Celebrity Big Brother : Total Destruction

[Stu]

...Being famous can be hell...
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/Destruction-Eye.jpg
...Especially when your averaging a 0.4 rating...

[Patrick]

Theres no star in the eye =/

[Stu]

Theres no star in the eye =/
There's a reason for that, starman. All will be revealed.

[Patrick]

Okay cool :)

So is this a series your starting or a story or somthing?
It sounds good

[Stu]

Okay cool :)

So is this a series your starting or a story or somthing?
It sounds good
Sort of a story/series I developed in the last twenty minuets, yeah. I will be making it up as I go along. I was starting something similar a few years ago but I forgot about it. This one, however, has *kind of* a pre planned element.

It will be my take on the final series of Celebrity Big Brother, the network that's trying to destroy it from the inside, and a messianic prophecy. Expect introspective philosophical narrative, thought provoking Reality TV concepts, and a couple of dick jokes.

[LemonJam]

...Being famous can be hell...
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/Eye.jpg
...Especially when your averaging a 0.4 rating...


hahahaha win.

[Stu]

I shall be starting a series of build up, prequel type stuff shortly. The series proper won't start for another week or two. It will be done more or less in real time so yes, Celebrity Big Brother got bumped down to an early December start on the schedules to make room for Channel 4's fresh, exciting new content in January.

I hope to have at least something up every night. The idea is to bugger the entire show up the bum and see how many viewers it can loose, bankrupting the production company and network in the process.

Because there won't be any Z Lister's on this show. Oh no.

[MrGaryy]

maybe should be in the Creative Writing section? Looking forward to it by the way.

[Stu]

maybe should be in the Creative Writing section? Looking forward to it by the way.
We have a creative writing section? Damn! Stu's going blind. Can a mod please move this?

Thanks, BTW.

[Harry!]

Send a U2U to any Mod online to ask if you can change its location.

[30stone]

Sorted :thumbs:

Looks good by the way.

[Stu]

Cheers lads.

[Iceman]

sounds intriguing stu!

[Shaun]

should be an interesting read.

i love how all tibb creative writing lately is horror-related. says a lot about us I guess. we have serial killings from Amanda, kidnap from me, survival of the fittest from Greg, zombies from Dezzy and now...this.

[Beastie]

Leave it in this section!

[Tom4784]

Ah I can't wait, should be a great read!

[Scarlett.]

sounds cool ;3

[Jords]

Sounds like it'll be good :tongue:

[Stu]

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/DailyStarLogo.gif

GIRLS ALOUD BABE HARDING FOR CBB FINALE?
by Merry Hackenslash

Well, it's almost that time again for Celebrity Big Brother and the rumor mill has officialy started. Our man on the inside can exclusively reveal that producers Endemol are in talks to bring blonde bombshell Sarah Harding to the show for it's final series this fall.

VAGINA

''Sarah will be perfect for the show'' an insider revealed to our man on the inside. ''She is just the type of character we are looking for and will get viewers back in droves for this historic final series of Britain's best loved celebrity Reality TV event.''

VOMIT

The Girls Aloud star is said to have run into some trouble recently as a string of drunk driving lawsuits piled up. She is said to be showing up on the sets of movies visibly intoxicated. A stint in the Elstree house would no doubt pay off many of her outstanding bills.

BLURGH

When our man on the inside tried to contact Sarah, she denied any involvement with series producers Endemol or failing network Channel 4. However she did ask if our man on the inside could make a quick run to the shop for a packet of Silk Cut, before proclaiming that he was her bestest friend in the whole world.



http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/SarahHarding.jpg
-Sarah at a recent autograph signing in Santa Barbara.
.

[Stu]

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/Channel4Towers.jpg

FRIDAY, 27TH NOVEMBER, 2009
CHANNEL 4 HEADQUATERS
SOMEWHERE IN ENGLAND I CAN'T BE BOTHERED GOOGLING
2200 HOURS



? : Are we all satisfied?

Executive : Satisfied with what?

? : Satisfied with the deal!

Executive : Yes, yes.

? : So you will sell your shares?

Executive : Of course.

? : What do you mean of course, is Channel 4 even a public company?

Executive : I'm not sure, but for the sake of the narrative, let's assume it is. Does the pope **** in the woods?

? : What?

Executive : Nothing.

? : And the creative control?

Executive : All yours, of course.

? : Then you may have your money. Me? I'm driven by more things than money.

Executive : Such as?

? : Down on your knees.

Executive : Now? Here?

? : I don't see the complications that you do, obviously. I called a meeting between the network executive and my humble self for no apparent reason on a weekend night at ten.

Executive : I see. Well, let me use the bathroom first.

? : As you wish. Just one more thing...

Executive : Yes?

? : From now on, you are my minion, and so are your co-workers.

Minion : Understood. Just hand me the money.

? : Come here, you tiger. Channel Four is mine now.

Minion : Just before we start, uh...

? : ...first time?

Minion : Not at all!

? : Not at all?

Minion : No, it's just, you know, your creative commitments start with Celebrity Big Brother, in January.

? : Celebrity Big Brother? Whats that then?



*SCENE FADES OUT, SCENES OF FORBIDDEN LUST OCCUR AS HIGH UP IN CHANNEL FOUR TOWERS, A WINDOW GETS QUIET FOGGY.*

[MrGaryy]

umfg.

[Tom4784]

Rofl.

[Harry!]

lol

[LemonJam]

Lol

[Stu]

Lol
umfg.
Rofl.
lol

The verdict is in! The critics have spoken!

More on the way soon guys, as long as there is interest. I will also be using suggested task and show ideas in the story, to get the community involved and schitz, yo'.

[Amanda.]

:laugh3:

I've always liked how the C4 building has looked lolz.

[Shaun]

oh my.

[Stu]

I can't wait to get onto the actual Celebrity Big Brother next week. There's only so much humor I can extract out of this prequel stuff. Anyway, that was just an opener.

[Stu]

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/DailyStarLogo.gif

CHANNEL 4 UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT?
by Gaston Chuckleshiseyes

There was panic last night at Channel 4 Towers as a takeover was in full effect. Our man inside witnessed - amongst other things - employees leaving in droves as the failing network struggled to cope with losses by selling creative control of all television broadcasts on to a mystery third party.

TITS

Employees stopped short of throwing themselves out four to five story heights as it became apparent that they had each been payed off a huge lump sum in return for surrendering the companies creative integrity to the aforementioned mystery party. Our man on the inside was party to scenes of gracious sex as employees celebrated a new found fortune.

APOCALYPSE

However calls were being made last night by various television regulation bodies that the network be taken off air due to the uncertainty surrounding the creative future of the channel. Our man on the inside was able to speak to Channel 4's new head honcho via phone linkup.

CATS

''Well it's simple, really, we have our loyal viewers best interests at heart. See my feline companion Geraldo, here? Geraldo knows this. He purs with excitement at the future we and our viewers may share together. This new creative vision will start with Celebrity Big Brother which is to air it's final series soon. We have some big, big plans in store and you don't want to miss it.''

''This channel has needed a kick up the sensitive bits for a long time now and me and Geraldo here, here Geraldo, here my sweet munchkin, we have the nations satisfaction at heart each and every night. Each and every night. Stay tuned, it's going to be quiet the event, I can assure you.''

''Would you like a line of Cocaine, Geraldo?''

CONTROVERSY

What does the future hold, so, for Channel 4? When our man on the inside asked this of Channel 4's new boss man a second time, he paused only to let out a haughty chuckle, and mentioned something about a minion popping in to serve refreshments of another kind, before hanging up with great haste.
.

[Shaun]

*tears cock off with anticipation*

[Stu]

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/Channel4Towers.jpg

MONDAY, 30TH NOVEMBER, 2009
CHANNEL 4 HEADQUARTERS
BOARDROOM OF LUST
1800 HOURS



*The last of the suits arrive at the boardroom. The present minions quickly exchange their bondage gear for these suits and take seats at the giant marbel table that dominates the room. At the top, Channel 4's new head honcho. A vacant seat is left at the bottom.



Minion Dan : You got the time?

Minion Milky Bar Kid : 1800 hours, my friend.

Minion Dan : Why do you have to call it out like that?

Minion Milky Bar Kid : 'Coz I'm strong and tough.



*Geraldo stalks up from nowhere, swaggers across the table, and rests on the laps of Channel 4's new head honcho. I'm not sure how cat's can swagger, but if you can picture a dozen or so corporate lackeys in bondage gear, this should be a doozey.*



? : So is everybody here?

Minion Farhad : Almost everybody. The late guy is late again.

? : Don't I know you from somewhere?

Minion Farhad : No?

? : What's your surname?

Minion Farhad : Gr ... Graham?

? : I WILL HAVE NO CAMEOS IN THIS BOARDROOM!

Minion Charlie Sheen : Your breaking the fourth wall again, boss. Stick within the narrative.

? : Fair enough. Welcome to Channel 4, kid. Right. Now you know why I have called you all here.



*A video screen descends from the ceiling and a movie promptly flashes up on screen. This movie is a video package showing Big Brother's illustrious ten year history. It's narrated by that ruddy E4 voiceover guy. You know the one.*



? : Right, minions, this is our next big creative project. That being, or this being, Celebrity Big Brother 2010. Only it's not Celebrity Big Brother 2010.

Minion Inqui Izitive : It's not?

? : No, because it starts this Thursday.



*Gasps all around. Geraldo raises his head and takes offense to this. This is done through a complex sequence of whisker perking, nose sniffing, and other stuff along those lines.*



? : Yes, Thursday. This is a scheduling matter to make way for Channel 4's Fresh Exciting New Content this January. There will be no debate on the matter.

Minion Inqui Izitive : Content such as ... ?






''I can't do this all on my own, oh no, I'm no superman!''






http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/scrubs-logo.jpg






''I'll be there for you!''






http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/friends-logo.jpg





[Generic atmospheric music]




http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/kingofthering/catdog_01.jpg






? : Any questions?

Minion Inqui Izitive : Wh -

? : Not from you. Anymore questions? Good. Vinnie Jones is the new series producer. He will be arriving tomorrow to sort you slags out. MEETING OVER!

Minion The Late Guy : Ph, ph, phew! Sorry I'm late, guys!




*scene fades out*

[Tom4784]

More friends is the cure to everything! :laugh:

I love it.

[Stu]

Cheers. More pointless cameos to come. Wasting time until Thursday :tongue:.

EDIT : New eye, with added star goodness.

[Z]

I'm enjoying this very much, can't wait for it to really get going!! I like it so far :D

[Shaun]

wtf stu. wtf man. what happened.