'Ugh that's so gay'

[Shaun]

What do you think of the title statement? Is it a constant undermining of homosexuality, or just a harmless turn of phrase?

[Braden]

I don't get that annoyed when people use the phrase...but I never use it :p

Why? What do you think?

[InOne]

It's harmless. I say things like "Oh, my computer is being gay" or whatever. Anyone who gets offended by anything like that has a serious chip on their shoulder.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

i dont say that. i say omg thats so straight

[MTVN]

I suppose it's harmless, it's intention is never really to mock or undermine gay people, a lot of the time it's referring to something completely unrelated to homosexuality.

[Mystic Mock]

I suppose it's harmless, it's intention is never really to mock or undermine gay people, a lot of the time it's referring to something completely unrelated to homosexuality.

i agree mtvn.

[MeMyselfAndI]

not offensive at all

[Ninastar]

My friend who is gay, says things are gay, so surely it can't be that offensive. I used to say it all the time, but I say it less now. I don't think i say it at all actually

[Shaun]

I'm only indecisive because whilst I understand some homosexuals/bisexuals/whatever use it, and don't find it offensive - it's still using sexuality as an insult for something bad.

[Jack_]

It's not really 'damaging', but it does show the person using it up to be ignorant and in possession of a very limited vocabulary.

[Jords]

Harmless, its always used around school.

[Niamh.]

I don't know really, I've never used it myself but then again I'm not gay so I'm not sure how I'd feel about it if I were

[Ninastar]

I don't think anyone means to use it in an offensive way, its just how its come to be and everyone says it because its a good way of putting something across. even if it is really offensive

[Niall]

I'm gay myself and I even say it....so I think its harmless. It's just like the way gay used to mean happy. Words change over time I guess.

[Tom]

It's not really 'damaging', but it does show the person using it up to be ignorant and in possession of a very limited vocabulary.

why? its just a turn of phrase. doesn't mean anything about your intellect

[Miss Ivy Balls]

I selected damaging.

If you say that then you're using the word 'gay' in a bad light. Gay has two meanings. Gay as in sexuality and gay as in happy.

There is homophobia out there so to use it to describe something bad is rather disrespectful to gay people whether it is intended or not.

[Niall]

I selected damaging.

If you say that then you're using the word 'gay' in a bad light. Gay has two meanings. Gay as in sexuality and gay as in happy.

There is homophobia out there so to use it to describe something bad is rather disrespectful to gay people whether it is intended or not.

BUT a word can gain a new meaning right? I'm pretty sure people reacted this way when us gays started using the word to describe us as a group of people. :spin:

[Jack_]

why? its just a turn of phrase. doesn't mean anything about your intellect

Because you're using a word in completely the wrong context. 'Gay' is a sexuality, not a descriptive word for bad things.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

I'm gay myself and I even say it....so I think its harmless. It's just like the way gay used to mean happy. Words change over time I guess.

Exactly, but now it is sexuality so using the word gay is described to something bad.

This is soo gay.

Therefore, in another sense meaning homosexuality is bad/wrong etc.

It is just the way society is and I think people follow things, but totally understandable why someone would think it is offensive.

[Niall]

Exactly, but now it is sexuality so using the word gay is described to something bad.

This is soo gay.

Therefore, in another sense meaning homosexuality is bad/wrong etc.

It is just the way society is and I think people follow things, but totally understandable why someone would think it is offensive.

True, I just think that most of us teens say it because everyone else does and not because we're all a bunch of homophobic idiots lmao.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

BUT a word can gain a new meaning right? I'm pretty sure people reacted this was when us gays started using the word to describe us as a group of people. :spin:

I will take Jack's post for this:

Because you're using a word in completely the wrong context. 'Gay' is a sexuality, not a descriptive word for bad things.

What new meaning then? Gay is a sexuality not a word to describe something as bad, unless you think homosexuality is bad? Obviously you don't because you're gay yourself. When you say something is gay, you're saying it is bad. What other word does gay stand for? Not happy in this case because you're saying something is bad. As far as I'm aware the only other meaning of gay is sexuality.

[Niall]

I will take Jack's post for this:



What new meaning then? Gay is a sexuality not a word to describe something as bad, unless you think homosexuality is bad? Obviously you don't because you're gay yourself. When you say something is gay, you're saying it is bad. What other word does gay stand for? Not happy in this case because you're saying something is bad. As far as I'm aware the only other meaning of gay is sexuality.

I tend to say more out of frustration/thinking something is stupid etc. I would say the new meaning would be someone showing discontent towards something. But like I said before, most people say because everyone else does. I personally wouldn't connect it to homophobia now although that was probably was the case when people started tossing the word around. The same thing has happened to many other words. Take the word negro for example. Even it is widely considered by most people to be extremely offensive today, many black people refer to each other in its modern form *****.

I think that the way gay is being used now by my generation will probably fizzle out as we get older. It might be passed down to the next, it might not. Personally I think it won't.

[MrGaryy]

I understand that most people don't say it with malice or intend to offend anyone but I just don't understand why they couldn't just use another word that doesn't run the risk of offending ANY minority group. surely thats easier for everyone?

but yeah I think it's damaging. ultimately it's breeding kids' minds into thinking that gay people are something wrong that should be looked down upon.

[KG.]

It doesn't bother me, but I don't really think it's right.. Maybe not damaging.

There would be outrage if we started calling bad or useless things 'black.'

[Shaun]

I think maybe I picked the wrong word - cause for offence is more appropriate.

I see it as quite similar to the N word. There are those amongst the LGBT community (I hate to call them a community since the majority of us don't sit around in pink gazebos sipping tea (though I'd like to)) who have kind of embraced the word in an empowering sense.

But they're naive to overlook the historically bad contexts the words have been used in.

[Conzors]

As a gay man, i personally don't find it offensive - its the same when people say oh thats pants, cos actually pants can be cool :D haha x

[30stone]

Always use that phrase as do most of my friends..
say it without even thinking..

[Shasown]

I dont use the word myself, well not in that context.

I can understand given its etymology if some people got upset by its use.

[Legend killer]

Me personally find nothing wrong with it i say it all the time and so do a lot of my mates

[BB_Eye]

I've never really used the word in that context since secondary school. Everybody should have left it there to be honest.

[lostalex]

well considering the way people use it, basically to mean it's crap or sh!t, ofcourse it's offensive.

Especially because gay epople are the only minority that do NOT have equal rights in most countries.

How would you feel if you were the only British person in a class in America or wherever, and everyone kept saying "ugh, that's so british!" whenever they were describing something stupid, or crappy, or sh!t. I think you would be offended and it would start to piss you off eventually.

It is derogatory. Gay people are a minority, that do not have equal rights as citizens yet.

The equivalent would be people saying "that's so negro" 80 years ago when blacks didn't have equal rights. I think we'd all agree that saying "that's so negro" to describe something bad would be racist right?

This is no different.

[lostalex]

This poll is interesting though. 72% of the forum are bigots.

[ILoveTRW]

The only people who find it offensive are people who are uncomfortable with their sexuality.

[lostalex]

The only people who find it offensive are people who are uncomfortable with their sexuality.


I can assure that you are wrong. I am very comfortable with my sexuality, and i have a BIG problem with it. maybe you should try speaking for yourself.

[Benjamin]

It makes me chuckle when people say it in front of me, and then turn and are apologetic, saying they didn't mean to be rude.

I don't care, it's not like they are being homophobic, I even catch myself saying it now and again. :)


I myself am gay, and I find it annoying when gays get angry over it. They need to stop being such sensitive soft-weights. And if you want to get technical about the wrod 'gay', it originally ment happy. :)

[lostalex]

It makes me chuckle when people say it in front of me, and then turn and are apologetic, saying they didn't mean to be rude.

I don't care, it's not like they are being homophobic, I even catch myself saying it now and again. :)


I myself am gay, and I find it annoying when gays get angry over it. They need to stop being such sensitive soft-weights. And if you want to get technical about the wrod 'gay', it originally ment happy. :)

have you ever heard the term "uncle tom"?

[Benjamin]

have you ever heard the term "uncle tom"?

Yes actually I have heard the term, and that plays no reference to the debate here.

Now if the word in question was '******', then the context of the meaning would be very different. As it so goes, the word is 'Gay' and is not meant in a homophobic manner. As you may notice, words change their meaning throughout history, and this word is a strong example.

Now I don't know much about the culture in the USA regarding homosexuals, but in UK, homosexuality is not anywhere near as frowned upon as it used to be, and generally, most people have no issue with it. Most gay guys I know here (myself included) have no issue with that expression, and why would we? It's not an insult directed towards us...

[lostalex]

Yes actually I have heard the term, and that plays no reference to the debate here.

Now if the word in question was '******', then the context of the meaning would be very different. As it so goes, the word is 'Gay' and is not meant in a homophobic manner. As you may notice, words change their meaning throughout history, and this word is a strong example.

Now I don't know much about the culture in the USA regarding homosexuals, but in UK, homosexuality is not anywhere near as frowned upon as it used to be, and generally, most people have no issue with it. Most gay guys I know here (myself included) have no issue with that expression, and why would we? It's not an insult directed towards us...


oh okay, so you think when someone says "that's so gay" they arn't referring to homosexuality at all? i think you are giving people the benefit of the doubt. i think you are naive.

it is homophobia imo. it comes from hip-hop culture, and it is specifically associating homosexuality with a negative context.

[Benjamin]

oh okay, so you think when someone says "that's so gay" they arn't referring to homosexuality at all? i think you are giving people the benefit of the doubt. i think you are naive.

it is homophobia imo. it comes from hip-hop culture, and it is specifically associating homosexuality with a negative context.


Maybe I am naive, but hey-ho, I'd rather be that than a sensitive soul who cries in protest at every single thing in the world...

To me the expression is no worse than saying you are having a blonde moment. It's harmless. So why make a fuss out of it? This world is getting too PC and soft.

Man up! You don't hear the blonde people of the world crying everytime someone uses the forementioned phrase :hugesmile:

[lostalex]

Maybe I am naive, but hey-ho, I'd rather be that than a sensitive soul who cries in protest at every single thing in the world...

To me the expression is no worse than saying you are having a blonde moment. It's harmless. So why make a fuss out of it? This world is getting too PC and soft.

Man up! You don't hear the blonde people of the world crying everytime someone uses the forementioned phrase :hugesmile:

Last time i checked, blondes have equal rights....

You don't seem to understand that gays do NOT have equal rights yet, and are the only legally discriminated against minority in both my country and yours.

That means a lot. (to some of us)


When was the last time you heard of a blonde committing suicide because they were blonde? When was the last time you heard of a blonde being beaten to death for being blonde?

[Benjamin]

last time i checked, blondes had equal rights....

you don't seem to understand that gays do NOT have equal rights yet, and are the only legally discriminated against minority in both my country and yours.

Times are changing, fast, so one day it will happen. But equal rights has nothing to do with the phrase 'that's so gay'.

And to be honest, there are many more important things I can spend my time worrying about, such as recession, living, keeping a roof over my head etc, than to be fretting about a harmless, and sometimes comical, statement. :hugesmile:

[lostalex]

Times are changing, fast, so one day it will happen. But equal rights has nothing to do with the phrase 'that's so gay'.

And to be honest, there are many more important things I can spend my time worrying about, such as recession, living, keeping a roof over my head etc, than to be fretting about a harmless, and sometimes comical, statement. :hugesmile:

harmless? perhaps you should do some reasearch about gay suicide rates. perhaps you should do some research about gay hate crimes around the world.

I know you guys like to say American's have no sense of humour, but i struggle to see what's so "comical" about equating homosexuality with sh!t. Please explain to me what's so funny about it.

[Benjamin]

harmless? perhaps you should do some reasearch about gay suicide rates. perhaps you should do some research about gay hate crimes around the world.

I know you guys like to say American's have no sense of humour, but i struggle to see what's so "comical" about equating homosexuality with sh!t. Please explain to me what's so funny about it.



I think you are taking the pharse a little too extremely. Last time I checked not one gay person committed suicide because somebody used that phrase to describe a situation or something.

I'm not denying that there is homophobia in the world, a great deal of it still, but this phrase isn't used or intended in a malicious or spiteful manner. If people are offended by this phrase then, in my opinion, they are far too sensitive.

Now, like I said, if somebody directly said to a gay man that they are a ******, disgusting, not right etc, then that is a direct, intended and nasty insult, something which should call for action.

[lostalex]

I think you are taking the pharse a little too extremely. Last time I checked not one gay person committed suicide because somebody used that phrase to describe a situation or something.

I'm not denying that there is homophobia in the world, a great deal of it still, but this phrase isn't used or intended in a malicious or spiteful manner. If people are offended by this phrase then, in my opinion, they are far too sensitive.

Now, like I said, if somebody directly said to a gay man that they are a ******, disgusting, not right etc, then that is a direct, intended and nasty insult, something which should call for action.

so in what circumstances do you hear people say the phrase "this is so gay"??

can you give me some examples of how it is used that it isn't offensive?

[Benjamin]

so in what circumstances do you hear people say the phrase "this is so gay"??

can you give me some examples of how it is used that it isn't offensive?


Well, for example, I say to my mates sometimes that what there wearing is so gay, doesn't mean I don't like what they are wearing, it just makes them look like a gay man (or something I would wear). They don't take this offensively, because it's not meant offensively, and they certainly don't cry and go jump off a bridge because of it.

Look all I'm saying is that this is a harmless statement, if you want to take it as personal insult to all homosexuals, then feel free, but most gay guys I know couldn't give a toss about it, we are too busy waiting for the next Glee to start and worrying about when GaGa will next release an album. :hugesmile:


(and just incase anyone thinks I now like Gaga and Glee, I still do not! :) )

[lostalex]

Well if we're going to frame this conversation in terms of "glee", i think Kurt would be offended if Finn said "that's gay". Infact here was an episode where Finn did get pissed off and say that exact thing.

Kurt's dad came to his defense, and kicked Finn out of his house because of it. it was a very poigniant episode of Glee.

[Benjamin]

Well if we're going to frame this conversation in terms of "glee", i think Kurt would be offended if Finn said "that's gay". Infact here was an episode where Finn did get pissed off and say that exact thing.

Kurt's dad came to his defense, and kicked Finn out of his house because of it. it was a very poigniant episode of Glee.


I don't watch Glee, and I don't really care.

If you want to take the phrase as an insult, then feel free, I have said my side of the debate, I myself have better things to 'freak out' over. :hugesmile:

[lostalex]

I don't watch Glee, and I don't really care.

If you want to take the phrase as an insult, then feel free, I have said my side of the debate, I myself have better things to 'freak out' over. :hugesmile:

no one's freaking out over it. i've been incredibly reasoned and patient in my response to you.

[M X]

I don't get offended or annoyed by it, but it's sad that people say that. I think it's sad because when somebody describes something NEGATIVE and uses the word 'gay', thats saying being gay is a negative. Even if you don't mean it in that way, it's still using it as a negative thing, where it shouldn't be.

[M X]

Well if we're going to frame this conversation in terms of "glee", i think Kurt would be offended if Finn said "that's gay". Infact here was an episode where Finn did get pissed off and say that exact thing.

Kurt's dad came to his defense, and kicked Finn out of his house because of it. it was a very poigniant episode of Glee.

Wrong. Finn called Kurt a fa**ot.

[lostalex]

Wrong. Finn called Kurt a fa**ot. he described his decor as "gay" first though. which was what i was referring to.

but anyways, saying something is "gay" is the same as caling something "faggy" it's the same thing in the (small)minds of the homophobes that use that type of language.

[M X]

he described his decor as "gay" first though. which was what i was referring to.

but anyways, saying something is "gay" is the same as caling something "faggy" it's the same thing in the (small)minds of the homophobes that use that type of language.

I agree with you.
I do know that not all people who use the term 'thats so gay' are homophobic, but I do think it's wrong to say it, as it is a homophobic slur.

[GypsyGoth]

I think the word "gay" is just evolving to have another meaning. The word has an interesting past http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=gay&searchmode=none.

Anyway I've never used the phrase but also I don't believe people who use it are purposely being insulting towards gay people.

[Z]

I think it's only offensive in certain contexts, like most insults. If you just said the F word in a general statement, most people wouldn't bat an eyelid, but if you directed it towards someone then it suddenly takes on a more serious, personally insulting form. Similarly somebody referring to something as 'so gay' generally doesn't raise an eyebrow, but if somebody described a person as 'so gay' then it's much more serious. I don't say it at all now, and haven't said it for a long time. It's only offensive if it's intended to be offensive, really.

[Kerry]

Context. Harry Hill used it today on his new show. It wasn't meant as an insult.

People may call me "such a girl". It's only stating fact lol. I'm female

I wish people wouldn't take offense at a sneeze in the wrong direction these days :(

[cub]

Saying 'gay' in a negative way - however well intentioned - is not good.

[Kerry]

I really don't understand how anyone can be offended by being addressed by what they are. Should they not be proud? OK if someone said "ugh" so gay then yes but being called gay is not an insult is it?

[cub]

It is when said in a negative way.