How to Solve A Problem Like Arista [Press Conference! Arista speaks!]

[Shaun]

http://i.imgur.com/Vp4TW4X.jpg
[logo courtesy of Matt <3]

THOUSANDS WILL APPLY.

ONLY ONE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL.

WHO...WILL BE THE NEXT VOICE OF ARISTA?

You've demanded a new game and in the absence of existing vocal ones due to forum inactivity from the owners, I've gone and come up with this. There'll be logos and proper plans soon - but I'm creating this thread to drum up interest.

What's the premise? A few brave TiBB members will be 'contestants' - submitting songs [sung by them-very-selves] according to preset themes and with the help of some judges. The rest of the forum shall then vote to save the best entries, until, one lucky contestant wins and will become the new voice of the aristabot [and win a special little award prize thing as a qt extra]

So what do I need from you? Interest. I need a good few contestants - at least 6 to make this have any form of longevity. You can be taking the piss if you like, make your voice sound ridiculous as possible; this isn't necessarily a hunt for the TiBBer with the best voice [though, maybe that'll be a novelty that gets you votes].

So if you're interested in being a contestant, judge or backstage sucky-sucky giver, hot me up. That is to say, private message me.

[thanks to MrGaryy for coming up with the name]

[Amanda.]

PMSL. :laugh2:

I would totally apply but my webcam and camcorder are both busted. :(

[GypsyGoth]

PMSL. :laugh2:

I would totally apply but my webcam and camcorder are both busted. :(

Was it your singing that busted them? :bigsmile:

[Jords]

Was it your singing that busted them? :bigsmile:

Cheeky :joker:

[Amanda.]

Was it your singing that busted them? :bigsmile:

If you MUST know, they were busted when my parents were recording their own sex tape, I believe.

[GypsyGoth]

If you MUST know, they were busted when my parents were recording their own sex tape, I believe.

:laugh2:

[Shaun]

bump.

[Stu]

Oh I am so in. Put me in the hat.

[Tom]

As owner of Arista Appreciation Society, I have to be a judge :dazzler:

[Stu]

As long as there is sufficient time to record a song. I don't want to do it at evenings when people are in the house, so I'll have to record in the mornings.

What would they think :joker:.

[Lewis.]

pm'ed you ;D

[CaraRawr]

pmed you.

[LemonJam]

Appliedddd.

[Harry!]

Sing of the times :wink:

Looks cool.

[LemonJam]

Sing of the times :wink:


Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[MrGaryy]

I actually quite want to do this LOL.

I CAN BREAK IT DOWN LIKE A MOFO.
http://i26.tinypic.com/2u4pyq8.jpg

[Tom4784]

I've applied.

[Stu]

Sing of the times :wink:

Looks cool.
:joker::joker::joker:

That should be the show tagline, right there.

I also think it would be a great idea if we had to write our own song about Arista one week, instead of doing a cover!

[Tom4784]

bumpage.

[Novo]

Great idea.

[Harry!]

:joker::joker::joker:

That should be the show tagline, right there.



Yep my addition to the game lol.

[Shaun]

thank you for the support, y'all.

[Stu]

Y'all? Y'all? Well good golly, I gotta get me some Kentucky fried chicken and don a straw hat if we taking the scenic route!

You in the south now boay!

[Shaun]

there will be a Southern US accent week, Stu, prepare yourself.

[Stu]

I'll fetch the Mississippi Burning DVD. Ye-haw!

[Shaun]

http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/6474/htsaplarista.png

thank you Matt for the FIT logo.

[Tom4784]

there will be a Southern US accent week, Stu, prepare yourself.

*grabs Banjo*

YEEHAW! Francine Mary Sue we're eatin' tonight!

[Matt]

You're welcome Shaun ;)

This will be TiBB's best singing competition evarrrr.

[Stu]

I like how the word 'Arista' is suitably steel, mechanical and heartless. Just like the man himself.

[Matt]

I like how the word 'Arista' is suitably steel, mechanical and heartless. Just like the man himself.

I wouldn't have it any other way. <3

[Ross]

:shocked: love logo.

[GypsyGoth]

:love:

[Tom4784]

:joker::joker::joker:
I also think it would be a great idea if we had to write our own song about Arista one week, instead of doing a cover!

Instead of a winner's song the last week should be this.

[Amanda.]

I orgasmed when I saw the logo. It reminds me of I love money.

[Arneldo]

I almost spat out my tea when I saw this. omfg.

[CaraRawr]

hot logo <3

[Lewis.]

Love the logo ;)

[Tom4784]

Giving this a nice healthy bump...

[Shaun]

keep applying folks. or showing interest, rather.

[Billy]

Let me do it.

[Shaun]

do wut Billy, sing? omg please.

[Tom4784]

bumpage!

[Billy]

do wut Billy, sing? omg please.

it all, i just want fame!!

[Shaun]

lmfao. oh i've missed you.

I've had a fair few applicants now - I'll be revealing more soon ;)

[Stu]

****. This thread has reminded me that I will actually need to get up off the couch and purchase a mic.

[Lewis.]

Looking forward to this :)

[Shaun]

Dw Stu - it won't begin until after Christmas :p

[Stu]

No worries. I was going to get one anyway to feed into the synth I'm getting. I could just use it to vocode the **** out of my voice and get the perfect, dystopian Arista robot voice but that would be just cheap.

No, this baby is going to sing.

[Shaun]

Nearly forgot this. Shall announce proper plans soon.

[arista]

Great idea.


Yes Shaun is a Star.



But you Andy
who said Gavin Vs Arista
are not doing that well.
Since Gavin who is The President poster is banned.

[Shaun]

before this press conference starts, a guide to who's who. The man sat on the left of the picture is arista. He is a key role in behind the scenes management and creative design. The girl stood behind him is Su, she's his current partner. The man sat beside him is Shaun Collins, Producer of How to Solve a Problem Like Arista. Sat beside him is Twilight Twitty's agent, and entrepreneur, Ken Dodd, from TiBB Talent agencies. Sat on the right is Kim Jong-Il.

http://www.conceptualevent.com/PressConference2.jpg

Kim: We'll take your questions now, dissidents.

REPORTER #1 SIR. What can we expect from this competition?

Shaun: We're hoping to unveil some hidden talents on ThisIsBigBrother.com. Arista here, [arista nods, solemnly], is one of the domain's most-loved members and unfortunately his vocal chords were shredded in the 90s thanks to New Labour Britain. We are seeking to give him a new voice; one which conveys emotion, passion and all of the gravitas that his written language packs.

African-American Reporter: ARE THERE ANY NAKED CHICKS?

Ken: No.

African-American Reporter, Anonymous Perverts #2 and #5 and Sticks leave.

REPORTER #2 Who will be appearing on the series?

Ken: The series will feature a number of surprising special performances. Twilight Twitty is doing us a massive favour and has, fantastically, offered to mentor the contestants one week. We are also in talks to get Schindler's Fist to perform on the opening show.

REPORTER #1: What is the format?

Shaun: The format heavily borrows from existing talent-search shows, such as The X Factor. I, and 3 other judges, shall watch as a number of acts perform, and the two with the lowest votes will have to face us + perhaps a deadlock. However, we will not be mentors to the contestants. As judges, we wish to be totally impartial.

Hysterical Fanatic: ARISTA! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

Arista: No. This is Not a Meet and
Greet. Please leave Now.

REPORTER #3: How do contestants apply?

Shaun: We're still looking for contestants and judges to apply. We've had a lot of interest from arista's colleagues and associates, and the man himself, [arista nods solemnly], and we're going to let that fester for a bit.

Kim: THAT WILL BE THE END OF QUESTIONING. LEAVE.

[Kim Jong-Il's guards raise their rifles...]

[\PJ/]

rofl!!!

[LemonJam]

roflmfao.

[Vicky.]

LOL.

But I dont have a mic :(

[Jayson]

LOL, this sounds good.

[Tom4784]

Oh I can't wait, with Kim Jhong Il on board what can go wrong? :laugh:

[Iceman]

Ah this is hilarious.....poor hysterical fan

[Firewire]

lmao

[Shaun]

Requirements of Contestants:
- The ability to take oneself not seriously
- A contestant photo - preferably as absurdly melodramtic as possible. Think 'X Factor pout' with a TiBB twist.
- A sample voice clip - saying the following:

"Hi, my name is _______, and it is my dream to solve a problem like Arista. Sign of the Times."

- Commitment.

Judges requirements:
- Impartiality
- A good sense of humour. We don't want you to be totally harsh to the contestants, as this is all tongue in cheek, but a few bitchy remarks and catfights are allowed.
- Reliability - be on for the Live shows. Detrimental.

[MarkWaldorf]

Lol

[Shaun]

Ah this is hilarious.....poor hysterical fan

It's fine, she was a troll account of Gavin's anyway.

[Stu]

I'm still so up for this.

[Jords]

Im too embarresed [and rubbish] at singing to do this, but good luck those applying!

[Jessica.]

Can I be a judge? I don't mind being the one that everyone hates!

[Tom4784]

I'm still up for it but the idea of a picture is making me nervous, I don't mind making a fool of myself on here since it can't be linked back to me if someone from real life sees it :laugh:

[Shaun]

....how did I not see this through :o

[Z]

This should have happened :(

[Shaun]

it genuinely upsets me that this never happened

[Kate!]

:laugh2: never saw this before.

[billy123]

....how did I not see this through :o
Very disappointed in you if im honest not only did you let us all down you let Arista down. http://images.paraorkut.com/img/emoticons/images/d/disappointed-488.gif

http://i677.photobucket.com/albums/vv138/djangoman2k/Forum%20Responses/naboo.gif

[T*]

reboot pls

[Calderyon]

Axed before the first episode, cause the Simon Cowell threatened to sue.

[Shaun]

it's true :(

[Ammi]

...awwww this would have been so good, so sad it was axed/TV producers have no imagination or taste...