alc09
05-09-2010, 03:57 PM
Everything written here is spot on, do any of you lot disagree?
Bye-bye BB as it sinks to new low
DISTRESSING scenes at ULTIMATE BIG BROTHER on Friday night, where the despicable booing of Nadia by the rent-a-moron crowd ultimately confirmed why this show has to go.
And where Davina McCall's worrying transformation into a bitchy 13-year-old girl proved it's probably best for her career that it is going.
Yet, amazingly, these were not the most disturbing visions on the night. For there on that screen was every bridegroom's nightmare: A wedding veil being lifted to reveal Vanessa Feltz's beaming orange face.
A hell of a fright. And even the kindest, most generously-spirited soul would have been hard pushed not to yell, "Blimey, it's Princess Fiona from Shrek!"
Of course, scary as it was, it wasn't that much of a surprise for the housemates. I mean, given the contours of that wedding dress it was either going to be The Feltz, Tina Malone or Gos from BB4.
But Vanessa's arrival means we now find ourselves in the strange position of hoping an over-exposed rentagob can somehow prevent this legendary show ending up as the almightiest of damp squibs this Friday.
Otherwise, history will not be kind to UBB. A show which, as a casual viewing spectacle, started tanking the minute they allowed John McCririck to be evicted after just three days.
Which was badly listing when the "normal" winner Josie decided being in a house full of BB ghosts was too weird for her.
And which finally ran aground last Friday when the promised two new housemates turned out not to be Shilpa Shetty and Jo O'Meara.
In truth, it was probably a non-starter from the off. But even I was surprised at how quickly UBB was encapsulated by both "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "familiarity breeds contempt."
Cos while on Night One I was like "ah, Brian Dowling", by Day Two I was like "ah, feck off Brian Dowling!"
Sweaty
Rabid, easily-pleased BB fans will violently disagree, but for me this farewell show is a bit like Masters Football.
I don't want to watch a sweaty, purple-faced Norman Whiteside lugging his belly round a five-a-side pitch in Rotherham. I'd prefer to remember him curling in an FA Cup Final winner from the edge of the box at Wembley.
Likewise I don't want to see the likes of Nadia, Nick Bateman and Victor Ebuwa reliving moments in time. Because that's all they were, kids - moments in time.
Anyone who's watched the show over the past ten years will know that pointing out Endemol are a bit self-indulgent is like saying Adrian Chiles likes a moan.
But this is what UBB has turned into. The Endemol lot licking themselves in a mirror.
Nothing wrong with that of course. They've had much to be proud of over the years. But nobody wants to watch them doing it on telly for two and half weeks. Truth is, C4 would have been better off sacking the normal show this summer and giving us a belting six- week celebrity version instead.
That would've been a much more fitting send-off. And it's certainly the only way I can see BB surviving if it does end up on Channel 5.
But that's for the future. For now, I'm going to forget that watching this show became a chore somewhere between Series 5 and 6, when it started pandering to the worst extremes of teenage hormones and the housemate numbers started creeping up.
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/columnists/ianhyland/942196/Ian-Hyland-Bye-bye-BB-as-it-sinks-to-new-low.html
The Vanessa part made me laugh out loud.
The point about John Mcririck is spot on, he was the best part about UBB by a mile. Even though he's a twat.
Not as bad as BB11, but it has been a let down.
Bye-bye BB as it sinks to new low
DISTRESSING scenes at ULTIMATE BIG BROTHER on Friday night, where the despicable booing of Nadia by the rent-a-moron crowd ultimately confirmed why this show has to go.
And where Davina McCall's worrying transformation into a bitchy 13-year-old girl proved it's probably best for her career that it is going.
Yet, amazingly, these were not the most disturbing visions on the night. For there on that screen was every bridegroom's nightmare: A wedding veil being lifted to reveal Vanessa Feltz's beaming orange face.
A hell of a fright. And even the kindest, most generously-spirited soul would have been hard pushed not to yell, "Blimey, it's Princess Fiona from Shrek!"
Of course, scary as it was, it wasn't that much of a surprise for the housemates. I mean, given the contours of that wedding dress it was either going to be The Feltz, Tina Malone or Gos from BB4.
But Vanessa's arrival means we now find ourselves in the strange position of hoping an over-exposed rentagob can somehow prevent this legendary show ending up as the almightiest of damp squibs this Friday.
Otherwise, history will not be kind to UBB. A show which, as a casual viewing spectacle, started tanking the minute they allowed John McCririck to be evicted after just three days.
Which was badly listing when the "normal" winner Josie decided being in a house full of BB ghosts was too weird for her.
And which finally ran aground last Friday when the promised two new housemates turned out not to be Shilpa Shetty and Jo O'Meara.
In truth, it was probably a non-starter from the off. But even I was surprised at how quickly UBB was encapsulated by both "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "familiarity breeds contempt."
Cos while on Night One I was like "ah, Brian Dowling", by Day Two I was like "ah, feck off Brian Dowling!"
Sweaty
Rabid, easily-pleased BB fans will violently disagree, but for me this farewell show is a bit like Masters Football.
I don't want to watch a sweaty, purple-faced Norman Whiteside lugging his belly round a five-a-side pitch in Rotherham. I'd prefer to remember him curling in an FA Cup Final winner from the edge of the box at Wembley.
Likewise I don't want to see the likes of Nadia, Nick Bateman and Victor Ebuwa reliving moments in time. Because that's all they were, kids - moments in time.
Anyone who's watched the show over the past ten years will know that pointing out Endemol are a bit self-indulgent is like saying Adrian Chiles likes a moan.
But this is what UBB has turned into. The Endemol lot licking themselves in a mirror.
Nothing wrong with that of course. They've had much to be proud of over the years. But nobody wants to watch them doing it on telly for two and half weeks. Truth is, C4 would have been better off sacking the normal show this summer and giving us a belting six- week celebrity version instead.
That would've been a much more fitting send-off. And it's certainly the only way I can see BB surviving if it does end up on Channel 5.
But that's for the future. For now, I'm going to forget that watching this show became a chore somewhere between Series 5 and 6, when it started pandering to the worst extremes of teenage hormones and the housemate numbers started creeping up.
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/columnists/ianhyland/942196/Ian-Hyland-Bye-bye-BB-as-it-sinks-to-new-low.html
The Vanessa part made me laugh out loud.
The point about John Mcririck is spot on, he was the best part about UBB by a mile. Even though he's a twat.
Not as bad as BB11, but it has been a let down.