My girlfriend...

[Captain.Remy]

"My girlfriend is a porn star.

She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out."

I love Sickipedia. It's the future. :laugh::hugesmile:

[Jack_]

Sickipedia is my life :love:

[Captain.Remy]

My current fave:

"No Youporn I do not want to play poker, I'm at work."

[Z]

I love Sickipedia. I went off it when I told some of my friends about it and then they all went overkill with it, kind of ruined it for me, but they've stopped going on about it so I use it more now.

"I remember the first time my parents caught me masturbating. I was so startled I nearly dropped their wedding photo." muahahahah.

[Captain.Remy]

Some of the MJ jokes are nasty tho lmao You just can't help laughing.

[Jack_]

what is 12" long and makes a woman moan all night?

Cot death.

i'm josef fritzl and no windows was my idea.

i'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels.
I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, i'm going to **** the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, i'll take a **** on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.

Let's see crimewatch ****ing stage a reconstruction of that.

:joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker:

[Patrick]

^^
Lmfao

I havent been on this, or heard of it..but is it like a Joke Site?

[Tom]

One on the first page

Joe McElderry:
"I'm straight - and I don't fancy Cheryl!"

So you're gay then?

[Stephanie]

pmsl

[Smithy]

lmao
i remeber hearing about this from some woman who i worked with in an office and shes like 38, i was thinking how do u know about this and i didnt???!?!?!?!!?!

[Ross]

What's Susan Boyle and me got in common?

We both look **** dressed as a woman.

[Stephanie]

So Joe McElderry has admitted that he is a virgin.

It could have all been so different if Louis Walsh had been his mentor.

[Jack_]

I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."

Unbelievable what some people are into.

Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.

Please give just a small donation of £2 and we will send you the video; it's ****ing hilarious!

Disabled toilets.

Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.*

*No offence intended.

[Stephanie]

LMAO JACK!

:joker:

[Stephanie]

Day 1 in heaven and Jade Goody is already up for eviction.

[CaraRawr]

one on the first page

joe mcelderry:
"i'm straight - and i don't fancy cheryl!"

so you're gay then?

don't bring my bb joe into this. </3

[Stephanie]

Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.

[Tom]

Day 1 in heaven and Jade Goody is already up for eviction.

:laugh2:

[Ross]

Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased. :joker:

[Stephanie]

Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased. :joker:
i don't get it LOL.

EDIT: OH PMSL I GET IT NOW/

[Jack_]

Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.

:joker: :joker:

[Jords]

Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased. :joker:

Hahaha! That is great :laugh:

[Smithy]

Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased. :joker:

it doesnt really work for me :(
even though i get the joke

[Stephanie]

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".
So he stabs her & nicks her purse.

[Jack_]

Jade Goody wanted to be cremated, so that at her funeral everybody could take home a Goody bag.

Apparently you can get swine flu by ****ing an infected pig.

Jack Tweed must be ******** himself.

:joker:

[Smithy]

Day 1 in heaven and Jade Goody is already up for eviction.

:joker:

Did you hear Jade Goodys been booked for another TV appearance

shes appearing on most haunted next week

[Tom]

Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased. :joker:

Try saying beer can without sounding like a Jamaican :joker:

[Ross]

Try saying beer can without sounding like a Jamaican :joker:

:joker:

[Jack_]

To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:

South-east England born and raised
On reality TV spending most of my days
Bein' racist, whoring out and relaxin' all cool
And being disgusting, **** the gene pool
When a couple of cells
Who were up to no good
Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood
I got one little lump and my doctors got scared
They said 'we are putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!'

You've got to hand it to brave Jade Goody and fiance Jack who were out shopping for a wedding dress yesterday.

They do a ****ing hilarious impersonation of Andy and Lou from Little Britain.

Apparently a lot of female waxing salons are going out of business. Its nothing to do with the credit crunch. Its all Jade Goody's fault.
Women are starting to realise how ugly a bald **** looks!

The Page 3 girl in the Sun this morning was ****, she was fat and bald.

:joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker:

[Jack_]

:wavey:

Can we merge if possible?

[King Gizzard]

There is so much bumping going on you would think we're in a maternity ward