Please Help, Break up advice needed

[Tilly83]

Hi guys

I have not been on here in an age, but as I recall there are so many ppl on here that give good advice...

My problem is that I split up with my BF 2 wks ago(we had only been together 5 months), after not being able to see each other for 3wks prior to this due to problems I had at home and work. We started bickering and I felt like when i needed him most he wasnt there. I said some awful things to him and also flirted on facebook to get his attention, after an on/off week, we finally meet up and he told me he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while.

I am very confused as we both love each other, we planned to have a family (even spoke of kids names) and even decided to buy a house next year. He has said i am the one and that he would fight for our relationship.

I spoke to him last Wednesday and told him i love him and wanted to try work things out, told him he is the one etc...Yet got the same reply I love you but i need my space... I told him i would give him that that i would not text, email or speak to him until he was ready to talk to me, I got a sad smiley (as unfortunately this was on facebook chat) I have had to delete him from my facebook to stop myself talking to him. . So from last Wednesday I have not had any contact with him at all.

I have since been off work with a Viral infection, and as we work together he would know this, I have not had a tx or call from him to ask how I am.
I am confused as even though it was only a 5 month relationship I knew he was/is the one.

How can it go from planning out kids names, buying a house, and talks about marriage to not even talking.

I am 26 and he is 23, Im so confused... I want him back but know if i push him he will only be even more distant, If i flirt with someone else he will only think oh let them have each other.

Please help :bawling:

[Stephanie]

kill him and find someone else

[Tilly83]

Haha If only it was that simple.... I dont want anyone but him grrrr why did i let myself fall in love again

[Jords]

Print screen what you just wrote,
and show it to him :thumbs:

[Wildcat!]

Your best bet, is to leave him alone. If he really likes you, he will soon miss you if you are away, not if you keep pushing. Sometimes, you dont know what you have until its gone. If he really doenst like you, then its not meant to be. YOu will get over him. :)

[InOne]

Yeah if he wants you he wants you. Don't push it. Sounds like a hard time you're going through. Love is pain.

[Lauren]

Also sounds like things moved a bit too fast with you guys, in 5 months discussing kids names and buying houses together is rather speedy. Maybe he suddenly felt suffocated, despite the fact he loves you.

You can't force his committal... if he decides he does want a relationship with you then great but don't just hold out and wait for him, don't base all your happiness and decisions on his answer. Leave it a few weeks, if nothing makes progress then accept its over and move on. Next time try not to move as quickly, as right as it seems.

Hope you feel better soon :)

[Crimson Dynamo]

I think that if he has not asked you to marry him then what is the point of talking about houses and children.

When a 23 year old man says "he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while"

that is a code bullshit line.

Stop being needy, forget about him for a month and if after that month he has not called etc then get back out there. There are plenty of other blokes to fall in love with.

[atieah2009]

I think that if he has not asked you to marry him then what is the point of talking about houses and children.

When a 23 year old man says "he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while"

that is a code bullshit line.

Stop being needy, forget about him for a month and if after that month he has not called etc then get back out there. There are plenty of other blokes to fall in love with.

Amen.

[Niamh.]

I think that if he has not asked you to marry him then what is the point of talking about houses and children.

When a 23 year old man says "he needed space and that he needed to concentrate on himself for a while"

that is a code bullshit line.

Stop being needy, forget about him for a month and if after that month he has not called etc then get back out there. There are plenty of other blokes to fall in love with.

Altough this sounds cruel, It is, unfortunately most probably the truth. Don't chase after him, give him a couple more weeks and then move on. You WILL get over it.

[arsenalforever]

Altough this sounds cruel, It is, unfortunately most probably the truth. Don't chase after him, give him a couple more weeks and then move on. You WILL get over it.

sadly its life and things like this happen but you will get on with your life and find someone who cares for you cause if he's paying you no attention then it shows he doesn't care

[Tilly83]

Yeah I know, The thing is he initiated all these convosations. I think if he hadnt of said all that stuff I would be like oh well plenty more fish in the sea, At wedding we went to he actually said "one day will you marry me" He also wanted us to be best friends when we spilt. and he cried when he called it off. I get mixed messages from him and i guess i am clutching at straws. You guys are right I need to move on, when im well and back at work im just going to show him what he lost. Thank you for your advice

[arsenalforever]

Yeah I know, The thing is he initiated all these convosations. I think if he hadnt of said all that stuff I would be like oh well plenty more fish in the sea, At wedding we went to he actually said "one day will you marry me" He also wanted us to be best friends when we spilt. and he cried when he called it off. I get mixed messages from him and i guess i am clutching at straws. You guys are right I need to move on, when im well and back at work im just going to show him what he lost. Thank you for your advice

a lot of guys say things to keep their girls happy
stuff like geting married or having kids, which sometimes they don't mean.
you seem like a nice girl Tilly and hopefully you find a nice guy

[Tilly83]

I think I will just be a crazy cat lady. My ex was all a girl could ask for and I dumped him for Tom, Luckily for me Rob (my ex before Tom) is still my best friend and he says he still loves me. I think I need to be on my own for a while to work out what i really what and concentrate on my career too.

[arsenalforever]

I think I will just be a crazy cat lady. My ex was all a girl could ask for and I dumped him for Tom, Luckily for me Rob (my ex before Tom) is still my best friend and he says he still loves me. I think I need to be on my own for a while to work out what i really what and concentrate on my career too.

i think thats the best way Tilly. Just be by yourself and make yourself happy :)

[Tilly83]

[QUOTE=arsenalforever;2689196]

Aww the best advice always comes from the Irish, (I'm half Irish myself) Unfortunately I didnt get the strength they have :(

[Crimson Dynamo]

I think I will just be a crazy cat lady. My ex was all a girl could ask for and I dumped him for Tom, Luckily for me Rob (my ex before Tom) is still my best friend and he says he still loves me. I think I need to be on my own for a while to work out what i really what and concentrate on my career too.

i would never keep ex's as "friends". ex is ex and that is final.

[arsenalforever]

thats sweet of you Tilly :)

you have the strength don't give up
no guy is worth all the pain you go through

[Tilly83]

i would never keep ex's as "friends". ex is ex and that is final.


Some ex's I never speak to but he has been there for me no matter what it wasn't a bad break up we even went on holiday together lol

[Niamh.]

Some ex's I never speak to but he has been there for me no matter what it wasn't a bad break up we even went on holiday together lol

LeatherTrumpet is right though, best off to cut the ties with exes, more trouble than it's worth. It also interferes with new relationships big time!

[Tilly83]

thats sweet of you Tilly :)

you have the strength don't give up
no guy is worth all the pain you go through


Im sure I will be ok, just need to stay distracted lol

[Niamh.]

Im sure I will be ok, just need to stay distracted lol

Somebody who keeps you hanging on like that isn't worth it at all Tilly, trust me.

[Tilly83]

LeatherTrumpet is right though, best off to cut the ties with exes, more trouble than it's worth. It also interferes with new relationships big time!

Hmmmm I guess so... I think with Tom I have to be professional as i work with him, Rob new about Tom and has been there helping me thru this, I'm a stange girl :shocked:

[arsenalforever]

LeatherTrumpet is right though, best off to cut the ties with exes, more trouble than it's worth. It also interferes with new relationships big time!

yep thats true i never talk to ex's ever

[Tilly83]

yep thats true i never talk to ex's ever

Wow really! I like to stay friend if i can, TBH Rob is the only ex i still talk to, mainly because he knows everything about me and is always there to help me no matter what.

On the other hand some ex's i would quite happily walk past them in the street and not even look at them.

I guess we all deal with things differently, Right now I dont have to many friends I can rely on 100% so the ones I can trust I keep close

[arsenalforever]

Wow really! I like to stay friend if i can, TBH Rob is the only ex i still talk to, mainly because he knows everything about me and is always there to help me no matter what.

On the other hand some ex's i would quite happily walk past them in the street and not even look at them.

I guess we all deal with things differently, Right now I dont have to many friends I can rely on 100% so the ones I can trust I keep close

they remind me of the bad times and anyway i have no need to talk with them really.All you need is your friends and you be okay.

nice picture by the way :)

[Crimson Dynamo]

If i were you I would do some volunteer work. Ideal to focus the mind and stop self analysis. Try your local church.

[Tilly83]

If i were you I would do some volunteer work. Ideal to focus the mind and stop self analysis. Try your local church.

I really want to do the the Nepal Trek for help the heros, you have to raise nearly £3000 to do that tho. Im going to look into a few things to do, I think what with a very stressful month or so and now this virus, its making things feel worse.

I am also looking for a new job one that is fun and interesting, I really want to do a teaching course but money is short so will have to start saving

[InOne]

I really want to do the the Nepal Trek for help the heros, you have to raise nearly £3000 to do that tho. Im going to look into a few things to do, I think what with a very stressful month or so and now this virus, its making things feel worse.

I am also looking for a new job one that is fun and interesting, I really want to do a teaching course but money is short so will have to start saving

Do one of those courses that qualifies you to teach English in Africa, then just jet off!!! wooohooo

[Tilly83]

they remind me of the bad times and anyway i have no need to talk with them really.All you need is your friends and you be okay.

nice picture by the way :)


Yeah, they can do, I was with Rob for nearly 3yrs we never argued, unfortunately i fell out of love with him.

Thank you btw :)

[arsenalforever]

Yeah, they can do, I was with Rob for nearly 3yrs we never argued, unfortunately i fell out of love with him.

Thank you btw :)

your lucky so Tilly :) girls who fell out with me have no need for me but the same goes for me too for them

No probelm tilly :)

[Crimson Dynamo]

I often find all the answers I need at the bottom of a 4 finger glass of Teachers. I did last night

unfortunately I have forgotten them now.

[InOne]

You do like a drink don't you Leather lol

[Tilly83]

Lol You guys have made me feel better thank you so much :)

[arsenalforever]

You do like a drink don't you Leather lol

i think we're all drunks joe lol

no probelm Tilly we don't like seen anyone sad especially a pretty girl ;)

[Niamh.]

yep thats true i never talk to ex's ever

I have to talk to one of them cos he's my daughters dad but we're not "friends" Most of my other exes I'd be friendly with if I met them, I'm friends with one of them on facebook but we don't go out socializing together or anything. Don't think Gav would like that very much, I wouldn't either if it was the other way round!

[Crimson Dynamo]

You do like a drink don't you Leather lol

I dont normally drink on a tues. mon-weds is gym and drink free but i had an argument and all bets were off, as was the top of the Teachers.

[Tilly83]

I have to talk to one of them cos he's my daughters dad but we're not "friends" Most of my other exes I'd be friendly with if I met them, I'm friends with one of them on facebook but we don't go out socializing together or anything. Don't think Gav would like that very much, I wouldn't either if it was the other way round!

Yeah when I was with Tom i told him i was friends with Rob but i made every effort to make sure Tom knew he was the one I loved

[InOne]

I dont normally drink on a tues. mon-weds is gym and drink free but i had an argument and all bets were off, as was the top of the Teachers.

I had two bottles of wine, the Tuesday night blues!!!

[InOne]

And god exes, alot of trouble!!!! Well women in general are!!!

[arsenalforever]

I have to talk to one of them cos he's my daughters dad but we're not "friends" Most of my other exes I'd be friendly with if I met them, I'm friends with one of them on facebook but we don't go out socializing together or anything. Don't think Gav would like that very much, I wouldn't either if it was the other way round!

i can't stand to be around ex's cause i hate them all:joker:

[Niamh.]

i can't stand to be around ex's cause i hate them all:joker:

Ironically the only ex that I hate is the one I have to talk to :bawling:

[arsenalforever]

Ironically the only ex that I hate is the one I have to talk to :bawling:

which is understandable niamh
i always walk by them eevn when they say hello:joker:

[Niamh.]

which is understandable niamh
i always walk by them eevn when they say hello:joker:

I have to say all my exes apart from him are lovely fellas though!

[arsenalforever]

I have to say all my exes apart from him are lovely fellas though!

do you think thats a bitchy thing to do not say hello and walk by them?

for guys ex's are just trouble but for girls they are alright

[Niamh.]

do you think thats a bitchy thing to do not say hello and walk by them?

for guys ex's are just trouble but for girls they are alright

Depends on why or how messy the break-up was I suppose.

If I didn't have a child with my ex I'd probably walk right passed him on the street too!

[arsenalforever]

Depends on why or how messy the break-up was I suppose.

If I didn't have a child with my ex I'd probably walk right passed him on the street too!

i just hate them cause i get bored with girls if they don't interest me in a smart way

Niamh you really hate him don't you:hugesmile:

[Niamh.]

i just hate them cause i get bored with girls if they don't interest me in a smart way

Niamh you really hate him don't you:hugesmile:

Thats not really a reason to hate someone though, not for me anyway.

Yes, I do really hate that prick but he deserves my hatred

[arsenalforever]

Thats not really a reason to hate someone though, not for me anyway.

Yes, I do really hate that prick but he deserves my hatred

Niamh thank god your not with me i be afraid of you:joker:

[Tilly83]

haha I only hate Ex;s that have hurt me either by cheating or being a total n00b lol

[Niamh.]

haha I only hate Ex;s that have hurt me either by cheating or being a total n00b lol

Yeah, me too and that was only 1 ex!

[Niamh.]

Niamh thank god your not with me i be afraid of you:joker:

and well you should be haha

[arsenalforever]

haha I only hate Ex;s that have hurt me either by cheating or being a total n00b lol

ain't most men knobs:joker: even if they treat their ex's well they still get treated like the bed guy sadly :(

[Enid]

It really didn't help your cause flirting with other guys to make him jealous. That is a big nono and treading into dangerous territory. I don't suggest doing it again.

It's a good thing you removed him from Facebook though. These websites are the devil when you've just been through a break up.

[Niamh.]

ain't most men knobs:joker: even if they treat their ex's well they still get treated like the bed guy sadly :(

no actually I don't think that at all, like I said all my exes bar 1 were very nice guys!

[arsenalforever]

It really didn't help your cause flirting with other guys to make him jealous. That is a big nono and treading into dangerous territory. I don't suggest doing it again.

It's a good thing you removed him from Facebook though. These websites are the devil when you've just been through a break up.

hello enid:wavey:

flirting with other guys is one reason nightclubs are horrible places to go too
cause the girls with boyfriends who flirt with other guys leads to fights

[arsenalforever]

no actually I don't think that at all, like I said all my exes bar 1 were very nice guys!

no not you niamh ;)

just some girls in general :)
even if you were nice they still find something to hate

[Tilly83]

hello enid:wavey:

flirting with other guys is one reason nightclubs are horrible places to go too
cause the girls with boyfriends who flirt with other guys leads to fights

Yeah I realised that... ho hum thats one thing i wont do again im really tempted to text him but i know i shouldnt

[Niamh.]

no not you niamh ;)

just some girls in general :)
even if you were nice they still find something to hate

Like Gavins ex, what a cuunt, bitch, ***** bag, evil bitch from Hell!!!

[arsenalforever]

Yeah I realised that... ho hum thats one thing i wont do again im really tempted to text him but i know i shouldnt

don't tilly just come on here and talk to us if you are tempted this is a great place to keep your mind of him :)

[Niamh.]

ehem , sorry about that

[arsenalforever]

Like Gavins ex, what a cuunt, bitch, ***** bag, evil bitch from Hell!!!

yep you can't please some sadly

[Tilly83]

don't tilly just come on here and talk to us if you are tempted this is a great place to keep your mind of him :)

Yeah thank you hun, I really just wish he tx me to ask how i am being as im on sick leave and this is the 1st time iv been off sick,

When i get back to work im going to look good iv lost a stone in a wk cos of this bug im gonna get to the gym, make sure i look amazing and hopefully he will come crawling back (hopefully by then il be over him) for me to say sorry i need my space i need to concentrate on me lol:shocked:

[Niamh.]

Yeah thank you hun, I really just wish he tx me to ask how i am being as im on sick leave and this is the 1st time iv been off sick,

When i get back to work im going to look good iv lost a stone in a wk cos of this bug im gonna get to the gym, make sure i look amazing and hopefully he will come crawling back (hopefully by then il be over him) for me to say sorry i need my space i need to concentrate on me lol:shocked:

Yeah, that's what you need to do alright Tilly. You should just make up your mind that it's over and get into the Independant Woman frame of mind, I bet he'll be all over you then but you shouldn't take him back!!

[arsenalforever]

Yeah thank you hun, I really just wish he tx me to ask how i am being as im on sick leave and this is the 1st time iv been off sick,

When i get back to work im going to look good iv lost a stone in a wk cos of this bug im gonna get to the gym, make sure i look amazing and hopefully he will come crawling back (hopefully by then il be over him) for me to say sorry i need my space i need to concentrate on me lol:shocked:

you go girl :) just go out with your friends and find yourself a nice man

[Tilly83]

[QUOTE=arsenalforever;2689435]you go girl :) just go out with your friends and find yourself a nice man[/QUOTE

Nice men in Kent hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! sorry iv stopped laughing now.

[arsenalforever]

[QUOTE=arsenalforever;2689435]you go girl :) just go out with your friends and find yourself a nice man[/QUOTE

Nice men in Kent hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! sorry iv stopped laughing now.

all chavs are they?:joker:

there might be one out there for you,tilly or wait for BB11 you might get yourself a marcus:joker:

[Niamh.]

[QUOTE=arsenalforever;2689435]you go girl :) just go out with your friends and find yourself a nice man[/QUOTE

Nice men in Kent hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! sorry iv stopped laughing now.

hehe, You have to be happy on your own and then love will find you!!

[Niamh.]

[QUOTE=Tilly83;2689442]

all chavs are they?:joker:

there might be one out there for you,tilly or wait for BB11 you might get yourself a marcus:joker:

eeeeewwwwww, Marcus??!!!

[arsenalforever]

[QUOTE=arsenalforever;2689447]

eeeeewwwwww, Marcus??!!!

those mutton chops niamh don't drive you wild ;)

[Tilly83]

Yuck i need to throw up again now :(

I need to work out what i want before i can have anyone in my life right now i guess lol. I have a few close friends that are there for me, and it means my girly holiday next yr will be so much fun haha

[arsenalforever]

Yuck i need to throw up again now :(

I need to work out what i want before i can have anyone in my life right now i guess lol. I have a few close friends that are there for me, and it means my girly holiday next yr will be so much fun haha

go on a rampage of Drugs,sun,drink,beaches,sex that sounds god:hugesmile:

[Niamh.]

[QUOTE=Niamhxo;2689451]

those mutton chops niamh don't drive you wild ;)

Hugh jackmans maybe not Marcus' lol

[arsenalforever]

[QUOTE=arsenalforever;2689456]

Hugh jackmans maybe not Marcus' lol

i loved how deluded he was thinking he could get any woman he wanted:joker:

[Tilly83]

go on a rampage of Drugs,sun,drink,beaches,sex that sounds god:hugesmile:

sun, cocktails and men mmmm im not one to sleep around but kissing and flirt hell yeah hahaha :dance:

[arsenalforever]

sun, cocktails and men mmmm im not one to sleep around but kissing and flirt hell yeah hahaha :dance:

sounds good apart from kissing men:joker:

[WOMBAI]

Yeah I know, The thing is he initiated all these convosations. I think if he hadnt of said all that stuff I would be like oh well plenty more fish in the sea, At wedding we went to he actually said "one day will you marry me" He also wanted us to be best friends when we spilt. and he cried when he called it off. I get mixed messages from him and i guess i am clutching at straws. You guys are right I need to move on, when im well and back at work im just going to show him what he lost. Thank you for your advice

Some guys love playing games like that - you are better off without him. You are young, free and single - enjoy it while you can. In a few months - you probably wonder what you ever saw in him. Go girl.

[Tilly83]

Some guys love playing games like that - you are better off without him. You are young, free and single - enjoy it while you can. In a few months - you probably wonder what you ever saw in him. Go girl.

Thank you babes, im sure i will be ok just been a really had month for me, now i need to get out and let my hair down :dance:

[Crimson Dynamo]

wait till you see his new girlfriend however..

what a corker!

[Niamh.]

wait till you see his new girlfriend however..

what a corker!

Don't be so mean LT!!

[Crimson Dynamo]

Don't be so mean LT!!

:hugesmile:


at least I did not say that he met her 3 months ago..

[Niamh.]

:hugesmile:


at least I did not say that he met her 3 months ago..

:nono: