A Christmas Story.. by... TIBB Members!

[fruit_cake]

please complete the story, just one or two sentences at a time!!!


Once upon a time, long long ago.. a fair haired girl looked dreamily out of her frosty snow laden bedroom window... She was clutching an small old black and white photograph that had by now frayed at the edges after years of being held in her often somewhat sweaty and dirty hands..

In the distance, a small group of carol singers could be heard but it was now dark outside and the sound was softened almost into melody by the cold evening breeze..

there she sat on her knees saying to herself again and again sobbing..

'oh why, oh why did I have to end up living here... it wasn't my fault!',

when suddenly...

[Miss Ivy Balls]

Vicky barged in with a 12 inch trap on.

[fruit_cake]

'how dare you not be in bed yet.. you'll have no supper tonight! none I tell you! It's all going to be fed to the hounds young lady..' I can't have anyone telling me how to run my house, oh no! good grief.. staying up so late, well I never!

Vicky grabbed the photo out her hand and tore it into three peices, and angrily clasped her hands together.. Just you wait till Mr Thomas hears about this!

By now the carol singers had reached next door.. one of them, a tall young handsome looking man who's face was partly hidden by a dark tweed cloak protecting him from the cold looked up and saw Lucy as she peared out of the window.. He appeared to notice her distress and nervously smiled at her..

'I have to do something.. its now or never!' Lucy said to herself.. She knocked on the window but by now he had focused his gaze elsewhere and appeared not to see her. By now Ms Vicky had left the room.. 'I must escape' Lucy said to herself.. She noticed that one of the bolts securing the window had come loose..

[Miss Ivy Balls]

Lucy gave up and smashed the window using her simonsays lamp.

As Lucy heard Ms Vicky's footsteps on the stairs, Lucy shouted out to the carol singers who ran across Josy's garden and stood in a circle.

The carol singers shouted, 'jump, you can do it! Jump'.

Lucy had very little time as Ms Vicky slung the door open.....

[Benjamin]

She decided to brave the jump and lept out from the window just before Vicky's hands could grab her hair.

She landed in the snow covered ground below with a thud, but luckily nothing seemed to be broken. She looked back up to the window and could hear Vicky screeching something in a high pitched banshee voice.

She trembled a little. This was scary. Lucy finally came to her senses and made a run for it across the garden. But then she stopped. The carol singers, where had the carol singers gone? She turned to see and saw that a Horrid Turtle had captured them...

[Ammi]

'Thank God for that' she thought 'I hate those bl**dy carols'.
She turned her glance toward the Turtle, who was clasping a signed photograph of Lord Sugar to his breast...............

[Ammi]

'This situation is serious' gasped Lucy 'I will need help to defeat the Monstrous Turtle'. There was only one person she could think of that she could ask for advice. The Iceman would know what to do. But no one knew exactly where he lived. She had heard stories that he lived somewhere in Happyland, but to get there she would have to go through the dangerous Forest of Ivy Balls. She would seek out the wise Kazanne and ask for help, Kazanne always knew the answer

[fruit_cake]

Lucy was cold and tired, but she set off in search of Happyland trudging through the thick winter snow.. where must the Wizard Kazanne be? 'I can't remember what he looked like.. and now Ms Vicky has torn up my only photo of him' she sobbed..

the dangerous Forest of Ivy Balls loomed menacingly in the distance.. when all of a sudden the sound of a disco filled the air, and a man's singing voice could be heared, carried by the wind... she thought about the handsome man who had looked at her through the window.. who could it possibly be??? Could it possibly be...

[Ammi]

.......surely it can't be the legendary Disco Stu. Lucy had hear stories of him, of course, hadn't everyone, but she always assumed he was just a myth. The disco music was getting louder, suddenly she saw shadow appear from behind the Ivy Balls

[Benjamin]

She froze, terrified of who it could be. But suddenly she saw. It wasn't Disco Stu but instead the Siamese Twins Jordan & Stacey. They had been rumoured to be taking shelter in The Ivy balls.

'Good evening' they said in unison 'welcome to our territory, have you come for our party?'

Lucy looked at them and said nothing at first...

[Josy]

Then she slowly turned around and ran away from them as fast as her legs would carry her...

[Mr XcX]

fat ass, she then saw to her horror Scott. He smiled and said.

[Josy]

Forever alone :bawling:

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

:mad:

[Ammi]

'Ooo Party' cried Lucy, suddenly distracted from her quest to save the carol singers from the vile and monsterous Turtle. As she looked at the twins she saw something in they're eyes, something almost - what? sinister?
'What sort of party' she asked nervously.
The twins smiled, a smile that showed teeth yellow and rotting
'It's a special party' sneered Stacey 'And you Lucy are the guest of honour'
Lucy froze

[Benjamin]

The siamese Twins smiled menacingly, and from behind her Lucy felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder. She tried to scream but no sound would come out. She was thrown to the floor and landed with a thud. She looked up, dazed, and saw an evil looking man dressed as Santa. She recognised this man instantly, she had been warned about him and his evil powers. It was non other than...

[Ammi]

The Great Arista the Grey, who had returned from his freelance reporting for the Daily Mail against the countries revolting students.
'Don't be afraid Lucy' he said gently 'I am here to help you'
Lucy looked up into his face and saw that it was not in fact an evil face but that of a kind and wise man.
'I have heard of your quest' said Arista 'and I know what you must do'
'but first' he continued 'we must seek out Novo, who will know just how to turn that Turtle into soup'
Just as they stepped forward there was a loud crashing noise

[Benjamin]

The Siamese twins (Stacey and Jordan), Arista and Lucy all turned to the direction it came from.

'Oh no, he's here!' cried the twins, 'it's the evil Ogre of Ivy Balls, Thomas C'.

'Follow me, quickly, all of you' boomed Arista. With that The twins and Lucy rushed after him as the crashing became louder and closer...

[Z]

Suddenly, a goose farted

[Shaun]

"Omg that smells" cried the wombat, before jumping in a fire.

[Z]

"What a palaver!" wailed Samantha Mumba. She then crossed the bridge and fell into the fire.

[Ammi]

Suddenly out of the mist appeared a huge half ogre-half man creature with black flashing eyes and flame red hair. His mouth was cruel and two huge fangs protruded at each side. From his fangs horrible yellow-white slime dripped to the ground.
'Yum' said the grotesque creature 'that chicken soup was good'
As if noticing them for the first time he turned his gaze to Stacey, Jordan, Arista and Lucy.
'What are you doing in my Ivy Balls Forest' he boomed
'You are not welcome here'
Thinking quickly Lucy said 'Please Miss Ogre, we have brought you a gift'
From behind her she dragged out a screaming, writhing creature
'Stop wriggling Scott' said Lucy 'Just go along with everything I say'
She held the creature up so the ogre could see it.
'OOOh a new pet' shouted the ogre

[Mr XcX]

Suddenly WOMBAI appeared!!

This BITCH looked Ice cold thought Lucy.

WOMBAI pulled a gun out and killed...

[Benjamin]

The evil Ogre!

Down he fell onto the ground, while an amazed Lucy, twins and Arista stood watching. She looked at them then walked off into the darkness.

'Well', said Arista breaking the silence, 'lets continue on our journey to Happyland to find Novo the Great Warrior and Kazanne. They will help us locate Iceman.

He turned to the twins and knew that they would be coming on this little quest. 'Right if you two are joining us, no talk of Cher or fat people please'.

He then turned back to Lucy. 'You ready to continue' he asked in a calming voice.

'I am, I have to do this, or else I fear Vicky and Turtle will ruin Christmas forever' she replied, not quite sure if she believed that she had the courage to do this.

'Right then we go through here', Arista was now pointing to a huge Ivy ball tree, and what appeared to be a door...

[Z]

The door led to Perez Hilton's computer! arista wrote a bitchy blog post about Tyra Banks. Then...

[Shaun]

Tyra Banks found out about it, and joined TiBB. She posted in Meet the Members once, where Stacey claimed she didn't exist. Tyra called Stacey a "disgusting little bitch" and told her to "learn from this".

She then logged off and never returned.

[Z]

Angelica Bell moans on the throne when she's all alone. What did Michael Ballack think of this?

[Shaun]

Nothing, he was paraplegic.

So Andrea Turner fell down the stairs.

[Z]

Felipe Massa, fortunately, was driving through her house and caught her as she fell, saving her from certain death. Andrea and Felipe drove for miles but got stuck in traffic behind Vanessa Carlton's piano and *mazedsalv**. Suddenly, Jordan. yawned

[Shaun]

He was bored because he'd just watched the entire second season of 'Primeval', only with a bucket of salted popcorn and Richard Madeley for company. He decided to jump in the car with Felipe and Andrea, only for MeMyselfandI to copy his decision and tag along.

They crashed into the Thames.

[Z]

Luckily, a miracle occurred (ohay Jesus!) and the Thames parted like the Red Sea (ohay Moses!) so they all survived! Then a shark ate Andrea Turner. Felipe, MM&I and Jordan hurriedly drove to the other side of the parted Thames river and scrambled up the ladder. They grabbed a taxi to Bermondsey, and met up with Mariella Frostrup, who provided them with gold, myrrh and RED HOT SEX. Mariella literally did anything they asked her to, but things took a turn for the worse when Jordan asked for...

[Shaun]

frankincense.

"Hahahahaha why do you want a robotic monster created by Mary Shelley?" MeMyselfandI chortled, before she was rudely interrupted by a low-flying bald eagle, who tore Felipe's head off.

Mariella looked around in a panic - she chose to run after...

[Shaun]

frankincense.

"Hahahahaha why do you want a robotic monster created by Mary Shelley?" MeMyselfandI chortled, before she was rudely interrupted by a low-flying bald eagle, who tore Felipe's head off.

Mariella looked around in a panic - she chose to run after...

[Z]

Mel C. Mariella and Mel C rushed back to Mel's place and had wild lesbian sex. Unfortunately, they were interrupted by...

[Shaun]

a gazelle dressed up as Alice Cooper/Alice Cooper dressed up as a gazelle - Mel C wasn't sure but she didn't let the confusion stop her from recarpeting Mariella's walls.

Meanwhile, Jordan and MeMyselfandI were hitchhiking for a lift back to Chat and Games when a very generous ukturtle pulled over...

[Z]

To laugh at them. He drove off without looking back at them. The miserable pair kept walking towards C&G. They eventually reached the Sports section, where a kindly looking 30stone ushered them in for a place to stay. They looked relieved and fell asleep shortly. When they woke, they realised they were prisoners of the Sports board...

[Shaun]

"Quick, wake up!" Jordan nudged MMAI, and directed his attention to alc09 and bbfan1991 doing bench presses.
"We have to get out, I need to criticise Shaun's music taste!" MMAI whined, before he was punched in the face by bigsister's Football Fantasy League users.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" 30stone's disembodied voice boomed, "YOU'RE MY PRISONERS. [REASON WHY HERE]."
"Oh my god, he's talking in square brackets, how vile" Jordan :bored:ed, before pressing a button on his watch that sent a radar signal to Stacey., Jack_ and, unfathomably, Sylvester Stallone...

[Z]

Sylvester, Stacey and Jack swooped down across TiBB on the back of a magnificent carrier pigeon that went by the name of Dezzy. The three bid it adieu before parachuting down onto TiBB. A strong wind became problematic! Stacey was blown into the Films, DVD and Video Games board, leaving Jack and Sylvester to tackle the onslaught in the Sports board. A vicious fight ensued; Jack defeated MissKittyFantastico in a brutal fight, and Sylvester broke Novo's nose. Finally, they rescued Jordan and MM&I, and scrambled back out of the Sports board. They reached the Music board, wearing festive Santa hats, at which point MM&I said his goodbyes, he/she entered the Music board on his trusty steed Leona's back (he has a horse called Leona because he's such a fan of Leona Lewis, what of it?) to track down Shaun. Jordan and Sylvester Stallone, meanwhile...

[Shaun]

were dead, because of a fire started by the friction between Vicky. and setanta.

Mariah Carey...

[Shaun]

were dead, because of a fire started by the friction between Vicky. and setanta.

Mariah Carey...

[Benjamin]

Started to sing.


Luckily The Mole put out Mariah carey and the fire but it left severe damage to the Serious debates section...

[Miss Ivy Balls]

The door led to Perez Hilton's computer! arista wrote a bitchy blog post about Tyra Banks. Then...

( STOP RUINING THE STORY!!! :mad: )

[Miss Ivy Balls]

There is nothing Christmassy about this any more, just two plonkas who have ruined a lovely thread.

[Mr XcX]

Said the troll.

WOMBAI however went on a massive rampage killing famous moderator....

[Jordan.]

I got killed off, how vile. :bored:

[Benjamin]

Marcjswp...

[Shaun]

continues to exist for unknown reasons.

Judi Dench, however, decided to nibble on...

[Benjamin]

Bettiepages earlobes...

[Z]

A giant penis shaped marshmellow. Feminists around the world were aghast.

A radiator smiled warmly...

[lily.]

( STOP RUINING THE STORY!!! :mad: )

There is nothing Christmassy about this any more, just two plonkas who have ruined a lovely thread.

How was it Christmassy in the first place, when you started it with a strap-on.. ?

[LemonJam]

There is nothing Christmassy about this any more, just two plonkas who have ruined a lovely thread.

and you're a "plonka" ruining a lovely forum.

[Shaun]

whilst the fridge looked on, coldly.

Harry. and Smithy were arguing about who was better - Elton John or Mike Posner - when the bald eagle from earlier soared in and landed on Smithy's head.
"Omg qt" said Lady GaGa, who stole his idea and passed it off as her own.
"HEY GUISE I STILL GOT IT" cried Madonna who proceeded to make out with the eagle.

[Benjamin]

How was it Christmassy in the first place, when you started it with a strap-on.. ?

Do you not have a christmas tree shaped strap on? :shocked:

You disappoint me. :nono:

[Jack_]

and you're a "plonka" ruining a lovely forum.

:laugh3:

One of the best posts made on here all year. Infact, that might be one for the signature...

[Miss Ivy Balls]

How was it Christmassy in the first place, when you started it with a strap-on.. ?

That was setting the scene.

It builds it up and gives you a feel for the character.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

and you're a "plonka" ruining a lovely forum.

:dance:

[lily.]

Marc: I do... It's 6ft long..

Thomas: If you wanted the story all to yourself, why did you post it as a game?

Jack: That was not sig-worthy. In fact, it wasn't even up to James' usual high standard.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

Marc: I do... It's 6ft long..

Thomas: If you wanted the story all to yourself, why did you post it as a game?

Jack: That was not sig-worthy. In fact, it wasn't even up to James' usual high standard.

I didn't start the thread Lily. Just lost the feel to it as it was building up nicely. Never mind. :hugesmile:

[Benjamin]

Marc: I do... It's 6ft long..

Thomas: If you wanted the story all to yourself, why did you post it as a game?

Jack: That was not sig-worthy. In fact, it wasn't even up to James' usual high standard.

I am not MARC!!!!!!!!


*beats with 6ft long Christmas tree dildo*

:)

[Z]

I didn't start the thread Lily. Just lost the feel to it as it was building up nicely. Never mind. :hugesmile:

said the badger. Joseph proceeded to slap it across the face with a Bible. Then...

[lily.]

I am not MARC!!!!!!!!


*beats with 6ft long Christmas tree dildo*

:)

FML.

All these name changes are cuntishly confusing..

[Benjamin]

FML.

All these name changes are cuntishly confusing..

LOL, tell me about it.

*my name is Benjamin*

:wink:

[lily.]

-takes a note-

[Vicky.]

This thread is ****ing hilarious now :D

Talk about the ultimate thread rape :laugh2:

[Z]

-sends fruit_cake a basket of muffins... AND A MAN EATING LIGER!! to apologise/life rape-

[fruit_cake]

Thomas is right, the thread got ruined :nono:

The main culprits are XCX, Zee, Nutcracker (Shaun?) ANIMALS, you're a bunch of ANIMALS! now get your things and sling your bloody 'ooks the fk outta my thread! cheeky buggers

OK zee I'll let you off with the muffins, don't want the Liger though you can keep that!

[Ammi]

The evil Ogre!

Down he fell onto the ground, while an amazed Lucy, twins and Arista stood watching. She looked at them then walked off into the darkness.

'Well', said Arista breaking the silence, 'lets continue on our journey to Happyland to find Novo the Great Warrior and Kazanne. They will help us locate Iceman.

He turned to the twins and knew that they would be coming on this little quest. 'Right if you two are joining us, no talk of Cher or fat people please'.

He then turned back to Lucy. 'You ready to continue' he asked in a calming voice.

'I am, I have to do this, or else I fear Vicky and Turtle will ruin Christmas forever' she replied, not quite sure if she believed that she had the courage to do this.

'Right then we go through here', Arista was now pointing to a huge Ivy ball tree, and what appeared to be a door...


.........but in fact it was not at door at all, but Malza's Magic Carpet
'Hop on' boomed Thomas C, Ogre of the Ivy Balls Forest 'I give you this carpet in return for bringing me a new pet, Scott, this carpet will carry you safely to Happyland'
Lucy, Arista and the twins jumped onto the carpet and were instantly transported up into the snow clouds and across the skies.
'Omgzz' screeched Stacey and Jordan in unison
'Life in the fast lane' said Arista
In no time at all they arrived at the outskirts of the city of Happyland.........

[Ammi]

'Look' said Lucy, 'there's a light coming from that stable'
she pointed over to a small stable where a light was burning brightly.
'You three go' said Arista 'I will go to the city and get some provisions from Asda Walmart, they have some very good things there, happy days' and off he went.
Lucy and the twins walked towards the stable. As they got near they heard the sound of arguing coming from inside.
'I wonder who is in there' whispered Lucy................

[Stephanie]

:joker: this thread is hilarious.

[Iceman]

Just as she went to check it started to snow, or so it seemed. Suddenly they all began to feel weird.... they soon realized it was not snow but cocaine, they couldnt make it to the stable in time and they all overdosed on Coke. Merry Christmas

[Shaun]

Thomas is right, the thread got ruined :nono:

The main culprits are XCX, Zee, Nutcracker (Shaun?) ANIMALS, you're a bunch of ANIMALS! now get your things and sling your bloody 'ooks the fk outta my thread! cheeky buggers

OK zee I'll let you off with the muffins, don't want the Liger though you can keep that!

bitch sit down, or I'll kill you...






...off in my next story.

[Marc]

Why is my name all over this /sob I don't get what I'm doing in the story LOL

[Benjamin]

'Look' said Lucy, 'there's a light coming from that stable'
she pointed over to a small stable where a light was burning brightly.
'You three go' said Arista 'I will go to the city and get some provisions from Asda Walmart, they have some very good things there, happy days' and off he went.
Lucy and the twins walked towards the stable. As they got near they heard the sound of arguing coming from inside.
'I wonder who is in there' whispered Lucy................


The peered through the stable doors and could see what appeared to be a Donkey shouting at someone. The twins started chuckling at the site.

'WHO IS THERE' the donkey suddenly shouted, making Lucy and the twins step back in suprise.

Lucy decided to open the barn door and enter. 'He-he-Hello' she spoke nervously, 'We didn't mean to pry, but we are on a quest to save Christmas'. The twins nervously stood behind Lucy waiting to see what would happen.

The Donkey looked at them with a smile, then he looked up behind them. They turned and saw that there was a floating pixie. 'See I told you it was true! It's them, here to save Christmas'. the Donkey said this in such a sarcstic way Lucy and the twins couldn't help but let out a small grin.

'Let me introduce ourselves' continued the donkey, 'I'm Rhino, silly name for a donkey I know, but that's my name and that there above you is Pixie Scott'...

[Ammi]

'We are looking for the wise wizard, Kazanne' said Lucy 'Do you know where she is'
Donkey Rhino looked agitated 'Well we're a bit busy here at the moment' he said 'Maybe you three could help us with a problem'
Lucy and the twins followed Donkey Rhino into the stable. Lucy looked aound and in the corner there where two people, one of which, a beautiful green elfin creature, was quite obviously very heavily pregnant.
'Hi' said the pregnant elf 'I am Ninglebells, and this is my husband Captain Remy'
'Hello' said Lucy
'We have been trying to decide what to call our baby' said Ninglebells
'Call it Cher' screamed Jordan
'And starve it, so it is a size zero' Stacey joined in excitedly.
Ninglebells looked at the twins scornfully. 'I was thinking of something more sophisticated' she said 'like say Jesus Christ'
'Meh' snorted Captain Remy 'thats a stupid name, it reminds me of a couple of Irish twits prancing about with six foot quiffs'
'I love Irish things' said Ninglebells dreamily
'What about Zeesus' said Remy 'I like the idea of Baby Zeesus'
Suddenly they where all aware of a someone else entering the stable............

[Jordan.]

'We are looking for the wise wizard, Kazanne' said Lucy 'Do you know where she is'
Donkey Rhino looked agitated 'Well we're a bit busy here at the moment' he said 'Maybe you three could help us with a problem'
Lucy and the twins followed Donkey Rhino into the stable. Lucy looked aound and in the corner there where two people, one of which, a beautiful green elfin creature, was quite obviously very heavily pregnant.
'Hi' said the pregnant elf 'I am Ninglebells, and this is my husband Captain Remy'
'Hello' said Lucy
'We have been trying to decide what to call our baby' said Ninglebells
'Call it Cher' screamed Jordan
'And starve it, so it is a size zero' Stacey joined in excitedly.
Ninglebells looked at the twins scornfully. 'I was thinking of something more sophisticated' she said 'like say Jesus Christ'
'Meh' snorted Captain Remy 'thats a stupid name, it reminds me of a couple of Irish twits prancing about with six foot quiffs'
'I love Irish things' said Ninglebells dreamily
'What about Zeesus' said Remy 'I like the idea of Baby Zeesus'
Suddenly they where all aware of a someone else entering the stable............

3 unwise men had entered the stable baring gifts for the baby.
"Who the **** are you" Screamed Ninglebells inducing her labour
Remy grabbed the gifts and threw them on the floor then grabbed one the the unwise men
"Dont hurt me. I am the unbiased educator. They call me, Legend failer" said the unwise man.
Remy beat all of them unconcious and to Ninglebells request threw them in the mod dungeon for the wicked Vicky to have her way with them.
"I think its best if we leave, its a mad house in here" declared Lucy
This infuriated Ninglebells who grabbed Lucy by the hair and threw her into a pile of sheep ****.
She then turned her sight to the twins Jordan and Stacey but decided to spare them as she felt instant love for them.
Lucy got up and pushed NingleBells who fell on top of a pig. To everyones horror Baby Zeesus had been born right then.
Donkey Rhino had had enough, he threw Lucy out of the stable by her legs then kindly asked the twins Jordan and Stacey to leave with Lucy.
"So much help you were, you ruined chirstmas i shall no longer be helping you on your quest to find wizard Kazanne" Scoffed Donkey Rhino
"We dont need your help anyway" said Pixie Scott who flipped his hair at Rhino.

It seemed Lucy and the gang were back to square one when suddenly the twins had just come up with an amazing plan, They must steal Baby Zeesus......

[Smithy]

whilst the fridge looked on, coldly.

Harry. and Smithy were arguing about who was better - Elton John or Mike Posner - when the bald eagle from earlier soared in and landed on Smithy's head.
"Omg qt" said Lady GaGa, who stole his idea and passed it off as her own.
"HEY GUISE I STILL GOT IT" cried Madonna who proceeded to make out with the eagle.

omg rofl

[Benjamin]

3 unwise men had entered the stable baring gifts for the baby.
"Who the **** are you" Screamed Ninglebells inducing her labour
Remy grabbed the gifts and threw them on the floor then grabbed one the the unwise men
"Dont hurt me. I am the unbiased educator. They call me, Legend failer" said the unwise man.
Remy beat all of them unconcious and to Ninglebells request threw them in the mod dungeon for the wicked Vicky to have her way with them.
"I think its best if we leave, its a mad house in here" declared Lucy
This infuriated Ninglebells who grabbed Lucy by the hair and threw her into a pile of sheep ****.
She then turned her sight to the twins Jordan and Stacey but decided to spare them as she felt instant love for them.
Lucy got up and pushed NingleBells who fell on top of a pig. To everyones horror Baby Zeesus had been born right then.
Donkey Rhino had had enough, he threw Lucy out of the stable by her legs then kindly asked the twins Jordan and Stacey to leave with Lucy.
"So much help you were, you ruined chirstmas i shall no longer be helping you on your quest to find wizard Kazanne" Scoffed Donkey Rhino
"We dont need your help anyway" said Pixie Scott who flipped his hair at Rhino.

It seemed Lucy and the gang were back to square one when suddenly the twins had just come up with an amazing plan, They must steal Baby Zeesus......




...and take him to the Mighty Lord of Reality, Mark. He would grant Baby Zeesus safety and protection from this cruel world.

Lucy pondered on this. They also had to find Kazanne who would lead them to the Iceman.

'Right we'll have to split into 2 groups' Lucy finally responded. 'Twins, you will take Baby Zeesus to the Mighty Lord of Reality and Pixie Scott will help you. And I will get Arsita from WalMart and find Kazanne. We'll meet back by this stable soon and hopefully be on our way to find the Iceman'.


The twins looked at each other and agreed. They had always wanted to meet the Mighty Lord of Reality and ask if he could seperate them. 'Ok', Jordan responded, 'Lets do this. But first we need to get Baby Zeesus'.

'Oh perhaps I can help?', implied Pixie Scott...

[Ammi]

'I can help you get to the Mighty Lord of Reality faster than the speed of light' continued Pixie Lott 'but you must promise to do something for me in return'
'Omg we always have to get off our a**es and do something' screeched the twins
Everyone turned to stare at them in amazement.
'Was that - no surely not' stammered Lucy. Her mind was whirling round. Now she was imagining things. Surely the twins hadn't really just just uttered a complete sentence.......no it was just the hunger affecting her mind, it was just her imagination.
Back to the story
They all turned to Pixie Lott
'I will sprinkle magic mistletoe kisses on you and you will be transported to the Wizard Kazanne's castle immediately' he said 'but you must promise that when you reach the Iceman, you will ask him for 30Stone of Mistletoe Kisses for me, as I am running short'
Pixie lot looked frustrated 'I did order some online two weeks ago, but what with this bloody snow, they havn't been delivered yet'
'We can do that' said Lucy
Pixie Lott reached into his pixie pouch and pulled out....................

[Benjamin]

... his last few Mistletoe kisses. He blew one at the twins and all of a sudden Baby Zeesus was in their arms.

'Awwwww, look how cute he is' chimed Stacey and Jordan in unison. Lucy rolled her eyes and let out a little laugh. They were so easily pleased.

'Right Lucy you take this', and he handed Lucy a Mistletoe Kiss. 'Get Arista from WalMart and then blow this kiss towards the sky, it'll take you to Wizard Kazanne. Me and the twins will meet you there when we have delived Baby Zeesus to The Mighty Lord of Reality'.


Lucy took the kiss and put it in her satchel. 'Good luck guys', she looked at the twins 'and be careful, remember the Horrid Turtle will have sent his minions out to find us'.

The twins looked at each other, and Lucy detected a sense of fear in thier eyes, but it soon disappered.

Pixie Scott blew a Mistletoe kiss and before Lucy had a chance to say goodbye, they had vanished into thin air. She sighed, and started to walk on the snow covered ground of Happyland. She hoped Arista had got all the provisions they needed from WalMart...

[Ammi]

...little known to them as they all left the stable, another evil plan was being hatched.
Donkey Rhino was sitting in the corner, completely forgotten as usual as she never said very much and preferred to pretend to be invisible 'Damn that evil, vile, horrid, ugly Turtle' she was thinking 'How come he always gets to be the villian' she sulked 'and if that wasn't bad enough, he has to write me in as a stupid donkey - I could have been a great evil sidekick'
Donkey Rhino stamped her foot furiously 'Its not all about him, I'll show him I'm no one trick donkey, not even a hundred donkeys - I will bring a field of donkeys................'
Donkey Rhino smiled now, she was thinking of Turtle, standing holding his photograph of Lord Sugar - she knew exactly what she would do..........
Meanwhile back to the Lucy, who had rescued Arista from maxing out his credit cards at Asda Walmart
'Sign of the Times' grumbled Arista.................

[Jordan.]

...little known to them as they all left the stable, another evil plan was being hatched.
Donkey Rhino was sitting in the corner, completely forgotten as usual as she never said very much and preferred to pretend to be invisible 'Damn that evil, vile, horrid, ugly Turtle' she was thinking 'How come he always gets to be the villian' she sulked 'and if that wasn't bad enough, he has to write me in as a stupid donkey - I could have been a great evil sidekick'
Donkey Rhino stamped her foot furiously 'Its not all about him, I'll show him I'm no one trick donkey, not even a hundred donkeys - I will bring a field of donkeys................'
Donkey Rhino smiled now, she was thinking of Turtle, standing holding his photograph of Lord Sugar - she knew exactly what she would do..........
Meanwhile back to the Lucy, who had rescued Arista from maxing out his credit cards at Asda Walmart
'Sign of the Times' grumbled Arista.................

As he picked up some 3 for £1 pizzas and plonked them in his trolley.
Lucy had been following Arista around WalMart for twenty minutes trying to get his attention but failed as Arista was in the zone
"Feel the force" proclamied Arista as he picked up a reduced jar of pickled eggs and placed them in the trolley.
Lucy who was now getting impatient grabbed Aristas arm and took out a large handful of mistle toe kiss to teleport them but at the last second Arista knocked it out of her hand before she blew it causing to be wasted. "What the ****" cried Lucy "Get down and funky, watch out for them junkies" was Aristas reply who then leened over Lucy to grab some discount chicken and strolled off down the shopping aisle.

Lucy knew Arista wasn't going to help her so decided to leave the walmart with a glum look on her face. She no longer knew what to do, there was no chance of her finding Kazzane alone. Then suddenly she spotted Aristas space ship. She had an idea, if she could smuggle on the spaceship maybe Arista would lead her to Kazanne unknowingly. Lucy put her plan into action she pulled out the tiniest bit of mistletoe kiss that was left over in her pocket and it was just enough to mange to teleport her inside of Aristas spaceship where she hid in an onboard toilet. A few minutes passed and Arista had finished his shop and was starting up his rocket. "Life in the fast lane" he muttered to himself before blasting out a Lady Gaga CD and taking off. Hopefully to lead them to Wizard Kazanne.

Meanwhile Pixie Scott, The Twins and Baby Zeesus were.....

[Benjamin]

...standing outside the gates of TiBB Towers. The legendary castle of The Mighty Lord of Reality.

'How do we get in?' asked the twins, 'there are two gaurds standing patrol'.

Pixie Scott recognised the guards, he's had many a run in with them before. 'Don't you worry, I'll distract the Guards, I've dealt with Rory and Dezzy before. You guys must sneak in when I do, but you won't have much time'.

The twins looked at each other, they were scared but very excited by this all. They watched Pixie Scott approach Rory and Dezzy...

[Angus]

...standing outside the gates of TiBB Towers. The legendary castle of The Mighty Lord of Reality.

'How do we get in?' asked the twins, 'there are two gaurds standing patrol'.

Pixie Scott recognised the guards, he's had many a run in with them before. 'Don't you worry, I'll distract the Guards, I've dealt with Rory and Dezzy before. You guys must sneak in when I do, but you won't have much time'.

The twins looked at each other, they were scared but very excited by this all. They watched Pixie Scott approach Rory and Dezzy...

who watched suspiciously as Pixie approached, writhing sensually whilst divesting himself of his underpants. Their suspicion turned to incredulity as they gazed upon the contents of said underpants. The twins almost forgot they were supposed to be sneaking into the castle, so bemused were they by the size of Pixie's enormous.............

[Benjamin]

...bravery (ha).

The twins pulled their senses together, and ran inside through the gate while they could. They clutched Baby Zeesus closely as they ran, scared that something would happen to him. They didn't dare look back.

They could see the Grand entrance to The Towers, and the moat surrounding it. 'How are we meant to get in? cried Jordan, 'The drawbridge isn't down!'.

'I don't know', Stacey replied, trying to keep a level head and work out a way in. Sudddenly, they stopped running and froze. They turned to focus on what had caught the corner of their eyes. 'Oh my God', Jordan whimpered, while Stacey just looked horrified.

They tried to run again but...

[Z]

This was a truly outstanding effort Shaun. We should be knighted.

[Kate!]

...bravery (ha).

The twins pulled their senses together, and ran inside through the gate while they could. They clutched Baby Zeesus closely as they ran, scared that something would happen to him. They didn't dare look back.

They could see the Grand entrance to The Towers, and the moat surrounding it. 'How are we meant to get in? cried Jordan, 'The drawbridge isn't down!'.

'I don't know', Stacey replied, trying to keep a level head and work out a way in. Sudddenly, they stopped running and froze. They turned to focus on what had caught the corner of their eyes. 'Oh my God', Jordan whimpered, while Stacey just looked horrified.

They tried to run again but...

Michael21 appeared out of the mist, on a flying unicorn. Quick, jump on he cried.....

Jordan and Stacey jumped onto the unicorns back and the creature soared upwards carrying the three of them towards a small but homely nearby lodge.

Michael invited the pair of grateful twins to come inside and have some food and drink.

"Oh how can we repay you for saving us?" cried Jordan....

Michael grinned manically at them.... "you can do all my dishes and then take out the bins" he ordered.

Jordan and Stacey didn't want to stay and become Michael's servants, so they.......

[ThomasC]

Vicky barged in with a 12 inch trap on.

:joker::joker::joker::joker::joker: