Stealing someones girlfriend/boyfriend- immoral or survival of the fittest?

[Tom]

Something that has been annoying me for a bit, is it immoral to steal someone elses partner or is it just bad luck? Should you follow head or heart?

[Tom4784]

I think that if someone's in a position where they can be 'stolen' then the relationship they're currently in is pretty much dead in the water without any outside influence.

[Locke.]

My opinion changed on it when I was sort of part of it.

Went from 'immoral' to 'survival of the fittest'

[Princess]

I don't think anyone should cheat,I think if you're in a relationship and you want to be someone else,then break up with the person you're with. A lot easier said than done a lot of the time,I know.

[Pyramid*]

You can't steal someone who doesn't want to be 'stolen'.

[Niamh.]

I think it's immoral but obviously the boyfriend/Girlfriend is much more immoral. Though anyone who gets a stolen partner will most likely suffer the same fate in the future........

[Pyramid*]

I don't think anyone should cheat,I think if you're in a relationship and you want to be someone else,then break up with the person you're with.

Totally agree. Never have been able to fathom this out or understand.... if they ever cared for the person at all.... why hurt them by cheating - just break it off then do whatever you want with whomever you want.

Completely baffles me, it really does.

[Pyramid*]

I think it's immoral but obviously the boyfriend/Girlfriend is much more immoral. Though anyone who gets a stolen partner will most likely suffer the same fate in the future........

Always be wary of that, I agree. If the 'partner' can cheat on their other 'partner' to be with you, they have the ability to do exactly the same to you....

[Novo]

Hate it when people say " I'd never do that it's wrong " you'll never know if you would or wouldn't until your in that position.. likely most people would

[Jords]

Immoral.

What the **** does it have with survival of the fittest? Bloody hell.

[Niamh.]

Hate it when people say " I'd never do that it's wrong " you'll never know if you would or wouldn't until your in that position.. likely most people would

I think people know their own personalities/morals to be well able to answer this Andy.

[Tom]

Hate it when people say " I'd never do that it's wrong " you'll never know if you would or wouldn't until your in that position.. likely most people would

I'm kind of leaning towards knowing its wrong but I'll probably do it anyway. In the situation atm, did mean to put it in general chat but oh well, and just unsure if to back off or go for it. Makes it a bit worse that I know him & get on dead well but thats life

[Shasown]

You can't steal someone who doesn't want to be 'stolen'.

Yeah you can but you may need Rohypnol and a vehicle to transport them in. If you cant obtain rohypnol a 16 oz ball pein hammer is a more than satisfactory alternative.

[Stacey.]

You should always follow your heart, cus that's what you want. And you should go for it, you don't know how it could turn it until you go for it, and if it's what you want then you should.

[Niamh.]

I'm kind of leaning towards knowing its wrong but I'll probably do it anyway. In the situation atm, did mean to put it in general chat but oh well, and just unsure if to back off or go for it. Makes it a bit worse that I know him & get on dead well but thats life

I thought you have a pregnant girlfriend?:conf: and the fact that your friends with the guy is even more wrong:nono:

[Pyramid*]

Hate it when people say " I'd never do that it's wrong " you'll never know if you would or wouldn't until your in that position.. likely most people would

Speak for yourself and not 'most people'. People are individuals and have their own morals, they know their own self more than you.

Anyone who's been on the receiving end of cheating knows how terrible it is: and I for one have and would never put anyone I had ever cared for, through that. It's selfishness personified.

[Tom]

I thought you have a pregnant girlfriend?:conf: and the fact that your friends with the guy is even more wrong:nono:

no and no. not going into detail though but its not Jeremy Kyle-ish.

[Jack_]

Good question. I guess it sorta all boils down to who likes/loves the person more [i.e if the person you're stealing from is totally in love with the person, but you just like them or vice versa], in which case if you think you like them less than the other person you should probably do the moral thing and leave them to it, but again gauging something like that would be extremely difficult. And if it did turn out that you were both totally in love with the person then it makes matters a whole lot worse I suppose. So I'm torn. Half of me says it's immoral, the other half says some things really are just too hard to resist...

[Niamh.]

You should always follow your heart, cus that's what you want. And you should go for it, you don't know how it could turn it until you go for it, and if it's what you want then you should.

saying you're following your heart is just another word for being selfish.

[Niamh.]

no and no. not going into detail though but its not Jeremy Kyle-ish.

oh, sorry, i could have sworn you made a thread a few weeks back saying your g/f was pregnant

[Pyramid*]

saying you're following your heart is just another word for being selfish.

I think those who 'follow their heart' find out that what their heart said, find it lasts a few months until they decide to 'follow their heart' again.

[Stacey.]

saying you're following your heart is just another word for being selfish.

Not really.. if you didn't ever follow your heart you'd never do exactly what you wanted. If that means being selfish then whatever.. everything you do should be for yourself.

[Tom4784]

I suppose it depends on what your definition of 'stealing' someone is, do you consider it cheating on someone or leaving your partner for someone else or both? You can't help it if you fall for someone but you can help yourself cheating. If it was me I'd just break up with the person I'm with before anything happened as if I was looking it would obviously mean I'm not happy. It'd be less of a headache then cheating.

[Mr XcX]

Survival of the fittest.

[Novo]

I'm kind of leaning towards knowing its wrong but I'll probably do it anyway. In the situation atm, did mean to put it in general chat but oh well, and just unsure if to back off or go for it. Makes it a bit worse that I know him & get on dead well but thats life

Yeah same, if you like someone you can't really do much about it.. it's not like you can turn a button off and that's that.. if it's wrong then so be it

[Tom4784]

saying you're following your heart is just another word for being selfish.

It's better to be selfish and happy then to be sad and stuck in a doomed relationship since you're preventing your partner from finding someone better too.

[Niamh.]

Not really.. if you didn't ever follow your heart you'd never do exactly what you wanted. If that means being selfish then whatever.. everything you do should be for yourself.

It's selfishness simple as, if you ever want to have any sort of meaningful relationships you have to take other people into account as well. What sort of a person would you be stealing anyway if he's prepared to drop is wife/g/f for someone else? What would make you think he wouldn't do the same to you when someone new flutters their eyelashes at him?

[Niamh.]

It's better to be selfish and happy then to be sad and stuck in a doomed relationship since you're preventing your partner from finding someone better too.

If you're in a doomed relationship though you should just split up, why do you need to be stolen?

[Beastie]

Something that has been annoying me for a bit, is it immoral to steal someone elses partner or is it just bad luck? Should you follow head or heart?

Follow your heart. However I would never go out of my way to "steal" someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. Love for me just naturally tends to come. I don't believe in "fighting" for love. If your love with another person is going to break apart then it just is. You can't control it. I do agree you need to "fight" for love more if you are like married but then there should be a breaking point when enough is enough! << Whether in a relationship or marriage but yeah you should work harder at a marriage! :)

[Beastie]

I don't think anyone should cheat,I think if you're in a relationship and you want to be someone else,then break up with the person you're with. A lot easier said than done a lot of the time,I know.

True. Usually most people then may have made the wrong choice. I do think if you have been or are in a long term relationship/marriage you may end up liking someone else. Most of the time them feelings just go. If not then avoid that person.

[cub]

This ugly camp bloke flirted outrageously with my ex it was a joke. Sadly, my ex couldn't resist and did it with him anyway. I was heartbroken. Not only because of the obvious but that the flirt was such an alcoholic, spotty dog anyway. My revenge came when I learned he'd given my ex an STD.

[Beastie]

You can't steal someone who doesn't want to be 'stolen'.

True. It is there own silly fault for cheating in the first place!! You can't just blame the other person "for stealing them". I think there are a few horrible people out there who do have time on their hands and want to split up a relationship because they like the boy/girl. This is a minority and if they are successful with their mission it is still the boy or girl who cheated fault as well! Once you are in a relationship you can't control whether that person will cheat or not. Might as well give them the benefit of the doubt. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Plus there are plenty other fish in the sea. << Well maybe not if you are in your 30's/40's and you are single and want marriage and kids then. It would probably be harder to find a man/woman then! Mmm?

[Tom4784]

If you're in a doomed relationship though you should just split up, why do you need to be stolen?

Maybe you're staying together for the kids or for the benefit opf having someone there? There's plenty of reasons why people stay together but if people have a chance to be happy they should take it as staying together in a doomed relationship just makes all involved unhappy.

[Beastie]

I think it's immoral but obviously the boyfriend/Girlfriend is much more immoral. Though anyone who gets a stolen partner will most likely suffer the same fate in the future........

Hopefully. I love Karma :love:

[Niamh.]

Maybe you're staying together for the kids or for the benefit opf having someone there? There's plenty of reasons why people stay together but if people have a chance to be happy they should take it as staying together in a doomed relationship just makes all involved unhappy.

But the thing about it is, is that alot of the time the partner is completely unaware that there is anything wrong at all, I know this from experience btw(not my own) And I just think anyone who goes chasing someone who has a partner or a partner and kids is just well out of order and immoral.

[Tom4784]

But the thing about it is, is that alot of the time the partner is completely unaware that there is anything wrong at all, I know this from experience btw(not my own) And I just think anyone who goes chasing someone who has a partner or a partner and kids is just well out of order and immoral.

But if one person's unhappy then that'll pollute the relationship and the family. Sometimes breaking up is the best thing for parents as they can become happier which'll lead to a better atmosphere for the kids.

[Pyramid*]

True. It is there own silly fault for cheating in the first place!! You can't just blame the other person "for stealing them". I think there are a few horrible people out there who do have time on their hands and want to split up a relationship because they like the boy/girl. This is a minority and if they are successful with their mission it is still the boy or girl who cheated fault as well! Once you are in a relationship you can't control whether that person will cheat or not. Might as well give them the benefit of the doubt. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Plus there are plenty other fish in the sea. << Well maybe not if you are in your 30's/40's and you are single and want marriage and kids then. It would probably be harder to find a man/woman then! Mmm?

First part, totally true. Second part not so true! Plenty of fish out there!

But as you say, there's no need to cheat in the first place. Cheating is a way of 'try before you buy'..... with the 'one being cheated on' being used as a safety net in case the 'affair' doesn't work out.

It will still hurt the person, but if they loved you, they wouldn't want you to be in a relationship (even with you) if it made them unhappy.

Absolutely no need for it. End the current relationship and then move on - don't do it whilst you are in a relationship. Simple!

[Legend killer]

It's a dog eat dog world

[Jack_]

I suppose it depends on what your definition of 'stealing' someone is, do you consider it cheating on someone or leaving your partner for someone else or both? You can't help it if you fall for someone but you can help yourself cheating. If it was me I'd just break up with the person I'm with before anything happened as if I was looking it would obviously mean I'm not happy. It'd be less of a headache then cheating.

'Stealing' in this context to me means taking another person's partner off them, but without any cheating. So basically someone I like ends their relationship with their partner to be with me.

[Tom4784]

'Stealing' in this context to me means taking another person's partner off them, but without any cheating. So basically someone I like ends their relationship with their partner to be with me.

That's the context I've been thinking about it in.

I think that's fine, you can't stay with someone you no longer like and a quick break up now is better then a messier one later when you have responsibilities. It's probably Immoral to cheat and I wouldn't myself but I'm not about to judge others by my set of standards either.

[Boothy]

Nah, I'd never make a girl end a relationship with my mate so that she could enter a relationship with me. And their are two main reasons why:

- If a girl was willing to leave my best mate for me, who's to say she won't leave me for another guy later down the line?

- The relationship I have with my mates is not worth sacrificing for a girl. Not any girl. Barney Stinson says it best - Bros before hoes.

However, if my mate and said girl had already split up, I really liked this girl and my mate was 100% cool with it, then I'd consider being with her.

[Shasown]

Something that has been annoying me for a bit, is it immoral to steal someone elses partner or is it just bad luck? Should you follow head or heart?

What are you going to do about the pregnant girlfriend? Or have you already binned her?

[Judas]

It depends, I think it is fine if it isn't just lust and you both actually feel some meaningfull. (That makes me sound really boring... but I'm sure you can judge how far lust alone should be taken :P). I don't think it is stealing or survival of the fittest, if you both think getting together is right then go for it, even though the other bloke will get hurt for abit.

[Shaun]

please don't confuse "being a pussy" with Darwinism.

[Tom]

What are you going to do about the pregnant girlfriend? Or have you already binned her?

Shes no longer either.

[LemonJam]

Depends on the situation.

[Rob]

completely depends on the situation i think, if the boy/girl is willing to be stolen then it shows they are not 100% happy in their relationship and it would probably go wrong at some point anyhow.

[Shasown]

Shes no longer either.

Sorry to hear that. Can be a bit of a gut wrencher that.

Make sure you arent acting slightly irrationally as a result of any baggage from that though.

[Niamh.]

But if one person's unhappy then that'll pollute the relationship and the family. Sometimes breaking up is the best thing for parents as they can become happier which'll lead to a better atmosphere for the kids.

Yes, I understand that but being stolen away by someone else is not a good way to go about it and from what I've seen alot of the time people only decide they're unhappy when a new option comes on the scene, they usually regret it after when they realise that the love they thought they were missing was actually plain old lust!

[BB_Eye]

I wouldn't steal anybody else's partner and that's purely self-interest talking. I don't like the idea of living out a soap opera cliche and the chances are somebody who can lie to their own partner compulsively is not worth my time.

[Niall]

I agree with Dezzy. Why keep yourself and your partner unhappy if you both stay together but don't love each other? Its silly.

I would like to think that if I was ever in that situation then my other half would have the kindness to let us part ways with dignity rather then having to stay in a dead-end relationship forever.

[\PJ/]

Lust for another person can destroy a relationship.

[bananarama]

Stealing another is I am afraid typically survival of the fittest.....The most capable........Morality is only a perception created by individuals with differing opinion as to right and wrong or eminating from some religious doctrine.........Morality only exists as a perception in the mind and does not really exist......

Survival of the fittest does exist that;s the whole ruthless aspect of nature in all its gory detail.....

[Beastie]

Shes no longer either.

Your ex girlfriend had a miscarriage? :shocked: Ouch. And you was getting revved up to be a daddy!!

[Beastie]

Lust for another person can destroy a relationship.

This. Unless you keep them feelings to yourself! Because more times than likely the long term relationship you are in is better than the lustful feelings you have for another person.