If you were cheated on by your partner

[Ammi]

do you think you could ever truly forgive them or do you think you could never trust them again?

[Niamh.]

depends on the circumstances I suppose, an affair I know I could never forgive or trust my husband again. I would also struggle with cheating but depending on the story etc could possibly forgive

[Ammi]

depends on the circumstances I suppose, an affair I know I could never forgive or trust my husband again. I would also struggle with cheating but depending on the story etc could possibly forgive

I don't know if we ever know unless it happened to us but I have friends (unfortunately too many) who this has happened to and they say they have forgiven but they don't trust their partner anymore. I know it takes time to forget but if you have really forgiven surely you would have to trust as well as trust is everything

[Benjamin]

Nope. Never. It happened to me with my ex-fiancee and we tried getting back together several times, but I could never forget what they did and the trust wasn't there. I loved them, still do I suppose, and it hurt to realise that we could never have what we once had, no matter how hard we tried. So I ended it for good rather than become unhappy.

[Niamh.]

I don't know if we ever know unless it happened to us but I have friends (unfortunately too many) who this has happened to and they say they have forgiven but they don't trust their partner anymore. I know it takes time to forget but if you have really forgiven surely you would have to trust as well as trust is everything

yeah, like you said it's hard to tell really unless you're in the situation but I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to trust him again if it was an affair as besides the actual cheating itself, you have the lies and deceit on top of everything else.

[Ammi]

yeah, like you said it's hard to tell really unless you're in the situation but I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to trust him again if it was an affair as besides the actual cheating itself, you have the lies and deceit on top of everything else.

Yes that for me would be the hardest part I think to decieve someone who trusts you is the lowest

[Niamh.]

Yes that for me would be the hardest part I think to decieve someone who trusts you is the lowest

yeah, I can't stand lying, and for someone who supposedly loves you to stand there and lie to your face would be telling me that they don't actually love you at all, not in the way I view love anyway.

[Ammi]

Nope. Never. It happened to me with my ex-fiancee and we tried getting back together several times, but I could never forget what they did and the trust wasn't there. I loved them, still do I suppose, and it hurt to realise that we could never have what we once had, no matter how hard we tried. So I ended it for good rather than become unhappy.

I guess it was tainted after that and you cant erase that so I am sure you did the right thing - right for you

[Malza]

Clearly No, I would not forgive him

[Livia]

Surely it would depend on whether they were in love with the person they cheated with, or whether it was just sex.

[Ammi]

Surely it would depend on whether they were in love with the person they cheated with, or whether it was just sex.

If they were in love with that person and they wanted to be with them then that would be something you couldn't do anything about but if they weren't I I couldn't say a definate no because whatever the circumstances it would be down to whether I could forgive them in the end

[Tom]

I wouldn't be happy but I'd be a hypocrite if I couldn't forgive or forget so I'd deal with it I guess

But if she cheats with another woman thats completely acceptable as long as the other girl is hot and I get pictures/video or even get to join in at some stage

[Livia]

I wouldn't be happy but I'd be a hypocrite if I couldn't forgive or forget so I'd deal with it I guess

But if she cheats with another woman thats completely acceptable as long as the other girl is hot and I get pictures/video or even get to join in at some stage

I'm sure she's be happy to watch you in a gay clinch with another bloke, and get the pictures/video etc.

[Benjamin]

Surely it would depend on whether they were in love with the person they cheated with, or whether it was just sex.

Even if it is just sex, it is still a betrayal that I cannot forgive. The trust has gone, and it is always nagging at the back of your mind.

[Ammi]

I'm sure she's be happy to watch you in a gay clinch with another bloke, and get the pictures/video etc.

:joker:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Everyone cheats, it is all about opportunity. To expect faithfulness all the time is niave at best.

You have to forgive or you have to separate, there is no middle ground.

If you think well my partner wouldnt, well lets just say, they all thought that.

[Tom]

I'm sure she's be happy to watch you in a gay clinch with another bloke, and get the pictures/video etc.

I'm allowed to in the same situation but its not gonna happen

[Ammi]

Everyone cheats, it is all about opportunity. To expect faithfulness all the time is niave at best.

You have to forgive or you have to separate, there is no middle ground.

If you think well my partner wouldnt, well lets just say, they all thought that.

I agree there is no middle ground but I think lots of people who have been cheated on think they have forgiven but they actually haven't because they don't trust the person anymore - and yes you can never say 'they woudn't' I dont think everyone does though but I think most people have the opportunity if they want to

[Benjamin]

I'm allowed to in the same situation but its not gonna happen

Don't tell simonsays that :tongue:

[Niamh.]

Everyone cheats, it is all about opportunity. To expect faithfulness all the time is niave at best.

You have to forgive or you have to separate, there is no middle ground.

If you think well my partner wouldnt, well lets just say, they all thought that.

eh no they don't

[Crimson Dynamo]

I agree there is no middle ground but I think lots of people who have been cheated on think they have forgiven but they actually haven't because they don't trust the person anymore - and yes you can never say 'they woudn't' I dont think everyone does though but I think most people have the opportunity if they want to

People dont trust anyway. No one in their right mind sets off in a relationship and does not have a feeling in their mind that the potential is there. It manifests in

worries about being late from night out

phone text checking

email checking

worries about work colleagues

worries about nights away with work

and so on

[Crimson Dynamo]

eh no they don't

its all about discovery and opportunity

maybe you have met neither yet

[Niamh.]

its all about discovery and opportunity

maybe you have met neither yet

:sleep: don't judge everyone by your low standards

[Crimson Dynamo]

:sleep: don't judge everyone by your low standards

reality is a friend of mine


fear is your friend..

[Niamh.]

reality is a friend of mine


fear is your friend..

I have no fear in my relationship thank you very much, I trust my husband 100%

[Benjamin]

its all about discovery and opportunity

maybe you have met neither yet

I'll have you know that not everyone cheats even if the opportunity is there. I often find myself with opportunities to cheat when in a relationship, but I never do because if I am in a relationship with someone then I am with them and them only. It's called love.

I don't buy all this crap either about 'oh I was unhappy'. If the person is unhappy then end the relationship, rather than cheat and end it. So cowardly.

[Ammi]

People dont trust anyway. No one in their right mind sets off in a relationship and does not have a feeling in their mind that the potential is there. It manifests in

worries about being late from night out

phone text checking

email checking

worries about work colleagues

worries about nights away with work

and so on

Yes all of the above is down to trust and it does manifest in but its quite often just in the mind and down to your own insecurities. I have been cheated on and I did forgive because I believe that my partner loves me completely. Life is complicated and it happens and I forgave him a lot sooner than he forgave himself. But I think people do start a relationship believing it could never happen, I think you have to really otherwise 'true love' will never happen and it does exist

[Crimson Dynamo]

all about opportunity and the ability to get away with it. dont fight genes, natural selection and logic

[Ammi]

I'll have you know that not everyone cheats even if the opportunity is there. I often find myself with opportunities to cheat when in a relationship, but I never do because if I am in a relationship with someone then I am with them and them only. It's called love.

I don't buy all this crap either about 'oh I was unhappy'. If the person is unhappy then end the relationship, rather than cheat and end it. So cowardly.

exactly I agree with LT that most people have the opportunity but not everyone acts on it - that is a choice you make. But it I also think you can forgive - it depends on the circumstances and whether you and your partners love can survive it

[Ammi]

all about opportunity and the ability to get away with it. dont fight genes, natural selection and logic

If it was only opportunity I would have left a trail of affairs - I have never wanted to

[Crimson Dynamo]

If it was only opportunity I would have left a trail of affairs - I have never wanted to

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

[Benjamin]

all about opportunity and the ability to get away with it. dont fight genes, natural selection and logic

You have a very pessimistic view on love. If what yu were saying was true, I should have cheated many times, yet I never have.

[Benjamin]

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

Or maybe not all of us want to cheat and actually love and respect the people we are with :wink:

[Ammi]

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

Well George Clooney's not text yet if thats what you mean

[Niamh.]

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

not ideal? how is cheating on someone ever ideal?

[Niamh.]

Well George Clooney's not text yet if thats what you mean

:laugh2:

[Captain.Remy]

Once trust is gone, I'm done. No second chance.

[Ammi]

Once trust is gone, I'm done. No second chance.

Thats what I used to say...................

[Iceman]

I have and it worked out for a while but then I got paranoid that she was cheating so we broke up, we are weird though we tend to find our way back to each other every few months........

[Crimson Dynamo]

lol at all the idealists

lets hope you never find out

[MissKittyFantastico]

Once the trust is gone, the love is gone, for me anyway.

[Tom]

Don't tell simonsays that :tongue:

I'm not a fan of beastiality

[Captain.Remy]

Thats what I used to say...................

Hard luck for you mate. I never gave a second chance to anyone. You screw me up once, you'll never do it again, you have to face the consequences for your actions and realize how you can loose relationships based on these actions.

[Tom4784]

I've been cheated on before, I let it go though it was a drunken mistake on her part and I thought it would be a waste of a relationship to end it because of that. I'd have ended it if she found someone else though, there's no point carrying on if that happens. I can forgive mistakes but I'm not gonna continue a relationship if there's feelings or love involved though as relationships can't survive that really I don't think. I don't really get angry at cheating though, I've accepted that people make mistakes. What's important to me is that they learn from them.

Of course what works for me might not work for others and vice versa.

[Tom]

Hard luck for you mate. I never have a second chance to anyone. You screw me up once, you'll never do it again, you have to face the consequences for your actions and realize how you can loose relationships based on these actions.

I'd normally agree with this but I cheated ages ago and she forgave me (I think) and we're actually together through cheating in the first place :joker: so yeah it would all just be a bit rich if one of us took the moral high ground, although another time and it would be it

I think it all depends on the situaton

I'd be pretty damn p*ssed off if she did though, but thats if it even lasts much longer anyway (unlikely)

[Angus]

I'm an all or nothing kind of person - if a guy cheated on me, he was gone - no second chance.

[Mr XcX]

No one would EVER CHEAT ON ME!

[Kerry]

After nearly 17 years, if my OH cheated I'd cut his balls off

That said, he'd have been out of the door if he'd cheated on me after 17 minutes.

As has been said, after the trust has gone... Nope

[Crimson Dynamo]

There are many levels to this

1. drunken snog

2. sexy texts only

3. one night stand

4. not drunken snog

5. brief 1 week affair

6. long affair

then you have to factor are you engaged, married, if neither how long going out and so forth

[Niamh.]

There are many levels to this

1. drunken snog

2. sexy texts only

3. one night stand

4. not drunken snog

5. brief 1 week affair

6. long affair

then you have to factor are you engaged, married, if neither how long going out and so forth

Number 5 and 6 would be completely unforgivable for me anyway. The others I really couldn't tell unless they happened

[30stone]

I wouldnt forgive or forget.
It would be the end with no going back.

I despise cheating, and i know id never do it, its just selfish and destructive.

Happily it hasnt happened to me before to my knowledge lol.

[Z]

I'd be crushed, personally. I couldn't trust them again and I'd end it. I wouldn't hate them, I'd just want nothing to do with them.

[Stacey.]

I'd forgive and give them another chance.

[Beastie]

Mmm if your partner cheats on you.. I think.. why not you choose a random hot man/woman or whoever to shag for the night.

Then after that you and your partner are both even.

Or.. just leave him/her.

[Beastie]

There are many levels to this

1. drunken snog

2. sexy texts only

3. one night stand

4. not drunken snog

5. brief 1 week affair

6. long affair

then you have to factor are you engaged, married, if neither how long going out and so forth

Mmm the first 2 I might forgive FIRST time round. The other 4.. that's it.. it would end I think.

[Niall]

I think I could forgive them. I don't believe in holding grudges or anything so if he shows he is truly sorry to me, then I think we could work things out.

[Beastie]

I think I could forgive them. I don't believe in holding grudges or anything so if he shows he is truly sorry to me, then I think we could work things out.

Mmm If my bf cheated on me then I think I would still want to remain friends with him but not be his girlfriend.

[Niall]

Mmm If my bf cheated on me then I think I would still want to remain friends with him but not be his girlfriend.

Cool. I'm a bit naive I guess seeing as I've never been in a relationship lol. :/

[Mystic Mock]

if i had a girlfriend and she cheated on me i would never forgive her.

[GiRTh]

I'm not a very forgiving person so I dont think I'd be able to get over it. We may get back together but it would never be the same.