How to cope with death in your life.

[Z]

I'm sure we've all had our fair share of death being in our lives, I was just wondering how you all coped individually with a family member dying. I think that after losing my brother it made me a better person in that I learned how to grieve over a huge thing early in my life. It's terrible to see grown men just crumple, so I think I'm grateful that my sister told me to get it out of the way while he had just died.

Before anyone asks why I made this topic; an online friend of mine, her boyfriend died a couple of days ago, and so I was giving her advice on how to cope and figured I'd ask everyone here.

[Siouxsie]

well a good friend of my husbands and mine was killed on his motorbike not long ago it was pretty awful as he was a young goodlooking lad with everything going for him. Guess life goes on but you never stop thinking about death. Sorry to hear about your brother :sad:

[Ruth]

Ziola I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I lost some people I was very close to last year, but to be honest my feelings about it are so personal that I don't really want to say any more. I'm not a great talker when it comes to things like that.

[Dan_]

I've had quite a lot of people I know die,ranging from teachers to close family members and the grieving process is obviously different with regards to how close you were to the person. The one's that have hit me hardest were my grandad dying when I was about 9 but then I don't really remember how I coped with that but the other two when one of my friends died a couple of years ago and my nan at the end of last year I was upset at first but I tried to put into the back of my mind and fully concentrate on other thing's such as sport and work and it helped to keep my mind off the loss, thing's always get better in time.

[BigSister]

Ive hardly known anyone who have died to me close*touches wood* but when my great uncle died last year i was quite upset but as the year has gone on I have learnt not to let it hurt me but when a girl in my year died last year it was very hard not because I didnt know her but because of the shock of it. I think when my grandad or grandma die though I will be really upset and I dont know what I would do

[sol]

My half-brother was killed in a car accident in 1996, at the time I was only 7 and I had only ever seen him once because he lived all the way up in Nottingham, and there was a huge age gap, he was 16 when I was born! so there wasnt a strong bond if you know what I mean, but it certainly affected my mum a lot and it took her a good year for her to grieve properly. Even now there are 'no-go' areas where conversation rarely wanders, which often end in rows. The thing that I learnt from it all is that time is a great healer. :thumbs:
What BB Fernzy said was right, sport and work take your mind off the matter, you just have to get on with your life really. Things like holidays help a lot too.

[Z]

Originally posted by sol
My half-brother was killed in a car accident in 1996, at the time I was only 7 and I had only ever seen him once because he lived all the way up in Nottingham, and there was a huge age gap, he was 16 when I was born! so there wasnt a strong bond if you know what I mean, but it certainly affected my mum a lot and it took her a good year for her to grieve properly. Even now there are 'no-go' areas where conversation rarely wanders, which often end in rows. The thing that I learnt from it all is that time is a great healer. :thumbs:
What BB Fernzy said was right, sport and work take your mind off the matter, you just have to get on with your life really. Things like holidays help a lot too.

Similar situation as to the one I was in, only I was even younger than you were when your half brother died.

[Corkie]

sorry to hear about everyone whos lost someone

well i havent really lost anyone close the only two i can think of his when i was visting my dad in ireland two years back we had the shock annousment that my great auntie had passed away during the night she said she had a headache to her husband and was taking to hospital she passed away. it was very sad as te corcoran family are very close in ireland so everyone was so upset so we wnet to the frunerel and my grandma was very upset it made me quite sad to see my grandma who i always though as a really though women cry but it was a sister so she was very upset.. (i didnt know my great aunite but she seemed like a nice women)

another one is when i was in reception we had people called buddies in my year who were in year 6 one girl who was a buddy to one of my friends died on mangetise (i cant spell it) but she was only bout my age and we always see her parents at christmas eve and you can tell there thinking of her

anyway i havent had anyone close to me and hopefully i wont

[Razmataz]

Sorry about the losses suffered by everyone.

Now repressing memories of death is by far the hardest thing to store at the back of your mind.
I find myself doing it everytime my grandad is mentioned or everytime i go down the road my best mate was run over on, but all i did was thought of the good times, remember when we did this etc.

I think personally the best way to grieve is to cry, get out all that emotion in one good burst. But im guessing that either when the shock is announced to you...or at the funeral.

I know for a fact people don't believe in life after death, i do.
Reason: Because the memory of the person who has died is still in your mind and is never forgotton so they live on inside the spirit of your memories.

I hope your friend will be ok Greg...and that during the time of passing the wounds slowly start to heal.
Everyone has a different experiance of death, i'm grateful for the way i was with my best mate when he got run over and i was able to say goodbye to him.
And keep her reasurred the person who died isn't in pain anymore.

[Sunny_01]

I was so sorry to hear about the losses that you have all suffered, I have lost several close friends and family members myself, I dont think their is any reciepe for recovery and no one way of dealing with your feelings.

The death of someone close to you can cause a whole range of reactions, and you can find yourself dealing with every emotion under the sun. It's horrible and unfortunately it happens to everyone who is lucky enough to have friends and family.

It's a difficult time to go through, but you don't have to do it alone. Needing help is normal, and if you get it now you'll be a lot better off.

When someone close to you dies, it's totally normal and natural to feel a whole range of overwhelming or confusing emotions

Don't hold your feelings back - even if, sometimes, they take you by surprise. It's healthier to allow yourself to grieve than to hold it in.

There's no right or wrong way to react to the death of a loved one - for each person it's different.

Remember that there's no time limit on grief - it's okay to get over your loss at your own pace. It takes some people several months and others a few years. What's definite is that, in time, your grief will lessen.

Talk to someone you trust about how you feel. Sharing your thoughts and feelings about the person you lost will help you to grieve.

Go on living. Your loved one, friend whoever you have lost, would not have wanted to you go into self-destruct mode, lock yourself away from the world or hide your feelings.

The greatest thing you can do for them is to live the life they would have wanted you to have!