Fancy helping me with a real life dilemma?

[BBfan46]

Would anybody like to help me with a problem?

I'm 16 and I moved to my current school 6 years ago, when I got here this kid sort of bullied me for a couple of years and I really resented him than one Summer I got to know him and I fell for him and now 3 years on, I find it's taking a lot out of my life and me, I've told loads of my friends but obviously they are unable to help. Some facts that are probably important if you're going to offer me some advice :)



I'm male.
He's the most popular guy in our school.
I'm kind of in the middle with the 'cool' sort of thing.
He did tell me 'He'd do anything for me.'
He's flirted with me, quite a bit.
We haven't spoken in a while
He makes jokes at my expense fairly often.
He thinks I dislike him (because everyone else expects me to)

Thank you :)

[Jessica.]

You should talk to him and tell him what you think of him and if that fails you can't beat telling the auld authority figure in the school.

[Raph]

He's most likely straight so don't bother with it.. It would just creep him out. :/

[BBfan46]

He's most likely straight so don't bother with it.. It would just creep him out. :/

Probably :(

[Jack_]

Raph posed a good question - what's HIS sexuality? That's a factor.

If it's really bothering you though you just need to tell him. Guess it depends how you think he'd react.

removed

Troll.

[LaLaLand]

I'd leave it if I were you. If he's straight you could end up looking a total fool. Just ride it out, if he does show perhaps small degree of 'that' attention back then go for it.

But don't just come straight out with it because, as someone else has said, it will mp scare him.

[BBfan46]

Raph posed a good question - what's HIS sexuality? That's a factor.

If it's really bothering you though you just need to tell him. Guess it depends how you think he'd react.



Troll.

Yeah, I think I might have too, I have no idea, he hasn't had a girlfriend in about 5 years. So I don't actually know.

[MTVN]

You could just try and subtley question him on his sexuality, but dont make it too obvious. If he shows no hint of being gay it may just be best to give up and move on.

[BBfan46]

You could just try and subtley question him on his sexuality, but dont make it too obvious. If he shows no hint of being gay it may just be best to give up and move on.

I wish I could, I'm **** at moving on apparently :joker:

[BB_Eye]

Would anybody like to help me with a problem?

I'm 16 and I moved to my current school 6 years ago, when I got here this kid sort of bullied me for a couple of years and I really resented him than one Summer I got to know him and I fell for him and now 3 years on, I find it's taking a lot out of my life and me, I've told loads of my friends but obviously they are unable to help. Some facts that are probably important if you're going to offer me some advice :)



I'm male.
He's the most popular guy in our school.
I'm kind of in the middle with the 'cool' sort of thing.
He did tell me 'He'd do anything for me.'
He's flirted with me, quite a bit.
We haven't spoken in a while
He makes jokes at my expense fairly often.
He thinks I dislike him (because everyone else expects me to)

Thank you :)


He sounds as if he's stringing you along. It's easy for someone to say they'd 'do anything for you', but if he's making jokes at your expense that often, it's probably better you don't let him waste your time. Plus it goes without saying the most popular people at school are pretty much all complete dicks.

[Vicky.]

I would just leave it. And if hes always making jokes at your expense, then totally forget him. Sounds like a bit of a dick :/

And also, removed some posts in here. No need for them...

[BBfan46]

I would just leave it. And if hes always making jokes at your expense, then totally forget him. Sounds like a bit of a dick :/

And also, removed some posts in here. No need for them...

He is, I hate myself.

Thanks :)

[Locke.]

Does everyone in the school know that you're gay/bi? Cos the chances are that he is straight, and telling him could possibly make him feel weird, (and especially because you've said he already makes jokes about you) he would probably tell everyone and then you'd have everyone making fun of you.... Best to just leave it.

[BBfan46]

Does everyone in the school know that you're gay/bi? Cos the chances are that he is straight, and telling him could possibly make him feel weird, (and especially because you've said he already makes jokes about you) he would probably tell everyone and then you'd have everyone making fun of you.... Best to just leave it.

No, they don't know I'm bi, but they all think I am :joker:

[alc09]

:joker:

[BBfan46]

:joker:

I'm glad you find this so funny, go sort out your insecurities somewhere else.

[Niamh.]

No, they don't know I'm bi, but they all think I am :joker:

Best not come out to a guy who has previously made jokes at your expense, chances are you'll only be giving him more ammunition.

You should concentrate on people who are nice to you and treat you with respect.

[BBfan46]

Best not come out to a guy who has previously made jokes at your expense, chances are you'll only be giving him more ammunition.

You should concentrate on people who are nice to you and treat you with respect.

Thank you :)

[xDramatick]

From personal experience.. you're probably reading too into it.
I was in a similar situation at school with a friend and when I told him, he was fine with it but wasn't interested (although by then I'd convinced myself he could be).

[cub]

Just play it cool. Work out some likely scenarios and likely consequences.

Think of the the worst possible thing that could happen.

Now think of the best.

Now think of the most likely.

Think of how you may have reacted when he said he would do anything for you. How might you have come across? Did you give any feelings away.

He could be p-teasing you.
He could be genuine.
He could be feeling experimental with his sexuality.

No-one can really advise but you could just take it slowly, don't dwell on it, take a laid-back approach and distract yourself with other, more likely romantic pursuits.

I'm interested in 'sort of bullied' by the way. How did this manifest itself?

[BBfan46]

Just play it cool. Work out some likely scenarios and likely consequences.

Think of the the worst possible thing that could happen.

Now think of the best.

Now think of the most likely.

Think of how you may have reacted when he said he would do anything for you. How might you have come across? Did you give any feelings away.

He could be p-teasing you.
He could be genuine.
He could be feeling experimental with his sexuality.

No-one can really advise but you could just take it slowly, don't dwell on it, take a laid-back approach and distract yourself with other, more likely romantic pursuits.

I'm interested in 'sort of bullied' by the way. How did this manifest itself?

I think this is good advice, I have had plenty of time to think of the likely scenarios with it being 3 years and everything.

He did bully me end of.

[Z]

If you haven't spoken in a while; I think it would be a terrible idea to go ahead and tell him how you feel... on the other hand; if it all goes wrong then you're not losing out on a friend - you haven't spoken in a while. Sorry to put a downer on the situation; who knows how he'll react to what you have to say? Is he immature? If so, then I'd have thought he would respond to what you tell him in an immature way. At the end of the day it's your call... but I wouldn't go through with it unless you're willing to accept the loss of him as a friend and any potential problems that come along with that. If you could handle that, then I'd say tell him, otherwise, nah...

[serensilver]

it kinda reminds me of the "waterloo road" with josh and finn, all was well until josh went in for the kiss and finn turned nasty etc!

dont jump in with two feet and suss the waters first otherwise it could backfire on you, he is as you say the most popular guy in school so be very careful what you say and do! what you see as flirting he may see as harmless banter between mates! He may also be straight? or he could feel the same way and be waiting for the "time" ! you say you havent spoken to him for a while so the first thing to do is maybe approach him and just start as friends etc and see where that leads you! dont scare him off though.

good luck

[BBfan46]

it kinda reminds me of the "waterloo road" with josh and finn, all was well until josh went in for the kiss and finn turned nasty etc!

dont jump in with two feet and suss the waters first otherwise it could backfire on you, he is as you say the most popular guy in school so be very careful what you say and do! what you see as flirting he may see as harmless banter between mates! He may also be straight? or he could feel the same way and be waiting for the "time" ! you say you havent spoken to him for a while so the first thing to do is maybe approach him and just start as friends etc and see where that leads you! dont scare him off though.

good luck

Thank You :D

and thanks to everyone else this has really helped :)

[Agger]

:joker:

I can't take it seriously either Alc

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

find out if he is gay

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

i never fancied anybody at school : / apart from my pe teacher who was like 35 and married (bitch)

[BBfan46]

find out if he is gay

How do you suggest I do that, shall I leave you in a room alone with him ;)

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

How do you suggest I do that, shall I leave you in a room alone with him ;)

eew bitch hes like 16 : / thats just wrong

[BBfan46]

eew bitch hes like 16 : / thats just wrong

17 actually, I was kidding, I was not promoting pedophilia bitch :)

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

ask him if he likes will and grace

[BBfan46]

ask him if he likes will and grace

:joker: it's fullproof :)

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

or tell him you have found a lump on your testicle and you want to have a feel of his to see if they are similar

[BBfan46]

or tell him you have found a lump on your testicle and you want to have a feel of his to see if they are similar

:joker:

[cub]

There's no litmus test you can try that can show someone is gay.

I knew someone who I was sure was gay. He went to gay bars, looked 'gay'. One drunken night I bit the bullet in a gay bar and he revealed he wasn't gay - just liked the bars where he felt safe/relaxed. In fact he didn't have much of a sexuality and was pretty much not interested in either sex.

You seem to be on the right path, good luck.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

There's no litmus test you can try that can show someone is gay.

I knew someone who I was sure was gay. He went to gay bars, looked 'gay'. One drunken night I bit the bullet in a gay bar and he revealed he wasn't gay - just liked the bars where he felt safe/relaxed. In fact he didn't have much of a sexuality and was pretty much not interested in either sex.

You seem to be on the right path, good luck.

he might just not like cubs

[cub]

I don't think he liked anyone. :hugesmile: He had issues - great shame as he was lush!

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

I don't think he liked anyone. :hugesmile: He had issues - great shame as he was lush!

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