came back to him once more; and his eyes began to follow a trail of blood that was heading in the direction he was walking. Their killer was heading towards the cages. James' initial thought was to run in the opposite direction, but he knew that he had to follow the blood trail for two reasons. One, the Towers were in that direction, and two, he had to at least try and save Andy, Twilight and Stu. James hurried as quietly as he could along the trail of blood, and finally reached the site of the three cages. He began to regret his previous actions. He saw the carnage, the blood everywhere, he saw Lauren's dead body and he couldn't even begin to process what had happened. He knew now that locking wasn't always the answer - people die when you lock threads, James. He ran to Twilight's cage: the pop diva was long dead. He ran to Stu's cage, and realised Stu was still alive, although only just. Stu weakly raised a hand and waved at James.

"Pretty wacky~ huh?" Stu tried to laugh, but started coughing up blood instead.

"Jesus Stu, I'm sorry, what happened here?" James asked the dying forum member.

"Lauren... she came in here all messed up in the head. Shot Twilight, shot me, and then Darenn appeared from nowhere and she shot herself." Stu mustered up all his strength to tell James what happened.

"So where's Darenn now? And what about Andy?" James looked frantic.

Stu pointed in the direction of Andy's cage. James' eyes followed Stu's finger, and he quickly darted away from Stu's cage and ran to Andy's.

"Darenn!" James flung the cage door open.

"Hey James..." Darenn smiled despite the tears rolling down his face. James noticed the gun lying next to Darenn, the magazine of the gun lying separately from the gun, completely empty.

"Darenn... did you try to...?" James touched Darenn's shoulder.

"I tried to shoot myself, yes. But it wouldn't let me die. And d'you know why?" Darenn began to laugh hysterically.

"Why...?" James was scared.

"Because since this story began, I became a moderator! The whole premise of this story was that the last man standing would become a moderator for their troubles, but now I'm a moderator - if I win, the story's moot, if I die, there's a massive plot hole, y'know? So there's got to be more than one winner now. Or at least, I have to make it off the island alive." Darenn laughed.

"...That's not right. Kaz got absolutely merked by Lauren earlier in the story." James burst Darenn's bubble. "Sorry dude, there just wasn't any ammo in the gun. Anyway, now that you're here, you can help me carry Stu back to TiBB Towers."

Darenn looked distinctly pissed off as he clambered out of the cage. James and Darenn carried Stu out of his cage.

"We need to make a stretcher." James said as he found a long, thick piece of wood (that's definitely a dick joke). "You go fetch that conveniently placed piece of canvas and I'll grab that other long, thick piece of peni- wood."

Darenn did as he was told, and then helped James tie the stretcher together.

"What about Andy?" Darenn asked, as they moved Stu onto the stretcher.

"What do you mean?" James lifted up his end of the stretcher.

"He's still out there. Alive. Alone. He doesn't know that this is all over. He said he was going to find the Brotherhood... but how can he do that if he's on here? Does he know how to get off?"

"Well, you could go show him how to get off," James smirked. "But seriously, we have to get back to TiBB Towers as soon as possible, they'll leave without us."

"But what about Andy? If we make it back in time, we can just tell them to wait for Andy."

"Let's get going." James hurried the story along.

The two moderators, with Stu on a stretcher, hurried through the forest, keeping near to the beach, and eventually the looming site of TiBB Towers came into view.

"We're nearly there!" Darenn exclaimed, smiling at Stu who was growing weaker by the sentence.

James and Darenn broke into a near jog, being careful not to drop Stu, and made it to the bridge.

At that exact moment in time, however, Andy appeared at the bridge, on a majestic, white horse. He was clad in armour and led a charge of several knights - The Brotherhood.

"Andy!" Darenn was pleased to see him. "You made it!"

"Quiet, Fool. You were going to Leave Me Here. The Brotherhood is Not best pleased."

"He's right, Darenn. We were going to leave him here for constantly making duplicate accounts." James nodded.

"But, but you said..." Darenn looked confused.

"I'm dying here, fancy getting me into the Towers?" Stu piped up.

"We will not Go down without a Fight!" Andy roared.

"Darenn, go get back up. NOW." James cracked his fingers, and electricity sparked from his knuckles.

Darenn sprinted towards the Towers, and burst through the front door. Naturally, he had to run up a gigantic flight of stairs, all the way to the top, before he found anyone. He fell through the doorway and landed on the floor.

"Darenn!" Shaun screamed with delight. Shaun got to her feet and ran over to her jilted lover. "You're alive baby! I'm so happy!"

"I don't have time for this; there's a battle going on outside between James and the Brotherhood, we need as many mods as we can to go help him. Stu's dying out there, we need to get off this island as fast as we can." Darenn barked orders. "I'll be back soon, baby." He smiled at Shaun, and then ran back down the stairs.

Mark, Princess, Darenn, Red Moon, Vicky and 30stone charged downstairs and burst out onto the bridge. The scene in front of them was truly shocking. David, Andyman, Nathan, Remy and Andy were circling James, who was fighting a losing battle. Red Moon and Vicky crashed forwards and broke up the circle. Vicky hit Nathan with a lock, but it failed, due to Nathan's height. Nathan punched Vicky, sending her flying backwards, but she smashed into David. David kicked a football at Red Moon, but he dodged it and it hit 30stone square in the face.

Ben had been holding back from fighting; he was caught between his sense of duty and his loyalty to his friends; but David's football made his mind up. He kicked the football back, hard, and knocked David out with his curling cross. Ben and Red Moon ran towards Stu, and darted back with Stu on his stretcher, into the Towers. With Stu safe and out of the way, all the moderators needed to do was get inside the Towers, barricade it and get everyone off the island: but the Brotherhood weren't going to give up so easily.

End of Chapter 8.1

I've split this into .1 and .2 because this one was getting really long, nearly done though!!

Smithy

04-04-2010, 06:11 PM

:laugh2:

Lmao Greg

:nono: at the BH

Shaun

04-04-2010, 06:14 PM

daren's alive! :love:

Jayson

04-04-2010, 08:32 PM

Good to see the Brotherhood riding into battle, valiant as ever.

04-04-2010, 09:02 PM

Chapter 8.2
Andy threw a post in all capital letters at Princess, who deftly deleted the post. He fired one of his many alternative accounts at her, which she deflected, but she deflected it towards Vicky who wasn’t expecting it. She took it in the face (dirty bitch) and fell to the ground once more, landing on top of an unconscious David. Remy charged towards Princess, but he became distracted by the vision of Sia, stepping out of TiBB Towers dressed in all white. Remy started running towards Sia, and lifted her up off her feet and hugged her tightly.

“Ma cherie!” He exclaimed, before being moved to the Admin board by Sia. Remy was suddenly on the top floor of TiBB Towers, and swore angrily as he realised he had been moderated. He was trapped inside the Towers and could no longer help his fellow Brotherhood brethren. Angry, he began to attack those on the top floor of the Towers – Shaun, Stu, Magic, Kizwiz, Rory, 30stone and Red Moon.

Sia hurried into the battle, and sent a low flying lock at Nathan’s legs. It was enough to trap his lower half behind bars; but he was still able to swipe at anyone who came close. She fired another lock at his top half, but Nathan batted the cage away with his fist; causing the cage to smash into Princess’ head. The blow was enough to send her careering off the side of the bridge, and into the sea. Sia howled with rage and charged at Nathan, launching herself at him at the last possible moment and knocked him over. She scrambled away from the angry giant, and fired a lock at his back, finally incapacitating him. Nathan tensed his shoulders and began to thrash around as much as he could, and was visibly weakening the bars of his cage. Sia knew she would have to take Nathan out once and for all. She strengthened the lock; and then began to move Nathan with her mod powers. Sia lifted Nathan, trapped in two cages, over the side of the bridge. She braced herself, she didn’t want to be a killer, but she had to do it.

“I’m sorry Nathan!” Sia cried, as she dropped him into the sea. He would sink and drown before he broke out of his cages. Sia sighed a sigh of relief, and turned around, ready to battle once more; but she too was sent over the edge by Andyman. Sia screamed as she fell into the water. She thrashed around in the water for a few moments, trying to gather her bearings, and then felt a powerful grip around her waist. She let out a scream underwater – wasting precious air – as she realised Nathan had a hold on her, and was going to cause her to drown. Sia tried to escape, but his grip was truly iron, and she closed her eyes and thought of Remy as she breathed her last.

Remy had gotten into a scrap with 30stone; the two hard men (no, not like that) of TiBB finally taking each other on in an inevitable showdown (it wasn’t really inevitable at all, but for the sake of this story with no real plotline, let’s say it is.) They brawled, smashing lots of stupidly placed items that can be smashed, in the process of their fight. Meanwhile, Red Moon and Rory huddled over Kizzy, Shaun, Stu and Magic.

“We have to help Ben get Remy out of here, or we’ll all die. If he even figures out how to get to the helipad, we’re screwed. There are two choppers up there. Each has room to take six people, but that includes a pilot and co-pilot. Only moderators know how to fly choppers, so we need four of us to make it off the island. There’s Mark, James, Princess, Darenn, Vicky and Sia outside; plus the seven of us up here... ****.” Roy cursed.

“Maybe we should just leave now and let them all fight over who’s leaving, I mean, there’s six of us here, two moderators included, maybe we should just bail out now while we still can?” Magic suggested, because he’s banned it means I can make him the token heartless bastard of the group with no backlash.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Shaun screeched in the tone that only a pissy pregnant woman can achieve. Weird, as he’s male. “I’m not leaving Darenn! Not again!”

“It’s not that bad a suggestion, Shu.” Rory tried to calm Shaun down. “I mean, they’ll be fine, they’re all moderators, they’re skilled at what they do and they knew the risks of accepting the job.”

“Why the hell aren’t you out there then, Rory?! Why is my Darenn out there!?” Shaun was crying.

“Hey look, a distraction!” Rory played that old chestnut, and Shaun fell for it beautifully. Rory began to run for the hidden doorway which led to the stairs to the helipad.

“Aw **** it.” Roy muttered. He grabbed Kizwiz by the hand and the two ran after Rory; followed quickly by Magic.

“Please Shaun... help me to the chopper...” Stu’s voice was very faint now. Shaun’s own worry about Darenn subsided; Stu’s life was very much in his hands.

“Alright, let’s go.” Shaun lifted Stu up onto his feet, and helped Stu towards the stairs. The two staggered up the steps, and were soon onto the helipad, where the chopper was ready for takeoff. Red Moon was piloting, Rory was the co-pilot, just so you can picture this scene really well. Good. Shaun helped Stu into the helicopter, and then stood beside it, staring hopefully at the door.

“Come on Shaun! Get in! We have to go now!” Rory yelled at his friend. “Darenn can handle himself no problem, get in!”

“I don’t want to leave him!” Shaun screamed.

“We have to go now Sun! We can’t wait for him!” Rory confused the story with the plot of LOST when they’re leaving the island on the helicopter, and Sun’s all like NO MY HUSBAND IS COMING RLY SOON YOU GUISE and they’re all like **** WOMAN and then it takes off and Jin appears and it’s all really sad because the freighter blows up and Sun’s like NOOOOOOOooOOoOoooooOOOOO... anyway, Shaun got into the helicopter. It took off, with no sign of Darenn bursting out of the stairwell.

Remy and Ben were still fighting as the group left the top room of the Towers; and Remy noticed them leaving. He tried to dash towards the stairs, but Ben dump tackled Remy, who hit his head against the table on his way down, knocking him out instantly. Ben lifted Remy up, and hurried as fast as he could down the stairs, back to the battle outside, Remy in tow.

James, Mark and Darenn were in a stand off against Andyman and Andy. In between the two groups, lay the unconscious bodies of Vicky and David. James eventually made the first move, charging at the two Andys but was knocked to the ground by the sheer fat content of Andyman’s new signature which he uploaded that second. Andy darted forward and grabbed James, holding him by the neck and took him hostage.

“Give Us another Moderator and We will Stop making Multiple Accounts.” Andy demanded.

“Never!” Mark shouted.

“Fine. We’ll play this your way.” Andyman shrugged nonchalantly. “Break his neck, Andy.” He motioned to James, who struggled fiercely. Andy complied.

“James! No!” Mark started to run forwards, but stopped himself. “You bastards! You won’t get away with this!”

Ben burst outside with Remy on his shoulders, and ran to Mark and Darenn’s side.

“Remy!” Andyman shouted, horrified. Mark glared at Andyman, then turned to Ben.

“Ben, kill Remy. They killed James.” Mark commanded.

“Sorry Mark, but I’m not going to.” Ben shrugged his shoulders, and he walked over to beside Andyman and Andy. He dumped Remy at their feet. “Everyone upstairs ran to the helipad. They’re probably long gone by now. We’ve got nothing to fight for now. I’m going back to the Brotherhood.”

Mark looked furious. Ben had clearly forgotten that Princess, Stu and Niamh had come to the island via a second helicopter that was still there. He knew there was no hope for him and Darenn to both make it to the helicopter; the Brotherhood would follow them and they wouldn’t stand a chance of flying away before they caught up with them. He knew that this was his fault; and the only way he could try and make up for it would be to cause a distraction to allow Darenn and Vicky to escape. But he needed Vicky to wake up first, and he needed to tell them his plan. He considered using the mod board, but Ben could read it and might tell the Brotherhood. He had to take a chance... Mark sent the message.

Darenn read the new thread in the mod board, and instantly was horrified. Mark couldn’t be serious. He turned to look at the admin of TiBB; cutting an imposing figure as he stared down the surviving members of the Brotherhood. He knew that all they were waiting for was Vicky to come around; but they had to hope she would manage to get away from the Brotherhood if she did wake up. Darenn and Mark edged closer to the unconscious bodies in the middle.

“Why don’t we fight this like men, Andyman? You and me, away from here, let Darenn and Vicky go.” Mark tried to reason with him.

“Oh, yeah sure.” Andyman smiled at him, and the two walked away from the others, into the forest.

“Oh.” Andy looked surprised.

“Yeah.” Darenn agreed. “I was kinda expecting them to get into an epic fight there. Can I take Vicky and head into the tower?”

“Y’know What, go for it. My beef was With Mark and James anyway. You let me go once before, so I’m Returning the Favour. See you in another Life, brother.” Andy ripped off Desmond from LOST.

Darenn picked Vicky up, and hobbled into the TiBB Towers, closing the door behind him. At least Mark’s plan was going to go ahead, even if it had unfolded in a weird way. He hurried up the stairs as fast as he could, eventually making it through the doors into the top floor of the Tower. He glanced out the window, and saw the tiny figure of Mark in the middle of a circle consisting of Andyman, Andy, 30stone, Remy and David (the latter of whom had recovered). Darenn wondered what Mark was saying to them, what his last words were going to be, but he knew he had no time for that. Darenn dragged Vicky up the stairs and made it to the helicopter. He buckled Vicky into the co-pilot’s seat, and he rushed round to the pilot’s seat. He started the engines, and said a prayer for Mark. He had never been a religious person, but he truly hoped that if there was an afterlife, Mark wouldn’t be treated too badly in it. The helicopter took off, and headed in the direction of somewhere better than here. Somewhere free.

End of Chapter 8

MeMyselfAndI

04-04-2010, 09:06 PM

can i be in it please

Smithy

04-04-2010, 09:11 PM

:O
Not Princess and Sia too, Greg kill off some BH members

And pmslmao at Vicky talking it in the face

Tom4784

04-04-2010, 09:28 PM

Rofl, great story Greg.

04-04-2010, 09:30 PM

Epilogue

Mark was now on his knees, in the middle of the Brotherhood circle. They were all bating furiously. Mark had to make the ultimate sacrifice: he was doomed to be the Brotherhood’s personal sex slave on an island in the middle of nowhere with no means of escape. He knew he deserved an eternity of hell, but he hadn’t realised it would be this bad. But the Brotherhood insisted that it wasn’t gay or anything, they were just doing their duty and punishing Mark for being a twit. Apparently.
Shaun, as he was the first member to make it off the island, returned to the real world (ILoveDC, this doesn’t concern you) and was, according to the terms of the game, given a mod position. Except all of the admins were either dead or incapacitated, so he couldn’t actually be granted his position. And the board soon became a target for spammers, multiple accounts and arguments with no real control over who said what. All of the regular members prior to Mark’s sick game began to pine for the days of overbearing moderating and ridiculous locks; because at least something got done back then – now it was all rubbish.
Stu survived his ordeal and returned to TiBB with a renewed sense of sarcasm. But, as a tribute to the fallen members of the moderating team, he led a charge of anti-swearing on TiBB, and due to the lack of control on the site, started to command a sizable group of keyboard terrorists who unofficially ran the site.
Magic was still banned. Gutted.
Red Moon, despite being something of a hero in the story, stayed away from the site; the troubles of real life getting him down. The same went for Kizwiz, who has a family to look after anyways.
Rory was the one to discover that Darenn and Vicky made it off the island; and soon reunited Darenn with Shaun. Shaun gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, who was named MrGaryy – Darenn’s dreams were realised. MrGaryy grew up to be absolutely fabulous and incredible fierce, I would not mess with her. Vicky was the godmother to MrGaryy, and in later life became MrGaryy’s manager when she went on to become Gary Faguilera – a burlesque dancer in a nightclub.
Gary Faguilera’s dance troupe consisted of Gary, Enid and Twilite Twitté; an older woman who reminded Gary’s parents of a child star they knew long ago... But she couldn’t possibly be the same person... Twilight Twitty died on the island, didn’t she? They always wondered, but she would never tell. xoxo Twilight Twitty's marketing team

Twilight Twitty: Resurrection out in stores on Monday!

The End.

Smithy

04-04-2010, 09:33 PM

*If there was a standing ovation smiley I'd use it*

Lmfao at the first two lines of the epilogue, it's the sort of thing you could actually imagine (not that you'd want too)

Tom4784

04-04-2010, 09:38 PM

Rofl brilliant ending Greg.

Shaun

04-04-2010, 09:41 PM

:'(

beautiful

Twilight

05-04-2010, 02:13 AM

OMG that was amazing <3 Zee your a really talented writer.

Shaun

21-12-2010, 07:22 PM