Does marriage matter to you?

[Kerry]

I know we have a majority of younger members here but a general question - Do you want to get married? Do you dream of weddings? I'd love to hear from both male and females of all ages

When I was younger I used to crave it. Not the wedding (I HATE attention) but the general marriage yet now it doesn't fuss me one way or the other


Views.....

[Stephanie]

not sure really, depends if i meet the right person or not. i don't dream about marriage or anything though like some people i know who have like planned their weddings already and stuff. i guess it would be nice being married to someone and all that, but then like a lot of people get divorced and stuff nowadays so idk, it's off putting.

[Vicky.]

Not really. I am not religious, so I just see it as a piece of paper and an expensive party to be honest.

I would do it, but its not something I would go out of my way to do...if that makes sense :/

[Kerry]

Think thats the same here. I'd do it but I'm not religious so it'd be a civil ceremony.

I've been with my OH for over 16 years at it is. I think he'd like a ceremony to get rid..... :joker:

[Vicky.]

Haha.

Gavin wants to get married...I said I would but no churches/dresses/any of that crap.

Its hard for me to understand though, as hes not religious either. Its not about pleasing parents as neither mine or his would be too bothered by it...but mind, it is a brilliant excuse for a nice holiday :joker:

[Kerry]

If I ever got married I'd piddle off somewhere and tell the family/friends later. I hate fuss

[Niamh.]

Well, I'm not religious at all but I don't look at marriage in a religious sense more like the ultimate commitment to your partner. That's just my view on it though I don't think people should get married if it's not for them. I take it very seriously, there is no way I would have gotten married if I wasn't as sure as I possibly could be about it and I was with my husband.

[Iceman]

Funny story, I was gonna get married last year for the hell of it, me and my GF at the time were gonna go to a registry office and do it. Literally meant nothing to either of us so we thought we may aswell. Then we thought how it could affect our families and decided against it...

Although I'd never say NO to marriage it's just not a high priority in terms of how I see my life panning out.

[Niamh.]

Funny story, I was gonna get married last year for the hell of it, me and my GF at the time were gonna go to a registry office and do it. Literally meant nothing to either of us so we thought we may aswell. Then we thought how it could affect our families and decided against it...

Although I'd never say NO to marriage it's just not a high priority in terms of how I see my life panning out.

and besides the affect it would have on your families you'd have to think about the legal implications too, it's a binding contract that you'd have to get out of if you decided to split up!

[Iceman]

and besides the affect it would have on your families you'd have to think about the legal implications too, it's a binding contract that you'd have to get out of if you decided to split up!

That was another reason at the time aswell, it was an idea we toyed with for a month or two..... (luckily it didnt happen and as it turned out she was a slut.)

[Niamh.]

That was another reason at the time aswell, it was an idea we toyed with for a month or two..... (luckily it didnt happen and as it turned out she was a slut.)

:laugh2:

[setanta]

I don't attend mass myself and, as I have never felt the appropriate kind of love that's necessary for a step like this, I suppose I'm not qualified really to answer, but yeah, I must say that if or when there comes a time that I find a girl who I couldn't even begin to imagine living without I wouldn't hesitate in the slightest. I suppose I'm an old romantic at heart underneath all the cynicism but yeah, there's something very touching about giving oneself entirely to another, body and soul. But yeah, then there's another part of me that questions if that actually happens with couples: if that love exists because let's be honest, most people marry out of fear. I'll get killed for that!

[lostalex]

Marriage itself doesn't matter to me, because i'm not married. However the fact that i am not legally allowed to marry does affect me, because it means all citizens do not have equal rights.

So being discriminated against, i'm sure does affect all gay people in the US and UK who do not enjoy the same rights as heterosexual people.

I've certainly dreamed about my wedding day, imagined what i'll wear, thought about which family members would show up, which would not. Imagined the playlist of songs at the reception. It is fun to think about.

Marriage is a legal institution, not a religious institution.

[Kazanne]

That was another reason at the time aswell, it was an idea we toyed with for a month or two..... (luckily it didnt happen and as it turned out she was a slut.)

:joker::joker::joker:

[Sunday]

Well, I'm not religious at all but I don't look at marriage in a religious sense more like the ultimate commitment to your partner. That's just my view on it though I don't think people should get married if it's not for them. I take it very seriously, there is no way I would have gotten married if I wasn't as sure as I possibly could be about it and I was with my husband.


Agree with this, Marriage should be taken seriously or dont get married.

[arista]

Male Churches into Disco's

[Patrick]

Meh,


Like I have had dreams like just one or two about getting married to a girl in my school when we're older but like that was just a phase.

I don't know tbh, I'm not really bothered.

And all the Sex before Marriage things would be hell so I wouldn't follow that, I would probably end up killing my mum or something because she'd want to interfere just as alot of mums do.

I'd hate paying for it, I like my money you see.

And I'd hate listening to my girlfriend banging on about it for months to the point where I'd ******ing lock her out of the house.

But the honey moon and the party would be wicked.

I'd want to get married before I have a kid, I'd hate to have a kid and then get married because it'd just be too stressful.


Go out for about over 6 years, Get married, Have a child about 3 years later.

[MTVN]

Nah, not that bothered about it. Never really seen the appeal or why it is considered necessary tbh. Not saying I want to spend my whole life a bachelor but I'd happily settle down with someone without marrying them. A couple who my parents are friends with aren't married but have been together for 30 years, never feeling the need to be wed.

I probably would get married for the right person, though I have no ore-planned intention to do so. It's the same with kids. At this point in my life I'd say that I never really want children, that may change when I'm older though.

[Beastie]

Are you married Kerry?

I think maybe when I was younger I wanted to get married.
To be honest.. it sounds too much pressure.
I am still with my boyfriend after a long time.. but I would want us to get a nest together before getting married.
A part of me thinks.. maybe we might as well have kids first before marriage?

Anyway.. I would like to get married.. BUT.. I just get paranoid.. Lots of marriages are breaking down. I need to KNOW that the man is the right one for me. Suppose you won't know will you? I don't want to ever end up getting a divorce but like.. If I end up "unhappy" in a marriage I don't want to be "tied down" as well.. until "death do part".

Anyway.. if I do get married.. I would love a SMALL affair.
I would love it if it was just me, my husband to be and JUST both our parents at the wedding. I don't like attention. I don't want a "big deal" out of it. I would be happy to get married in a register office or something.

Marriage does sound like a lovely thing. But just not the wedding part. Mmmm.

[lostalex]

Patrick why are you moaning about cost? Doesn't the father of the bride usually have to pay?

That's the tradition here in America, maybe it's different in the UK. ???

[MTVN]

Are you married Kerry?

I think maybe when I was younger I wanted to get married.
To be honest.. it sounds too much pressure.
I am still with my boyfriend after a long time.. but I would want us to get a nest together before getting married.
A part of me thinks.. maybe we might as well have kids first before marriage?

Anyway.. I would like to get married.. BUT.. I just get paranoid.. Lots of marriages are breaking down. I need to KNOW that the man is the right one for me. Suppose you won't know will you? I don't want to ever end up getting a divorce but like.. If I end up "unhappy" in a marriage I don't want to be "tied down" as well.. until "death do part".

Anyway.. if I do get married.. I would love a SMALL affair.
I would love it if it was just me, my husband to be and JUST both our parents at the wedding. I don't like attention. I don't want a "big deal" out of it. I would be happy to get married in a register office or something.

Marriage does sound like a lovely thing. But just not the wedding part. Mmmm.

I thought you were saying you'd love to cheat on your husband at first :laugh:

[Beastie]

I thought you were saying you'd love to cheat on your husband at first :laugh:

Lol! :hugesmile:

[Beastie]

Patrick why are you moaning about cost? Doesn't the father of the bride usually have to pay?

That's the tradition here in America, maybe it's different in the UK. ???

Yeah.. I remember hearing that tradition here too.

I don't think it works like that anymore.

[Vicky.]

Patrick why are you moaning about cost? Doesn't the father of the bride usually have to pay?

That's the tradition here in America, maybe it's different in the UK. ???

Most people pay for their own.

As they should tbh...why should the brides father get stuck paying for a huge p*** up for everyone?

[arista]

"Patrick why are you moaning about cost?"


Thats due to the Depression of Eire
effecting all of Ireland now

[Niamh.]

Yeah I think that tradition is well and truly gone these days, my dad certainly didn't pay for my wedding!

[Niamh.]

"Patrick why are you moaning about cost?"


Thats due to the Depression of Eire
effecting all of Ireland now

Don't start:nono:

[MissKittyFantastico]

I've never dreamt about getting married, it's never really been on my radar tbh, after seeing my parent's marriage breakdown in the most awful way when I was 14, it pretty much put me off! My dad has gone on to remarry though and he is happier than he's ever been, and my bf has made it very clear he wants us to get married at some point, so I don't know. I think it's a pretty tired and outdated institution tbh, I mean it's all very nice and all that but not necessary. I mean you can change your surname by deed poll, if you have kids you can give them your partner's name or whatever if that's an issue, so I just don't see the need for it.

If I do get married it won't be a big thing, probably take our two best friends away with us and do on the quiet without any fuss, I'd rather use the several thousand pounds a big church wedding would cost towards a deposit for a house.

I sound terribly unromantic lol, I'm really not :laugh:

[InOne]

Nah it's pointless in my view. I'd prefer to have a comfortable relationship with someone without having a label. And I think it's been proven people who aren't married stay together longer. (Don't hold me to that though)

[Niamh.]

Nah it's pointless in my view. I'd prefer to have a comfortable relationship with someone without having a label. And I think it's been proven people who aren't married stay together longer. (Don't hold me to that though)

Eh where did you get that from? If it is so pointless then whether you're married or not would have no bearing on how long you stay together

[InOne]

Eh where did you get that from? If it is so pointless then whether you're married or not would have no bearing on how long you stay together

I did say don't hold me to it :tongue: It's just something i've heard

[Tom4784]

I'm quite a private person when it comes to my feelings and my relationships so i'd hate the idea of the actual ceremony but I'd like the idea of being married I think.

[Stacey.]

I don't mind really. If my partner wanted to/didn't want to get married then I'd happily go along with either because I'm generally not bothered either way.

[Tom]

I'm already engaged but don't plan on getting married for a good few years yet ... anything can happen in that time. I think I am with the right person, 3 years atm and 4 years on and off before that- both straying behind other partners back so must mean something. Its not important to me and I really don't care but I'll do anything to keep her happy (not in a romantic way, just to keep the peace :joker:)

[Jack_]

Not really bothered...I do love going to weddings though!

Well, actually, it's mainly the reception after the wedding that I enjoy going to...the ceremony itself is a snorefest :joker:

[Princess]

Yes,majorily. I've always wanted to find the perfect man,have the most amazing wedding day and have a family life with loads of kids. If you love someone and you want to be with them forever I don't see why anyone wouldn't get married. I'm one of those girls who've been thinking about their wedding since they were 5,I drew my ideal dress and everything,oh and I had a dream a while ago where I found my perfect wedding venue so I hope it exists in real life!

[setanta]

Not really bothered...I do love going to weddings though!

Well, actually, it's mainly the reception after the wedding that I enjoy going to...the ceremony itself is a snorefest :joker:

Nah, the speeches can be funny sometimes... in a bad way. Always worth a watch anyway.

[Ramsay]

marriage is really just an expensive piece of paper saying two people are in a relationship
but yeah id like too would be a laugh

[Jordan.]

I hate weddings & wouldnt be bothered if i ever got married.

[Lucy.]

I think marriage means alot, because I am religous, but I have no desire personally to get married, just not for me.

[Ninastar]

Nope. I think a couple can be in love and they should have to get married to show that.

[Niall]

Hmm I dunno. I mean for a start being Gay makes it difficult for me and being Catholic only adds insult to injury lol! :joker: The only thing about Civil Partnerships I don't like is that they have to be totally devoid of anything religious which is a bummer for me - I would've liked to have a prayer and a hymn here and there you know?

It would be nice to be married though I guess but it really wouldn't bother either way. Its not a huge deal for me but if I met the right man than maybe I'd marry him if I was truly sure he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Who knows, I guess I'll have to see what happens to me in life lol! :spin:

[GypsyGoth]

I'm never getting married and I don't really care about it. Also big gatherings of people are not my idea of a good time.

[Tom]

I'm never getting married and I don't really care about it. Also big gatherings of people are not my idea of a good time.

especially when you have to see family members you dont know or like such as the crackpot auntie & uncle that get wheeled out every other christmas

[Marsh.]

I absolutely hate the gatherings where you have to see the members of your extended family who you rarely see. The ones that still see you as that small 6 year old and say things like "Haven't you gone tall?" etc. And it's like "I'm 20 now you can have a normal, adult conversation with me too you know".

[Patrick]

Not really bothered...I do love going to weddings though!

Well, actually, it's mainly the reception after the wedding that I enjoy going to...the ceremony itself is a snorefest :joker:

:joker::joker:

Same.

Infact I watched my mum and dad's wedding video just to see me in it, I was like 3 at the time and it was quite funny because I was like 'NAN SWEETS' and then you could see my nan giving my haribos and then I just went to sleep through it, I was so qt.

Then I just fast forward the sh*t wedding to the cringey party :joker:

Ugh I wanna go to a wedding party now.

[Patrick]

Patrick why are you moaning about cost? Doesn't the father of the bride usually have to pay?

That's the tradition here in America, maybe it's different in the UK. ???

Sadly it's different in the UK :(

I like that American law better LOL Even though it does sound abit selfish. :)

[Kerry]

Are you married Kerry?

I think maybe when I was younger I wanted to get married.
To be honest.. it sounds too much pressure.
I am still with my boyfriend after a long time.. but I would want us to get a nest together before getting married.
A part of me thinks.. maybe we might as well have kids first before marriage?

Anyway.. I would like to get married.. BUT.. I just get paranoid.. Lots of marriages are breaking down. I need to KNOW that the man is the right one for me. Suppose you won't know will you? I don't want to ever end up getting a divorce but like.. If I end up "unhappy" in a marriage I don't want to be "tied down" as well.. until "death do part".

Anyway.. if I do get married.. I would love a SMALL affair.
I would love it if it was just me, my husband to be and JUST both our parents at the wedding. I don't like attention. I don't want a "big deal" out of it. I would be happy to get married in a register office or something.

Marriage does sound like a lovely thing. But just not the wedding part. Mmmm.


No, I'm not married :)

[joeysteele]

Not a bit, I have no intention of ever getting married, I think it is too easy to walk away from when difficult times come and a fair number of celebrities use it for publicity only. Very sad.

[Beastie]

Not a bit, I have no intention of ever getting married, I think it is too easy to walk away from when difficult times come and a fair number of celebrities use it for publicity only. Very sad.

Yes.

Although David and Victoria Beckham are still together!! and...

Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne! :shocked:

[Jords]

Nope I think its a waste of money for 1 day, if 2 people love each other they dont need paper and a ring around a finger to say it!

But, if I got a gf who wanted to get married, I probably would. My parents arnt so perhaps thats why I dont see the big deal of it. :laugh:

[Kerry]

I do agree that the money spent on weddings literally makes me shudder.

[lostalex]

Sadly it's different in the UK :(

I like that American law better LOL Even though it does sound abit selfish. :)

yea, i guess it sounds pretty good to you....

UNTIL you have a daughter :hugesmile:

[Crimson Dynamo]

until someone invents a better way to keep couples together and raise children securely then it looks like it is here to stay

[Mystic Mock]

i hate them.

[Kerry]

until someone invents a better way to keep couples together and raise children securely then it looks like it is here to stay

A piece of paper does that?

[Crimson Dynamo]

A piece of paper does that?

no. gathering all your friends and family together for a day and publically stating that you intend to love, be faithful, look after and work at the relationship above all else (including legally) does that

[Christina]

I'm a typical girly girl who loves all weddings (whether they're big or not). I don't think it's essential that couples get married, you can proove you love one another in many ways. But it's something i'd like to do in the future if i found someone i loved. So yeah it does kinda matter to me :P

[Kerry]

no. gathering all your friends and family together for a day and publically stating that you intend to love, be faithful, look after and work at the relationship above all else (including legally) does that

It doesn't though. Being married doesn't keep people together and happy. If they are unhappy together it's ridiculous to stay together just because they are married

[Crimson Dynamo]

It doesn't though. Being married doesn't keep people together and happy. If they are unhappy together it's ridiculous to stay together just because they are married

cool story bro

[Kerry]

cool story bro

What?

[Z]

Not really. I am not religious, so I just see it as a piece of paper and an expensive party to be honest.

I would do it, but its not something I would go out of my way to do...if that makes sense :/

That's how I see it; I see marriage as a religious institution and I think it's very disrespectful for people to try and change that (I'm opposed to gay marriage in the very literal sense, I think equal rights should be achieved but there's no need to change marriage laws IMO... that's another debate) and I would, in the same vein, not get married when I'm not religious, it's silly.